/.Chapter Ten.\
I didn't know how long I was out for, whether it was minutes or hours I had no idea, I had fallen into a deep, dreamless state of sleep. There were no nightmares of Cody or dirt bikes, I couldn't remember the last time I had slept so well. When I first woke up I heard the soft beep of a machine near me, soon I could hear soft footsteps coming from somewhere, along with the rolling wheels of a cart. I opened my eyes to the blurred off-white paint of the walls, I frowned and blinked, rubbing my eyes. When everything came into focus I realized I was in a hospital room, it was of medium size, with off-white walls and blue tiling on the floor. The hospital bed next to mine was empty, the door to the room was open, and a nurse walked past silently.
I frowned a little and looked to my left, there were a few chairs set up for visitors, and there was a television sitting on a desk up against the wall. Two large windows showed the overcast sky, and a small drift of snow had built up on the windowsill. I kept turning my gaze, next to me was a bedside table, and it was over-run with large bouquets of flowers; yellow roses, orchids, and daisies, all of them bursting with color. There was even a 'Get Well Soon!' balloon. I thought of Heartland and smiled, there was also a discarded newpaper sitting on the table. I reached over and picked it up, it was the Little River Press, on the front cover was a picture of Heartland, the white farmhouse and the two barns covered in snow looked almost like a Christmas card. Next to the large picture of Heartland was a smaller head shot of Novello, holding her elegant head proudly, her bright blue eyes looking into the camera. above the pictures was the title, in bold print,
Out Of The Storm
I quirked an eyebrow slightly, but went on to read the article,
On November 26, 2006 around 6:30 PM, Emily Day, 4, was reported missing as a blizzard began. The residents of Heartland, a rehabilitation stable for horses, searched the area countless times, but Emily was nowhere to be found. Soon the police arrived, but by this time the storm was picking up, and they couldn't send out a search party. The howling winds and freezing cold didn't stop Jessica Gray, 15, though. She had been living at Heartland for a few days, and went off to look for Emily on her own. She was reported missing at 7:00 PM.
Both the police and Heartland residents tried thier best to find both missing girls, but the storm was at it's height, and all they could do was wait for it to let up. Jessica and Emily weren't the only ones to go off into the blizzard though, at 8:00 PM Novello, a Quarab mare that Heartland had rescued a few days ago was missing from her stall. The mare hadn't run away though, half an hour later, Novello came walking calmly back onto the Heartland property, carrying both Jessica and Emily on her back. Both girls were beginning to suffer from hypothermia, and thanks to Novello, they were both brought back to Heartland just in time.
Both Jessica and Emily are now at Little River Hospital, and doing well, they will both be allowed to return home in time for Thanksgiving. Novello is also fine, and she is back in her stall at Heartland. Authorities are happy to..
I didn't finish reading the article though, I knew enough. I put the paper down on my lap, remembering the harsh darkness and silence of the woods that night, and whom I had seen...
"You gave us all a pretty bad scare,"A voice said from the doorway.
I turned my head quickly to see Amy walking into the room, she was wearing a light blue sweater and jeans, her long brown hair was pulled back in a pony tail. She was carrying a bag in her hand. She sat down in one of the chairs near me and smiled.
I tried my best to smile back,"Eh, I felt like I needed to shake things up a bit."
Amy watched me,"Well, I think we've had enough excitement to last us a while. How do you feel?"
"Definitely,"I murmured in agreement, my thoughts going over the past week, it felt like at least a month had past since I had arrived at Heartland. I paused and then answered her question,"Sore."
I really did feel sore, it felt like every muscle in my body was aching, like I had just run two miles. My thoughts turned to Emily and Novello and I asked Amy,"How's Emily? Is she alright? And how's Novello doing?"
"They're both fine,"Amy answered with a patient smile,"Emily is going home today, Lou can't thank you enough, and Novello's doing fine as well, I think she misses you,though. Scott says that he'll be able to take out the stitches soon."
"Good,"I smiled, relieved to know that everything was alright, then I asked,"How long have I been out for?"
"About a day,"Amy replied, then she added,"The doctors said that you could come home Wensday, but since you're awake, you might be able to come home tomorrow. You'll have to take it easy for a while, though."
Home, I had never felt so relieved to be going home in my life. I was quiet for a few moments, looking out the window and thinking about Heartland, but then another thought hit me.
"Has Christina found out?"I asked suddenly, looking at Amy.
She smiled and laughed slightly," I knew you'd ask me that, and yes, she has, your parents know too, but I talked to them and let them know that you're alright. I think you should call them though, just to reassure them."
Then she seemed to remember something,"Which reminds me.."She reached into the bag and pulled out a jacket, then handed it to me. It took it and looked over it carefully, it was a dark brown leather jacket, the leather had a beat-up look, it was lined with tan fleece. It looked a little big, but I would grow into it.
Amy watched me, then continued,"I found it in the closet the other day, it was your mom's, I think she'd want you to have it."
"If only I'd had this earlier,"I joked, trying to keep the conversation light.
I kept my gaze on the jacket, running my hand over the soft fleece, I could even smell some of my mom's perfume on it. I felt a lump begin to form in my throat, I pulled the jacket close to me and then looked at Amy.
"Well, I guess I'd better tell you what happened,"So I did.
I began when I had found out where Emily might be, remembering her saying to Scott that she wanted to go on a ride, so I had gone onto Clairedale Ridge. I told Amy about how I had gone into the woods and how I had been scared to death of getting lost or finding Emily fallen in the snow, then I went on to tell her how I found Emily's toy horse, and that's when I knew I was going in the right direction. Amy listened carefully the entire time, watching me with a mix of concern and understanding, I really felt like she was listening to every word I said, and I told her what happened, I began to feel a weight lift off my shoulders.
I continued to tell her how I had found Emily by the abandoned shed, and how I had tried to carry her back, talking to keep her awake. But I had fallen in the snow and soon Novello had shown up, then we had ridden her back to Heartland.
"It's like she knew where we were the whole time, and she knew the whole way home,too,"I finished, watching Amy.
She seemed touched by the story,"Horses can do amazing things if you put your trust in them."
She was quiet for a few moments, but then continued,"Byron was the first one to notice you were missing, he kept going 'Where's Jess? Where's Jess?' We looked around the barn for you, at the pastures, everywhere. But of course we couldn't find you, so we figured that you had gone off to look for Emily by yourself, which was an idiotic decision and you should have told us."
I met her gaze and I smiled sheepishly,"Sorry,"I mumbled.
"Well, at least you're okay,"Amy said warily, then she continued,"Pretty soon I went out to check on the horses, and Novello's stall door was open. Scott must have forgotten to push the bolt all the way."
She paused, then added jokingly,"If I'd have known you were going to go running off into storms and rescuing horses, I would have thought twice about offering for you to stay at Heartland."
I laughed a little, grinning,"Yeah, but I keep things interesting, don't I?"
Amy nodded, grinning as well,"There's never a dull moment."
I chuckled a little and shook my head slightly, looking out the window for a few moments, I let my thoughts wander, thinking about everything that had happened since the accident, life had been a roller-coaster ride of emotions and events. Looking back, I realized how far I had come, and how much Heartland had helped me. I turned my gaze back to the jacket and I remembered seeing Cody in the woods, I hadn't told Amy about it, I still felt a weight on my shoulders, something that I needed to cleanse myself of, so I could truly move on. Then I remembered the argument I had had with Amy, I had thought of it a few times during our conversation, trying to keep the atmosphere light, but I knew I'd have to bring it up.
"Listen, Amy.."I began, turning to look at her,"I'm sorry that I snapped at you like that, when you were talking to me about the fight. You're right, I should have told a teacher or done something other than resulting to violence. It's just that life's been pretty tough lately, with Cody, and my mom, and now my dad's getting remarried, I just couldn't take it anymore, so I snapped. It shouldn't be an excuse though, you're my friend, Amy, and I really trust you, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."
I met Amy's brown eyes, but there was a small smile on her face. It wasn't a look of sorrow, or pity, something that dozens of people had given me; it was of understanding, and hope for the future.
"It's okay, Jess,"Amy started quietly," I know what it's like to lose someone, and I should have been a little easier on you, you've been through a lot lately; coming to a new place where you don't know anyone, trying to cope with your past, it's not easy to go through by yourself. I just want to let you know that you can talk to me."
These were the words that I had been waiting to hear for the longest time. Now I knew I had to come to terms with my past, and let go of my anger if I really wanted to move on, and the only way to let go of this pain and anger, was to confess it. I looked out the window at the gray sky again and sighed, then I quietly began,
"..I thought I saw Cody when I was out in the woods with Emily. I looked up and I saw him walking towards us, and then he stopped and looked at me, and he smiled, like he really meant it, too. And then Novello came walking up to us, it was like he had shown her where we were, like he was helping save us. I knew it was only a hallucination, but it felt so real seeing him," I turned my gaze to Amy and I found it was hard to speak, a lump was forming in my throat again and tears were welling up in my eyes. She was watching me, listening, her brown eyes filled with understanding.
I took a steadying breath and continued,"I never meant to run Cody off of the track that day, it was an accident. I was going too fast and one of the other riders hit me, and then I hit Cody..his bike went flying off the track, and I tried to grab him, but he was too far out of my reach, I couldn't save him. When he fell, he landed on his neck, and he died instantly. I never meant to kill Cody, I just thought that if I won the qualifieds, my dad w-would be proud of me. I just wanted my dad to take notice of me, he was never interested in my horseback riding when I was younger, so that's why I started dirt biking, I wanted to make him proud, like Cody did," I paused and took a steady breath, my hands were shaking horribly,"My mom supported me with motocross, even though I had given up riding. Now she's in Outpatient, and my dad won't talk to me, and Cody's dead, it's all my fault. If I'd have known what was going to happen, I would have let him win. I never meant for him to die, I loved him so m-much."
Amy watched me and stood up, sitting on the bed, and she hugged me close to her, murming,"It's okay, it's going to be alright. It's not your fault, Jess, it was an accident, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. I'm sure your parents understand, and I'm sure Cody does,too."
And instead of blinking the tears away, for the first time I buried my face in Amy's shoulder, and let the tears fall. as they streamed down my cheeks I felt the heavy burden of guilt, rage and pain lift off of my shoulders and fly away. I was washing away the memories, I was cleansing myself of the storm, of the accident, of the dozens of nightmares I had had, and afterwards I would be able to face the hope for tomorrow.
"Jess, dinner's ready."
I turned my gaze away from the window, the stable yard looked like a Winter wonderland, a glistening layer of powdery snow covered the ground, but paths had been shoveled for the horses, making zig-zag lines across the ground. I didn't feel sore any more, actually I was eager to go back outside and be with the horses again. I had been put on bed suspension for the whole morning though, not being allowed outside, Lou had come over earlier, she and amy had banished me from the kitchen so they could cook Thanksgiving dinner. I had been forced to stay up in my room and be tortured by the scent of turkey cooking along with many other deliscous platters. Amy was standing in the doorway, wearing a nice pair of jeans and a light orange sweater, her dark brown hair cascaded down her back.
I had decided to dress nicely as well, wearing a light blue sweater-vest along with a pair of faded jeans. I had pulled my hair back into a bun. I looked at Amy and smiled a little, then followed her downstairs.
The kitchen was cozy and comforting, warm with with nice smells and the company of friends. Lou was putting a few more dishes on the table while Scott, Ty and Emily helped set up the plates. I looked around the kitchen and smiled, and then there was a knock at the door.
I walked over and opened the door, to see Byron standing on the porch, along with an older woman standing behind him. Byron was wearing a button up shirt with a pair of slacks, he looked at me and smiled warmly, the wiman behind him had his deeo brown eyes, and was wearing a light purple hat, which matched her outfit, I realized that this was Byron's mother. She was carrying a box with her.
"Sorry if we're running late,"He said, I opened up the door and motioned for them to come in.
"No, you're just in time,"I smiled. Amy had invited Byron and his mother over for Thanksgiving dinner.
His mother handed me the box and smiled,"I brought over some apple pie, and I'd like to thank you all again for inviting us."
I looked at the box and smiled again, closing the door after they came in,"Thanks, it's just what we needed."
I put the pie on the counter for later, and then we all sat down at the table, which was goraning under all of the plates. There was turkey, stuffing, green beans, corn, cranberry sauce -all different types of warm food, and there was plenty to go around. I sat inbetween Emily and Byron, sitting across from Ty and Amy.
A silence fell around the table as Amy stood and began to speak.
"Well,"She began, looking around the table, her eyes bright,"First I'd just like to thank everyone for coming, it's a pleasure to have everyone here. Ty and I would also like to thank everyone for thier help with Heartland, everything we've been through, all the horses we've helped, we couldn't have done it without you. The past few days have been pretty rough, but with each others help, we've made it through."
There were soft murmurs of agreement around the table, I stayed quiet, watching Amy as she sat down.
Ty then looked at me and said,"Jess, would you like to say anything?"
A silence fell around the table once again, and I could feel everyone's gazes on me, I felt some color rush to my cheeks, but I took a steady breath and smiled. I looked around the table, at the smiling, happy faces, I remembered everything that had happened over the past year, and then I began.
"..When I first came to Heartland, I had my doubts. After the accident, I was convinced that what had happened was my fault, and I would have to face it,"My gaze met Amy's, and I could see the understanding and happiness there, and I smiled,"...But what I didn't know was that I didn't have to face the past alone. I have friends to help see me through, Heartland made me realize that I wasn't alone. I'd like to thank everyone for helping me see that."
Amy looked at me and beamed, I smiled back, and then exchanged glances with Byron. Ty began to carve the turkey and bits of light and happy conversation started around the table, I looked around the table at the happy faces again, and I had never felt more at home, I realized I wouldn't have rather been anywhere else.
After everyone was finished with dinner, I helped Amy clean up the plates and put out new ones for desert. As I helped dry the dishes, I looked out the window over the sink at the barn and the light gray sky.
Amy followed my gaze, thens he sighed shaking her head a little, smiling,"Go on ahead, but don't stay out too long, you'll miss desert."
I grinned happily and finished drying the dish,"Thanks, Amy,"I said, then I walked over to the door and put on my mom's jacket and my boots.
Byron got up from the table,"I'll come with you."
The two of us left the house and stepped out into the cool afternoon, walking on the path that led to the barn. The stable yard was peacefully silent, it really was beautiful with all the snow. Byron and I walked in calm silence for a few minutes, approaching the barn, it wasn't an awkward silence, there just wasn't anything that needed to be said.
As we stepped into the mouth of the barn Byron looked at me and asked, grinning,"So do you think Heartland's just 'alright'?"
I looked at him as we walked down the barn aisle, our footstep echoing in the silence, and I smiled, joking, but trying to sound cassual,"Oh, I don't know..I guess I could see myself staying here for a little while."
For the first time since the County National qualifieds, I felt completely at peace with the world, I now knew that there was hope for tomorrow, and despite whatever happened, I knew everything would turn out okay. For the first time in a long time I felt like I belonged, Heartland felt like home to me. Well, I guess I could let Christina be right for once, coming to Heartland to start over had definitely worked, I had friends by my side, people I could trust. I had faced Cody's accident and accepted his death, now I could move on. After everything that had happened, I couldn't have imagined things working out so well. I was so happy, I can't even think of words to describe it.
Novello had heard our footsteps, she stuck her head over her stall door, her ears perked. Her eyes were bright and intelligent, hinting at the untamed beauty within. She tossed her elegant head lightly when she saw me and whinnied happily. I smiled and walked over to her, stroking her face as she nuzzled my shoulder.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
