Alrighty then! i actually updated with actual updates... the last one was an attempt to get this up but Fanficiton screwed me over... but here it is! Can't spoil it, its not too long, just get on reading and you see the surprise ending.

Disclaimer: i do NOT own danny phantom or any characters on the show, nor do i own AXE... i even threw out my one can cuz i know it doesn't work and it stinks something fierce...


Those Ridiculous Commercials

Chapter 2: Not like normal...

Tucker, who was out of breath, had slapped down a 20-dollar bill on the counter, along with half a dozen small black cans. The elderly cashier was a bit… perplexed as she gazed down to see the array of body sprays our friendly techno-geek had placed. Tucker normally knew how to spend his money wisely, if not, he would make up an elaborate excuse.

Tucker had witnessed what Amity Park and half of the Ghost Zone would have paid hundreds to see: Danny and Sam actually showing true loving affection to each other, and of course by that, I mean ramming their tongue's down each others throat. Not the prettiest thought or sight for that matter, but apparently Sam and Danny enjoyed it.

Tucker had saw this and used all this logical thinking power his 14-year old mind could muster.

"Duh! Those stupid body sprays DO work!" Was what Tucker thought, and who knows? He could be right… but of course it could just be a coincidence. Tucker never thought in terms of coincidences though, he managed to force himself to believe the craziest things rather than believe luck.

I mean think about it, Sam has been crushing on Danny like, forever! And now, all of a sudden, after he happened to spray some of Tucker's favorite scent of Axe, Sam was all over him! Mere coincidence? I think not.

The lady at the register was very confused, getting the idea that this kid really stunk, and the teenage girl working another nearby register had a disgusted look on her face.

"Does that geek actually think that crap works? He needs a girlfriend, fast… Pity he's not going to get one using that…" She uttered underneath her breath.

Tucker was still on an adrenaline high, he had proof that this stuff works; he saw it himself. Tucker was getting impatient as the elderly lady slowly placed the cans in the plastic bag. Afterwards, she gave him the cans and turned back to the register to give him his change, only to turn around seeing him red beret nearly fall off as he ran from the store.

"That young man needs a lady-friend…fast…" she thought as Tucker tripped, fell, dropped all the contents in the bag, and scurried to get them back in as fast as he could off the sidewalk.

"Must…test…theory…" Tucker exasperatedly wheezed as he sprinted back home to get his video camera, hoping that he wasn't too late to get some decent blackmail.

He nearly burst open his front door, not even bothering to close it. He did the same thing to his bedroom door, only this time, coming close to knocking it off his hinges. He chucked the bag of black Axe cans onto his bed, which made a clanky noise, and searched through his closet and many drawers of his desk searching for his video camera.

Success! Tucker checked the battery and to see if there was a dvd in the slot… check and check. He was still in a state of emergency and wasn't thinking efficiently, he had been scurrying around looking for other important tech/misc. supplies only to remember that they were in his pockets. Tucker quickly lunged towards his bed and snatched one of cans and shoved it down into his pocket.

With all proper equipment on hand, Tucker ran out the opened front door and slammed it shut on his way out. He had gotten his supplies so quickly that his parents had barely enough time to walk out of the kitchen and see if someone had opened the door.

Lucky for Tucker, (and for purposes of this story) his house was ridiculously close to the park, where he made it there to the spot at which the whole point of the scurrying to the drug store then to his house had been for: The make out between Danny and Sam (but mostly Sam was doing all work mind you…).

He had gotten there just in time to find Sam finally getting off of Danny rolling over next to him and holding his hand, leaving a very shocked, wide-eyed, red faced halfa. The red face of course was part embarrassment, and part 3 and half minutes without proper amounts of oxygen. (I hear it's hard to breathe when you got another person's tongue down your esophagus, and even harder when you don't want it to leave.

Sam could only giggle and cuddle up into Danny as she closed her eyes and wrapped her other arm around his chest.

Tucker appeared on the scene about 30 seconds with camera in hand, to see the couple make out, but could still get proof that they loved each other, and shot a quick 7 second clip of them cuddling in the grass before Danny realized what he was doing and shot a quick ecto-blast from his finger knocking the camera away.

Tucker's hand flinched from the extreme heat of the blast. He bent over to pick up the camera only to be too slow for Danny's hand which reached it before Tucker.

"Dude! Danny give that back, I have some valuable black-ma… I mean some valuable memories on that thing… don't you too want to remember your first real kiss when you get married?" Tucker pleaded, trying to get his camera back from Danny with an indifferent look on his face, along with a raised eyebrow he shot back at Tuck showing his disbelief for his story.

"Uh… Tucker, I'm going to destroy this tape.."

"DVD…"

"…DVD because you can't just go around blackmailing your friends!" Danny told him in a scolding voice.

"Yea Tuck, that's really low, even for you." Sam replied while getting up off the ground to join Danny.

"Sorry guys, but c'mon! I mean seriously, I had to! It's like god was screaming in my face 'GO GET YOUR GOD DAMN VIDEO CAMERA FOLEY' I mean, what would you have done?"

Sam and Danny shot back another disaffected scowl with eyebrows raised, hoping to give Tucker a little hint of what their answer may be.

"Alright , alright, sorry! Geez, I don't know why you guys are so mad? You already took my camera…"

After several fun minutes of berating the techno-geek, Danny and Sam decided that they should go home and hang out, since it was starting to rain, Tucker agreed, since he knows from experience that rain plus freakishly expensive handheld technology equals a bawling Tucker cursing the heavens for taking away his baby that he poorly parented.

Tucker ran back to his house real quick to drop off all his unnecessary tech gear (he thought it was all necessary though, but was thinking efficiently and thought it would be best if he only brought his cell phone and PDA like normal). He hurried because he didn't want to leave those two alone, especially since Danny was still wearing Axe. Tucker now knows what happens when you leave a boy of Sam's dreams wearing a hormone inducing scent that makes girls go wild alone with her. He just didn't want to be called "Uncle Tuck" 9 months from now.

He was about ready to head out the door again when he remembered that little black can in his pocket. He thought to himself about why it couldn't hurt, heck might even help him out. So he gently removed the cap, and subtly postioned the nozzle towards his torso… and gently pressed the button, and just DRENCHED himself in this spray head to toe, using up half the can.

He walked out the door again, and noticed a man walking his dog, along with the dog itself choking on Tucker's scent as he crossed the threshold into the outside world.

He ran through the rain as fast as he could to get to Danny's house, where he hoped he would be just in time to prevent some insert mature content. He could only hope The rain had made Tucker rather wet… who am I kidding… rather… He was soaked to the brim… drenched in water and an obnoxious odor of Axe… fortuneatly the rain at washed most of the body spray off his clothes down to a normal serving size.

Tucker knocked on the front door, he would have burst through it like his house, but he learned to respect people's property, plus he already tried and it was locked.

A young woman with a flaming bright orange hair had been disturbed for the second time in 5 minutes; the first was a major distraction of Sam attacking Danny with her lips. Jazz would have stayed and gloated, but was too creeped out. She closed Danny's door and proceeded downstairs, to resume her reading to further learn the inner workings of the human mind.

Almost as soon as she delved into the pages of her reading, she heard sound of someone running into a door and then a mild curse. Followed by some hasty knocks on the door.

Jazz rolled her eyes as she marked her place in her book, and got up to answer the door.

To her surprise before she caught a glimpse of who was knocking, she felt a emotion that she had blocked out of her mind for so long… or actually she has felt love… never lust. Jazz perked up as she saw a drenching wet Tucker Foley, dripping all over the welcome mat that jack had made, "DIE GHOSTS DIE!" 'not very welcoming…'

Tucker walked in without permission, only to be stopped by Jazz's voice. He turned around to see Jazz nonchalantly pull out her hair band and shake her head to and fro, leaving a rainbow of red, that looked so soft and silky that you could just sleep in it.

Tucker noticed that there was something a little different about Jazz, he found out for sure when she said in an unusual seductive tone (it was unusual because this was the first time she had ever used a seductive tone) as she fingered over Tucker's shoulder.

"Now now Tucker, we can't have you walking around with all these wet clothes on, come upstairs to my room… where we can get you changed…"


A/N : WOAH! Even i didn't see that coming... wow.. i suppose underneath that "mature" exterior, there is a horny little school girl waiting to get some Tucker action... lol i just couldn't resist, just had to do some TxJ pairing.. and thought... "hey why not make it a super horny Axe situation?" so there you go... hope it was entertaining to read, maybe some chuckles or giggles, cuz if so... then my job is done here... for now..

Your Job: Review... PUH-LEASE? it truely does help me out when i get constructive criticism, inspires me to keep on going... also, imstarting to run out of ideas for where to take this, so if you guys could give me ideas for the next chapter... perhaps to continue right where i left off? Check back up on Danny and see if he hasn't been raped by a horny Sam? idk maybe i could work something in with like Paulina or junk going in a whole different direction... these were supposed to be oneshots but.. eh.. time makes fools of us all!

P.S. thx for reading!