Wow... this was a pain.. writing about the box-ghost and lunch lady? EWW. I didn't have enough hatred towards myself to make it a full Box ghost chapter, so i made some Danny Sam fluff and stuff here too. NOTE: this is probably as far as i go concerning the box ghost and lunch box or box-lunch, whatever! i may do some desiree or ember down the road.. idk

also, in order to make the birth of Box-lunch in one chapter, i had to make some stuff up, and make things grow up sorta fast... but all will be explained in the bold part down towards the bottom. It's like a comercial break in the story...lol provided by Jack fenton... think of it as sex-ed... Ghost zone edition... with that said, enjoy

Disclaimer: I don't own danny phantom or characters or axe...

Those Ridiculous Commercials

Chapter 7:

I am Box-Lunch Beware! ( you have been warned)

"The Box-ghost demands to know why everyone is swarming around the Box-ghost!"

The box-ghost bellowed as all the ghost-zone's prettiest…and not so prettiest ghost gals, who am I kidding, they are freaking ugly as sin… the ugly ones, not Ember or Desiree, they're hot. (A/N: sorry, my POV).

In fact, most of the female ghosts that were strangely attracted to the box ghost were quite stunning. Very beautiful, and VERY deadly.

That was most of them. Others, in particularly one, was a sight that would make medusa cower in fear: the lunch lady. She was old, very out of shape, had a horrible complexion, you name it. She just wasn't good looking. Period.

And to the box-ghost's surprise the lunch lady seemed to be the most interested in him. Which was good news for him, because for the longest time, ever since he had died and put into this bizarre realm, she was the most beautiful thing in his eyes, and only his eyes.

The Box-ghost had been wondering what could have possibly made the entire ghost zone's most beautiful inhabitants interested in him. Ember was currently playing a sweet little ballad on her guitar and putting on the sweetest most seductive smile that she could.

Desiree was flipping her hair about while smiling sweetly at the Box-ghost. And Dora Mattingly (a.k.a. the blue dragon ghost) was gently massaging his shoulders.

Any normal ghost, or at least not as freaky or as stupid as the Box-ghost, would have been happy beyond belief, but since we are talking about the Box-ghost, he was too stupid to realize what was happening.

He was too distracted by the lunch-lady who was attempting to be seductive by slowly and tantalizingly bite into a large, juicy, succulent turkey leg. She was trying really hard, but it's quite difficult to be sexy when you are as monstrous as her and biting into some turkey, just making you even larger.

Somehow, the box-ghost disturbingly found this attractive, and pushed aside all the other ghost babes rubbing their hands all over his body. The pudgy ghost made his way over to the lunch lady, and started up a nonchalant conversation:

"I AM THE BOX-GHOST! BEWARE! That's some nice meat ya got there little missy." The apparition said in an attempt be seductive.

"Oh thank you deary, but I can get some other meats too, like chicken, or pork, or beef or…" The lunch lady replied, but was interrupted by the box-ghost.

"I wasn't talking about the food…" He said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Back in Amity Park, lunch had just ended, leaving hundreds of teens running down the halls to reach their next class. One pair of teens was the focus of the whole school that day, Danny and Sam.

Every guy in school was in shock and awe, and gathering wager money, as to when those two would hook up. All the girls, except the rebellious lesbians, were in shock in awe to find Sam and Danny, hand in hand. Most of which found a tinge of jealousy deep in their thoughts and emotions, well actually the lesbians were jealous of Danny so yea, ALL the girls were jealous. (A/N: I apologize if anyone of this sexual preference were offended.)

Danny and Sam were walking down the hall of Casper high, Tucker close behind.

"Dude! Sam, I still can't believe you did back there! I still can't believe you're alive!" Tucker said. "I mean did you see Paulina's nails? Razor sharp! And good gravy, Valerie, she kicked Paulina so hard she… well, she… kicked her REALLY hard."

Sam smirked at this and just wrapped her arms around Danny's, "Well, when you have such motivation…" she beamed upwards at Danny. "And when you have steel tipped, spiked combat boots, winning a fight is a piece of cake!"

"Thanks again Sam, I mean, it got real ugly back there, not just at lunch either." Danny said, which made Sam smile, reminiscing earlier events, just before lunch.

Somehow, she managed to get by Lancer's "Detention Beam", which put anyone in its path a one-way ticket to detention. After she was berated for fighting, Sam slunk away as Paulina and Val were shouted at.

After lunch, Danny's problems were severely reduced as 2 of the 3 cat-fighters had in school suspension, so basically he only had like… hmm carry the 4… uh… the rest of the female populace of the school to deal with. Luckily, none of them were as intense as miss Latino princess Paulina, or Kung-fu Queen Val… (A/N: I know I know, she's into Ju-jitsu, but kung fu queen sounds better than Ju-jitsu jerk).

So basically his problems were cut in half. He still had to deal with dozens of love notes from all the girls in his classes and that one gay guy, but we don't talk about him. A lot of "accidental" jostling in the halls too, he was clueless but after being "bumped in to" 3 dozen times from the rear, Danny could tell something was amiss, if he hadn't known from earlier.

"Oopsie! Sorry Danny," Star said in her high whiny voice, but was trying to sound sweet and melodious….no dice.

"Eh… don't worry about." Danny said a little annoyed but tried to be polite. He didn't mind getting bumped into by all the girls, but he could almost feel hands gracefully smack his ass. He would turn around, cheeks blushing, cautious face, only to find hordes of girls just giggling and wave at Danny as he walked away.

"What is up with this school? Spray a little bit of that stuff and the whole female populace here gets horny! Dang! I thought those warning labels on the can were just a joke…EEP!" Danny thought to himself but was jerked out of this thought when he felt a pinch to his backside.

Danny looked around but it was an empty hall, he turned to his left to see that Sam had a look on her face like when a kid was caught stealing a cookie from the jar. And in a sense, that was the situation.

Danny just had a perplexed look on his face and Sam just turned away, blushing.

"Danny, uh I … sorry... He he" Sam tried to say, but was a little embarrassed, in the past she would have never even thought about pinching his butt. Well, actually she dreamt about it a lot, oh how she loved his butt. (A/N: just fey, as a guy, this is sort awkward to write this… but got to please the readers)

"Way to go Manson, he probably thinks you're a pervert or something. Bad Sam, save those thoughts for nighttime… NO! Don't think those thoughts EVER! Bad, bad, Sam."

"Hey Sam, don't worry bout it. Just an accident right?" Danny said, finding his cool as he almost felt a blush coming, but stopped it just in time.

Danny and Sam, well mostly Danny had an awkward day that afternoon. Danny still getting pelted with love notes, poems, glances from all the girls and that one guy which we don't talk about.

Checking in on our pudgy Box-ghost:

Last time we checked in on the box-ghost, he was hitting on the lunch-lady… EWWW.

Things got a little hot, and the rest of the ghost-gals went to their domains, with an unsatisfied look on their face.

Official author's note: in order to keep this rated T, I will not go into even the slightest detail of what went on with the box-ghost and the lunch-lady…EWWWW.

But in order to keep this story true to its fictional foundation I will go on and describe the process of spectral birth, provided by Jack Fenton.

When a male ghost inserts his seed into the female counterpart, the energies fuse and form a mass of ectoplasm. But instead of being in a womb, the being of energy is bursts through the abdominal cavity (much like the chest bursters in the Alien series) The ghost's unnatural ability to heal allows this to be no problem.

The spectral energy quickly forms into a small child like apparition, which will grow in age and size as if it were human, stopping growth at a similar age of when humans do. Since they did not "die" they do not take the age appearance of others.

Thank you for reading this pamphlet on Spectral Birth, graciously provided by Fenton Co. and Fenton Co.'s President….'s husband: Jack Fenton.

We now bring you to your scheduled reading material.

"Oh Gertrude! What a LOVELY daughter we have birthed, we shall raise her to wreak havoc via cardboard containers!" The box-ghost screamed out in the vast emptiness of the ghost zone, making the baby cry.

"Edgar! Shame on you! You know not to yell at the baby! And besides she shall used meat products to rule humanity!" The lunch lady cried out.

Weeks later…

"I, THE BOX-GHOST! AM GOING TO TAKE OVER HUMANITY! COME BOX-LUNCH, daughter of the BOX-GHOST! And the LUNCH LADY!" The pudgy ecto-plasmic being screamed like he normally did.

"Don't you think it's too early to send her out for training deary?" The lunch lady questioned.

"I! Suppose you are right… never mind BOX-LUNCH DAUGHTER OF THE BOX-GHOST AND THE LUNCH LADY! Maybe some other day…"

"Aww, c'mon daddy, please!"

"No, THE BOX-GHOST WILL NOT ALLOW IT!"

"Fine… I, BOX-LUNCH will go back to my room to play with DOLLIE's! BEWARE!" the little girl yelled out, annoyed.

Passing by ghosts who heard everything that she had said could only mutter, "ewww."

The lunch lady only smiled at her husband's responsibility and asked herself, "couldn't she have gotten SOME of my genes?"


A/N: i feel like i should have added some more Danny sam fluff at the end to get that taste out of your mouth... sorry i apologize for making this sick and or nasty... and EWWW

but i had to do it... and if any one giggled or chukled ...or even a giggle-snort... my work is done for now. This felt really REALLY rushed, i am sorry, but i couldn't stand going intoo detail with Boxghost and lunch lady...Eww. I promise nothing but Danny and Sammy fluff for the next update, but sadly i am going to Cincinatti for Kings island until sunday... so leave me lots of supportive reviews... cuz i feel like my morale dropped when i even thought about this chapter... not fun...

Have pity... Luvs...KITHN