Episode One: Rapper's Delight

Setting- Waterworks Map

Wilson- I'm MC Killa

And I'll slap you silla

or I'll be slappin' you wid my nine-em-mila

then I'll get yo dog and-

Raptor- Wilson!

Wilson- Sir?

Raptor- What the hell are you doin'?

Wilson- There's a rap battle at nine o'clock and I'm getting ready. Plus the winner gets a new car. You wanna help me practice?

Raptor- That's okay, I don't want to embarrass you. And when you get embarrassed you know, you kind of cry a lot.

Wilson- sniff No I don't.

Raptor- sigh Fine! Let's see what you got.

Wilson- Okay. clears throat You call him Master Chief but I call him Master Thief

He's killed the aliens before we even get the brief Sage walks out

If you see him tell him that I got him

Put my magnum to his head pull the trigger- sniper bullet passes his head and crouches and screams I'm sorry!

Sage walks up to Wilson Sir?

Sage points a rifle at his head Please sir! It'll never happen again! If I win I'll take you for a spin in my new car.

Sage- Really! clears throat trying to sound like Master Chief Really?

Wilson- What's wrong with your voice?

Sage- Cold. Now what did you say about that car?

Raptor- That's enough Sage, I'm sure he's already crapped himself.

Wilson- stands up Sage what the hell is your problem?

Sage- I found this armor that looked like Master Chief's in the storage closet on the third floor. So I took it to see how people would treat me. You know, since he's saved our ass so many times.

Raptor- Why didn't you get one like mine?

Sage- Because you are the reason that he has to save us. Like the time that you wanted to storm in that alien bar.

Raptor- It was because I wanted a drink!

Sage- You already had 12 drinks! You wanted to see how many aliens you could kill drunk!

Raptor- Oh yeah. How many did I kill? 20? 30?

Wilson- You passed out two feet in front of the door. Lucky.

Raptor- Then how come when I woke up I was in the jeep's turret and all of the aliens were dead? How did Master Chief save you then?

Sage- After you passed out Master Chief came with a jeep and a tank. He took out all of the aliens with the tank and then we set you in the turret so you would think that you killed them so you wouldn't cry. After that Master Chief took us to a bar and bought us a round of drinks.

Raptor- sniff You really know how to hurt a man Sage.

Wilson- Can we get back to me? My rap battle begins in 20 minutes.

Raptor- Let's go and school those fools.

Setting- Park Terminal Map

Announcer- Welcome to the weekly rap battle ya'll. This week's winner gets a brand new car! pan to the car Ya'll ready? crowd cheers Aiight. Today we have soldier and wanna be gangsta MC Killa goin' against the champ four dimes a penny, a.k.a. Fodap! DJ, spin that shit. music starts MC Killa, you start.

Wilson- I'm standin' in this place

throwin' raps in yo face

you made a big mistake

now take what you can take

you don't mess with MC Killa

'cause I'll slap you silla

or I'll be pistol whippin' you wid my nine-em-milla

and be stompin' on yo ass like the giant Godzilla

Yo mama's so old music stops

And her bloods ice cold

I-

Raptor- Aw, crap.

Fodap- Yo dawg. That just ain't cool. I'm gonna clean you good. specter cone in with the seats filled Talking about my mama means that you wanna die!

Sage- Shit! Let's go!

Wilson- What about my car!

Sage- Screw the car, I wanna live!

everyone on the specter shoots

Raptor goes on the second floor

Raptor- Ya'll better remember me saving your asses now!

throws grenade at the specter and blows up

survivors attack Raptor

Raptor grabs shotgun and runs around killing everyone but 4dap

Wilson!

Wilson- Is it safe?

Raptor- That depends. Do you wanna mess with me. Come and do what you want with Fodap.

Wilson- All right. walks up to a crouched 4dap

Stand. 4dap stands Repeat after me. This world is made...

4dap- saying in a scared voice This world...

Wilson- yelling This world is made of! Haha. This world is made of love and peace!

Sage- What the fuck are you talking about?

Raptor- Yeah. I thought you were going to, you know, hit him or something.

Wilson- Dude, I'm a lover not a fighter.

Sage- You were the one being a gangster and rapping about killing people. What about that.

Raptor- Yeah. Love and peace. We're in the army, sometimes we kill people or aliens. You should want to be like me.

Sage- Uh, sir. You haven't killed anybody yet. Remember?

Raptor- sniffing Shut up. Let's go home dirt bags.

Announcer- Hold on a minute! cocks his shotgun Who's gonna pay for all of this damage?

Yoshi comes up behind announcer with his gun to his head

Yoshi- We could pay it by letting you keep your life. Oh wait! Maybe you could be on our team. We could call you-

Wilson- What about Fodap?

Yoshi- Oh yeah. He could be on our team too. That would make us like a squad that could raid that red base and finally take that flag. Or we could just have a party and go on quests. Or maybe-

Announcer- As long as I don't die I don't care what you do.

Yoshi- All right. Hey Raptor can we keep them?

Sage- They're not freakin' dogs!

Wilson- Well I don't know about Fodap. We could use him as bait and then go in and do our business. Easy as cake!

Fodap- Hell no! I'm nobody's dog!

Wilson shoots past his head

Wilson- Sit!

Fodap crouches

Raptor- Let's get out of here before more people come out and try and kill us. And by us I mean Wilson.

Wilson- Me? Your the one that killed Fodap's gang. show bodies Your just scarred.

Raptor- No. I just had enough ass-kicking for one day.

Yoshi- Yes! We get to keep them. Now I'm so happy.

screen goes dark for credits

Sage- What did I just tell you! They're not freakin' dogs!

Fodap- Yeah!

Wilson shoots past his head

Wilson- Shut up!

Fodap whines Good boy. Now heres a treat.

Fodap- Huh?

Wilson knocks him out

Raptor- See, I knew you had it in you.

Wilson- Yeah. I showed you up B! hits him again END