Elizabeth and Rodney entered the hallway where his quarters laid. What they found in front of his doors startled them. John, Ronon, Teyla, and Radek, were leaning around the doorway, waiting.

"Hey. We um, all thought we could maybe help you pack." John tried. He just wanted to be able to say goodbye to his friend. None of them knew why he was leaving though John had an idea.

"Sure why not." Rodney could see how nervous they all were. In a pique of frustration he called on his com. "Carson! Get down here with Kate and explain to these lost puppies why I'm leaving. Thank you." He went into his room. Elizabeth stood outside the door, watching as Rodney took a box out from under his bed and began neatly putting his stuff into it.

Carson and Kate rushed down. "Aye, I'll tell you all." Teyla and Radek leaned against the wall. John and Ronon stood very straight. "He has DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder. This is a mental illness that affects how a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, and/or sense of identity are connected in the brain. It is caused by severe trauma in early childhood, this trauma can be physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. What happens is that during the trauma a child learns how to dissociate him or herself from the situation. It is similar to daydreaming. It is a remarkable coping mechanism but years later when the person no longer has to separate themselves from what is happening, the brain is conditioned into this strategy. For some, different personality states are made through continued use of dissociating. The person can 'switch' from one state to another, sometimes without their own control. Sometimes by switching, parts of the person's memory is lost, as only the other identity knows what occurred."

Kate finished up with, "This illness is treatable through different forms of therapy as well as hypnosis. Hypnosis is used to have the person relive the trauma in their past. This usually helps them to reconnect to that time. Rodney's going to Earth for this treatment."

John turned to Elizabeth and they shared a look of understanding. Nothing will be the same without him. Ronon and Teyla watched, all they understood was that Rodney had some affliction of the mind and would be leaving them. Radek went in and helped Rodney pack.

When Rodney was done packing, Ronon took the box out of Rodney's hands and set it down. He grabbed Rodney to him and gave him a hug, surprising everyone in the room. Rodney hugged him back uncertainly. After he was let go, Teyla went to him and gave him the Athosian goodbye, placing their foreheads together. Then she kissed him on the cheek. Rodney looked at John, and John placed his hand out. Rodney laughed and shook John's hand. Elizabeth gave them a look and John pulled Rodney to him and gave him the manly hug, where they barely touched and gave enthusiastic pats to the back. Radek looked uncertain when it became his time. Rodney simply gave him a look that said his thanks. Radek smiled back.

Rodney still had his clothes to pack but he figured he could do that in the morning. He wanted one more night to sleep in his bed and had to beg Elizabeth to allow him to. She acquiesced and everyone left. Rodney lay down on his bed. It hit him that it was only the afternoon but he felt drained. He closed his eyes and drifted off to his mother singing him a lullaby.

That morning he rushed to pack his clothes, and lugged his suitcase and box to the control room. Why Colonel Caldwell couldn't be bothered to beam his stuff up from his room he would never know.

When he saw the man waiting, he thought he saw contempt in those eyes. That is when he lost control over himself. He felt the calm collected deadly self fight with the cruel raged filled self. Deadly won and before he could do anything, his hand was going for Caldwell's throat. The guards were too far away, and the only thing that saved Stephen Caldwell was his own instincts and training. Soon Rodney was laying flat on the ground, floating away in an empty world, barely paying attention to what was happening. Not like he cared anyways.

He drifted off and the three identities decided to switch back and forth. The nice one took over. "Please, we're sorry. Rod shouldn't have gone after you, he's just not had anything to do in awhile. Rodney keeps him held in check all the time. I know we could have been friends at one point regardless of what Francis thinks."

"This asshole could never be our friend Roddy. Look at him, he doesn't even care about us."

"Beckett, get down here. Rodney here is acting a little insane at the moment." Stephen shouted into his com.

Carson came running with a tranquilizer. He gave it to Rodney and it put him out after a minute. "What happened?" Carson asked Caldwell.

"He tried to kill me!" Caldwell attempted to get over his exasperation. "Then he started talking about himself as if there was more than one of him. If he's going to be on my ship he's going to have to be in restraints." He ordered.

Beckett merely nodded his head. They arranged him to be put in a room on the Daedalus, they put him in leather wrist and ankle restraints. Carson gave the Doctor aboard the ship directions on how much tranquilizer to give to Rodney, but only if he were to get violent again. Then Carson went back to his infirmary. The ship left on its trip back to Earth.

For eighteen days the Doctor kept Rodney drugged up against Carson's orders, instead obeying Caldwell's instructions. When they made it to Earth, Rodney was completely out of it and had no control over his being switched to Fort Logan Mental Health Institute in Colorado. When he arrived there he was incoherent and the Doctors not knowing he had been drugged prior to his being moved to the institute, gave him a strong anti-psychotic hoping to break him out of what they deemed was an episode.

It made him start hallucinating and he began talking to various people from his childhood, not always people he liked. When he started yelling at people who were dead he was once again put in restraints and watched over. Eventually the drugs left his system and he became aware of where he was at. It was night and he was no longer in restraints so he tried to sleep after he went to the bathroom adjoining his room.

In the morning someone knocked on his door shouting goals group. Rodney groggily got up and dressed in the scrubs on his desk. He did not know what had happened to his clothes. He walked out of the room into the bright bare hallway. There were several rooms in the hallway. He followed the others down into a larger room where there was cushions and a TV. In another hall he could see a window where people were standing in line in front of it. The person behind the window was giving out medication.

He walked past them and into another room where there was a large table that people were sitting around. There was a woman with a tag on her clothes sitting at the head of the table. She said 'Hi' and gestured for him to take a seat. He sat between a large man who was in a suit and a young woman who was also in scrubs, chewing on her nails. Around the table were several others, a balance between women and men. Some were in their twenties, others his age, and a couple were in their fifties.

The woman explained what goals group was to him, but he tuned her out. He used to have goals, ones that always surrounded his work. He had no work now. When it was his turn to say his goal, he thought about it and the only thing that would get him closer to Atlantis was to get out of here. "My goal is to get better." It was simple, but the woman smiled at him.

"We'll talk about how you can accomplish that in another group. You just got here but you're on the right track." With that group done it was time for breakfast. For newly arrived people the food was brought on trays into the dining area. A man in white was passing out the trays. When he called out McKay, Rodney picked up his tray. Sitting at a table he saw that there was not much in it, and the drink was orange juice. He got up to talk to the guy who brought the tray but was told he would have to take it up with the doctor. "I'm fucking allergic to citrus." Rodney was fed up. The guy told him to wait and see if no one wanted their milk and then they could switch. Rodney calmed down and nodded his thanks. He sat down and ate his pancakes. Usually he liked hospital food, but something about this place set his stomach to knots.

The next group was an activity group. He sat in his seat in shock as the woman described how they would all be standing on a long cloth trying to turn it over without stepping off. He walked out of that group. He sat in front of the TV and watched the news.

The art groups were voluntary and he was so bored he went to one. They were making Paper-Mache masks. It felt nice to get his hands wet. He made his look like his cat, taking plastic and cutting ears and gluing it to the plastic mask. After the whole thing was dry he painted it a light orange. He took the thing to his room and put it on his desk.

After that it was time for snacks, he got half a ham and cheese sandwich. The room had lots of games so he convinced one of the other men to play chess with him. Of course he beat the man pretty fast. He was a genius after all and this man was nothing like John. Suddenly he missed his team-mate. Hell he missed all of them. After the game was over he went to one of the nurses and asked him when he would be meeting his psychiatrist. Looking at the notepad the nurse said tomorrow morning.

Rodney was walking back to his room when he passed the phone. He thought that those dumbasses at the SGC probably forgot to call his sister. So he tried the last known number he had for her. When she answered, he relaxed. "Jeannie? It's me, Rodney."

"Rodney? Where are you?" She sighed, it had been forever since she had heard his voice.

"Ft. Logan Mental Health Institute." He winced as he said this.

"What? Why?" Jeannie was on guard. Please not again.

"You know how our Mom had that mental illness. Well I may have it too." Rodney leaned against the wall.

"I'm coming." Jeannie began planning what she would need for the flight.

"Thank you." He gave her the number so she could call back. They hung up. Rodney went to his room and flopped down on his bed.

He slept past dinner, but when he did wake up his tray had been saved. He ate the meatloaf and peas. Then he went back to his room and sat in his bed, staring at the wall across from him. Intellectually he knew what he was going to have to do. He was going to have to participate in the group therapy and he was going to have to explain to countless psychologists and psychiatrists about what was going on with him. If DID was really what he had, then that meant a lot of uncomfortable chatting about his childhood. He did not look forward to any of it.

Rodney lay down under his meager covers and tried to rest. He had his sister to look forward to seeing tomorrow, or maybe the next day depending on when she could get a flight. As much as he wanted to see his sister, he missed Atlantis more. She was a beautiful city and he felt wanted while there. He drifted off thinking about walking the city's halls.

He woke up early the next day and went out into the hall and picked up towels that were in a container at the front of the hall. It had toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, and powder in it. He got into the small shower and washed. When he got out he dressed in a clean pair of scrubs. Already he was tired of wearing them. Maybe Jeannie could go out and buy him some real clothes. He wore padded socks as he walked down the hall and into the TV room.

People were just sitting around. Some were getting their blood pressure checked. His name was called and he looked around. A nurse gestured to a chair, he sat down and she brought out a pole that had colorful tubes on it. It took him a second to realize she was going to take a sample of his blood. He watched as she put gloves on and readied his arms. It felt different having her to do it after all the times Carson and the other Doctors in Atlantis took his blood. Maybe it was the setting, this was not an infirmary it was just a regular drab colored room. When he got up he walked to where he had gotten breakfast last time. The trays were all piled up, and he waited.

This time he got milk and cereal. It was a change and he wondered how they made the choices for him when they knew nothing about him. It was then that the man who took care of the meals gave him a menu for the next week to fill out. He circled what he wanted and handed it back. At least he had some say in what he would eat. The only thing he really had control over.

Instead of going to goals group he had his first meeting with his psychiatrist. The older woman had him take a seat. "Why don't we start with why you're here?"

This he could answer. "My physician and psychologist diagnosed me as having Dissociative Identity Disorder."

"Based on what?" She was not even taking notes. It must already be in his folder. They were just making sure he knew what was wrong.

Rodney looked at her as if he could read her intelligence through her eyes. "Based on the fact that I have three different identities knocking around in my head. I also have sleep disorders: insomnia, night terrors, sleepwalking, I have depression, mood swings, loss of time, trances, auditory hallucinations, I'm violent, oh and I have a headache."

"That does seem to sum up nicely the symptoms of a DID patient. Now, are you willing to begin treatment for this disorder?" She looked at him without any emotion.

"Yes. I volunteered to be here didn't I?" Rodney gazed above her head. As far as he could tell he was a hundred times smarter than her.

"Okay. In that case, let's talk about these other identities. What do you call them?" She had her pen poised to write.

"I don't call them anything, but apparently they've named themselves. Rod is usually pretty calm, he can do anything. Francis seems to hate everybody including me. Roddy is too nice, likes to socialize. And then there's me, Mr. Crazy." Rodney looked down at his hands.

"We don't like to call anybody that, in here. Everyone who resides here has a mental illness, and like any illness it does not define who you are. You are still Rodney McKay and whatever that names means to you." She looked at him earnestly.

He still had trouble opening up to her, he had been on the defensive since the beginning. "Right, illness. Is there a cure?"

"Actually in this case there is. It will involve a great deal of what we like to call, 'talk therapy'. The cause of this disorder is childhood trauma, so we are going to have to work you back through your past to figure out when you started to dissociate."

"That's the problem. I just started dissociating a month ago. I never did as a child. I hardly ever day-dreamed when I was young. I was usually too busy reading books or figuring out problems." Rodney felt confused and vulnerable, he could not figure out why this was happening to him. It did not make sense that it came from his childhood. Why would it be occurring now?

"All right. Later today a psychologist is going to be talking to you." She tapped her paper.

"Great. Thanks." He walked out of the room.

The next group that he was able to make took them into another section of the facility. Rodney went with them and found a library, and there was a piano sitting there, untouched. He was drawn to it. He looked at the man that had brought them there for permission. When he got it he sat down and opened it up. His hands touched the keys tentatively. Then he thought he was with a bunch of psychos, what would they care if he was not any good. So he began playing any song that he could remember. He felt exhilarated making music again. He played the whole time people checked out books.

He went to his psychologist in the afternoon. Basically he wanted to test him on his ability to function intellectually. Rodney shot down every question by proving how much of a genius he was, spouting out formulas and explanations until the man went cross-eyed. It was kind of fun.

In the evening it was time for visitors. He did not expect Jeannie to be there so soon, but he was surprised as she rushed into the room and hugged him. "Oh Rodney. Not again. It was horrible with Mom, and Dad was such an ass about it. But I'm here, if nothing else to keep you company so you don't lose it." Jeannie kissed him on the head. Her little brother in need, how could she stay away.

They went and sat in some chairs, holding hands. They caught up with each other's lives as best they could considering his projects were all classified. He talked about the friends he had made from work. She told him about her job and the various boyfriends that kept leaving her.

Time past and then the visitors had to leave. She promised to go buy him some clothes so he could get out of the scrubs, as well as a scientific journal to keep him occupied. She left with one last hug. Then he went and ate dinner.

The days passed in routine. He would wake up and eat, go to goals group, play the piano every other day and talk to psychiatrists and psychologist about his childhood. Some days were good and he would be himself. Other times his personalities liked to take over and either yell or make friends with the other patients. He was wearing regular clothes now and he felt more human for it. The journals got him through the most boring part of the day when he had nothing to do while others watched mindless TV. In the evening he would hang with Jeannie for an hour and a half. Then there was dinner and the last group where everyone explained what they had accomplished. Later at bedtime he would talk to Mom and she would explain what it was like when she was in a similar place. He knew she was not real but it was still comforting.

There was an unexpected visit on the tenth day he was at Fort Logan Mental Health Institute. He went into a room by himself. Rodney looked up to see Major Paul Davis sitting at a table. He stood up and offered his hand. "I have good news."

Rodney shook his hand. "And what would that be?"

"The SGC just received a call from Atlantis. Apparently one of the scientists, a Will Kavanagh has been exhibiting a similar psychosis as you were. Luckily Dr. Zelenka was in the room at the time that an Ancient device set off a laser at Kavanagh's brain. The scientists have been researching into the device using the Ancient databases, and after hunting behind some hidden information found another device that is supposed to reverse the effects. They want you to return to Atlantis to make this device work." Paul was reading from a report.

"It was Ancient technology that did this to me?" Rodney sat down in a chair. "So I'm not crazy?"

"Apparently not. The Daedalus will be leaving in a couple days to ship you back to Atlantis." Paul watched the relief in Rodney's face and shoulders.

"I missed her so much." Rodney was shaking.

"Who?" Davis was puzzled.

"The city." Rodney wiped a tear off his face, suddenly embarrassed.

Later that evening when Jeannie visited, Rodney told her that the military had found someone that could help him and let him still do his job. She hugged him and made him promise to visit her sometime.

Paul Davis had the release papers filled out and that night drove Rodney to the SGC where his suitcase and box of stuff still resided.

The next day Rodney got back on the Daedalus and Caldwell was still an ass. This time Rodney was not restrained, but he had guards surrounding him all the time. Though he did have some moments when he was not himself, he refrained from beating the shit out of Caldwell.

The day he arrived back on Atlantis, he was nervous. Rodney wondered if the device would really reverse the problem or if it had gone unchecked too long. Also he was unsure he would be able to make it work. He was also anxious to see his team as well as Carson, Radek, and Elizabeth. He never realized how much he needed these people until he had to spend over a month away from them.

He was beamed into the control room. Radek was waiting for him and they went to the lab where the device was. It was a band that wrapped around the head emitting a signal that would alter brain chemistry. For three days they both worked on it and Rodney tried to ignore his mother making unhelpful suggestions.

When it was ready they decided to test it on Kavanagh first. Kavanagh was slightly annoyed but understood that his psychosis had not developed as far as Rodney's had. With a couple days of monitoring, it was determined that it was a success and that it was now Rodney's turn. In the infirmary Carson smiled encouragingly. Carson put a blood pressure cuff around his arm and Radek helped Rodney put the device on. A loud noise filled the room, and a sudden pain pierced his head. Rodney screamed and then it was done. Kavanagh had not experienced the same pain, and Carson was afraid for Rodney. Rodney slumped down and drifted into unconsciousness while his two friends watched over him.

When he awoke he felt different. There were no extra voices, and his mind felt whole. He opened his eyes and saw John's face. He smiled at him, and a grin answered him back. Teyla and Ronon were both in the room. "How do you feel?" John asked.

"One hundred percent me," Rodney was surprised to say. He had felt different for so long, it was weird to be himself.

Elizabeth walked into the room. "I'm glad to hear that." She looked contrite. "I'm sorry we did not believe you when you said that it could have been something here that changed you. Shipping you off to Earth was a mistake."

"I'm just glad to be back, and be myself." Rodney looked her in the eye. "I forgive you, you were just going with what the voodoo doctor here and Miss Shrinkalot suggested."

"Rodney, you need to realize that we were doing what we thought best." Carson tried to interject. Kate looked in from the door way. She mouthed, "I'm sorry".

Rodney huffed, but nodded. Then he looked at everyone, John was gripping his arm happily. Rodney smiled at him and the rest of his team and Radek.

"Carson, I'll forgive you if you just make sure the Daedalus doctor that kindly forgot to mention to the institute that I'd been drugged, is taken care of."

"Certainly." This was the first Carson had heard about it and he was mad.

"Now guys, can I get back to work?" Rodney asked. He had enough of sitting with nothing to do. He was looking forward to going on missions.

Elizabeth smiled, "Of course Rodney. Welcome back."

This long ago experiment had wreaked havoc on the mind of one Atlantian, but in the end Rodney McKay learned a great deal about family and friends. Never again would he take his sanity for granted.