Copyright:I don't own final fantasy 8. I dont own Squall. i wish i did. i also wish i had a miilion pounds, a house with a swimming pool and a pet panda called Hiro. But i dont. I also dont own the lyrics in this piece, from "Somewhere" by within temptation (awesome band btw)
Note:Well this is a one shot, about Squall and rinoa in time compression after the ultemecia fight. If you havent completed the game, and you don't know what happens i'd advise you not to read it. I know evereyone has their own take on the ending. this is just my personal one. But give it a read please.Well as usual many many thanks to Hannah and wayne for always reading my work and Wayne for being sweet and hannah for being my best mate. thanks to anyone reading this. enjoy the storyxx
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Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign
Instead there's only silence
Can't you hear my screams?
Never stop hoping, need to know were you are
But one things for sure, you're always in my heart
Squall glanced desperately around the vast baron landscape. The air was heavy, the wind whipping violently around. Squall shivered in the bitter cold embracing him from all sides. The final battle with Ultemicia had been extremely strenuous and Squall knew he was lucky he had made it at all. But after the strange and spectacular battle he found himself here, wandering baron earth, cold and alone. His whole body ached. He had no idea how long he had been traipsing through this place, maybe it had been hours, maybe it had even been days. It had felt like an eternity to Squall. His mind seemed to throb with confusion and his limbs felt heavy like lead, but the real pain came from his heart. Every step he took brought his heart one step closer to breaking. He was searching for something he could not find and it was killing him. He desperately wanted to find Rinoa. He wanted to know were she was or at least he wanted some sign that she was alive, that she had survived the fight too.
'Rinoa' he thought sadly 'what if you…didn't make it? How am I supposed to know?'
He carried on searching, wandering for what felt like another eternity. But nothing changed. He seemed to be going in circles in the same, dark, rocky hell. "Why is this happening" he whispered to himself. He sat down on the ground, exhaustion finally getting the better of him, and buried his head in his hands.
"Rinoa…..where are you? Why can't I find you? Why am I…here?" he muttered to himself. But in an instant it occurred to him exactly were Rinoa probably was. She was waiting for him, waiting were he had promised she'd find him. Were he'd promised he'd be waiting for her. But squall knew he had failed.
"I couldn't keep a simple promise" he muttered to angrily to himself. More determined than ever to find her and keep his promise he started to stand up, but his body was still exhausted and dropped down to the floor again. In desperation he screamed out "Rinoa…..Rinoa where are you?"
Squalls mind was a muddle of different emotion. His heart was full of sorrow, he longed just once more to see Rinoa, to hear her voice. His thoughts were full of anger, He had promised Rinoa he would wait for her and together they would watch shooting stars. But he had let her down in the worst way possible, he failed the one person he had ever loved, in a way he'd failed himself. He hated himself for doing this. He could imagine Rinoa standing waiting alone. Waiting for him, tears rolling down her face. Would she understand how badly Squall had wanted to be there. Or would she think he just didn't care, didn't really mean what he had promised. "Rinoa" he whispered "you have to know that I love you". His mind was wracked with confusion. Was there any way out of this place? And even if he couldn't save himself, could he at least find a way to know if Rinoa was alright?
I'll find you somewhere.
I'll keep on trying
Until my dying day
Forcing himself up off the ground Squall once again started to search for Rinoa, calling out her name.
A heavier darkness seemed to descend and Squall could hardly see anymore. He closed his eyes and thought of what he had been told. To think of a place he wanted to be, a time when he had been happy. His thoughts wandered back to the moment in Edeas garden. "I'll be waiting for you. So…if you come here…you'll find me…I promise." The words seemed to echo in his head. He so badly wanted to make his promise come true.
Squall searched in the darkness as long as he could, but he began to stumble and then he dropped to the ground again, defeated. He knew, deep inside, that he was probably going to die in this place. He could feel the energy draining out of him, the life being pulled away. He closed his eyes and he tried to picture Rinoa, her beautiful smiling face. But instead he saw a quick, blurred stream of images. They made no sense. They were fragmented, disjointed, like a broken videotape skipping and jumping from one crackly memory to another. He saw flashes from all aspects of his journey. Edea and seifer. Garden, Cid. Zell, quistis, Irvine and Selphie. Laguna and Ellone.the old orphanage, the night he danced at the ball. The images seemed to falter and crackle and then pass quickly. But one clear image painfully struck his mind. Space. As Rinoa floated out in the air, he didn't see her saved as she had been, but the protective glass of the helmet shattering, undoubtedly ending her life. What was the point of this image. Was it trying to tell Squall something. Was it trying to tell him that now Rinoa was dead. That everything he'd done had been lost, pointless as she had not survived this fight? Was it a sign of the great pain, suffering, worry, despair and guilt he felt now, without her? The sound of the glass shattering echoed in his thoughts, as that one final image shattered his mind and his heart…….
Lost in the darkness,
trying to find your way home
I want to embrace you
And never let you go
As the strange bright lights that had marked the demise of Ultemeicias world started to fade, Rinoa squeezed her eyes shut and remembered what it was she had been told to do. Think of where she wanted to be. "Squall. I want to be with Squall" she whispered. In her mind she saw the image of the flower Garden beside Edeas orphanage. Surely that's were Squall would be, were he had promised he would wait?
But when she opened her eyes she was shocked. The place that she found herself in was cold, dark, a vast rough landscape. "Squall?" she asked quietly "is this….where you are?". The place scared her. The ground was rough and jagged beneath her feet and the wind brought a biting cold around her. Shivering, she raised her hand and touched the chain hanging around her neck. The delicate silver chain held both her ring, and Squalls ring that he had given her. She tightly grasped the two rings in he hands closed her eyes and said once again "I want to be with you Squall"
But when she opened her eyes again she was still in the same strange place. 'So squall's really here?' she thought confusedly. The place chilled her inside and out. It was so strange, so foreboding, so…empty. She began to wander through the strange environment looking for Squall. She squinted through the darkness ahead, but everything still looked the same, as far as she could see. 'what kind of nightmare is this place' she thought worriedly to herself, as she started to walk faster trying to fight off the cold 'why is Squall here? Did…did something happen to him? After the fight?' A terrifying thought dawned on her. Was Squall……dead? Had he been condemned to this place, a sort of hell? Tears formed and stung behind Rinoas dark eyes. she so badly wanted to find him, to know that he had made it and that they could be together. She wished she could find him, tell him that she loved him and hold onto him forever. But was it even possible? Had he even made it, was he alive? Or for all his strength and bravery had he still been defeated? Was he just…gone? Had she been left all alone without her knight?
Almost I hope you're in heaven?
So no one can hurt your soul
I'm living in agony
Because I just do not know
Where you are
The thought became more and more real and more and more terrifying. Rinoas heart started to ache as she imagined any of the horrible things that could have happened to Squall. Maybe he'd been seriously injured, mortally wounded. Or maybe he had been caught in ultemicias world, trapped in time compression. Condemned to a living hell?
"No" Rinoa gasped this isn't right. "Squall…he was a hero. His soul should be free. No, he should be alive". it was almost as if she was trying to convince herself that Squall was alive and well somewhere, waiting for her. "You're alive, I just have to find you" she said determinedly to the open air. It was painful not knowing if she could find him, not knowing if her true love was alive but she did know she had to be strong if she hoped to find him. She couldn't give up. She knew she could never get the only thing she wanted if she didn't at least try to find Squall. He was the only thing she wanted, she wanted only to be held in his arms, the way he had embraced her and held on to her so tightly once before, when he had rescued from the sorceress memorial, when they'd both realised they extent of their feelings for the other. As she thought of that memory a warm feeling spread through her whole body. She remembered how amazing it felt when he held her close to him, how she had felt so comforted, secure and wanted when she was in his arms. She so desperately wanted to feel that way again. "I will find you Squall. I promise"
Wherever you are I wont stop searching,
whatever it takes for me to know
I'll find you, I'll keep on searching
I just need to know whatever has happened
But Rinoa became more and more scared as she searched. Unsuccessful, the wondering was causing her agony. She missed her knight more than she ever thought possible. Tears began to flow freely and heavily down her face and she quickened her pace desperate to find him. Soon she was running frantically through the darkness screaming Squalls name. Her thoughts were such a mess. This was so much like the dream she had had; running all over the world to find Squall. But he had promised her she'd find him. But she couldn't, she couldn't find him anywhere. Were had it all gone wrong? Like in her dream, she ran and ran but soon she couldn't run any more. Breathlessly she cried out "Squall…where are you?". She wandered slowly ahead trying to regain her breath. But after a few steps, something caught her eye. Peering through the darkness she saw someone lying on the ground. "Squall?" she ran closer as fast as she could. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight. It was Squall, lying unconscious. She knelt down and turned his face towards her, but his eyes were closed. "Squall...it's me". She ran her fingers through the hair covering his face brushing it aside, and laying her hand on his face. His skin was cold and pale and he made no movement, no response to her touch. She lifted his head off the ground "Squall?" she pleaded amongst her sobs "Squall wake up." Nothing. He didn't make a single movement. A chill went up Rinoas spine. "No!" she sobbed unable to control her emotion which flowed in the constant stream of tears "No…Squall…". But there was still no response. Her tears became hysterical and she lifted Squalls body and pulled him close to her. But for once in his presence she felt no comfort, only unbearable grief. "Squall I love you…..don't leave me" She cried as she held his lifeless form against her body "No this isn't fair! You can't take him from me!" Her tears, anger and sorrow started to choke her and she buried her head against Squalls body her emotions now uncontrollable. How close she had come to love and yet how far away she was now. She'd seen so much hope, she'd found her one true love and now he was being snatched away. "Please" she whispered as she sobbed against Squall's chest "Please. I wish you'd just come back. Please come back. I'm begging you"
Suddenly the sound of the hissing wind died away and some of the darkness began to lift. Rinoa glanced up sharply, tears blurring her vision. Suddenly, as if by a strange but beautiful magic a blast of light travelled across the landscape around her. The solid ground turned to a spring green grass covered in beautiful flowers. The mottled grey sky turned a sparkling blue and the hissing wind was chased away by floating feathers and flower petals dancing through the air. Soon the whole grim landscape had become a light, familiar and comforting place. Rinoa blinked in amazement, staring into the sky in a state of confusion. But as she looked around, a slight smile caused by the miraculous changes around her, she could swear she felt a small movement against her arms. She glanced quickly down at Squall, but he still lay motionless in her arms. She closed her eyes trying to control the tears, but once again she felt a movement. She looked down. Squall tilted his head towards her and slowly his eyes began to flicker open. She once again glanced to the heavens. Had there really been some kind of miracle? She heard a faint but familiar and comforting voice "Rinoa…".
Her knight, her protector, her hero was alive. She was overwhelmed with disbelief. But she was also filled with joy. She looked down again…and smiled.
and ok a quick note. the ending may seem like a little wierd. But i'm one of those people who doesnt like the dead squall theory. because i think he was alive in the end. and one of the things that makes me think that is after the sky goes all glowy and everything goes nice the way rinoa looks down and then her face just lights up. so i like how understated and clam yet so important that moment is so that explains the ending, hope you liked it.
