What the Other Doesn't Know

Cat Puns Ruin the Meowment

The next time Wade informed Kim that she would be up against Shego, she came prepared-with a list of over twenty cat puns she had found on the internet.

"Sup, Shego," she greeted with a smug grin on her face, catching the woman right in the act of taking a diamond out of a vault in the city's safe. "It seems I've cat you redhanded today."

Shego turned around, her brow arched in question. "What?"

Kim ignored Shego's confusion and went on, reciting things from the list she had memorized. "I don't mean to kitten your robbery time, but you've been found so you better cough that diamond back up." Kim held out a demanding hand and Shego eyed the hand then the diamond and the hand again.

"There is no way you're getting your hands on this!" Shego possessively held onto the diamond. "This gem is mine. I worked hard to figure out how to break in here and get it! So I suggest you back off, before I make you!" Shego pocketed the gem and put her fists up, plasma coming to life.

"You're in no pawsition to be making threats like that," Kim said, readying her body for combat. But the statement made it hard for Shego to concentrate on fighting Kim seriously.

"Why are you saying such things?" She asked, honestly confused by the emphasis that Kim was putting on certain words.

"I'm just making cat puns to get back at you for all those horrible dog puns you made!" Kim shot back. "And as a hero it's my job to uh, make the villains sweat in terror when I talk to them," Kim parodied what Shego had told her last time.

"The only terror you're inducing are those terrible puns."

"See! Now you know and feel my pain. Your jokes were cat-astrophically horrid! Now, come get licked by me, pussy!" Kim shouted out, with her fist up.

Shego's mouth hung open and her cheeks colored a bit. "Uh, no. Kimmie, do you know what you just said?"

"Yes," Kim rolled her eyes. "I told you I would fight you, kitty."

"No, well yes, but no. It just doesn't sound good the way you phrased it." Shego shook her head. "Pussy is slang for," at this she pointed at her own crouch with her pointer finger as she didn't know of a less vulgar way of explaining this to the young teen. "And you said you would lick it..." Shego trailed off watching Kim's face turn an adorable shade of red as it all sunk in.

"No, no! I didn't mean that." Kim exclaimed as she covered her eyes, too shamed to look the other in the eye. "Pussy was supposed to mean cat. Just another word for cat! And I meant lick as in punching! Like getting my licks in and stuff." Why did it always end up that Kim would say inappropriate things to Shego? This was something totally unhero like. And she had said with such gusto and confidence.

Shego let out a little chuckle at Kim's reaction, covering her smile with her hand. Kim was just too cute. "It's okay Kim. I'm sure you didn't mean to make such a vulgar suggestion. Where did you even get such phrasing?"

"I got it from the internet!" Kim answered. And it had failed her like it had last time in the case of using swear words. She held out the list and thrust it at Shego as if offended by it. "Here it is."

Shego took the paper gently and ran through it, her brows rising on some of the phrases at the bottom of the page. "Wow, some of these are really questionable and toeing the line into outright indecency." Then she let the paper go up in green flames in her hand. "Don't ever look up stuff like that on the internet. That place is too dark for you."

"I only wanted to best you at the pun game," Kim admitted, taking her hands away from her face, now that she felt a bit less mortified.

"How about we call a truce then?" Shego stuck out her hand. "No more puns, since you suck at those."

Kim wanted to argue that she didn't suck but given how she had failed terribly today, she withheld her comments. "Alright. No more bad puns-from either of us."

"Yes." Shego smiled, it turning into a smirk. "Brand mew start."

Kim shook Shego's hand and it took her a second to register the words Shego had said. "Did you just make a-" she slowly started as Shego let go of her hand and began to back away. "A good cat pun? Yes, yes I did."

"Shego!" Kim cried out and gave chase. "What did I tell you about making those kinds of jokes?"

"That it was purrfectly fine, as long as we didn't make any bad puns!" Shego called back as she ran while Kim chased her across the lab.


Omake: Ron and Drakken Want to Have Puns too

"Man, they look like their having so much fun," Ron commented wistfully as he looked on from the sidelines as Shego and Kim bantered with each other, pulling out all sorts of dog and cat puns on each other.

"You're barking up the wrong tree!" Shego shouted.

"And you're not getting away with this cat and mouse game!" Kim retaliated as the two chased each other around the latest of Drakken's schemes which was taking place in a giant warehouse.

"I know!" Drakken exclaimed in sympathy. "Why can't we have a funny banter like that?"

Ron thought this over a moment. "Hey, why don't we make one up between us then? You got transformed into a fish and a chicken last time, so I can make a ton of puns from that." Ron tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Like, I'm here to stop your fowl plans!" Ron struck a heroic pose as he said this and Drakken nodded his head in encouragement.

"That's good," he egged on. "Continue."

"I'm here to wipe away your evil inventions from egg-istance! Or, how about this fish one: "I've been herring all about your evil schemes and I'm here to make them net a problem!"

"Haha, I love all of them!" Drakken slapped his knee in laughter.

"Now you do me! Make some puns about me!" Ron said, getting excited by the prospect of finally having a witty banter between him and a villain just like Kim and Shego did.

Drakken went into his thinking mode, scrunching his brows and looking up. "Hmm, but you didn't get turned into an animal so I don't know what puns to make with that."

"How about making puns with my name?" Ron suggested hopefully.

This paused Drakken. What was the boys name again? His too long paused tipped Ron off to the truth. "Oh come on man! We've been fighting each other for two years by now and you still don't know my name!" He couldn't help but feel a bit hurt by this.

"It's not my fault your name is forgettable!" Drakken said, on the defense. "Argh, this is never going to work out now! And it's all your fault!" He pointed an accusatory finger at Ron. "Henchmen, get him!" Five henchmen popped out from behind some crates next to Ron's left and ran at him.

"So not egg-cellent," Ron mumbled dejectedly and then got into position to kick their ass.