What the Other Doesn't Know
Kiss X Harem
A/N: Finally finished up the freaken anime arc! It only took me a millennia to do so. I recommend rereading chapters 25, 26, and 28 as their the rest of the anime arc.
Previously on The Exciting High School Adventures of Kim Possible...
"Kim is in love with me! We're going to go on dates and hold hands and kiss, and then we'll get married and have kids and we'll have lots of sex each day!"
"As if Kim is in love you! She loves me, even though I'm too good for her. But I might...indulge in her whims and allow her to date me. After she's proven herself to me first of course!"
"Kim doesn't love either of you. She loves someone with mystery and skill...and with the same taste in underwear as me!"
"No, all of you are dumb. Clearly, Kim's heart is mine, because I'm a thief and I've stolen it!"
"...why is this happening to me?"
Currently on The Exciting High School Adventures of Kim Possible...
"Alright, listen up ladies," Bonnie announced from her position on top of a school desk. It was currently after hours and school was out, but Bonnie had called Kim, Shego, Monique and Yori into an emergency meeting. Ron had been barred from attending, not that he was around anyways, off on his own to get Drakken.
Kim now had her underwear back and could sit comfortably. Shego had indeed gotten them back for her, Yori sporting a plasma blasted hole in her ninja garbs.
"Thanks, I knew I could count on you," Kim had said earnestly, taking the proffered underwear up.
"No problem," Shego had flushed.
"Why are you blushing?"
"I'm"-hit- "not"-smack- "blushing!" -slap!-
"Okay, okay! You don't have to hit me!" Kim shouted out as she raised her arms over her head to defend herself, and Shego lowered her hand, shaking her head again.
"I don't...know...but I can't help myself from wanting to punch you whenever you touch me or do something nice for me," she admitted a bit shamefully.
"It must be the plot line trying to influence you," Kim reasoned, highly tempted to poke Shego and see if it was true. But, she didn't want anymore bruises, her usual athletic skills lacking here, and so she would take the older woman's word.
Letting her thoughts go back to the present, she had unknowingly missed some vital information. "You're doing a WHAT competition?" she managed to catch some of that, and it didn't sound promising.
"A competition for your love. Love competition!" Bonnie announced cheerily.
"Oh boy," Kim sighed out, distressed. "This can't end well."
"Don't worry, it'll only be between us five."
"Five?"
"Yes, me, Monique, Yori, Shego and Tara."
"Tara?" When had that girl gotten here?
"Hi Kim-chan," Tara waved shyly at Kim, voice meek.
"When did you get here?"
"I've always been here," she said resolutely.
"You weren't here last chapter," Kim said.
Tara blinked slowly before laughing gently, hand pressed to her lips. "You are so silly Kim-chan. I've been here all along. I know I am quiet and generally unnoticeable but I was always around."
Kim narrowed her eyes in suspicion but didn't comment more on that. She was more concerned with how there was suddenly a love competition going to happen over her.
"Any questions?" Bonnie asked.
Kim raised her hand, about to ask who had come up with this crazy idea and authorized it, when all the other girls hands went up as well.
"How many challenges will there be?" asked Monique.
"Three. Baking, dating, and talent show. The baking is to see whose cooking is best suited for Kim, for her nutrition and health is very important to us. A questionnaire on what an ideal date with Kim would be and a talent show, to impress her with our skills."
"Good, good," Monique had a pen and pad out to take down notes.
"And who will be the judge?"
"Kim of course," Bonnie rolled her eyes at Tara.
"Why no panty stealing competition?" Yori voiced.
"Because we're not perverts like you!"
"Well there should have been one," Yori huffed, crossing her arms over her chest petulantly. "And there's nothing wrong with having an appreciation for Kim's underwear."
"Can we use weapons?" Shego asked next, letting her hands flare to life.
Bonnie tapped her chin at this. "Only if someone tries to kill you."
Oh my gosh! Why would there be a need for killing in this? Kim fretted.
"Okay, done with all questions?" Bonnie asked.
"Wait, I still have one-" Kim waved her hand impatiently but was ignored.
Bonnie clapped her hands and suddenly the room was transformed into a giant kitchen like on one of those cooking shows. Kim's eyes bugged open at that but everyone around her treated it like it was normal. All the girls were wearing aprons and cute little chef hats, even Shego. Each of them were behind their own personal cooking station.
"Alright, we all have half an hour to cook our dish for Kim, so make haste!" Bonnie announced and they all threw themselves with ferocity into their work.
"Well..." Kim sighed. It looked like she was stuck like this for now until Drakken came back with his device.
She walked around and watched them cooking for lack of anything better to do. Tara seemed to be struggling with boiling water, black smoke coming from it before it straight up erupted into flames. The girl ran around panicked, looking for something to put it out with.
"Oh dear!" she cried out, her eyes in little x's from panic. She grabbed a bowl of yellow liquid and threw it at the fire, only succeeding in fanning the flames more. "That was oil! Shoot!"
"Hold on, I'll help!" Kim shot into action, grabbing the sink hose and spraying it in the direction of the flames. Once they had died down, she stopped her assault.
"Oh Kim-chan is so brave and resourceful!" Tara said, smiling shyly at Kim. She made to take a step towards Kim but slipped on the puddles of water from the hose. The teen saw this happening and stuck out a hand to balance Tara yet they still ended up colliding. Kim landed harshly on her back with Tara on top of her, face flustered and red.
"Uh...uh Kim-chan, I think we are not married yet for your hand to be there," she stammered out and Kim looked over to see her hand was on Tara's left boob, holding her up. Immediately her face flushed and she jumped up. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that!" Then she rushed off to the next station in her mortification. Why did that keep happening to her?
She decided the best course of action was to simply stay away. To let them go through with this ridiculous cooking show just so that it could be over and she could be left alone to find Drakken and have him send them to another world. This one was insane!
A buzzer noise sounded off, meaning the cooking time was over and it was now time for Kim to taste their efforts.
Ever the charming host, Bonnie began to introduce them. "First up, we have Tara's dish," she went up to the girl. "Tell us, Tara, what did you make?"
Tara showcased lavishly a plate full of black ash that had sparkle effects on it like that would make it more appealing. "I made steak and potatoes because I know Kim needs her strength to fight evil. Although it came out a little burnt," Tara flushed.
A little burnt? Try completely destroyed, Kim thought to herself. She had never seen a more sorry meal.
"Will Kim try the dish?" Bonnie held out a spoon, and not wanting to be rude, Kim took it and shoveled some of the ash into her mouth. She made a show of smiling but really her taste buds were screaming and dying on the inside. With considerable effort she swallowed it down, though it made Tara pleased she had done it, given the way she clapped her hands.
"Next up we have Shego. Shego, tell us what you cooked today."
Shego's dish looked normal if unimpressive. The black haired thief shrugged. "I don't have time to cook. So I stole a meal from somewhere."
"Aw!" a fake audience booed. Bonnie frowned. "I'm afraid that's not an option. Disqualified!" Bonnie exclaimed and moved on to the next dish. Kim was hoping for a good one, because she really wanted to wash the taste of ash from her mouth.
They got to Monique's table where she was standing, arms crossed over her chest, and two chefs behind her. Her dish even shone with an inner light. Kim really wanted to try it, her mouth watering.
"Oh no, looks like another disqualification. You can't make someone else do the cooking for you!" Bonnie said. "Disqualified!"
"It's not like I wanted to win or anything anyways," Monique threw up her nose.
"Next up, Yori. What did you make?"
"Sushi," the ninja said. "And I used a special technique where I used my blades to cut up the pieces," Yori said, referencing to the two katana's on her back.
The audience made a grossed out sound. Kim kept looking for them, but she couldn't see them anywhere. Where were they coming from?
"Those katana's have been used to dismember enemies of Yori's clan," Bonnie informed and Kim's face turned green. The sushi looked good, cut to perfection and rolled tightly, but there was no way she eating food touched by those blades.
"Hey, I washed them!" Yori protested but Kim and Bonnie had already moved on. "And this is my dish!" she announced with a wide grin as the audience cheered for her. Okay, so clearly this was rigged but Kim didn't mind as much because she really wanted to eat something to wash the ash taste away. "I made a cake."
And the cake looked good, with strawberries on top and white cream. Bonnie held out a slice for Kim who dug into it. It was surprisingly good. "So, Kim. Who won this cooking competition for your heart?"
She never would have expected to pick Bonnie, but hers was the only good one. She pointed at her with the fork and the crowd went wild. Bonnie turned to the other girls and stuck out her tongue.
"You may have won this one," Yori shook her fist, "But I shall win the next one."
"The next one?" Kim asked around a mouthful of cake. There were going to be more stupid competitions like this? Right, the dating show was next.
There was a whirl of mechanics and right before Kim's eyes the room turned into a mimicry of a dating show. In glowing letters from the ceiling hung a sign that said the Impossible Possible show.
"I'm your host Bonnie, and this is the Impossible Possible show where one lucky girl will win a date with Kim Possible. Who will it be? Who knows! First up, we have lovely Tara. Shy, withdrawn and allergic to people, you'll need hearing aids to hear her speak properly. Now, Miss Tara, I'll ask you a question. What do you think Kim's ideal date would be?"
Tara thought hard, before speaking up. Her voice was quiet and timid. "Reading books on a nice soft couch and avoiding people like the plague."
A giant X flashed on the screen. "Wrong. Next contestant," and Bonnie went down to the next girl sitting on the stool.
Kim didn't even know what her own ideal date was. How could Bonnie tell which one would be correct?
"Yori is an adventuring ninja with a strong loyalty to her Yakuza Clan and with a good taste in undergarments. Just don't cross her path if you insult her friends or loved ones because there won't be much of you left to cross. Now, Yori. Tell us Kim's ideal date."
"Underwear shopping before engaging in super mega mecha fights against the people who killed my father," Yori said, nodding her head in triumphant like she got it right.
Weren't these all dates ideas that the contestants liked and not Kim herself? She had a feeling no one would get her right.
"Wrong!" Bonnie shouted out gleefully as the X flashed over head.
There was an empty stool next to Yori, so Bonnie sat down quickly on it. It was her spot it seemed. "Our third contestant is the lovely Bonnie who is chipper and happy and very loving towards everyone. Her guess on Kim's ideal date includes bleep bleep bleep and lots of bleep bleep on top of that bleep and bananas with bleep bleep while they bleep bleep your bleep and whipped cream!" she said as Kim's eye twitched.
No, thank you.
Just nope.
All kinds of nope.
A huge X rang out for Bonnie. "Well shit," she grumbled, frowning before she shot back up to do her hosting job.
"Our fourth contestant is Monique. Known for being as stuck up as she is rich, she does not dare associate with those lower than her for fear of becoming poor. Tell us, Monique, what is Kim's ideal date?"
Monique snootily answered the question. "Well, I think a perfect date would be Kim serving me and making sure she treats me like a princess." As soon as she finished saying that, an X rang out.
"How selfish," Bonnie shook her head. "You really expect Kim to be all about you on a date that was meant for her?"
She went up to Shego who was the last contestant. "And now, Shego. What's your idea of a perfect date with Kim?"
Shego shrugged. "Maybe some cardio. Getting some good exercise in. Or bowling. Maybe a movie. And then going to Bueno Nacho for some food."
This time an X didn't go off, instead confetti dropping down on Shego. "Looks like we got a winner!" Bonnie cheered, though she didn't look happy at all. "Because you won, you get to go on a date with Kim! Just like the one you mentioned." Her hand tightened on the microphone and it looked like she really wanted to club Shego over the head with it.
Kim could feel her face flush. Wait, she and Shego had to go on a date together? She wasn't ready to do such a thing!
But before she could protest, a vehicle smashed right through the wall. On it was Drakken, Ron, and Rufus, and as the girls scrambled to get out of the way, the car swerved around to snatch up Kim and Shego, leaving a trail of chaos behind.
"Stop them! They're taking Kim away!" Shouted out Yori, doing a ninja run as she rushed after the racing car which smashed through more walls until it was outside the school. Kim and Shego held on for their lives on this bumpy ride.
"Good thing we got you before the story progressed further!" Ron said. "Drakken has just fixed the A.N.I.M.E and we need to world hop!"
"What are you talking about?" Shego asked, because once more she had been sucked into the plotline of this world. Kim was a bit more coherent and she only had to furrow her brows and think hard to realize what was going on.
"Stop!" Yori was still running after them and Shego let out a few green blasts to deter her. "I won the competition fair and square. Kim is mine to date!" she snarled out.
Ron looked wide eyed at this development. "What happened?"
"You don't even want to know," Kim shook her head.
One of the blasts took out Yori and they were able to turn around the corner and pull into a screeching halt. "Everyone, out. Quick!" Drakken urged. "We have to hop worlds before they catch up to us!" He went over to the shed they had parked by, where inside on a pedestal of mismatched objects, lay the device. He clicked some buttons and powered it on as Shego slammed the doors shut just as Yori finally showed up, ash on her face from Shego's blast. She lunged forwards with a scream and dug her blade into the wood, trying to break down the door. Not far behind her, were the other girls, apparently also having tried to chase Kim down. This was becoming a nightmare!
"Hurry!" Shego hissed at Drakken as she tried to hold the door back from all the pushing against it. It wouldn't last under all those fists. This scene reminded Kim of a zombie movie where the hungry horde was trying to eat the healthy heroes.
At last the device powered up and a blue portal emerged. Ron and Rufus jumped in first, then Kim, followed by Drakken. Shego was the last to go and she rushed towards it, the doors finally breaking down as a horde of angry girls chased after her. But they were too late. Shego jumped in and the portal closed, leaving them at a loss.
But the adventures for Kim didn't stop there. While she was glad she was no longer in a world where everyone was trying to get with her, she, Ron, Rufus, Drakken and Shego only ended up in another anime world and then another and another, as they portal hopped, desperately trying to find their home world.
They ended up in a world where every one was a shinigami and Ron was the orange haired protagonist that had a stuffed mole rat that was his friend while he swung a mighty and long blade around to destroy monsters. Shego was the one who had gifted him his powers, Kim was the air headed big breasted best friend who had a crush on him, and Drakken as usual, was out of the loop of the plot line which was great as he could pull them out.
After that world was a world where everyone was in a giant mecha, fighting against angels that came from the sky and wanted to destroy humanity. Shego and Kim were pilots and partners and Ron was their supervisor, making sure they won their battles and got the help they needed. That world took longer to get out from because they were in the middle of heated wars and Drakken couldn't get to them easily, having to navigate a torn up landscape.
They began to lose track of how many worlds they'd gotten into, but Drakken began to notice a pattern, one that he informed them of once they'd just come out a world where they were sailing the seas to find the legendary One Piece.
"So, listen up. I have analyzed the schematics of each world we have transversed into, and noticed a pattern within them," he tapped on a board with a stick where he had a bunch of numbers and formulas written out that none of them understood. "And the way to finally enter back to our world is by completing the plot of the world's story."
"But that could take forever!" Ron complained.
"Which is why this time, I've picked a world that's an OVA."
"A what?" Kim blinked.
"A world that's only two to three episodes. So, get on with it," he shooed them.
"But what kind of world is this one? And how do we solve the plot?" Shego asked, hand on hip.
"It's romantic one," Drakken explained, rolling down a sheet to cover the board on which more scribbles were on which they couldn't understand. "Which means two characters have to get together and kiss and then boom, we'll be able to get home."
A romantic one! Oh no! Shego, Ron, and Kim looked at each other, unsure what to do. At last, Shego, ever being the teaser, looked at Kim with a smirk on her face. "Pucker up, princess."
Kim flushed. "I think the love story will probably be between me and Ron," she squeaked out.
Ron blushed at this too, but he nodded his head. He would kiss Kim if it would mean saving them all. And he kind of liked her. Ever since she had kissed him a while back, he couldn't stop thinking about it.
"Not so fast," Drakken held out a hand. "It has to build up to the kiss. You need to go on dates, hold hands, etc. And only then, the kiss!"
"Why can't we just kiss and get it over with?" Kim asked.
"Because that's the plot line of the story!" Drakken exclaimed dramatically. "If we don't do it correctly than we can't escape this world and we'll forever be trapped in anime."
Kim let out a sigh. The things she did to save people. "Fine. Ron?" she looked at him. "Take me on a date."
Shego watched as the two left, leaving her only with Drakken. "Is this really the plot line of this world? Couldn't you pick one where there was fighting and stuff? We could have beat the enemy and been out quicker than this." She wouldn't admit it out loud but watching Kim and Ron go on a date was eating at her. He was clearly below her league. Why did she have to kiss him?
"I had the opportunity to enter this world and I took it. Who knows how many more we would have had to cross if we wanted to find one that fits your description."
"Whatever," Shego rolled her eyes and decided she need to go on a walk. She wasn't going to be cooped up in this small janitor closet with Drakken anymore.
"Where are you going?" he shrilled at her but she waved a hand at him. "Out. Smell ya later."
She found her feet dragging her to the spots where Kim and Ron where at. She reasoned it was because she wanted to watch and make sure they completed the mission properly but in truth she was worried. Worried that Ron and Kim would actually fall in love with each other. She watched in worry as Kim laughed at something Ron said as they went on their date from the restaurant to the movie theater than to the aquarium. Shego followed after them carefully, pretending she was reading a newspaper as a cover.
They didn't notice her and when they kissed on Kim's doorstep that night, Shego felt bitterness well upside her. She walked over to the river and sat down to kick some rocks into the water as she watched the ripples destroy the stars reflected in the water. She was surprised when Kim joined her.
"Shouldn't you be sleeping? We have school tomorrow," Shego said.
"And didn't you have homework to do, instead of following after me?" Kim shot back.
Shego flushed a green shade. "I was just looking out for you, like a friend would."
"I was okay."
They both knew Shego hadn't been doing it out of friendly reasons.
Silence filled the air around them, cicadas chirping up now and then.
"So, how was the date?" Shego asked, pulling up some blades of grass. She suddenly felt ten years younger, like a preteen student who had a middle school crush. If she had bothered to look at the image of herself in the water, she would have noticed she in fact was a middle schooler, wearing a blue and white sailor uniform. Kim by her side also had one on and her hair was plaited into a braid down her back.
"It was okay," Kim said quietly. "But I don't think I like him. Ron-kun is nice and sweet. And funny," she snorted a bit as she recalled how he had inhaled a fry and it had come shooting out his nose. "I think I like someone else," she admitted softly.
Shego stiffened at this, her young heart beating treacherously. "Who?" she asked.
"You know who," Kim squirmed, reluctant to voice her suggestion out loud.
"I don't know."
"You're really going to make me say it?" Kim asked, sighing out. A light wind ruffled her hair. She took a deep breath. "I like you, Shego."
Shego looked on at Kim with wide eyes. "Y-you mean it?"
Kim was blushing so hard her ears were red too. "Yes," softly whispered.
"I like you too," Shego admitted and Kim turned to look at her. Another breeze stirred up around them that made leaves blow past their face. Their eyes glimmered with hope and slowly they leaned in, sharing a peck on the lips.
Suddenly around them the world started whirling. The ground split apart and they fell into a void of loud noises and flickering images with yelps of shock. Drakken and Ron joined them in the swirling vortex not soon afterwards. "What's going on?" Ron asked as they fell down a long tube.
"The story was completed. Which means we're going back home!" Drakken explained over the howling wind.
"Looks like I didn't even have to kiss Kim to make it work," Ron said, Rufus shooting up a thumbs up over it.
Kim scratched the back of her neck. "Uh, right," she mumbled and then a bright light zoomed towards them and they all crashed to the ground, groaning and moaning at the rough landing.
The device landed next to them and fell apart, to the very last piece.
"For once, I'm happy my invention broke," Drakken said as he stood up. They all internally agreed that their adventures in anime were weird and not to be repeated. Additionally, Kim wanted to avoid talking about how she had had to share a kiss with Shego in order to get them out. Why had it worked with Shego and not with Ron?
"We'll be on our way then," Kim said, grabbing Ron by the arm and jerking him away, eager to get away from Shego because she didn't want to think anymore about what they had just done. Which was fine with Shego. She didn't want to think about the deeper implications of this either.
But yet, they couldn't keep avoiding this between themselves for forever. Sooner or later they had to acknowledge it, and it looked like the time would come sooner rather than later.
