REWIND...part 6
It wasn't one of his better weekends. When Chase came home on Friday it was to find Vanessa already plastered, so he spent most of his night taking care of her. Once she'd finally passed out he'd gone for a long run, four miles in the dark. Coming back he'd showered, watched TV then finally fallen asleep himself about one AM, after giving in and taking a sleeping pill.
When he woke up Saturday morning he felt lethargic. Vanessa was still asleep and Chase knew she'd be out for a while, so he changed into sweat clothes and headed out for another run. He hoped it would help wake him up, shaking off the side effects of the sleeping pill. Another of which was to make him feel jittery, and sometimes it felt like ants were crawling under his skin. But running made him focus, made him ache in a good way. It helped center him and when he was pushing himself as fast and as far as he could, Chase felt like he was finally in control of his life. It was a natural high, but like any rush, it didn't last. He was comforted by the fact that he could find it any time he needed it. That it would be waiting for him.
Even though he was a bit achy and tired when he got back from his run, Chase also felt somewhat euphoric, so he was humming to himself as he entered the house and headed for the stairs. He froze when he heard Vanessa call out his name. She was at the top of the stairs, hair caught up in a messy pony tail, body barely covered in a silky dressing gown and her eyes were glazed and glaring at him as she descended towards him, step by shaky step.
"Where the hell have you been?" she snarled at him.
"I went for a run," Chase replied, and he was a bit surprised by her anger.
Vanessa sped up, almost running down the stairs only to stumble and trip and she was falling without warning, a scream wrenched from her as she tumbled towards the bottom.
Chase moved to catch her before she hit bottom, feeling the way she was shaking and then she was crying out in pain. "Let me look at you," he said, shifting her a bit so he could give her a quick once over. She was gripping her left ankle. "I need to see it," Chase said softly, trying to move her hands out of the way. He could already see that it was swelling. Then he was gripping it firmly and moving it and he knew it was a bad sprain, but he still wanted to get it x-rayed. "We need to get you to the hospital."
"NO!" Vanessa was clinging to him now, desperation winning out over her obvious pain as she raised her tear-stained face to meet his concerned gaze. "I don't want to go. You're a doctor, beautiful. You take care of me."
"You need an x-ray, luv," Chase replied, cupping her face in one hand. "We'll get you dressed then go."
Vanessa was still shaking her head, even as Chase lifted her into his arms. "I won't go to your place, I want to call Adam. He'll meet us at StoneWell general."
Chase knew she was right, that Adam would meet them because he and Vanessa were long time friends, but he still hesitated. "StoneWell is over an hour from here. Princeton is much closer."
"I'm not going there!" Vanessa snapped, then she buried her face in his shoulder, choking back tears. "Please, Robbie. Call Adam for me."
"Fine, I'll call him," Chase agreed. He knew how stubborn Vanessa could be and he also knew that she wanted to go to StoneWell because she didn't want anyone where he worked to see her in her current condition and a part of him was in agreement with her. With his luck, House would be at work today and he'd have something to say about it and Chase didn't want to deal with him. So he took Vanessa upstairs and laid her on the bed, then he called Adam and arranged to meet him at StoneWell.
Vanessa was sobbing quietly. "I need something to take the edge off the pain, beautiful," she beseeched him.
Chase was already in the bathroom, returning with some Tylenol. "Take this, it will help," he told her, ignoring the glare she sent at him. He wasn't going to give her a bottle of vodka, which was what she wanted. "You can't take anything else," he said firmly. "Not if you want pain meds later." Which was what pushed her to give in and take the aspirin. Once it was down, Chase set about getting her dressed. His next step in the plan was to get her an ice pack for the trip to the hospital, but Vanessa had other ideas.
"You'd better shower first, Robbie," she told him. "You're wet and you reek. I won't be seen with you like that."
"I can shower later," he replied, his first concern being for her injury.
Vanessa shook her head at him. "Go shower, I'll be fine." She waved her hand at him with the airiness of a monarch.
Chase caved, as they both knew he would. "Let me get you an ice pack first," he said, running out the door. He was back soon and he settled the pack on her ankle, which he had already elevated on two pillows. "I won't be long," he told her, before dashing into the bathroom. He showered fast, washing his hair in record time and then he was out and toweling dry and pulling on jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. He stuffed his feet into socks and sneakers, combed his fingers through his hair and figured he had a few more seconds so he brushed his teeth. Then he was back by Vanessa's side, checking on her ankle. "How are you doing?" he asked, feeling her flinch at his touch. He could see how much she was hurting by how pale she was.
"I've been better," Vanessa allowed. "I called to have the car brought around. I want Michael to drive us so you can sit with me."
"Sounds like a plan," Chase replied, even as he moved to lift her in his arms again. As he left the room and made his way down the stairs, he called to the housekeeper to bring another ice pack. He got Vanessa settled in the back seat of the car with her leg on his lap, cushioned by a pillow. He applied the new ice pack and told Michael to head out.
It was a long drive and Chase had a whopper of a headache by the time they got there. It really was just over an hour there, but Vanessa was hurting and whiny and angry and Chase did his best to comfort her when she wasn't really in the mood to be comforted. When they reached the entrance to StoneWell, he felt a sense of relief. Adam, Dr. Stewart, must have alerted someone to watch for their arrival because a nurse came out, straight away, with a wheelchair.
Chase got Vanessa settled in it, then followed them inside. He told Michael to head off and get some breakfast and he would call him by cell phone when he was needed. Once inside they were met by Dr. Adam Stewart. He greeted Vanessa, shook Chase's hand, then focused on his patient.
After a quick exam, Adam sent Vanessa off to x-ray, at which point he guided Chase down the hallway and into an elevator. He had procured a private room for Vanessa and figured they could wait there for her return. "So how did she get hurt?" he asked, as they watched the numbers on the wall flash from floor to floor.
"Took a tumble down the stairs," Chase replied.
"She's drunk." Adam didn't mince words.
Chase shrugged. "Hung over more than anything right now."
Adam didn't say anything for a time, then he asked, "How has she been lately?"
"She has her good and her bad days," Chase replied. He was reluctant to say more. He knew that Adam cared about Vanessa. They had been friends for over twenty years and he had seen her at her best and her worst. Since meeting Vanessa, Chase had seen Adam half a dozen times. He had taken an interest in their relationship, telling Chase the first time he met him that he thought he was good for Vanessa, but to watch out for himself because she could mess him up if he wasn't careful. Chase had been rather pissed by that, but hadn't let it show. He'd been more pissed to learn that Adam had known his father. Condolences on his death had been met with chilly politeness, but Adam had let that slide. Chase realized he was grateful to the man for being such a good friend to Vanessa, and for trying to offer friendship to him as well. But it wasn't in Chase's nature to trust people, and he didn't know Adam well enough to want to form a friendship.
"How have you been, Robert?" Adam prompted. "You're looking a bit worn out."
Anger flared inside of Chase but he tamped it down and coolly replied, "I'm good. Are you going to keep her here?"
Adam seemed to realize he had crossed some invisible line, so he returned to physician mode. "I'd like to keep her for a day or two. She's dehydrated, which I'm sure you noticed, so I'd like to pump her full of fluids and flush her out at the same time." At Chase's nod he continued, "And she needs to dry out. It won't be the first time."
"I'm staying with her," Chase stated flatly, so they'd both know what to expect.
"I figured you would so I had a bed brought in for you." As Adam spoke they reached the room and he ushered Chase inside. Sure enough, there was an extra bed in the corner. "It's going to be about an hour before she's brought here, do you want to hang out and wait or wander around a bit?"
Chase considered then realized he was feeling too antsy to sit still. "I'll take a walk," he replied. "Check out your hospital."
Adam grinned and fished a visitor badge out of his pocket. "Wear this and you can go wherever you like, just mention my name if anyone tries to stop you. And given the fact you look like a college student, they might."
"Thanks." Chase accepted the badge and clipped it to the neckline of his t-shirt. "I have my pager." He gave Adam the number. "Can you ring me when you're on your way with Vanessa? I want to be here for her."
"I'll do that," Adam promised. "I'll chat with you when I get the x-ray results." And with that he waved and was out the door.
Chase soon followed, strolling through the hospital corridors. The place was much smaller than PPTH and had a cozy feeling to it. Chase thought he preferred the sterile austerity of his own hospital better. But he rather enjoyed making the rounds and chatting with staff members, most of whom knew who Vanessa was. They seemed to know who he was to her as well and that made Chase feel a bit uncomfortable, even though everyone was extremely pleasant, although a few looked at him with a sympathetic gaze that made him feel angry again.
Just over an hour passed until he was paged, and he hurried back to the room, getting there just as Vanessa was being wheeled in. He greeted her with a smile, which faded when he noticed how pale and groggy she was. Chase kicked into doctor mode and studied the IV bags that were attached to her. Just fluids as Adam had mentioned. A quick check of her pupils and Chase realized she had been given meds. "What did you give her?" he asked the nurse. Then he nodded as she rattled off the list of things. He knew that Vanessa would be pretty much out of it for the next eight to ten hours. The rest would do her good.
Stepping out of the way, Chase let the staff do their job and get Vanessa settled into her bed. Then he moved to sit on the edge of it, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips to brush a kiss against her pale skin.
"Robbie?" she whispered, blinking hard as if to bring him into focus.
"I'm right here," he assured her, squeezing her hand.
Vanessa rolled her head against the pillows. "Tired." she whispered.
Chase brushed a lock of hair off her forehead. "Go to sleep."
"Don't leave me," she begged.
"Never," he promised, and he meant it. He wouldn't leave her. He couldn't. She needed him. And in some strange way he could not define, he knew he needed her as well. "Sleep," he breathed, leaning in to press a kiss to her temple. "I'll keep watch over you." He watched her eyes drift closed and listened for her breathing to change. After a few minutes Chase got up, smoothing her blankets then moving to stare out the window. He wished he had a crossword to work on and he decided to ask the nurse if anyone had a paper he could have. They always had crosswords.
On his way out he ran into Adam who updated him on Vanessa's condition. He was more concerned with her blood alcohol levels than her ankle. The ankle was a bad sprain which only time could heal, but they both knew her drinking was a different matter. Chase wasn't going to get into a discussion about it though. He couldn't make Vanessa stop drinking. He had learned that lesson with his mother. All he could do was take care of her, and he would do that. Thanking Adam for his concerns, Chase stepped past him and cornered a nurse. She gave him a paper and a pencil and he returned to Vanessa's room, settling into the chair by her bed.
Two hours later Chase was surprised when another nurse brought him a lunch tray. He thanked her for it, ignoring it for the moment to check on Vanessa. She was still sound asleep. He watched the nurse change out one of her IV bags, then they were alone again. Chase checked the tray and opted for the coffee only. He felt too wound up to eat anything.
The rest of the day passed slowly. Chase paced the hallways at times, between reading through the paper cover to cover. An aide found him a puzzle book and he whiled away a few hours with that. Vanessa woke up briefly, managed to drink some soup, then slept again until the pain got too intense. She vomited the soup but managed to keep some toast down, then she was begging for Chase to get her something to drink. Adam came in just then and asked Chase to step out for a bit while he examined his patient. He almost argued the point but decided to let it go. He wasn't sure he felt up to handling Vanessa at this moment.
Chase had bypassed feeling anxious hours ago. He felt jittery and tense and he wished he could go for a run. He thought maybe he could slip out for a little one after Vanessa went back to sleep. He knew Adam would give her something stronger for the pain so she'd sleep the night through. Something that would also help ease her through her cravings.
"Robert?"
It took him a moment to realize Adam was talking to him. Chase stopped pacing and turned to face the other man. "Did you give her something for the pain?" he asked.
Adam nodded. "She'll sleep the night through."
"Good, she needs the rest," Chase replied. He watched Adam's face go blurry and blinked hard. Chase didn't realize he had zoned out until he came back to awareness, finding himself lying on the extra bed with his legs elevated by pillows. He sat up, pushing away the hand that was pressed to his chest trying to ease him back. Kicking the pillows onto the floor, Chase swung his legs over the side and sat up.
"Drink this." Adam was holding out a glass of orange juice, and his expression was grim.
Chase had to focus on keeping his hand from shaking as he accepted the glass and took a sip. It roiled on his stomach, settling uneasily. But he made himself take another sip. He was not happy at the realization that he had passed out in the hallway.
Adam was watching him closely. "When did you eat last?"
"I forget," Chase replied. "It's been a busy day."
"The nurse said you didn't touch the lunch she brought and that you told her you weren't hungry for dinner," Adam countered. "You have to eat, Robert."
Chase flinched at the sound of his name. He was so used to being just Chase. Too many years with House had done that to him. "Forgive me for being more concerned about Vanessa than food," he shot back, keeping his tone neutral and fighting against the anger that flared within him.
Adam didn't react with anything but concern. "I have gator aid and soup here," he said, pointing to the items on the side table. "Drink both of them and I'll check on you later."
"I'm not your patient," Chase reminded him.
"You are while you're in my hospital," Adam replied. He moved to the table and grabbed the mug of soup, bringing it over and holding it out to Chase. "Drink it."
Chase accepted the mug, knowing it was the fastest way to get Adam out of the room. He faked taking a sip, just letting the soup touch his lips, but made a show of swallowing. "Happy now?" he asked with a straight face.
Adam looked anything but, still he nodded then moved to check on Vanessa before heading for the door. "Get some sleep, Robert," he said kindly.
"I will," Chase replied, letting go of his anger because the man had done nothing to deserve it. But as soon as Adam was gone, Chase was in the bathroom dumping the soup down the toilet. He then splashed cold water on his face and returned to Vanessa's side. He did drink the gator aid and it helped settle his stomach a bit. After a time he did curl up on the bed to doze a bit, always waking up when the nurses came in to check on Vanessa. It irritated him a bit that they always checked on him as well, one going so far as to check out the soup mug and take his pulse until he shook her off.
It was a long night and Chase felt jittery by the time dawn brightened the room. He would have given anything to be able to go for a run, but he settled for walk outside for a few minutes. Last night he had called Michael, sending him home to pack a bag for him since he would be staying with Vanessa. He wished he'd thought to have him add some sweat clothes, but he knew he couldn't slip away for that long anyway.
Returning to the room, Chase watched Vanessa come awake feeling sick and angry and in pain. The next two hours weren't good ones. The nurse wouldn't give her anything for the pain until Adam came to check on her. By the time the doctor appeared, Vanessa was in a state. Chase did what he could to calm her, using distraction to focus her attention on him then soothing her in the ways that he could. But she was still upset when she spotted Adam in the doorway, watching them.
She practically screamed at him as he examined her, then she dissolved into tears. Chase held her through them, whispering to her until the pain medication that Adam finally injected into her IV took effect. Then he eased away, stretching a bit to get the cramps out of his back.
"Robert, can we talk a bit?" Adam asked, from where he stood in the doorway, watching again.
"Of course." Chase figured it was about Vanessa's condition.
Adam guided him into the hallway. "Let's grab some breakfast while we talk," he suggested.
Chase thought about refusing but he figured it would only earn him a lecture so he followed Adam into the elevator and down to the cafeteria. He grabbed an orange juice and a muffin, noticing that Adam picked the same before they sat down at a corner table.
"You're really good with her," Adam said, opening up the conversation. "You handle her well."
"She's not a horse," Chase protested, as he picked at his muffin. He wasn't the least bit hungry but he knew Adam was watching him so he took a bite.
Adam wasn't smiling, in fact he looked rather grim. "You know your way around alcoholics." It was a statement, not a question.
Chase felt the bit of muffin he'd just swallowed settle into the pit of his stomach like stone. He locked eyes with Adam and told him what he wanted to know. They weren't friends or colleagues and there was no one for the guy to tell, so Chase would share this one thing with him, "My mum drank herself to death."
"I'm sorry," Adam said softly, looking both startled and remorseful.
"Not your fault and it was a long time ago," Chase replied. "So, when do you think I can take Vanessa home?" He wanted out of this place and back to what was familiar and comforting.
Adam considered. "Maybe late this afternoon. We'll see how she is when she wakes up again. She'd probably feel better at home and I know you can take care of her."
Chase nodded. "I think she'd prefer it."
"Now that's settled, eat," Adam ordered, pointing to Chase's muffin. "You don't want to pass out again."
A sharp retort was on the tip of Chase's tongue but he was saved a reply when Adam's pager went off. The older man excused himself and Chase watched him go. The moment he was out of sight, Chase got up and dumped his muffin in the trash, then he returned to the room and stayed with Vanessa. The day passed slowly and when she woke up she was calmer. Still in pain but she had her wits about her and she wanted to go home. Chase was all for that. He had showered after breakfast and had Michael hanging out in the hopes that they could go back. So he hunted down Adam, got him to check Vanessa over then sign her out. Chase thanked him, as did Vanessa, then he wheeled her out, got her settled in the car and was relieved to be on the road heading home.
Once there he got Vanessa settled in bed, gave her a pain pill and she was out in no time. Chase stripped off his jeans, pulled on sweat pants and went for a run. He felt calm and in control when he got back. He checked on Vanessa and she was still sleeping soundly, then he showered, took a sleeping pill and crawled into bed beside her.
He dreamed about his mother but for once she was laughing and happy in his dreams and Chase came awake realizing he hadn't dreamed about his mother being happy in over fifteen years. He glanced at the clock and it was barely dawn but he felt jittery so he pulled on sweats and went for another run. A short one. He had to go to work today. Once he was back he showered, dressed, drank a glass of orange juice and downed a power bar. Then he checked on Vanessa. She woke up when he touched her face.
"You're all dressed for work," she mumbled.
"It's Monday, I have to go back to work," he told her. "But I made arrangements yesterday for an aide to come stay with you so you'll be well taken care of."
Vanessa didn't look happy, but she didn't argue with him either. "Don't work late today," she beseeched him.
Chase kissed her cheek. "I'll try, but you know it doesn't work that way. Do you need a pill now or can you wait?"
"I need one," Vanessa replied. She watched him get it for her then accepted the tablet and a glass of water. She downed it, handed the glass back then reached for his hand. "I wish you could stay with me."
"So do I," Chase replied, hoping she couldn't read the lie. He wanted to go to work and bury himself in a case. He wanted that particular oblivion if only for a little while. He brushed a kiss to her cheek then was off the bed and out the door. He never looked back.
Walking into work felt good. He was the first one there and he made coffee and was working on a crossword when House came it. It surprised Chase a bit that he was early, but he said nothing, just quirking a brow at his boss. House limped over to fix himself some coffee, then he came to the table and sat down.
"Have a good weekend?" House asked, keeping his tone too casual.
"It was fine. Yours?" Chase replied, knowing that House was on a fishing expedition. But he would give up nothing. His personal life was none of House's damn business. He didn't look up from his crossword as he spoke, but he could feel House watching him.
Thumping his cane on the floor, House said, "I was rather bored. Just sat around and watched TV. What did you do?"
Chase shrugged. "Nothing much."
"So...you and Vanessa plan on getting married someday?"
"Hadn't really thought about it." Chase felt a bit uncomfortable now because he really hadn't thought about it. Neither had Vanessa. They had rather mutually agreed not to talk about it.
House looked amused. "Tsk tsk, good Catholic boys shouldn't be living in sin."
Chase didn't take the bait House was dangling. "I don't suppose they should," he allowed. Because he knew he hadn't been a good Catholic boy in a long time. If ever. It was a touchy subject for him and they both knew it so Chase wanted to divert House's attention elsewhere. "Need me to do any clinic hours for you?" he countered.
"You're offering?" House replied, looking surprised.
"Something to do," Chase said, before gnawing on the tip of his pen. One of these days though, he was going to learn to do crosswords with a pencil. Much easier to fix his mistakes that way.
House chuckled softly. "You just don't want to talk about religious stuff. Nice try at distracting me though. A for effort. But I'm not that easy to distract."
Chase knew that better than anyone, because House had all too often become focused on him with an intensity that made Chase feel like a bug pinned under a microscope. "Can I ask you a question?" he countered, hoping that what he was about to say would shock House into leaving him alone.
"Seems only fair," House allowed, gazing at him with a hint of suspicion mingled with curiosity.
"You ever think about marrying Stacy?" Chase blurted out, and he felt almost guilty when House flinched back as if struck. Almost. Because House had interfered in other people's lives, invading their privacy in a way that suggested he felt they didn't have a right to it, so Chase believed he had a right to do this now. To be personal like this in an attempt to protect himself.
Rising from his chair, House limped over to the coffee pot for a refill. "Let me guess," he drawled. "You and Stacy chatted about me during the time she was representing you?"
Chase watched House now, realizing he'd hit a nerve and not all that willing to poke at it. "Not really," he replied. "Mostly she would just mention how irritating you were then she'd be pissy at me because of it."
"Very clever of you then," House conceded, eyeing Chase from his spot at the counter. "Distract me from prodding at you by blindsiding me."
"Seems to work for everyone else," Chase allowed, returning his eyes to his crossword puzzle. He didn't want to think about when he had been blindsided by his father.
House looked ready to say more but Cameron chose this moment to bustle into the room, waving a file.
"We have a case!" she announced.
"About time," House muttered, moving forward to snatch it from her hand. He glanced over it then moved to the whiteboard and started writing. Before he had the symptoms down, Foreman had appeared. "Glad you could join us," House mocked him.
Foreman glared at his boss. "I'm right on time," he shot back.
House glanced at his watch. "Three seconds late," he countered, then he pointed to the board. "Let's get to work, people. I don't pay you to sit around and be bored."
With that they started tossing off possible diagnosis. Chase felt himself focusing on the patient's history, after retrieving the file. He felt intensely driven at the moment, maybe needing to prove something to himself and in the end he was the one who suggested it was something bacterial, supporting his theory with various scenarios and possibilities and in the end House sent them off to do testing. No doubt just to prove him wrong, but Chase didn't care. And as he went to trail his colleagues out the door, House called over his shoulder to him,
"Good work today, Dr. Chase."
Since his father was dead, Chase knew House meant him and it gave him pause for a moment. He stood in the doorway and felt oddly pleased, not wanting to let suspicion cloud the moment. Not wanting to ruin it either so he stepped out quickly, not allowing House a chance to take it back. At least not at this moment. A smile curved his mouth as Chase went off to meet with the patient. And when it turned out at the end of the day that he had been right about the diagnosis, not that there weren't the usual complications along the way, he still felt satisfied and he was still smiling when he headed out the door before midnight.
When Chase got home the aide was gone. He was a bit upset because he had arranged for her to be replaced if he worked late, but Vanessa told him she had sent the new girl home. "How are you feeling?" he asked, moving to check on her ankle. The swelling was much better but it was a bit black and blue now.
"I'm better now that you're home," she replied, drawing him up to her then down for a kiss. "I haven't had a drink all day, beautiful," Vanessa whispered against his mouth. "Aren't you proud of me?"
"Very," Chase replied, knowing it was what she needed to hear. He knew she wasn't drinking because no one would bring her the bottle and that she was wise enough to know she couldn't drink with her pain meds, but he was all for positive reinforcement.
Vanessa's fingers were busy unbuttoning his shirt. "I'm lonely, Robbie. Distract me," she beseeched him.
He was willing to do that, if only for his own distraction. He didn't want to think about bad things, negative things, he wanted to wallow in how good he felt at this moment, wrapping himself up in positive things. So he helped her strip off his shirt and tie and then he stripped off the rest of his clothes before helping her out of hers. Being careful of her ankle, Chase kissed his way down Vanessa's body, bringing her to orgasm before slipping inside her and finding his own completion. In the aftermath he held her and let himself believe that his life could be this way. The closest thing to perfect he'd ever known.
But it couldn't last, and within half an hour of dozing off he dreamed about his mother and the vivid memory of her death sent him into the bathroom, retching. He was trembling and felt achy when he was done. He brushed his teeth then pulled on sweat clothes and headed out the door. He ran until his legs and his lungs burned, then he stepped into the shower and scrubbed his skin until it was raw.
He wondered why he didn't feel clean as he asked God for forgiveness for his sins.
THE END...of part 6