Year: 772
4 years after the Cell Game
The raw truth
Since the expedition had ended, many weeks had passed. After a short detour to the city where Ruri lived and studied, they had gathered some stuff and had left together.
17 had only given Ruri a geographical indication: North. But he had not been more precise, and the young woman, strangely, had not asked more questions.
Both of them had travelled a great part of the world since then, relying on the money they had saved. They regularly took breaks, depending on their desires, the beauty of the landscape or the time needed for Ruri to work on her article. Sometimes they spent the night outside, the young woman sleeping under the stars, and sometimes they stopped at a hotel, mainly to wash themselves and their clothes. 17 particularly liked this life in the open air, far from humans and the crowd, alone with Ruri and nature. He also took advantage of this to continue his own learning, taking advantage of every moment to discover new species or to perfect his tracking skills.
Together, the two of them were now a real couple, even if Ruri had never yet dared to discuss the matter with him. She didn't think it was as important as it used to be. Maybe 17 would never tell her that he loved her, nor would he define himself as her "boyfriend", but he was there, right there, with her. And that was enough for her, especially since he seemed to be genuinely happy with her.
However, as the days passed, she had noticed that his attitude had begun to change. At night, she would sometimes pretend to be asleep so she could watch him. While at the beginning of the trip he spent most of his time reading or exploring the surroundings in search of nocturnal animals, as time went by he started to stay still, staring at the horizon in silence as if he was deep in thought. It had not escaped Ruri's notice that the closer they got to the North, the darker and quieter 17 became. She recognized an expression in his eyes that she had already seen during the confrontation with the Kraken.
She was worried about it, but after thinking about it she chose not to tell him. She knew that there was still a lot of pain hidden deep inside him. But she also knew that he trusted her. So Ruri had decided not to rush him and to give him the time he needed. Sooner or later, she was convinced that he would confide in her.
So after months of travel, 17 and Ruri had reached the northern territory. The freezing temperatures there prevented them from spending the night, and as soon as they started to cross it, they were forced to stop every night in a different hotel. It is in one of them that they had just settled down at nightfall. Sitting on the bed of the room, Ruri was immersed in the reading of a scientific article when she was suddenly taken by a shiver.
- It's so cold here ! 17, could you bring me a jacket?
But she got no answer. Looking up from her computer she saw that he was standing in front of the bedroom window, which he had left wide open. Perfectly still, as usual, he was staring into the distance and was obviously too deep in thought to have heard her.
Ruri hesitated for a short while. For days she had been waiting for 17 to tell her what was bothering him. But at that moment she had a revelation.
"I'm such an idiot! He needs to talk, but it's clear that he doesn't understand it. And I'm stupidly waiting for him to speak when it's my job to make him understand!"
She immediately got up and joined him. Once near him, she tenderly caressed his back to attract his attention.
- I'll end up freezing to death, tin can, she said to him in a soft voice.
- Sorry, I didn't pay attention, 17 replied, immediately closing the window.
- It's okay but try to remember that not everyone here has your strengh ! I'm just a normal human!
- Your shorts and tank top, they're not very warm clothes. Why don't you put on the pink pajamas with the strange animals? The ones you wore before?
Surprised, Ruri began to stammer awkwardly:
- But … did you ... see it?
- Yes of course, you were wearing it the night I agreed to come with you. I always wondered why you didn't wear it anymore.
- Because.. uh... I lost it, answered Ruri, suddenly red with shame.
- Really?
- Yes.
- How did you lose it?
- Uh... no... idea.
- Too bad. This garment would keep you warm.
- I wouldn't need this if you just closed the window !
- No, indeed, answered 17, delighted by the reaction of Ruri that he had knowingly provoked. In fact, even if he did not always understand all of her embarrassment, he was not fooled by the little game she had set up to seduce him months before, and playing on her candor and naivety was for him an inexhaustible source of amusement. But when he smiled to her to put an end to this little game, Ruri became again very serious and turned her glance towards the outside.
- So, we are far from Dr. Gero's laboratory?
17 paused and did not answer immediately. But he had been expecting this question for a long time. He stared at her for a few seconds, before he too began to stare silently at the distant horizon.
- No, it's very close to here, he finally said after a few minutes.
- Good.
- Can I know how long you've been guessing?
- A long time to be honest. I have to admit that when you pointing me in a direction you wanted to go, I was intrigued, because you had told me that you had been going everywhere and nowhere for the last 3 years without really settling on a specific place. And then I remembered that the lab was up north. So I finally made the connection.
17 smiled again.
- Your intelligence will always surprise me.
- I think I told you not to underestimate me, right?
- Indeed.
- But it seemed to me that you didn't want to talk about it. So I didn't say anything.
- It's just that it's complicated. To explain I mean.
- I understand. But you also told me that the laboratory was destroyed, right?
- Yes. According to 18.
- So why do you want to go?
- I don't know. It's just...
- Important ?
- Yes.
- Okay. So let's go tomorrow, is that okay?
- Don't you have to work on your article?
- If it's important to you then it's important to me. And I'm not a day away. Although I'm already starting to get invitations to talk about the expedition all over the world actually.
- Really?
- You are underestimating the achievement of our expedition. Scientists haven't been interested in it for very long, but sea monsters have been subjects of discussions for decades, maybe more. There are many stories of fishermen who have seen it, especially for the dragon. I found the testimony of a fisherman who went into the famous tunnel years ago and came out after hearing the howling of several animals. I am reading a book about it and ... OUPS! Sorry 17, I completely change the subject! Sorry, I'm really ...
- No, don't be sorry at all. You are passionate. I really appreciate that about you.
- I gladly accept the compliment. More seriously, don't worry about my article, I'll manage. Let's get back to the subject of the lab. Since that's where you want to go, we should just go. I mean... If you're okay with me going with you?
A short silence followed, during which 17 seemed to think intensely. Ruri was nervous, she was really afraid that he would refuse to let her accompany him. But after a few seconds, 17 nodded and continued:
- Okay. It's getting late Ruri. Finish your reading and go to sleep, we'll leave tomorrow morning.
- Yes, you're right, Ruri answered, relieved. One last chapter and I'll go to sleep. Good night!
- Good night.
17 watched her for a moment as the young woman returned to her work, looking very happy.
He didn't really know what he was going to find in the ruins of the laboratory, but he was convinced that he had to go there, and since a very long time. The idea of returning to this place had even come to him since his resurrection, without him ever having dared to do it. It was actually his meeting with Ruri that had given him the impulse he had lacked, and for that he was infinitely grateful. And that was why he had just accepted that she came with him.
It was finally time for this chapter of his life to come to an end if he wanted to move on, as 18 had managed to do.
With him, long speeches were not very useful. He didn't know what to do with it, and he didn't always understand all the aspects of it. Actions were much more important to 17, and Ruri understood this. The offer to accompany him was more valuable to him than all the statements she could make. Her seemingly fragile human body held a huge strength in her heart that he knew he could count on. She was his companion, his support, the light he only had to follow to get out of the darkness in which he was lost. So, thinking back, a single word went through his mind as he watched her frown over her computer with tenderness.
- Thank you, Ruri.
The young woman looked up at him and replied with a smile:
- You're welcome. A hot coffee brought by you tomorrow will be enough to thank me.
This answer, so simple, without unnecessary additions or further questions, was for 17 the best of all. The deep certainty that he had finally found someone who could understand and accept him as he was helped him enormously that night, during which many memories assailed him. But he managed not to let them overwhelm him.
More than ever he had decided to face them. And when it was finally time to leave, the apprehension that had been building up in him for days was mixed with a firm will to put an end.
With Gero.
With Cell.
One last time.
Finding the location of the laboratory was pretty easy for 17, because even though he had only been out of it once, his memory of the places he had been through with his sister and 16 was still very vivid. But when he had to find the entrance, the task was much more difficult.
The hill which sheltered it had indeed been completely destroyed, leaving in its place only a gigantic heap of stones on which he and Ruri landed before starting to inspect every corner of it. He could however count on his ocular devices to scan the whole zone and to visualize an access. He then cleared the passage and entered it, followed closely by Ruri. Neither of them spoke, advancing together slowly in the rocky vestiges of the main airlock.
Inside, an indescribable pile of garbage littered a floor they walked on with difficulty. Almost completely charred paper, shards of glass and melted plastic were all that remained of the place where 17 and 18 had met the Z team more than 4 years earlier. Ruri's attention was immediately drawn to a metal plate with a very special inscription: 17.
- This was the capsule I was in during the time I was deactivated, 17 explained, guessing her questions.
Without answering, Ruri knelt down to take a closer look at this curious object, without daring to express aloud what this vision inspired in her.
- To be honest I hate the idea that this deactivation mechanism still exists in me. It's like an indelible mark, the persistent evidence of the object I was to him.
17 had spoken without her asking him any questions, and Ruri was not sure if he was really talking to her. But the young woman's resolve was now unwavering: no matter what 17's past was, she would be there for him. It was now her turn to help him. It was her turn to bring him out of the depths and bring him to the surface. Then she corrected him:
- From what he wanted you to be. Not what you are. Not even what you were, 17. You were never a slave to Gero's will.
He turned to her a look of first astonishment, then amusement, before he replied with a laugh:
- Haha! It's true that when he disabled me, I had just tried to kill him.
- And did you obey his orders before that?
- No. He often called me trash because of that. I always refused to obey him.
- You see? You never gave up. You and 18 were very brave.
- Brave? Maybe. But I never liked orders anyway, and still don't.
- Oh, I know, even when we have a plan you always manage to do as you please.
- So there are at least two of us in this case, right? But you know, in fact, I wanted to be free. This desire was stronger than anything, even if it made me make a lot of mistakes.
- Which ones?
- Attack without thinking. I took the first opportunity to try to kill that scum, but he had guessed my intentions, and he was able to disable my sister and me. And most importantly...I never thought there could be a threat like Cell. I let the exhilaration of power and my newfound freedom overtake me. In fact, I never saw or anticipated anything. Gero was always one step ahead and I was just a fool...
- Everyone makes mistakes 17, you are really being too hard on yourself. Do you really think you are the only person in the world who let his pride get the better of his reason? That Vege-thing let Cell absorb 18, wasn't that the stupidest thing to do? Before being a cyborg you are a man, and you are all idiots. Without exception.
Ruri had tried this little joke a bit randomly, not really knowing if the moment was appropriate. She did not know how 17 would react. But he let out a loud laugh, before resuming his walk:
- Haha! Human, remind me never to let you say that kind of thing in front of Vegeta. But I have to admit, you're not entirely wrong.
For the second time since they had entered he was smiling in a frank and sincere way. But this lull did not last. While they had resumed their exploration, the young woman watched anxiously for 17's reactions, and his face had darkened again as they went on. He was impassive, but she quickly got the impression that he was not wandering around randomly at all.
The two of them then went through several rooms that had not been as damaged as the first one. The laboratory seemed to have been like an iceberg, of which Goku's friends had probably only glimpsed the emerging face.
After almost half an hour of exploration, during which they passed without stopping through various rooms filled with a jumble of electronic equipment and computers, they came to a long corridor with several doors on each side. As Ruri moved her hand towards one of them to open it, 17 stopped her with a gesture, grabbing her wrist firmly.
- No, he said, not that one.
Ruri immediately wanted to ask him why, but she didn't. One look was enough for her to understand that 17 was very serious. So, without adding anything, the young woman nodded and moved away from the door to stand behind him. 17, relieved, continued to move forward.
He didn't have the words to explain his reaction, but he knew very well what was behind that door.
A bedroom. His bedroom. The one in which he and 18 had spent the first months of their captivity, when they still needed to sleep. This bedroom was bare, spartan even, with two single beds at the foot of which metal chains were still hanging. He knew Ruri was smart enough to figure out on her own what they were used for: to keep the twins tied up to prevent them from escaping. In the other adjoining rooms were the ones dedicated to the operations that had turned them into cyborgs: clamps, welding equipment, cables, electrical generator. 17 was not anxious to see this place again, because he had long since accepted his new nature. However, the moment he saw Ruri ready to enter the bedroom, he had been brutally brought back to the reality of the situation: he was not alone, she was there, and unlike him she did not know anything about what he had experienced here. In a second a terrifying thought had come to him:
"If you had been here instead of me, how would I react if I learned what Gero had done to you?"
And the answer was obvious.
Empathy.
He still couldn't quite figure out the exact meaning of the word, yet he was beginning to feel the ability to project himself, to no longer be insensitive to the emotions of others. And even less to those of Ruri, who was much more dear to him than anything he had ever seen or touched. He now had something infinitely precious near him that he had to protect at all costs. So, although she wanted to accompany him, he had to make sure that nothing could hurt her. So he did not enter any of the rooms adjoining the bedroom and crossed the corridor, Ruri following him without asking any more questions.
She kept her eyes on him, however, and her initial hunch became a certainty: he wasn't here to reminisce, he was looking for something very specific. And when he finally found it, she realized it almost instantly.
Indeed, after several more minutes of exploration, 17 stopped in front of a huge hole dug in the ground, probably by a powerful explosion. Ruri examined it in silence, without at first distinguishing anything particular inside. Then, little by little, she finally saw cables and lights of all colors: another room was obviously under their feet.
Still without a word, 17 dragged her inside with him.
He had suddenly become feverish, Ruri felt it at the precise moment when he took her in his arms to go down. His heart, very close to hers, had just started to beat at high speed. His breathing had also become faster. Instinctively, the young woman surrounded him of her arms and she felt with the shivering which crossed him that he was not insensitive to this mark of tenderness.
As if he needed to feel her physical presence.
In fact, 17 had arrived where he wanted to come for years. Since the second 18 had told him about this place: the place where Krillin and Trunks had found the computer that made Cell. That part of the lab he hadn't known existed for the entire time he himself had been locked up there. But now that he was there, he couldn't believe his eyes.
Until the end he had found it hard to believe this story. How was it possible, having lived here for so many months, that he could not have realized that this underground room existed? It seemed unreal, impossible. And yet...
He let his incredulous gaze go back and forth from one part of the room to the other before stopping, abruptly. Ruri saw him stiffen, as if an icy blast had just hit him in an instant. He didn't move a millimeter, staring at a pile of charred iron and melted glass that Ruri couldn't understand what was so special about it. But for 17, this was precisely what he had come for. The proof he needed to believe in 18's story.
He then began to move forward in the darkness, heading straight ahead, ignoring everything around him, as if nothing else existed.
"So it was true," he thought, "all this time, while we ... you were already here ..."
When all of a sudden he felt the first signs of this now familiar emotion: first a sharp pain in the sternum. Then this unbearable feeling of suffocation. And finally, the flashes. The memories. All mixed in his head while gradually rising in him a cold, terrible anger, which ensorcelled his throat as if it was going to strangle him.
17 understood that he would not be able to contain it. He thought that this peace, this serenity that he had found with Ruri, would be useful to him to manage to control himself. But it was not. And his inability to overcome this part of the darkness buried in him was the source of an intense frustration that increased his resentment tenfold.
"Ruri..."
Suddenly, he remembered her presence and turned around.
For several minutes the young woman had remained perfectly silent. But not a single gesture of 17's had escaped her, and she was trembling with fear. He saw in her eyes that she was fully aware of what he was going through, just as she saw in his the same distress and coldness as on the boat.
And the thought of the same scene happening again terrified her.
17 knew at that moment that he had to intervene. She had accompanied him, and without her he would never have come here. But now he had to fight. Alone. Against himself. And if she stayed close to him she could only suffer.
"I will never break again what is precious to me, and I will never again lose what is dear to me. I will not make the same mistakes with you as I did with 18" he said to himself when he saw her like this, her eyes already filled with tears.
Then he went towards her and took her in his arms. He wiped her tears with one hand and kissed her softly, for a long time. As the minutes passed, he let his hands go through Ruri's body, from her cheek to the delicious curve of her lower back, his fingers wandering along her long hair. The sensuality of his gestures acted on Ruri like a signal to which she obeyed without even thinking about it, caressing in her turn his arms, his back, before finally placing her hands around 17's neck. This embrace had nothing sexual, even if they both felt a form of pleasure during this physical contact.
It was rather a way of saying to each other what neither of them could express, because Ruri was afraid, while 17 did not know how to express it.
It was their way of saying that they simply loved each other.
When their kiss stopped, Ruri had become calmer, but not completely reassured. But 17 didn't give her time to worry more.
- If I take you back to the exit, can you go back to the hotel alone and wait for me?
The young woman was only half surprised by this request. A part of her immediately wanted to refuse to abandon him in this place. But on the other hand, she knew that she was probably just embarrassing him. He was obviously trying very hard to contain his anger in front of her. In her absence, he could probably let it explode, and she wasn't sure she had the strength to see him in such a state.
- I took my capsule box with my motorcycle so, yes, I can go back, she reluctantly replied.
- Very good. Then we'll ...
- Wait!
- What?
- I want you to promise me two things first.
- Which ones?
- I want you to promise me that you are okay. And ... that you'll come back.
- And what happens if I don't promise?
- Then I'll stay here.
- Really?
- Really.
- You know that if I really want to, I can send you back to the hotel without your consent?
- I don't care.
17 hesitated for a brief moment about what to do. If he wanted to, he would only need a second to make her leave. He knew it, she knew it, but it never had any impact on Ruri. She never cared about the extent of his strength. This attitude made her annoying, reckless at times, always unpredictable and terribly amusing.
"How stubborn you can be," he thought as he moved closer to her, "well, I guess you leave me no other option".
- You are quite sure of yourself, human... he whispered to her.
- I don't like orders, cyborg. If you want me to leave, use your strength. Otherwise promise me.
- I don't like orders either.
- So ...
But she could not finish her sentence.
With a gesture, 17 grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him. Placing his lips against hers, he kissed her again with a vigor very different from the attitude he had had a few seconds before. He held Ruri's body firmly against him, with this mixture of power and softness that made her feel incredibly safe near him. She gave herself up completely to his embrace, arching her back to better stick against him. Answering the force of his kiss, she wanted to be his equal, returning as blow for blow, moaning to the rhythm of his tongue which seemed to seek to possess her all.
Then, as abruptly as he had started, 17 stopped, leaving her completely breathless and confused about what had just happened. He placed his then forehead against hers and whispered:
- Promise, and promise.
Immediately, he felt Ruri's body relax, as if all the tension had been released. She put her head against his chest, trying to take advantage of every second they had left together. After having remained thus of long minutes, she finished however by moving back of some steps and made him a nod of head. She then did not oppose any resistance when he lifted her delicately, before leading her towards the entrance of the laboratory.
There she watched him go back, alone, into the cold, dark tunnel. Even from behind she could see that his smile had faded, and that the features of his face had tightened.
He was suffering, terribly, and Ruri didn't know why. She felt completely useless, and this feeling left a bitter taste in her mouth. When she was at her worst, 17 had been there for her. He had been able to find the words, however clumsy, to give her back the confidence and courage she was lacking. But now that it was her turn, she was unable to do the same. Another barrier, even more resistant than the one he used to deploy around him in combat, had built up over time deep inside him, making him inaccessible.
Hermetic.
Ruri understood that this invisible armor protected him as much as it held him captive. A part of him had never actually left this place, and this conclusion upset her. When she was sure that 17 had gone away, she knelt down and began to cry, overwhelmed by her helplessness.
"I love you... I love you so much... but I don't know how to help you..."
This thought did not leave her and she did not stop thinking about it during the whole trip back to their hotel and their room. Once there, Ruri collapsed on the bed that had not yet been made up. She was no longer crying, but her heart was heavy, painful, as if an inner force was pressing and twisting it in all directions. Lying down, she began to tremble in front of the coldness of this empty room, and rolled herself in the sheets. Their warmth reminded her of 17's arms, in which she loved to snuggle so much. She was soon overwhelmed by the smell, her smell, the smell of her body that had soaked into the fabric. This smell that she liked so much to feel when they were thus, skin against skin, in this bed. The memory of the hours of delights that they had spent there together, of their joint moanings, of their kisses, of their ecstasies and their caresses returned to her then with the violence of a punch which cut her the breath.
He wasn't there.
She was alone.
Sobs came back that she immediately stifled in the back of her throat, biting her lips until they hurt to not let them burst too loudly.
After what seemed like an interminable amount of time, the fatigue was such that it dried up the source of her crying, but the respite this offered was not the only gain Ruri got. She was also much calmer, able to think about what had just happened, and what she should do when 17 came back, as he had promised her.
So the young woman got up, sat on the bed and gathered her wits until she came to a firm, clear and irreversible resolution.
She could not do anything for him at this precise moment, he had to face alone the demons of his past. It was his choice, and it was her duty to respect it. But when he would come back, she would get him out of this impasse.
She was now determined to break the bars of the prison of suffering in which he had been locked for far too long.
For his part, 17 had quickly returned to the underground room.
In all these years, he had never believed that his sister was telling the truth.
Because in reality, he didn't want to believe it.
Because if that was the truth, then everything else was.
Cell had been created with cells taken from Goku and his opponents, months, years before he was captured by Gero. He had never been able to stop thinking about it since 18 had told him what her husband had discovered here. Nothing, not even Ruri and all that they had lived together since their meeting had succeeded in occulting this obsessive thought which accompanied him as soon as he left his mind unoccupied too long. This idea which had tortured him so much during more than three long years.
Everything was true.
But then ...
"Why?"
This question haunted him, every day, and at this precise moment this interrogation became an urgency, an almost vital need to understand. He put his hand on what remained of the glass wall that had sheltered Cell's embryo.
"All this time you knew. You already had this plan. When you took us away you already had it in mind to create this monster."
The horror of this truth, its cruelty, was beyond anything 17 had ever imagined about Dr. Gero. But he could no longer deny it. It was there, in front of his eyes, simple and sharp as the broken glass that had sheltered the gestation of his worst enemy.
Cell had always been there, right under his nose.
He was already there while he and his sister were locked up, tortured, reshaped, trained.
But what was the use of all those hours spent storing up information about Goku and his friends, what use could their existence be to Gero if they were not his supreme weapon, why did he praise their power, their infinite energy? Was he lying? The magnitude of this manipulation made 17 mad with rage. But it was mostly his own naivety that disgusted him, because he had believed in these words. He had let himself be convinced that he was the masterpiece, the ultimate robot, the most powerful weapon born from the ashes of the Red Ribbon Army.
But he was not. For Gero, he had never been anything more than a stage, a means.
An object.
This idea was unbearable for him. When suddenly, like a flash, the image of the box in which he had been placed during the long months of his deactivation came back to him.
What would have happened if Gero had not been forced to reactivate them? Cell would have continued to develop in secret, in ignorance of everyone, until he reached the stage where he could absorb them. And then they would both have been handed over to him, unconscious.
What if this deactivation device was really only there for that? To make them unable to defend themselves when the time came, so that they could contribute to the constitution of this "perfect being" that Cell boasted of being?
"I was just a component, I was no more than a bolt. All this ... all this was for nothing."
Every second that passed, 17's breathing became heavier. He breathed in with difficulty and breathed out loudly. His heart rate increased, his thoughts became darker and his vision blurred as his rage grew.
"You took everything from me, took everything away...for this?"
The loss of his identity, his memories, his humanity, his freedom ... 17 had managed to overcome all this, but largely because he had become something great, something powerful. He was no longer a mere human, he was invincible. Even though he had never intellectualized it that way, this certainty that he was "at least" now a warrior, the greatest of them all, had acted as a kind of narcissistic band-aid that had finally dissipated the regret of all that he had lost.
But now everything was falling apart around him.
"All this sufferings..."
Memories of the torture inflicted by Gero raced through his head. The operations. The pain. The electric shocks. The tears. The screams. He could see himself holding his sister's hand tightly as they were dissected together, their eyes looking into each other's for support.
"All that ..."
But he couldn't express it.
His throat hurt like hell. He couldn't breathe anymore.
"All for nothing ... nothing at all ..."
It was unbearable.
17 wanted to destroy everything.
He was killing Gero in his head over and over again.
He wanted to rip off his limbs, one by one, inflict the worst pain on him, hurt him as much as possible.
"If I had known..."
Guilt.
For not having seen anything.
For having believed Gero.
For having let himself be intoxicated with power.
For not running away when he could.
For having caused the absorption of his sister and the death of 16.
"This is all my fault..."
Imprisoned inside Cell, he had been the helpless witness of everything.
The monster's ruse to try to convince 18 to be absorbed.
Their escape.
His sister's eyes widened in terror when she found herself facing Cell again, with no one to protect her.
17 could not do anything and saw her finally being assimilated.
Then 16.
His last words.
His last smile.
His last wish.
"Stop...please..."
17 fell to his knees.
His entire body were painful, crushed by such suffering that he felt as if he were sinking into the ground, falling into a bottomless pit.
This pain was unlike anything he had ever experienced before.
- Please ...
His voice was weak, making a desperate plea that he knew no one would hear.
17 hated his weakness. In fact, it was himself that he hated, and since a very long time.
He suddenly had the sensation of seeing himself again, in the same posture that had been years ago. The one he had had at the beginning of his captivity when he had begged, for hours, hoping that someone would come to their rescue and free them from the clutches of Dr. Gero.
The impression of having returned to the starting point annihilated him.
Had he learned nothing?
Was he doomed to remain forever the plaything of Gero's will?
Would he never finally get his life back ?
He saw himself again, kneeling in the shower, using the sound of the shower to hide his tears, not to show 18 the extent of his distress, to try to keep a little illusion of hope that one day they would be able to get back their freedom.
Crying...
At that time, he knew how to cry. But now he had forgotten how. He couldn't do it anymore.
Then he screamed.
Alone.
He screamed with pain, anger, resentment, sorrow.
He screamed again, again, again.
Until his screams became faint, almost imperceptible complaints.
Gradually, however, his breathing became slower and the pain in his chest began to fade. Memories became more vague, blurred, before disappearing completely from his sight. The tightness diminished, eventually leaving him kneeling on the floor, drained.
The crisis had just passed, the biggest one he had ever had.
17 stood up, and looked around. He didn't know what he had expected to feel or find when he came here. At least now he had no doubts about the truth of 18's story, but in the end he still had no answers to his questions.
Because in reality, it was his discussion with Ruri that had decided him to take the step and come back to the laboratory. When she had explained to him how to face his greatest fear, the Sea Dragon, had made her feel much better, calmed down, allowing her to better accept her parent's death, he had not really understood what human "mechanism" could allow that. But he had immediately thought that it could be the same for him. That facing the truth would finally help him to put behind him this past that he was dragging behind him like a ball and chain. His disappointment was therefore as big as his expectations.
"Maybe I'm just not capable," he wondered, before letting out a long sigh.
He hesitated for a moment to pulverize what was left of the place, but the idea that one day he or 18 might need something from it dissuaded him. He had nothing to salvage there that would be of any importance to him either. So he finally decided to leave and join Ruri, as he had promised.
"If hell exists, Gero, I hope you and Cell rot there."
He took one last look at the room, then left, without looking back.
He then reached the hotel in a few minutes, but only realized when he got there that it was dark, even if he didn't feel like he had been in the basement very long.
When he entered the room, Ruri was lying on the bed, watching television. She was startled when she saw him, and both of them remained silent for a few seconds. Inwardly, 17 wanted to talk to her, but he didn't know what to say. It was a very disturbing feeling for him, especially since he could see in her eyes that she was waiting for him to explain something. She was not angry, just worried, but even if he understood it, he did not know what to do. As if the words remained blocked.
- Hi, he finally said, distressed that he had not found anything better.
But he was surprised to see that Ruri did not hold it against him. On the contrary, she smiled back at him and answered calmly:
- Hi. You're late. I didn't know if you'd want to eat so I ordered two servings at the reception and I saved you some.
- Oh. Thank you. But I'm not ...
- Hunger. I know, you hardly ever eat. But it was just in case. Would you like to watch a movie? I promise, not a romantic one like last time.
- Yeah. Okay. I'm going to take a shower and I'll join you.
- Okay.
17 complied and went into the bathroom. Once the water was turned on, he slumped against the wall and closed his eyes. The warmth of the shower usually acted like a calming balm, helping him to relax a little and release the accumulated pressure. He had used this technique often during his captivity and over the years.
But tonight, it was of no use to him. He couldn't get the feeling of failure and frustration out of his mind.
And yet he had to resolve to live like this, in this world, without being able to detach himself from this weight. He would never have an answer, he would never get revenge, he would never repair the damages he had caused, he would never bring 16 back to life...
He was so immersed in his reflection that he did not notice immediately that Ruri had followed him. He only realized it when he heard the shower door open.
Immediately, he opened his eyes.
Ruri was there, just a few centimeters away from him.
- What are you ...
Putting her hand on 17's mouth, Ruri interrupted him:
- Shhhh. Don't say anything. Otherwise I won't have the courage.
So 17 remained silent.
One by one, he saw her delicately remove each of her clothes, which slipped off at her feet without Ruri ever leaving his sight for a second.
During all this time, he let his glance go through her body, lingering on each of her curves, without understanding too much what was happening, but without doing anything to make her stop. A mixture of astonishment and curiosity prevented him from reacting to this very unusual behavior.
He was all the more perplexed as he could see from the shy smile she wore that she was not as sure of herself as she was obviously trying to make out.
He thus remained thus, without reacting, when finally Ruri stepped over the threshold of the shower to join him there.
