Apparently (It's Not That Organized)

An Organization XIII fan fiction

By Spectra16 (I am your Optimus Prime of Music!)

A/N: I'd like everyone to know I'm sorry if there's some words missing the letter S. My keyboard decided that S wasn't important, so it might not show up if I don't press hard enough and go back to check.

I'd also like everyone to know that I write a lot of Artemis Fowl fan fiction, and that I recommend Beautiful. Smart. Entropy. And A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover if you're into Artemis Fowl/Harry Potter fandom mixes. I'd also like everyone know I like everyone in the Organization (Order) all the same and I'm not a fan girl, but if I do show interest in one, it's usually Xemnas. My friend loves Luxord, so I'm making him the father figure.

Disclaimer: I don't own KH, but I'd love to.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Two: The New Noob Arrives

Xehanort was not a very nice man. He liked to punch people a lot, he took joys in zapping people with his taser, he thought hydrochloric acid in punch was amusing, and more importantly of all, he had no feelings. That was usual for all the Organization members (and Nobodies), but Xehanort couldn't even REMEMBER having feelings. He thought feelings were a sign of weakness, like all manic depressed super villains.

In any case, when he found a good applicant for the XIVth position, he literally dragged the prepubescent computer programmer who reflected no trait of the author or shared on physical characteristic. (Considering I'm not a pimply, little piss of a boy. Hell, I'm not even male.)

"Let me go! I don't even know who you are! RAPE!" The boy yelled, whom still lived with his mother. Xehanort could barely hear the boy's cries. He was too busy listening to the new Red Hot Chili Peppers song in his head. Xehanort had liked RHCP ever since they had their first single out in stores, which was about forty years ago, and no one remembers what that song was.

The members of the organization usually had some sort of special ability or power. Xehanort's was ripping off of Darth Vader. Marluxia controlled flowers. Luxord was special because he was good with playing cards. (He also provided most of the Organization's income by gambling and stripping.) Saix sold his angsty soul for money. Occasionally, Axel gave plasma. Anyways-I'm getting off topic-, Xehanort dropped the boy in the middle of the white doom where all of the members sat, with the exception of Zexion, whom was suffering the stomach flu.

Xehanort sat in his seat. Everyone looked down from their chairs at the boy.

"Who the hell is that?" Axel spat. Xehanort, who's getting rather pissed off that I'm calling him by the wrong name, started kicking.

"This is Xerxes. I'm sure you'll all find him perfect for XIV," Xemnas (he kicked my ass!) spoke with authority now. The boy shivered.

"Where am I?" He shrieked. Larxene quirked an eyebrow.

"Is he a Nobody?" She asked. Xemnas shook his head.

"No, but we'll take his Nobody in place of him," Xemnas tapped his fingers to Dani California. Larxene gave Xemnas her unimpressed look.

"Could we at least get someone that LOOKS hot? I'm tired of these tiny, skinny little men in the Organization!" Larxene sat back in her chair with her arm crossed. Axel looked scandalized.

"Uh! What about me? What am I, chopped liver?" Axel asked. Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Yeah baby! I'm not squarky!" Saix defended himself. Xemnas rolled his eyes now. Everyone broke out into an argument about how qualified they were to love Larxene, except for Xemnas and Roxas, whom looked at each other.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Xemnas yelled, trying to contain his short temper. Roxas started crying. And everyone continued to argue!

"I'm hott! I have a giant fan base!" Marluxia complained.

"I have red hair! What's not cool about that!" Axel slammed his fists on the chair.

"I've got a sweet eye patch!" Xigbar shouted.

"I'm emo!" Saix raised his hand eagerly.

"I'm sorry! I just don't like bony guys! If I ate you, I wouldn't be full! That's how I date men!" Larxene shouted over them. Everyone sulked. Xemnas was fiercely rubbing his forehead.

"Alright, well, Xerxes will be staying with us to understand what we're about. If he's qualified enough for this job, then we'll take his Nobody, which will look considerably cooler than he does now. Dismissed!" Xemnas disappeared. Everyone went back to arguing.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Xerxes had to find a way out. He searched the walls feverishly for a hidden door to get out of the Castle That Never Was. Honestly, he'd only been looking for about an hour. And if you're fine combing the Castle TNW, it would theoretically take you 816 hours and ten minutes and forty-two seconds.

In his search for escape, he found a cat (The cat's name was Bob Dole, whom was lost as a kitten by Marluxia, but it got lost and survived on rats and tiny Heartless for it's entire life), a ripped up Sephiroth fan poster, some fuzzy hand cuff (?), and an abandoned room full of Ryan Seacrest paraphernalia. Xerxes quirked an eyebrow as he closed the door to that room and stepped away.

As he continued walking, he could've sworn he heard some drunken singing. Ignoring that fact that it sounded drunken (which is dangerous to follow the voices of drunken singing) and overjoyed by the fact that he could hear someone alive, he ran to the source. He found the door to that room after about twenty minutes and threw it open. There on the floor was Saix with a bottle of rum in hand.

"ISH XEMNAS! Closeh the choor. Ur lettin a draghtffft inshere," Saix took a big swig and continued singing something about pirates and a stairway to heaven. Saix handed Xerxes a glass and tried pouring some of the rum, but ended up pouring the liquid onto his lip. Xerxes didn't ay anything, but pretended to drink out of the glass anyways.

"Xemnask, what you say you like me in seperably," Saix swayed around and one eye was opened wider than the other. Xerxes was suddenly starting to realize this was a bad idea.

"My name I Xerxes," He corrected Saix. Saix shook his face, and Xerxes kept his eyes fixed on the cross scar on his nose. One thing that Xerxes thought that was similar to the opinions of the author was that anyone with a cross scar anywhere was a bloody poser and a drama queen. That was important to the story at all, but I should be.

"Nosh ish snot. I rike yuuuu! Rear shurd bee MOREk thhhan frens," Saix put his arm around Xerxes. Saix put his hands through Xerxes short brown hair.

"Hey! Wherrd all urrr shexy hair grooow?" Saix looked scandalized. Xerxes put the cup down and ran out of the room. He pressed his back against the door, hoping to stop this crazy man in case he were to come after him. Xerxes listened closely, and after a few tense moments, he heard Saix singing again.

"NOOOOOOOObodies knowww teh trobubble I'f sheeen!" Saix sang obnoxiously. Upon hearing this, Xerxes ran.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Abandoning the excuse to make characters OOC by the use of alcohol, we move onto the hidden lives of Vexen and Lexaeus. Considering they have a fan base of about two (adding their fans together of course), Vexen and Lexaeus spent most of their time trying to come up with ways to be better known. Vexen had a chart written out about the members and their approval numbers. He had a stick to point at statistics.

"See here, Lex. Here," He pointed, "We have Marluxia's fan base." Lex scratched his head.

"Those are just a bunch of scribbles," He said obviously. Vex slapped his stick on the board to call Lex's attention.

"AT EASE! Now, Xehanort's fan base is fairly large, but we assume that it's just the Goth chicks who like bad guys and bondage. Not to mention, Xehanort a pretty hot guy-ANYWAYS, Axel's fan base are a bunch of Axel/Roxas shippers who lust for nothing but M-preg and blood. Now, over here are the lesser bases," Vexen pointed to the corner of the paper that was barely visible from where Lexaeus was sitting, which was just a few feet away.

"Zexion, albeit he is a bit anal retentive and peckish, he does have fan girls out there who usually abandon their battle with the Axel/Roxas shippers obsessees. Are you still listening!" Vex slapped his stick down in front of Lex's desk. Vex/Lex shippers squeal.

(Author shoos them away.)

"Yes. Sorta. We go over this ever day! I'm tired! I didn't sleep well last night! I was too busy cutting out pictures of Brad and Angelina's baby and putting them in a collage that when you look at it from afar, it looks like Darth Vader! Lemme alone! I wanna go back to bed!" Lexaeus put his head down. Vex smacked him with the stick on the back of the head.

(Author shoos away Lex/Vex shippers again.)

Lexaeus stood up and covered his head, running out of his own room. While running down the hall, he ran straight into Larxene (who also wasn't paying attention I suppose) and he landed right on her.

(Author shoos away Lex/Larx shippers.)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"DEMYX! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM!" Axel pounded on the door.

"SUCK IT AXEL!" Demyx shouted back, his voice muffled by the door. Axel pounded again, shaking the feeble wooden door that almost was preventing a war.

"LEMME IN NOW!" Axel shouted with a towel in hand. Demyx was silent for a moment. Axel pressed his ear against the door. "When did you get in there?" He asked more civily. Maybe he was almost done, Axel hoped stupidly.

"I'll be out in a fucking minute! SHUT UP!"

Two hours later. . . .

"I'LL KILL YOU, MULLET BAG!" Axel cried and pounded on the door still, laying on the ground.

"JUST GIMME A BLOODY MOMENT!" Demyx's smirk wasn't apparent through the door. Axel cried louded.

"Isn't there a bathroom in the Corridor We Never Go In Because It Never Was! Why don't you go there!" Demyx asked. Axel sniffled.

"There's goblins and children down there! LET ME IN!" He wailed. Demyx opened the door, and Axel's heart lifted. Demyx's mullet was perfectly groomed. Axel threw him away from the door way and slammed himself in. Demyx put his fingers through his hair. Larxene, who was also waiting outside, but fell asleep, and was now awake again with her towel in hand, looked at Demyx.

"No one wants to see a dirty, ungroomed mullet, now do they?" Demyx smiled like a Colgate model. Larxene rubbed her eyes.

"No one wants to see a mullet. PERIOD," She laughed. Demyx stormed off to listen to Yanni in his room.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Zexion sniffled sadly. Luxord was bent over on the floor, not facing towards Zexion. (Zexion/Luxord fans squeal.) Luxord scrubbed the floor fiercely (Lux/Zex fans go all crestfallen) with a sponge. Zexion blew his nose, choking on the smell.

"I'm sorry, Luxord. I really am!" Zexion started. Luxord chuckled uneasily.

"You could've at least not eaten spaghetti today. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to eat foods like that when you're sick?" Luxord looked back at him with a sympathetic smile. Zexion grimaced.

"Luxord, can I tell you something?" Zex said meekly. Luxord shook his head. (Lux/Zex fans sit up.)

"You are my mom," Zexion hoped Luxord wouldn't be mad. Instead, Luxord sat up on the floor, perched on his knees. He shook his head.

"I know."

"You know?"

"Yeah. I'm everybody's fucking mother! I make you food, I clean your messes, I read bedtime stories to a few of them, I drive you guys to your soccer games," Luxord stopped. "Oh wait. Maybe I don't do that."

Zexion laughed a little.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Muse's album Absolution is fantastic. I recommend Apocalypse Please, Stockholm Syndrome, Hysteria (best song ever), The Small Print, and Ruled By Secrecy.

And thanks for reviewing! You know, even none criticizing reviews help just so I know that someone's reading. All too often I take them for granted.