Apparently (It's Not That Organized)

An Organization XIII fan fiction

By Spectra16 (16 for XIII!)

A/N: Hello. Oh, so we're back again? Shocking. This has to be -what- the third chapter? Wow. Hello! Creedings! Tell me how you are.

Disclaimer: I don't own Order-err. . . Organization XIII. Yeah.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Three: Food Run

Everyone sat lazily in front of the TV That Never Was. Most of them were slouching, being sucked into the couch with their flies open. Roxas was sitting on the floor, only because he was the youngest and Xemnas said "seniority" was a rule in the Organization. Xemnas coughed.

"Can somebody go on a food run?" He asked lazily. Everyone put their thumb on their forehead (except for Xerxes) and called "red dot". Then they pointed at Xerxes. This all happened in a matter of milliseconds.

"Haha! The rookie gets to go on a food run! And he can't even portal yet!" Saix laughed fakely. Xerxes pouted.

"What do you mean?" He asked naively.

"You gotta get the food from the vending machine. Usually we'd send you to the kitchen, but that's four hours away on foot. The vending machine is only two. I'd like a 100 Grand bar, please," Vexen spoke to Xerxes as if he was better than him, which is like how every talked to him. Vexen was finally glad to have someone in the castle that had a smaller fan base than him.

"I'll have a head of lettuce! Don't wanna ruin my diet," Larxene commented.

"I wanna Milky Way!" Axel shouted louder than he should've.

"Bring me some Scooby Doo gummis!" Roxas called. Xerxes quirked an eyebrow.

"You expect me to wander in search of a vending machine for TWO HOURS!" He shouted. Everyone nodded simultaneously. Xerxes shrugged.

"Fine. I'll be back in a few hours," Xerxes grumbled. Xigbar checked his watch.

"Yay! Just in time for AC360!" Xigbar smiled and decided to go forward in time to quicken his wait. No one would now that though, unless they looked at Xigbar and how zombie-like he was when he was messing with time. And even then, no one really WANTED to look at Xigbar. He was by far the most ugly out of the XIII, now fourteen.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Xerxes was not just a stereotypical Linux nerd. No, he also took to dressing up in woman's clothing and talking to himself. He dug his hands in his tight jean pockets as he walked.

"I have to walk two hour to get to the vending machine! How lame! The hell kinda evil lair is this anyway?" Xerxes spoke aloud to himself. He shook his head and turned the corner. The hallway was lit with the light of the giant can of Pepsi on the machine. Xerxes smiled widely. Not only that, but a blonde girl was pushing quarters in.

"Hi! I'm Xerxes! What's your name?" Xerxes started but then realized that the girl turned around and was hissing at him. Xerxes stepped back and the girl ran off on all fours. Assuming she wouldn't come back, he stuffed the monies into the snack machine. He quirked an eyebrow when he saw that a head of lettuce was 75 cents.

-.-.-.-.-.-

While Xerxes was gone. . .

Luxord played solitaire with Xigbar. This was the mathematical equation for death, theoretically. Luxord was a master at ALL card games. And Xigbar believed in suicide or murder if he did not win something. So either Luxord had to purposely lose, or Xigbar had to kick some serious ass. Neither of them wanted to do that.

Marluxia pulled some chap stick from his coat pocket and spread it on his lips. He pressed them together and puckered. Larxene looked at him half-heartedly.

"Hey, Lexis, turn the channel," Xemnas grunted. Lexaeus looked at him.

"My name is Lexaeus," He stated.

"Yeah, whatever."

Regardless, Lex turned the channel to Animal Planet. There were baby pandas. Suddenly, Saix got all starry eyed and clutched himself in a death lock hug. He knew he had to resist the need to squeal. And pinch someone's cheeks. Marluxia, who was sitting next to him, leaned over to look at Saix's weird face. Saix was apparently exploding inside, but Mar assumed it was because fuzzy things made Saix angry or something. Marluxia tapped Lex.

"Turn the channel. Saix is about to piss himself with rage," Marluxia whispered. Lex nodded and turned to G4. Right as the fuzzy baby pandas disappeared, Saix let out the air from his lungs in a loud way. Everyone tried not to look. Saix wiped the sweat off of his forehead. That was a close one, he thought.

Axel perked up.

There was a program on about Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories on GBA. Axel zoomed invisibly to the TV and grinned like a crazed klepto in a china shop. He clutched the TV and his giant hair prevented everyone else from seeing.

"AXEL! Get your fat head out of the way! I can't see!" Larxene screamed. Axel sat down, but his hair still blocked everyone's vision.

"The next new installation of Kingdom Hearts! Play as Sora in the epic battle of your life! E for everyone!" The TV blared. Axel drooled.

"I HAVE TO HAVE IT!" He screamed and ran to Xemnas. "XEMMY! LET ME HAVE IT PLEASE!"

"Get off me, Andy!" Xemnas pushed him away.

"My name is Axel!"

"Whatever!"

Axel ran to Luxord.

"PLEASE BUY IT FOR ME!" Axel cried and put his face in Lux's lap. Luxord grimaced.

"GET OFF ME!"

"Please!"

"No!"

"PLEASE!"

"Hells no!"

"I'll give you my soul!" Axel begged. Luxord took that last part to face value. Axel cried.

"Can we just give it to him, Xemnas?" Luxord asked.

"Lucius, we spoil him so much! He deserves punishment! Not more gifts! Remember what we got him yesterday! We bought him a Commodore 64! That was not cheap! And he was behaving badly too!" Xemnas wondered why Luxord's face was a heap of angry.

"My name is Luxord. Not Lucius! This is not a damn KH/HP crossover!" Luxord shouted angrily, having his full of KH/HP shit.

"Oh whatever! All you guy have the same names! I can never remember them all! There's all these X's and shit! Why X? Why are there X's in ALL of our names! Where the programmers just lazy or something?" Xemnas raised his hands in the air. Everyone starred at him lazily. Xemnas shook his head and went back to watching G4.

Once every one was silent, Axel looked up at Luxord again with a silly ass smirk.

"So can I have it?"

"YES! SHUT UP ALREADY!"

Axel rubbed his hands together diabolically and smirked evilly. He resisted the urge to laugh out loud.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Xerxes threw open the door and passed out on the floor. Everyone groaned.

"Could somebody get that? I'm famished!" Xemnas complained. Larxene got up angrily and grabbed the food that Xerxes had brought up. She also just left him on the floor while everyone ate. Once in a while, you'd hear a large crunch of lettuce.

"I'm starting to think Xerxes isn't as qualified to be XIV," Xemnas said reluctantly. Everyone nodded. Xemnas sighed.

"He had a cool X name though. It's a shame," Xehanort sighed. Marluxia looked over at Xerxes.

". . . . . . . shouldn't we -like- help him up, or something?" Marluxia said quietly. No one replied. Marluxia shrugged and kept watching Anderson Cooper.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Xerxes woke up in his bed, in his home, in Traverse Town. He smiled as he woke up to a new day. He threw his legs over the bed and stretched.

"What a weird dream I had. All these crack induced guys in weird/goth cloaks. What a bunch of posers," Xerxes spoke aloud. His goldfish on his nightstand said nothing. The fish just blew a bubble for the Awakening of his master. Here are the fish's thoughts;

Good morning, master! What a fine day it is! I know you will be busy on your eMachine. Honestly, I could crap a better computer than that, but whatever. You go have fun! I'll just sit here and eat pebbles and spit them out again. I cleaned my scales especially well a few moments ago for your Awakening. Oh! Don't forget to feed me! Dammit! COME BACK HERE BITCH! Shit. Oh well. Yes, go feed yourself before feeding me, you media whore.

--Bleep. Mind wiped clean.--

. . . . What was I talking about? Was I talking? OH NOES! Where's master! He's not in his bed! He must have been stolen! WHO WILL FEED ME! I'm so hungry! Am I in danger! How will I survive if I have no food! CRIPE! Oh. There he is. He must've been out on his morning piss. I wish I had somewhere to piss, instead of swimming around in it for months before master remembers to change my water. Oh yes! He's feeding me! Yay! Food. (Author cuts out the chewing noises.) I love food! Thank you master! Thank you! Remind me to bow down before your glory!

--Bleep. Mind wiped clean.--

. . . . I'm hungry.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Xemnas downed another shot of Perky Juiceā„¢. He pushed his shot over to Zexion, with rubber gloves on, poured another glass for Xemmy. He downed it again and belched. Zexion ducked under the bar and gagged. Once he was done being repulsed by Xemnas, he shot up with a friendly smile on his face. Xemnas was turned away now. Zexion sighed in relief.

Vexen mosied up to the bar and ordered a Club Sandwich.

"Um . . . Vex, you do know that this is just an alcohol stand. You can order a friggin' sandwich in the fridge," Zexion replied. Vexen looked as if he already knew that.

"Gimme a bloody alcohol sandwich than! I'm starving!" Vexen pounded one fist demandingly on the table. Zexion rolled his eyes and walked away, not caring that he had costumers. He snapped his rubber gloves off and threw them at Axel's head. They perched on his pointed red hair, and Axel never noticed. Zexion shuddered and used a portal to get to his room.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Namine was usually a nice little girl. After all, she was the Nobody of the Mary Sue known as Kairi. She usually drew cute little drawings of Sora. But today, after having watched the Ring, she drew black circles of death in a possessed-like fashion.

"Must. Kill. Everyone!" She laughed murderously in her white room with padded walls. "Muhahaha. . . . MUAHAHAHAHA! MU HA HA HA HA HA!" She coughed and hacked a little.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Wow. Shet bag. This story is so dope. I don't like this chapter so much. But I think you'll like the next. It's about the Haunted Attic That Never Was! Yays! At least I think it will be about that. Err. . . Yeah. Anyways, thank you for reading! Cheers. Drop me a line sometime. I'm a very bored girl with lots of things I should be doing.