Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy IV or any of the characters or locations. It all belongs to Square-Enix.
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I think I like you best when you're sleeping. The armour is off, so I can actually see you. Your hair, still tangled because you couldn't be bothered to brush it before going to bed, your face, serene with lips curved slightly upward, and your bare chest, rising with each soft breath you take. I love to see you so at peace, since it's such a rare sight lately. It's as though all your guilt, shame and pain are purged when you drift away into a dream.
I wonder what you're dreaming about as I lightly trace my finger down the side of your face. Love, peace, hope, or maybe a bright future? Perhaps you're dreaming of the past when everything felt right, before you had to go and bathe your hands in innocent blood. I'm not sure you realize that I would never hold that against you, but rather against the man who ordered you to do it. I don't know if I can forgive him for sticking that knife in your back. It was betrayal, no matter which way you look at it. You said it yourself, you never anticipated that the search for the crystals would get that violent.
You also said that soon, you wouldn't be able to feel remorse for your actions. I know your heart is made of sugar and gold. No matter how many bodies fall at your feet, you would continue to feel, mourn and weep for each and every one of them. I bet that if you could, you would have a proper funeral for every last fallen soul.
You twitch slightly and roll over onto your side. I withdraw my hand. You seem to be sleeping so well and I would hate to force you back to your brutal reality. In all the years I've known you, I've never seen you as stricken or disheartened as you were tonight. You'll never know how badly I just wanted to hold you and whisper in your ear, letting my words chase away your pain.
I hear the clock in the hall chime midnight and straighten my back. I'm going to have to leave you; it's getting late and I can feel my eyelids drooping. I just needed a few more moments with you before you left for Mist tomorrow. I turn toward the door and pause with my hand on the knob.
"Cecil," I whisper your name into the darkness. "I love you."
