Apparently (It's Not That Organized)
An Organization XIII fan fiction
By Spectra16 (Got plot?)
A/N: Welcome Organization Order fans! Luff abundant! This is no longer a one shot because I got plot! Who wants to see Xigbar' tattoo he got as a real person! (pulls his pants down)
Xigbar: (screams like a girl) (yanks pants up again)
A/N: For those of you who didn't see what it was-(Xig slaps Spectra's mouth shut)
Xigbar: How the HELL did you find out about that!
A/N: Mffflmmshmmmfle. Mmemmmurrmms.
Xigbar: Oh.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Chapter Four: The Attic That Never Was (And Xigbar's Ass Tattoo)
Luxord held up a candle with one hand, and grabbing Roxas' arm in the other, leading him up the stairs. Roxas gulped and clung to Luxord. Luxord grimaced as they reached the top. The area was covered in cobwebs and smelled of must. Roxas shuddered from all of the spiders.
"See Roxas? There's no beasties in the attic! Now let's go back to bed," Luxord yawned. Roxas shook his head.
"We haven't even looked yet! They could just be hiding!" Roxas tugged on Luxord's cloak. Lux groaned and walked with Roxas deeper into the attic which was basically just one big series of rooms that was the expanse of the whole Castle That Never Was.
Luxord was becoming less patient. He had a full day of work ahead of him in the morning and staying up late to satisfy Roxas' childish quirks. Luxord walked with him for a good twenty minutes when he had a strangely sadistic and evil idea.
What if I just left him here? Then he'd have to find a way back! And I'd be able to sleep. MUHAHAHAHA! That would be so evil! HUHA! . . . Then again, that's a horrible idea. After a few months of not seeing Roxas, we'd come up here looking for him and find a dead body. Hmm. . . .
Luxord (unfortunately) abandoned the idea and kept walking.
"You see now? There are no monsters," Luxord rubbed his eyes. Roxas was still dying of fright. And it definitely didn't help when Axel silently appeared behind him and tapped his shoulders and yelled "BOO!"
Roxas screamed. Luxord spun around and caught Axel by the hair before he could use the portal to escape.
"Ow Luxord! Lemme go! LET GO OF MY HAIR!" He screamed. Luxord yanked him back. Roxas burst into tears.
-.-.-.-.-
Xigbar put the receiver down and used a portal to get to Xemnas, whom was busily practicing his "evil face" in the mirror.
"Superior, DiZ called. Apparently, it's important," Xigbar spoke stoically. Xemnas turned around and started at Xigbar. He furrowed his eyebrows.
"Why is that important? The hell do I care if a ditz calls?" Xemnas asked. Xigbar stood there, starring at Xemnas. He did this for a few minutes, considering Xemnas starred back practicing his angry face.
-.-.-.-.-
Axel was trapped in a dice. He swayed back and forth, eventually falling on his face. He pouted and realized that Luxord and Roxas had walked off. Axel opened a portal and hopped over to it, going to Larxene. After about thirty minutes, he finally reached it and Larxene looked back from her room to see him.
"Ha ha!" She shrieked. "Lux turned you into a die!"
"Shut up and change me back!"
"Why can't you change yourself back?" She asked. Axel pouted.
"Because Luxord knows how to permanently keep me this way until someone ELSE changes me. He thought it'd be funnier because people would be less likely to let me go," Axel explained. Larxene giggled.
"He has a point," She said and teleported to Roxas and Luxord. Axel sat there on his side, looking around wildly.
Now would be a perfect time to search Larxene's room for her panties. Too bad I don't have arms. Axel thought. He tried to move forward but he fell on his face again.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Luxord stood up straight. He could've sworn he heard a portal open up behind him. He turned his head around and found most of the Organization standing behind him.
"The hell?"
Vexen, Lexaeus, Saix, Demyx, Marluxia, and Larxene were all standing behind him with big smiles on their faces. With the exception of Saix, who was being emo by putting his sour face on and crossing his arms. Luxord quirked an eyebrow at them all.
"What are you guys doing here?" He asked nonchalantly. Demyx smiled innocently.
"We heard you were rummaging around up here and decided to come too! Like a party!" He laughed. Luxord's lip wiggled. Larxene shot a look at Demyx.
"I distinctly remember you saying something about not wanting to come up here by yourself to look through our belonging because it was "scary"," Larxene made quote marks with her fingers. "And I also recall you saying something about looking for Xehanort's baby pictures. But whatevs."
"Do we even have baby pictures? We weren't babies, were we?" Saix spat. Larxene shrugged.
"If there's something useful I've learned during the course of my frail, pointless existence outside of Chain of Memories, it's that when Demyx has a stupid ass idea, let him ride it out and learn for himself. Seriously, trying to convince Demyx that he's a dumb ass is like trying to explain Best Buy to Ethiopians," Larxene finished. Saix looked over at her.
"You are your damn racial slurs," He muttered. She inched away from him.
"Jew."
Saix was about to pimp slap Larxene when Luxord decided this would be a good time to intervene.
"HEY! No one is slapping anyone! Larxene, that was mean. Stop saying mean things," Luxord turned from pointing at Larxene to pointing at Saix. "And you. . . No pimp slapping." His mood suddenly changed. "Are you really Jewish?"
"Yeah! Didn't I announce this during our third meeting ever!" Saix spat. Luxord thought about it.
"I think I stopped listening after the first few minute of the FIRST meeting," Luxord sighed. Demyx raised his hand gingerly.
"I think I did too," Demyx mumbled. Luxord waved his arms in the air.
"Never mind! Let's go back to searching this damn place."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Xigbar stood a few feet away from Xemnas, who was totally submersed with a fan fiction he was reading. Xigbar tried looking over his head, but couldn't see what was going on. Xemnas starred at the computer screen with his mouth wide open. Occasionally, he laughed or say some pretty strange things that Xigbar never thought would come out of Xemnas' mouth. Things like "Oh Saix" or "Oh baby yeah" or "I feel like canned fruit". Xigbar, even though he'd coughed several minutes ago, figured that Xemnas was totally oblivious to the fact that he was standing behind him. He coughed again. Xemnas did nothing. He was hardcore reading.
Xigbar figured that since DiZ was still on the phone, he'd better break Xemnas from his trance. He tapped Xemnas on the shoulder impatiently. Xemnas did nothing. Xigbar slapped him on the back of the head. Nothing. He braided Xemnas' hair. Nothing. He tried looking Xemnas' in the face, but he just moved to see the computer. Xigbar finally got so pissed off that he yanked the cord from the wall. The screen went black. Xigbar looked at Xemnas' face, which was in total shock. He turned his head slowly to see Xigbar.
"Why would you do that?" He asked quietly. Xigbar pushed the phone in front of Xemnas.
"DiZ. Wants to talk to you about the applicant for fourteen," Xigbar was relieved. Xemnas did not grab the phone though. Instead, his eyes glazed over and he went into a blind rage.
-.-.-.-.-.-
DiZ sat at his computer in the Twilight Town Mansion. With the phone to his ear, he winced as he heard someone being beaten alive with a cow femur. DiZ considered hanging up and running away, but then Xigbar started screaming like a little girl, and snapping sounds were heard. Strange thoughts of what was going on filled DiZ's head and it entertained him. Instead of hanging up, he listened to the call for however long it took for Xemnas to calm down, put the femur away, and get on the phone.
"Hello?" Xemnas asked, panting, but holding Xigbar down with one foot. He brushed his bangs back. DiZ sat up straight.
"Xehanort? This is DiZ," Ansem said. Xemnas grimaced.
"That's not my name! I'm Xemnas!" He protested. DiZ shrugged.
"Whatever. I have something important to tell you!"
"Wait a second! Is this Ansem or DiZ?" Xemnas asked, looking up at the text, seeing that it said "Ansem said".
"This is DiZ."
"But I thought you were Ansem!" Xemnas shouted. DiZ rubbed his forehead.
"I am! But ever since your Heartless stole my name, I had to come up with something Star Trek like and catchy!" DiZ complained. Xemnas was completely confused.
"Oh, you mean Ansem? Yeah, what a media whore. Honestly. And his hair! What an abomination-"
"Shut up, Xemnas. I have a candidate I'd like to be fourteen," DiZ stated. Xemnas frowned.
"Who says you have a say in this!" Xemnas asked. DiZ sighed.
"You did when you couldn't think of a good person for number III."
"Well no longer! Xerxes was perfect! He just had some . . . Flaws," Xemnas got quieter. DiZ hung up. Xemnas kept talking about his day. Xigbar was writhing in pain. The world is quiet here.
-.-.-.-.-.-
A/N: As you will notice, I'm never EVER going to bring up Mansex. Just so you know. I don't feel like being a poser.
