One day, Megan Quinn used all her smarts to make the Rules.
The Rules were a long itemized list of rules. Megan had formed them over the course of her life. Some rules were added as reminders, things that Megan needed to see in written form to keep her loyal to them. Others were removed or left out, because things that were so easy to say that she shouldn't have to write them down.
Some of them were obvious. 'Make the impossible happen.' 'Don't make guesses.' 'The Plan is Law.' 'Trust your judgement.' 'Lie, lie, lie.'
All the things she needed to remember how to do her job.
Some things were left unwritten. Megan would change her name based on wherever she had brought herself. She wouldn't make any link back Home. Whoever she became, Megan never took them off. There was no days off, no reminders of Home, no time spent living as Morgan Spencer when Megan Quinn had work to do.
Most importantly: she couldn't- mustn't- can't ever tell.
==BAP==
Megan Quinn was very careful in her work. She gathered up all the skills she could muster, all the skills that later in life had some calling her paranoid or a workaholic.
Is it still called paranoid if I'm right?
She watched, she studied, she made sure to remember every last bit of information so it would be in her head when she needed it. As they were putting together the profile and case for Vincent Perotta, Megan saved these thoughts for later.
She used them all. Made details and notes so she would never be caught so unawares. The idea of not being prepared gave Megan a fair share of sleepless nights. It horrified her that she could be busted by the slightest mistakes.
==BAP==
You grew up in a house that looked normal and happy, didn't you, Vincent?
Did I?
But your father beat you every chance he got.
He smacked me around some. Didn't everybody's old man?
No.
Well, maybe if yours had, you would have learned to fight.
Megan's dad had never hit her. Neither did Megan's mother. That required them ever noticing her.
==BAP==
Paranoid personalities develop in childhood.
You know, you're saving me thousands of dollars in therapy bills.
You learned to take the beatings, the abuse. You learned to smile. But in the back of your mind you probably thought... 'one day... One day when I'm big enough.' So you were bullied and abused and you became an abuser and a bully. It's a logical progression.
Really?
Yeah.
Whenever Megan's parents did notice her, it was to shame her. It was to call her out on lies- or rather, truths they didn't want to admit were lies. Megan grew up thinking that the worst of the worst was around every single corner, that every bad thing was coming for her because why shouldn't it? Normal people didn't think like that. So Megan must be an oddity, and so her parents must be right in their shamings. They were her parents. They loved her. Their statements probably weren't meant to hurt Megan. If she weren't such a drama queen, maybe it wouldn't.
She was a liar, and Megan's research via TV told her that all liars got what was coming to them. So for Megan, expecting danger was just the thing to do. The first time Megan ever used her powers, Megan ran with the punches and the danger. She figured it was the punishment rearing it's head.
But one day...one day when she's big enough...maybe she could redeem herself as a liar.
(Rule 1: She lies)
==BAP==
Megan was proud to be the one pointing out all of the clues leading to Vincent's hideout. The pizza box left in his car, his one murder of a woman and the mistakes surrounding it, and even spent some time watching the videotapes with Garcia and Reid.
When it came to saving the life of Jimmy, Megan let herself feel pride in her work. She'd helped in a big way. Megan had to pick up the slack from the lack of Elle, and Megan thought she was doing a good job of it. Megan figured that this was her job, that Elle not being there was her fault by coming to this world in the first place. She had to make up for her mistakes.
(Rule 7: You make the mess, you clean the mess)
You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive, violent household it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers.
Some people?
What's up?
You said some people grow up to become killers.
And some people grow up to catch them.
Megan considered the job all done. She went home, taking down all her paperwork from this episode. Jimmy was saved. Vincent was locked away.
She had done good.
Right?
==BAP==
Years later, Megan would be talking to a little girl. She was giving the girl all the warnings Megan had grown up teaching herself.
The girl took to the teaching like a duck to water. She loved the lying, she loved the hiding, she loved spending time with Megan.
It only made Megan feel a little bad. She never wanted anybody else to grow up like she did. Megan had trained a liar. She never wanted the little girl to feel like Megan did. So every action the little girl did, Megan praised. Every rule the girl broke, Megan offered comfort and simple correction.
The little girl loved Megan. And she hated everyone who made Megan feel bad.
Your mother knew. She knew that he beat you every day and she did nothing to help you. And you still loved her. Even though she let you get hurt, you loved her. And I wondered why. Why you didn't hate her. Then of course I realized that he beat her as much as he beat you.
Don't talk about my mother.
You killed all these people, hundreds of them, and only one woman. That's what made you get sloppy, isn't it? Killing Mrs Dimarco was hard. That's why you killed her first and you made it quick. I thought it was to establish dominance, but it wasn't.
He was a bastard, alright?
But that little girl never made Vincent's mistakes. Megan had taught her better than that. The little girl was working to make Megan proud, and the little girl never wanted to let her down.
==BAP==
AN: Apparently I have a thing for writing my character being gaslit. A profiler might have something to say about this.
Thanks to , Lord Archer Sirius Black, ScaryMary54, queen angelica, for favoriting
Thanks to Adaya Black, , Sulamithe, Lord Archer Sirius Black, ScaryMary54, loserfanficlover, .Lakeya, artemisrocks124, hexandvex, queen angelica, for following
