This is just a oneshot piece I thought up while pondering my favorite pairing of the series, Ed and Winry. I honestly can't see them ever actually having a romantic relationship, and this little snippet is just one reason that I thought could feasibly happen as to why.
I'm not an expert on the series, and have only seen the anime rather than read the manga as well. Whether this little snapshot could actually occur at some point in time is questionable, though I suppose it could have always happened waaaaaay back when they first visited Resembool again with Major Armstrong. Just a theory, since I haven't cared to take the time to fit it in anywhere chronologically.
I'd like to work on a legitimate FMA piece once I finish some of my others, so this might well crop up again then. For now, this is all of it. Enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa, I do believe.
"Equivalent Exchange, Winry."
Had he really said that to her? Had that been his reason for turning away and rejecting her?
The clock she'd been tinkering with suddenly crumbled under the pressure she was exerting, jarring her from her angry reverie with the clatter of screws and bolts and pieces crashing to the floor. "Damn it!"
She'd taken apart and put together the same device for the last three hours, ever since Ed stormed out of the house leaving her behind. It was supposed to be calming, but it only made her more aggravated. Pinako stood by and watched, disapproving, but silent.
Now, as she dropped to the floor to collect the pieces, it was a familiar pair of armored gloves that handed her what she needed.
"Winry, don't blame Edward, please."
"What! I can blame him all I want, he's the one who tried to hide behind those laws of yours to get out of facing me!" Everyone had to dodge the wrench that flew with that statement.
"He's scared, that's all."
It was even more despicable of Ed to try and get Al to do his clean-up for him. And the look on Winry's face, which had the stormiest scowl anyone had ever seen on it, proved she wasn't in the mood to hear reason.
"I don't care how scared you are, you don't tell a girl who loves you about some stupid law to that stupid alchemy he cares so much about. That's…it's…" The pieces Al was still half-offering toward her went flying when she smacked his hand away. "It's not even human!"
Pinako almost dropped her pipe at that.
The moment it was out of her mouth, Winry knew it was uncalled for. Knew it had gone too far. She was talking to Al. He hadn't hurt her, and yet her words would hurt him.
"I'm sorry, Al. I didn't mean that." Her fingers clenched into a fist around a screwdriver. Let it feel her wrath for a moment, and let the table she leaned over to hide her face feel her tears.
But still, he kept on. "Winry, Ed does love you. He's just afraid of loving you too much."
Too much… Was there such a thing? Probably according to his rules there was. The scrape of the driver head against the wood is what cued her grandmother to step in.
"Listen to what the boy has to say before you redecorate the furniture."
With a defeated and frustrated sigh the tool spun free across the surface, both palms splayed against it instead. If Al expected an invitation to speak, he would have to wait forever, but right now, he was given opportunity, at least.
"We decided we'd never try to bring Mom back. We'd just find the philosopher's stone to get my body back, and I'd get Ed's back to normal for him, too. But he's afraid of loving people, even you, Winry, because he thinks if something ever happened to you, if you ever got hurt or…or died, then he'd want to try human transmutation again. That's why he won't let himself admit it. He doesn't want you to suffer like us."
A heavy breath met the revelation, almost a gasp except it was full of her tears. He thought he was protecting her by casting her aside? That selfish, insolent…
"Go find Ed, Al."
"But, Winry—"
"Leave me alone!" It's what Ed wanted anyway.
Pinako must have given her silent agreement that Al comply, for within moments the clunking steps signaled his exit and the door latching behind them both meant she was completely and utterly alone.
She hated her tears, hated that these boys could always make her cry. That's what caring for someone did. It hurt. She was already suffering and she didn't want protection from it. She'd come to terms with her feelings and was ready to deal with them, no matter the consequences.
What had he said? Equivalent Exchange. It only wasn't equivalent because he wanted to give nothing. Nothing at all. He made that clear earlier.
"It's always so peaceful here in Resembool."
She had laughed and continued fitting the last screw into place on his automail. "You're hardly one to judge since you never visit us anymore, Ed. It could be a frenzy of excitement while you're away and you'd never know."
"Nah," he'd replied, after he had a laugh, too. "Some things never change. Like the way you always fix me up so I'm better than before." A flex of his newly tuned arm proved he meant it. "You're a genius, Winry. Thanks."
"Don't thank me," came her usual response, but the part about charging him a fortune stuck in her throat. That wasn't the reason he shouldn't thank her. The reason for that was because she wanted things to change. Some things to change…
"Something wrong? Now's when you're supposed to remind me about how you milk me for all I'm worth." Spoken with his usual smirk, but unfortunately, it wasn't enough to bring a smile back to her face.
"Aheh…" Was this her opportunity? Was she supposed to tell him the truth? About everything? Maybe…
He knew something was bothering her now. With a clink he pushed himself into a sit, human fingers cradling his metal arm to his chest as he continued to test it subconsciously. "Come on, Winry. Aren't you always hounding Al and I about not telling you everything?"
With the pretense of putting her tools away, she turned toward the wall, plucking the gadgets up one-by-one to place them in the box. She was always giving them a hard time about that, it was true. So maybe it was time.
"Well, Ed…We've been friends our whole lives pretty much, and I know what you said about some things never changing is true, but…other things do change. I mean, it's only natural—"
She cut short when she felt the cold metal of his right hand on her forearm, stopping her absent organizing. Golden eyes were locked on hers with something in their depths that she'd never seen before. "Don't say it."
At first, she was too shocked to do anything but gape, and when he released her arm it hovered there between them. But the surprise lasted only a moment before indignation rose up in its stead. "What do you mean 'don't say it'? How can you be so nonchalant? What makes you think you even know what I was going to say?"
"I'm not going to talk to you about your feelings for me."
Another moment of silence as she just stared at him, suddenly wishing she had a wrench in her hand. "Why not?"
"Equivalent Exchange, Winry. You tell me something and I'll have to tell you something. Give me more than friendship and you'll expect something in return and…" His flesh and blood fingers clenched so she wouldn't hear it. "I'm not willing to balance that equation."
The fact that he could say it so coldly, act like he was completely detached only angered her more. She was trying to tell him she loved him and he was spouting off about his beloved alchemy. It was enough to earn him a fist in the face.
In the moment the hit connected, she knew it would leave a bruise. Good. She wanted to remember that he was a heartless bastard after all. "Edward Elric, get out!"
Of course, he had been more than happy to oblige.
Five hours after it all began, Al convinced Ed to come back long enough to tell the Rockbells they were leaving. It was no surprise, no matter Al's protests.
Winry refused to turn around and look at them, focusing on the clock she was still putting back together. Better that she didn't look. Then she couldn't say anything stupid, and they wouldn't see her puffy cheeks or red eyes.
"We just got here, Brother, we—"
"Say goodbye, Al."
"Alphonse, come with me a moment." Of course her grandmother would conspire to get her and Ed alone together again. It made Winry's skin crawl.
"Y-yes, ma'am," was Al's meek agreement, the familiar clunk of the armor and the clasp of the door shutting telling her she was alone again. Alone, even with Ed standing wherever he was behind her.
Well, there was no getting around it. If they were getting on a train in a matter of minutes anyway, what did it matter if she got a last say? Maybe he'd be happier for it.
"I'm not going to tell you to stay, Ed. Or ask you to…" No, she couldn't say it. He'd told her not to before, and she'd respect that, for Al's sake, and for what he had confessed.
But that wasn't what he wanted to hear. He wanted things to be the same as they ever were, as they ever had been. She could hear it in the steps that carried him closer, and could feel it in his touch, his left hand on her shoulder.
"We'll come visit." How many times had she heard that before? This time, it was his apology. Whether he was sorry for not being willing to love her back, or sorry for everything else, she couldn't tell.
"I've got a wrench with your name on it if you don't." Normally, it would be accompanied by a grin or a laugh. But like his words before it, this time it was an apology, because she wasn't going to stop caring for him. Caring for him as more than just a childhood friend.
"Heh…yeah, I'm sure you do. Winry, I—"
The door squeaked open and whatever Ed might have said was lost forever. It was better that way. Some things probably shouldn't ever be said.
She wanted to tell him that she didn't want his protection. Wanted to tell him that she'd never make him love her so much he'd try to bring her back. If he was going to try anything with the philosopher's stone, he better learn how to transmute the human heart, so he could fix her broken one. But she couldn't bring herself to say any of that. She'd keep silent; she'd hurt so he wouldn't hurt. That was love, wasn't it?
When all the goodbyes had finally been exchanged, and she'd finished giving Al a hard time about how cold his hugs were, she finally met those golden eyes again. That same something was in his gaze but this time, she closed her eyes and hugged him. Hugged him, for once, for all she was worth and then some.
It was her way of saying she would try and be one of those things that always stayed the same, just for him.
