"Oh, my aching shell."
Splinter glanced up from his book at the sound of Michelangelo's voice. His students had just returned from another night of keeping the city reasonably safe, and it seemed that the night had taken its toll on all of them. "You look weary, my sons."
Raphael glanced up at his sensei as each of his brothers stumbled in different directions. "Weary ain't the word, Master Splinter," he grumbled, throwing himself onto the sofa across from the television. He didn't even have the strength to make it to his room. Leonardo came out of the kitchen, holding a cold can of Sprite against his forehead. "I'll have to agree with Raphael on this one, Sensei. The heat wave seems to have borne a crime wave, meaning more work for us. I'm afraid that the harder we work, the more we seem to be slacking."
Donatello turned on the fan at his computer desk. "Not only that," he added, "but the closer we get to being seen by the cops and other people who shouldn't see us. Let's face it; the past week has been filled with an abundance of lose/lose situations." As Michelangelo edged his way to the television, Splinter told his pupils, "Do not despair, my sons. You are doing the best you can, and your actions do not go unnoticed."
"Right," Raphael mumbled, his words partially garbled by a sofa cushion. "I've heard that song before." Grabbing the remote, Michelangelo allowed himself to drop to the ground. "You guys can keep complaining if you want," he said, though his voice sounded uncharacteristically worn out. "I'm gonna catch some boob tube until my brain's too mushy to even realize the heat." Despite his exhaustion, Raphael let out a chuckle as he commented, "Oh man, I'm not even touchin' that one."
"Leo," Donatello nearly whined, "seriously, I think we need a break. We're burned out. We're no good to the people we're protecting if we can hardly bear the weight of our shells." Leonardo sighed, glancing up at Splinter. "It sounds logical, but I don't know if that's just my own frustration talking or if we can actually afford to-"
"Guys!" Leonardo stopped speaking when he heard Michelangelo's frantic voice. "Guys, I just saw a giant turtle on the screen!" Confused, Donatello and Leonardo walked towards the television area, and Splinter peered up as well. Even Raphael managed to glance up from his resting spot.
On the television screen, a dark shadow shaped rather like a turtle was creeping towards an unsuspecting girl. "You don't think-" Donatello started, but was shushed by Michelangelo and Raphael. The girl on the screen appeared scared and lost. Suddenly, the deep voice of a narrator informed them, "You might be afraid of what you cannot see…." Sensing movement behind her, the girl whirled around, and the camera seemed to close in on her widened eyes and gasping mouth. "…but what about… what you cannot understand?"
The four turtles and the rat leaned in closer to the screen as the scene seemed to shift. The girl was now sitting in a makeshift living room that was not too unlike their lair. "You're… turtles," she murmured. A door closed behind her and she turned to look, spotting an anthropomorphic turtle lazily twirling a sai in his hand. "You were expectin' maybe… rats and cockroaches? Don't worry… we got plenty 'a those down here, too." Then, in the way most movie trailers do, a montage of explosive scenes flitted across the screen, interrupted only twice more by snappy one-liners. It wasn't the eye-candy that got these viewers interested, however. It was the fact that they had the eerie sense of watching themselves on the screen. After about thirty seconds, the title screen flashed. The Sewer Dwellers.
It wasn't until after the title faded away and a dog food commercial took its place that the actual "sewer dwellers" broke out into conversation. "Dude," Michelangelo exclaimed, "it's Allison's movie! It's actually coming out!" Forgetting about his tiredness, Donatello went back to his computer. "I've got to get to IMDB and find out more about it!" Raphael had sat up, and Leonardo sat next to him, saying, "This is great! Hey Donnie, see if you can find her address; we need to send her some kind of congratulations!"
"Allison?" Raphael whispered, almost as though he didn't know who they were talking about. Leonardo gave him a sideways glance. Allison Grayson had avoided becoming a gruesome victim to a particularly nasty gang… by being rescued by the four of them. Moreover, it was Raphael's sarcasm that led her captor to distract himself with shooting the turtle that allowed her the means to escape. Rather than simply run home and leave it at that, she had offered to help with Raphael's wounds. To put it mildly, by the end of their encounter, she ended up with far more wounds than Raphael did. Somehow, the two of them had a strange sort of understanding towards one another, and so Leonardo had never doubted that they had not seen the last of Allison, even when a screenwriting project forced her to move to California.
"Yeah," Leonardo told his brother. "Allison Grayson. You remember." Raphael shot him an angry look, as though he had just said something truly idiotic. "Yeah, 'course I remember. She's the one who hasn't remembered. We haven't heard from her in months; now she's rakin' in big bucks from a movie based on us."
"Hey, check this out, guys," Donatello called from his computer. "The heroine of the story is named April, and there's also a character named Casey. She's also got some guys in here named Don, Mike, Leo, and Raphael! Oh wow, and it's rated R for violence, language, and mild sexuality." He let out a low whistle. "Looks like she took some creative liberties, in that case. I can see Raph accounting for the violence and language, but as for the sexuality…." His voice trailed off into a repressed chuckle.
"Can it, shell-for-brains," Raphael growled. "Start that stupid stuff up again, 'n I'll make ya eat that computer." Having been listening to his brothers' prior conversation, Michelangelo turned to Raphael and said, "Hey, chill out, bro. Don't get so mad about her not callin'. It's not her fault-"
"Not her fault?" Raphael almost yelled. "First 'a all, I don't care if she calls or not. I just think it's kinda messed up that she promised to keep us up to date about her stupid project and doesn't even tell us about the trailer bein' out or nuthin'. Who said I'm mad? And who said it ain't her fault for not callin'? If the trailer's out, then they're done with the movie. She's got time now. All she had to do was write the stupid script, anyway; it wasn't like she had to act in it, too."
"Actually, Raph," Donatello cut in, still gazing into his computer monitor. "According to IMDB, she played a character named Irma, but it's so far down on the list of credits that I'm guessing it's just a cameo." Raphael was about to threaten Donatello once again, but Leonardo interrupted him. "Mikey's right, Raph. Allison warned us that she would be getting swamped with work. And she told us about how she wanted a hand in everything, since this is her first big project. She's probably involved with a bunch of post-production stuff, making sure it all goes according to her vision."
Raphael scoffed at the idea as he stood. "Right. Cuz she's an artist. Write one movie about a bunch 'a mutants livin' in the sewers, and you suddenly become an artist." As Raphael turned to leave, Michelangelo was suddenly struck with an idea. "Hey Splinter," he asked, "what do you think the waves in California are like this time of year?"
Raphael stopped in his tracks as Splinter's soft voice shrewdly replied, "I do not know, my son." The hotheaded turtle turned to look at the trio still seated by the television. With a grin, Michelangelo suggested, "Well, how about we go and find out?" His arms crossed over his chest, Raphael inquired, "Mikey, what half-baked plan is comin' outta your pin-head now?"
"What?" Michelangelo asked innocently. "We all need a vacation. And California is vacation central! Palm trees, some sun-" Raphael took a step towards him, accusingly saying, "Yeah, and Florida's the same way, and closer. How you expect to travel through the different time zones? Buy a ticket through JetBlue and tell 'em you're green from food poisoning?"
"Simple," Donatello broke in. "I can use the helicopter I swiped from Stockman last year to get us there. With the alterations I've been making on that baby, we'll be in California in even less time than it would take a commercial flight to get to Florida."
Raphael gawked at Donatello. "What, you too? I thought you were supposed to be the logical one." He looked at Splinter for assistance. "You're not actually considerin' agreein' with this, are ya? This is one 'a the toughest times 'a the year on this city. We can't just all go across the country because we think we've been workin' too hard."
Splinter merely shook his head, though the small smile he had didn't do anything to ease Raphael's mind. "Of course not. Someone needs to deal with the recent crime wave. And I do believe that I have spent enough time reading and can do with exercising my body as well as my mind."
"What? You? By yourself?"
"Do not be ridiculous, Raphael. April is surely competent enough to carry on where I cannot. Do you not believe so, Leonardo?" Raphael's eyes flashed at Leonardo, hoping that his previous reluctance to the idea of them needing a vacation would cause him to lean towards his side. Leonardo avoided Raphael's gaze, but did offer Splinter a vague smile of his own. "I do think April's ninjutsu training has come along quite nicely, actually. And if anything drastic happens, I'm sure Donnie can get us back here before it becomes too catastrophic."
Turning away from the conspirators, Raphael put both of his hands on his head and exclaimed, "I can't believe this!" Calling after him, Michelangelo said, "Well, if you don't wanna go, we can give your space to Casey. He's you in human form anyway, so maybe Allison won't be able to tell the difference."
Glaring at Michelangelo over his shoulders, Raphael darkly growled, "If you think that bonehead's any substitution for me, then you musta been hit in the head durin' the brawl with the punks earlier." Before they could say another word and only add to his aggravation, Raphael sped off to his room.
Looking back at his brothers, Michelangelo crooned, "I think Mr. Grumpy Ninja has a crush."
-------------------------------------------------
"Aw, how come I gotta stay?"
Leonardo looked back at Casey as he whined about being left behind. "Sorry, Case," he told him, "but we're only going to be gone for a week, and we can't afford bringing any unwanted attention to ourselves." Casey wasn't convinced. "Four little green men walkin' around Hollywood, and I'm the one who might draw unwanted attention. Right. I know when I'm bein' insulted."
"Besides," Donatello threw in, moving past Casey with a duffel bag in his arms and loading it into the helicopter, "you wouldn't want to leave April and Splinter alone to fend for themselves with this surge of crime going on, would you?" Casey crossed his arms over his chest, almost seeming to pout. "I still think you guys should let me tag along. How you gonna get a hotel, huh?"
"No prob, dude," Michelangelo commented, packing the DVDs he had borrowed from Allison months ago into a backpack. "Allison's cool. She'll let us stay at her pad. We've already done it before." Raphael slowly came up behind him, seeming to sulk about the whole deal. "I still think we shoulda called her before just expectin' her to welcome us back with open arms." With a grin and a friendly push, Michelangelo told him, "Hey dude, if you really don't wanna go, we could always haul Casey over, like I said before."
"Yeah," Casey piped up. "This Allison babe was crazy about me and my awesome moves on the ol' motorcycle." Stepping into the chopper, Raphael looked back at Casey and snarled, "If you think I'm gonna let ya go over there 'n sidetrack her before I can give her a piece 'a my mind, then you're losin' it, blockhead."
After Raphael disappeared inside, Michelangelo followed and turned to Casey. In his best imitation of his brother, Michelangelo said, "If ya think I'm gonna let ya go over there and steal away my girl before I fess up to my undyin' love for her, then you're-" From within, Raphael growled. "You're dead." Michelangelo let out a squeal as Raphael pulled him out of view.
Casey and Leonardo couldn't help but laugh, and Donatello—who had to duck out of his brothers' way lest he get caught in the crossfire—also chuckled as he exited the helicopter. "Oh man," Donatello remarked, "is this ever gonna be a vacation to remember."
"It would appear so, Donatello." The two turtles and one human turned around to see Splinter standing behind them. "You did not forget to take ample resources to thank your hostess with?" Leonardo checked a zipper in the canvas bag he was holding. "More than Allison would ever accept, plus enough left over for souvenirs."
As Splinter nodded in approval, Michelangelo stumbled out of the chopper. "Oh man, do we have to bring Mr. Can't-Take-a-Joke? I don't think my shell can handle this for the whole trip." Not concealing his smirk, Donatello suggested, "Maybe you should stop needling him so much." Despite whatever Raphael had managed to do to him, Michelangelo uttered a laugh. "No way, bro! At this point, he's such an easy target!"
"I am worried about Raphael," Leonardo confessed. "I mean, I appreciate a good joke now and then, but the way Raph's been acting ever since we first saw that trailer is just making me wonder if he's in any mindset for-" Splinter interrupted him. "Raphael expresses his emotions much differently than most. I am sure that, despite his current animosity, he is anxious to see his old friend again."
"Maybe," Casey commented, surprising the others by seeming to have misgivings similar to those of Leonardo's. "But somethin' about this trip is makin' me uneasy. Maybe the girl don't wanna talk to you guys? Or maybe she can't? I mean, I know it ain't nothin' you guys wanna be thinkin' about, but still… it's been, what, ten months? If Raph is expectin' a warm welcome—which I ain't sayin' he is—then this might not be the best thing for him if she don't react the way you all expect her to, and he might be thinkin' the same thing. Y'know what I'm saying?"
Most of the turtles did not, but Splinter reassuringly put a hand on one of Casey's large arms. "I am sure your concern is well-meaning, but whatever this trip may bring, I feel that Raphael may return the stronger for it. If nothing else-" At this, he turned to his pupils and sternly finished, "I expect you boys to relax and be ready to return to work upon your arrival!" Michelangelo groaned and Donatello looked down. Only Leonardo remained unsurprised by his master's insistence on their continued hard work. In a pleasant voice, Splinter then told them, "And do not forget to send postcards. Have a safe trip, my sons."
After the entire company bade their farewells, the turtles set out for their trip to California.