Published February 13, 2021

"Healing"

Kneel not to me:
The power that I have on you is, to spare you;
The malice towards you to forgive you: live,
And deal with others better.

~ William Shakespeare, Cymbeline, V, v

The name Kylo Ren came up fairly often, as it had during the war. It was unavoidable in the effort to rebuild the planets and even entire systems that had been exploited by the First Order. The Resistance would run into people whose planet or local community had suffered under the regime, or even at the hands of the Knights of Ren themselves.

Rey knew the other Resistance members watched for her reaction whenever Kylo Ren was mentioned; but she became good at keeping a straight face, not betraying any emotion other than grim understanding and sympathy for whoever was sharing their story.

Finn was the only one who knew how she felt at those moments. Time and training sharpened his sensitivity to the Force and his perception of people's thoughts and emotions. It grew increasingly easier for him to sense the feelings of people in general and his friends in particular.

When Kylo Ren was being discussed, Rey felt cold and sad inside. But when she talked about Ben Solo, happiness spread through her like light from a candle—a soft, glowing, comforting kind of joy.

"Do you still see him?" Finn asked her one day. "In the Force, I mean?"

"Yeah."

"Like … how often?"

"I don't know … maybe once or twice a month." It had happened enough times since his exile that Rey had lost count.

"That often, huh? You guys get along?"

Rey looked at him for a moment; then she smiled and turned away, shaking her head.

Finn also turned his back to her and muttered something about withdrawing the question. But, though his ability to sense other people's feelings was improving, he had trouble masking his own, particularly from his Force-sensitive friend. Rey could palpably sense the negative emotions churning inside him, though they were too confused to discern clearly.

"What is it?" she asked finally.

Finn shrugged. "Nothing, really. Nothing worth saying."

"Come on, Finn. If you don't say it, I might think it's worse than it is."

They met each other's eyes, and at last Finn huffed in defeat. "Okay. It's just … ever since I deserted … whenever I've thought about the First Order, I've kind of pictured him as the face of it. I mean, I never saw Snoke in person—hardly anyone did. The biggest players I saw were General Hux, Captain Phasma, and Kylo Ren. And when he became Supreme Leader, he and the Knights of Ren were all over the place, on the HoloNet and in propaganda. Even now, we and all the people we meet are living with the consequences of what he did."

Rey nodded slowly. "Okay. … Where are you going with this?"

"I don't know. I guess it's just … it's a weird contrast to how you seem to feel toward him."

"You don't have to approve of our relationship, Finn," Rey said, somewhat cool now. "But for better or worse, Ben and I are stuck with each other. It's in our best interests to be on friendly terms."

"I guess that makes sense," Finn conceded. "It's just hard for me to picture him as anyone's friend. Like you—I saw him carry you off in his ship, fling you against a tree, and almost cut you down a few times. I still have scars from our fight on Starkiller."

Rey blinked and frowned in surprise. "You do?"

"Er—yeah. I mean, they're not as bad as they were, but bacta can only do so much." Finn suddenly looked uncomfortable, almost self-conscious. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"You didn't. You just got me thinking …" Rey paused, deliberating. "Maybe it's time we talked about Force healing."

Finn perked up at that. "You mean like what you did for that giant snake?"

"Yes. But …" She trailed off as she became lost in thought.

"What?" Finn asked.

"I have an idea. But I don't know if it will work, or if you'll like it."

"Well, you're the Jedi. I trust your judgment."

Rey smiled but warned, "You shouldn't trust me just because of that."

"You know I don't. I trust you 'cause you're my friend."

"Good." That trust might soon be put to the test.

Despite having a means of communication, Ben did not receive many messages. He had expected as much when he left civilization. So hearing R2-D2 alert him to an incoming transmission was a surprise, as was the identity of the caller: Rey. They had never communicated remotely outside the bond, since it had essentially removed the need for them to do so. Why was she calling now?

"Hey," Ben greeted.

"Hey," Rey answered.

"This is different."

"I wanted to talk with you, and I couldn't wait for the Force to connect us."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no," she assured him. "It's just—" She took a breath and tried to start over. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Okay." Ben sat down on the bench, as though sitting across from Rey. "What kind of favor?"

"It's for a friend of mine. Someone you hurt once. This would be a way to make up for it, to make amends. You can think of it as a peace offering."

"Who's this friend?"

"Finn. Remember how you almost killed him on Starkiller Base?"

Ben nodded curtly. "I remember."

"Well, he still has scars from that fight. I didn't know until recently."

Ben frowned. "How did you find out?"

Rey guessed the bend of his thoughts, and laughed. "Don't be so scandalized! It just came up in conversation. Anyway, when he mentioned it, we ended up talking about Force healing. He asked if I could heal him, and I suppose I could, but … I think you should be the one to do it."

Ben stared at her holoprojection. "Why—why me?"

"You've hurt a lot of people. Most of them have been hurt in ways you can't fix, and even if you could, they wouldn't want or be able to see you. But Finn is one person that can come to you, and healing him is something you can do."

"So … you want this for his sake, or for mine?"

"Does it matter?"

"I'm just trying to understand."

"It's for both of you. I'm trying to be a peacemaker—that's what everyone seems to expect me to be—but I can't just fix relationships for other people. You were the one who inflicted the wound, so I think you should be the one who makes the effort to heal it. And Finn needs to make the effort to let go of his anger and hatred—I know he's trying, but it's still hard for him. This would give him some closure as far as you're concerned."

There was a certain logic to the idea, but Ben still had difficulty seeing how it could be carried out. "Would he agree to see me? To let me get that close?"

"I think I can convince him. He trusts me, and he knows I'm one of the few people that can beat you in a fight."

"The wounds are on his back, right? He can't even see them. Does he care whether he has them or not?"

"Someday he might. Everyone who sees them—his family, if he gets married and has kids; any doctors or anyone who has to see his back for any reason—will ask how he got them. Even if he just says that he was wounded in the war, it'll be a reminder to him of who you were and what you did."

"He's not going to forget that, even without the scars."

"No, but it might be easier to forgive you if you repair the damage you caused. This is one small way you can do that. I know it may not be much compared to the whole, but it would be a lot for him." Rey hesitated. "Don't tell him I told you this, but … he and Rose are dating."

"Oh?" Ben remembered the Resistance mechanic who had treated him kindly. He did not recall seeing her interact with Finn. But hearing that the stormtrooper was interested in someone else gave him some relief, even if it should not have.

Rey went on, "They might get married someday, and I don't think he would want her to see his scars and be reminded of you. Or of me."

"You?"

"He fought you to protect me, after you threw me against a tree and knocked me out. Before that, he had made it clear that fighting was the last thing he wanted to do. But he fought for me."

Ben was silent, processing what she said. She bristled slightly, almost blushing. "Finn and I have never been more than friends, and Rose knows that, but I'd rather not have her think of me whenever she sees …"

"Fine."

Rey stopped abruptly, not sure if she had heard correctly. "What?"

"If it'll bring you and your friends peace of mind, I'll do it."

"Really?"

Ben nodded.

Rey placed her hand over her heart. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

"I won't be nice to him," Ben warned.

Rey smiled at that. "Your father once said something similar to me."

Ben blinked in surprise. "Did he?"

"He did. I thought he was a nice man, even if he didn't want to seem like one." Her expression became soft. "I see him more and more in you. And if other people who knew him saw more of you, I'm sure they would too."

"We'll see."

"Does it make any difference what day we come?"

"Not really."

"Alright. I'll talk to Finn, and if he agrees, I'll let you know when we're on our way."

A week later, Ben stood waiting as the Millennium Falcon landed on the island. A moment later, Rey and Finn came down the ramp.

If Rey had come alone, Ben might have felt bold enough to greet her with a hug. But she was with her friend; the two of them were coming as a united front, and while they were no longer in opposition with him, it made Ben feel like the outsider, despite being in his own home.

"Hi, Ben," Rey said.

"Rey. Finn."

The former stormtrooper nodded to him. "Solo."

A moment of silence passed as they regarded each other and tried to think of something polite, or at least neutral, to say.

"You look a lot better than when I last saw you," Finn observed.

"Do I?" Ben was aware that his appearance had changed somewhat, but not necessarily for the better.

"I mean, you don't look beat up."

"… Thanks."

Rey clapped Finn's shoulder lightly and tossed her head toward the stone path. "Come on, we'll show you around."

Ben couldn't help feeling some satisfaction at hearing her say "we" referring to herself and him.

She walked between the two of them, whether they went side by side or single file, as they walked around the island. Ben deduced from her conversation with Finn that she was now training him in the ways of the Jedi. That only made sense, he supposed. He tried not to think about how he and Rey could have been like that, with him teaching her—though, in a different way, she had picked up a great deal from him.

"This place is kind of cool," Finn said appreciatively as they climbed the steps up to the village.

A smile tugged at the corner of Ben's mouth. "Not the word I would use, but yes."

"This is where the first Jedi came from?"

"It's where they first organized themselves as a religious order." Ben stopped outside his hut, glancing back at his visitors. He did not particularly want the deserter in his house, and he guessed that Finn did not want to be in his house, but he remembered what Rey had said during her last visit. So he asked them, "Do you want to come in?"

Finn masked his surprise with nonchalance. "Nah, I'm good."

"I think we should be inside for this," Rey countered. "It could rain any second, and you'll be cold in the wind."

With that, Ben held the door open for them. Rey put a hand on Finn's shoulder before guiding him inside.

"I like what you've done with the place," Finn said sardonically, looking around the sparse living quarters.

"I did the best with what I was given." Ben held out a hand and used the Force to move the crates around, creating three makeshift chairs. Finn sat down while Rey went over to R2-D2 and knelt to chat with him.

"So," Finn began.

"So …" Ben echoed.

"Are we really gonna do this?"

"You tell me."

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yet you're the one asking."

Rey joined them, sitting on the third crate. "Are you both ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Finn said with a grimace.

"May I see the wound?" Ben wanted to have a better idea of how much energy this would take before he made the attempt.

"More like wounds, plural," Finn griped, standing up. He shrugged off his vest and pulled his shirt off, then turned his back to them.

Ben had seen far worse wounds in his life. The scars from his lightsaber had healed fairly well. The only thing that surprised him was their size—the lines were thin, but longer than he had expected. "Bacta treatment?"

"Yeah." Finn turned around to face them again, folding his arms over his chest. "So how does this work?"

The three of them glanced at each other.

Ben indicated the stone bench that served as his bed. "Do you want to sit or lie down for this?"

"I think I'll stand."

"You'll have to turn your back to him either way," Rey said, tilting her head toward Ben.

Finn heaved a sigh, looking reluctantly between his friend and his former enemy.

"It'll be okay," Rey promised. She held her hand out to Finn, who clasped it gratefully. Ben fought back a surge of jealousy, seeing her give her hand to someone else, but he tried to shield the feeling before they could sense it.

"Okay. Okay." Finn sat down once more, still holding her hand, bracing himself. "Go ahead, then."

Ben's reluctance increased as he came to stand behind the younger man. Rey was the only person with whom he had ever shared his life force. It went against his instinct to share it with someone he did not love, for whom his feelings were mostly negative.

Seeing how tense they were, Rey began to speak, encouraging each of them in turn. "You have to want it. You have to remember that you're the same as far as the Force is concerned. It's in and around both of you." To Ben she said, "You have to will his wellbeing." To Finn she said, "You have to want to be healed."

Finn nodded, accepting this instruction. Ben just looked at Rey standing next to them, patient and hopeful and affectionate as she watched the two of them. He reminded himself that he was doing this for her.

Holding on to that thought, he placed one hand lightly on Finn's back, and then closed his eyes. To counter the tension in the air, he breathed deeply, in and out. It was quiet enough that he could hear Finn and Rey do the same.

Finn, of course, could not see the change as it happened, but he could feel it, and he shivered at the strange sensation. "Whoa."

"Hold still," Ben said through his teeth.

"I am holding still."

"Hush," Rey said. "Let him concentrate."

It did take concentration, and even more willpower than Ben usually needed to exercise when using the Force for exceptional tasks. He could feel own energy waning as he transferred more of it to Finn, willing the tissue to heal, the cells to rearrange.

He heard Rey gasp softly, prompting him to open his eyes. The skin on Finn's back now appeared smooth, unblemished. Ben pulled his hand back, then turned away and sat on the floor, leaning back against a crate, taking deep breaths.

"Did it work?" Finn asked, craning his neck to look over his shoulder.

"Couldn't you feel it?"

"Yeah, but I can't see—" He tried to stretch his arm to touch his back.

Rey looked at Ben in concern and knelt down next to him. "You okay?" She touched his shoulder, as though trying to steady him.

Ben put his hand over hers. "Fine. Just tired."

She smiled, sympathetic but also grateful. "Thank you for doing this."

"Wow—it worked!" Finn was feeling his backside, marveling at its smoothness. He started to turn toward them, but then looked away when he saw how close they were to each other. Instead he put on his shirt and vest, and stood up at the same time Rey helped Ben to his feet. "I never thought I'd say this, but thanks."

"… You're welcome."

They stayed long enough for Ben to eat some high-calorie rations Rey had brought—she knew how draining Force healing could be, and it was even more so when not fueled with adrenaline. Again, Rey filled the silence most of the time. But then Finn surprised them by addressing Ben. "I wanted to tell you something."

"Oh?" This was different—usually the Resistance members only wanted to ask or demand things of him.

"Back on our base, you asked me about the stormtroopers. I don't know if you actually care or were just trying to make a point, but it kind of stuck with me."

Rey interrupted, "I thought we weren't supposed to talk about …?"

"Yeah, well, I'm the same rank as Poe, so I can break his rules if I want."

"I'm not sure that's how that works," Rey said, but she sounded amused.

Finn turned to Ben and went on, "You were right. A lot of stormtroopers died that day. But not all of them. In fact, some of our allies on Exegol were deserters like me. And since then, we've been trying to locate the others—anyone who was 'conscripted' like us."

"To what purpose?" Ben asked, curious. This was the most he had heard about the Resistance and the First Order, or anything happening offworld, for quite some time.

Rey explained, "Our goal is to rehabilitate them and help them find their families."

"It's not going to be easy," Finn acknowledged. "But they'll at least have a choice about what to do with their lives."

Ben hardly knew what to say. Evidently this mattered to Finn, and it mattered to him that Ben knew about it. "That's … good." He supposed the stormtroopers would be even better off than he was now. They could not all be sent into exile. Those that still had families could try to live with them again. They could find new jobs, start new families, enjoy new lives. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks."

They did not see Rey's wide, satisfied smile as she observed them.

Once Ben felt strong enough, they walked back to the landing platform together. When they arrived Rey asked Finn, "Can you give us a minute?"

"Uh—sure." Finn turned to Ben and nodded in acknowledgement. "Thanks again. I know you did this for Rey and not me. But it's still appreciated."

Ben nodded back. "You're welcome. I would say 'come again,' but I'm guessing you wouldn't want to."

"Yeah, I'll probably be busy," Finn agreed.

"Well—may the Force be with you."

Finn actually smiled at that. "And with you." Then he started off for the Millennium Falcon.

When Ben looked at Rey he found her smiling widely at him, her arms folded, looking smug and triumphant. "What?"

"I knew it."

"Knew what?"

She gestured between Ben and Finn, who was disappearing into the ship. "You two—you're so alike. You could be friends if you tried."

"Rey, please, don't push it."

She laughed a little, but turned serious as she spoke. "I won't. You both came a long way today." She looked at him with sincere gratitude. "Thank you for doing this."

He softened as he looked back at her. "Rey … there's nothing I wouldn't do for you if you asked."

Her smile faded at that. She did not know how to respond. Ben cursed himself for making the lighthearted moment awkward. It was finally just the two of them, but now that they had some privacy, Ben did not know what to say.

After a moment, Rey opened her arms. Ben wordlessly came up and hugged her. They held each other for a full minute, breathing deeply, letting their emotions bleed through their bond. They were as wistful as they ever were at these moments of farewell; but Ben also sensed something else in Rey: pride. He thought it must have been for Finn, but then she spoke into his ear, words he had craved throughout his life: "I'm proud of you."

He pulled back in surprise. "For what?"

Her expression was tender. "For everything you're doing. I know this isn't easy, and you're trying so hard to be a better man. I just—I want you to know it's not unnoticed."

Ben was speechless. Seeing that he had no more to say, Rey kissed his cheek and promised, "I'll see you soon. Take care until then."

"You too."

This time, Rey was not the only one who waved as the ship took off; Finn also lifted his hand, making a gesture reminiscent of a salute.

Author's Note: Regular updates will resume after Easter. In the meantime, reviews are always welcome!