Published July 17, 2021

"Rescue"

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

~ W. H. Auden, "The More Loving One"

Rey was someone who took risks.

Ben had known this for a long time. She had chosen to fight rather than flee from him on Starkiller Base; she had surrendered to him on the Supremacy in an act of faith; she had thrown in her lot with the Resistance when they seemed to have no hope of survival; and she had walked alone into the emperor's lair on Exegol. She was brave even to the point of recklessness.

He was reminded of this when the Force connected them during or immediately after one of her adventures. She did not seem to suffer injuries often—he suspected Force healing helped with that—but he sometimes saw her with disheveled hair, dirtied or torn clothes, and bruised or cut skin. And as she began to plan and lead more missions herself, to liberate slaves or find Jedi artifacts, she could not help telling him about some of her more thrilling exploits. Sometimes it was a way for her to vent after a stressful ordeal, but sometimes she was on an emotional high, and eager to tell someone about her triumph. Ben might be the first person to know of it, if he appeared to her before she reported back to the Resistance.

He did not worry too much about her, at least not consciously. He knew better than most how competent she was. But he still expressed concern from time to time, which she easily brushed off. He wondered if her luck would run out one day. Her daring reminded him very much of his father, and to a lesser extent his mother and uncle. Their luck had held out until they each deliberately laid down their lives.

On this occasion, Ben sensed Rey's emotions even before she appeared, and they were intense enough to startle him. He had felt distress and agitation from her in the past, but that which she felt now was greater and more immediate. The sight of him, however, brought her some hope. "Ben!"

"Rey. Is everything alright?"

She shook her head and spoke quickly. "No, actually, it's really not."

"What's wrong?"

Rey glanced around at her environment before looking him in the eye. "Remember how you once told me you'd do anything for me?"

"Yes."

"I may have to test that."

"Why? What's going on?"

Rey's answer had the urgent efficiency of someone describing a life-threatening problem. "I'm on a mining planet. Chewie and Lando and I came to free the slaves here. The bosses caused the tunnels to cave in at different places to trap us. Now we're all separated, our communications are being jammed, and I think they're starting to pump some kind of gas down here."

Ben was appalled. "Do you get into situations like this a lot?"

"Ben, please." She grasped his shirt and tugged down. "I need you to call the Resistance and tell them we need backup."

"You want me to call them?"

"You have to. And, Ben—don't blame the others. I organized this mission." Anguish filled her eyes. "Which means it'll be my fault if anyone dies."

"Rey—"

"Please help me, Ben. You're my only hope."

She must have known how much those words meant to the Solos and Skywalkers. Ben nodded. "Okay."

"Thank you." She let go of him, and when she stepped back she was gone.

Ben turned to R2-D2. "Artoo, I need to send a transmission to the Resistance. Whoever's available at the highest level. Finn, Poe Dameron, one of the officers."

For once, the droid did as it was told without questioning the directive. But a few minutes went by without anyone opening the communication line.

"Come on," Ben growled through his teeth. "Pick up." He had to wonder whether they were snubbing him out of spite. Then again, perhaps he simply was not considered a high priority.

"Make it a distress signal," Ben ordered.

R2-D2 did so, while making a cheeky comment about who exactly was in distress. Only another minute went by before one of the officers took the call.

"I need to speak with the generals. It's an emergency."

"I'll get them," the officer said before disappearing. After a minute, Poe Dameron's face appeared in the blue light.

"Dameron—"

"That's General Dameron, thank you," he interrupted.

Ben got right to the point: "Rey is in trouble."

Poe looked at him skeptically. "And you know this because …"

"She reached out to me through the Force a few minutes ago. She told me to contact you for her."

"Why should we trust anything you tell us?"

Ben was grasping in his mind for an answer when Finn gently pushed Poe out of the hologram's frame. He nodded to Ben. "What did Rey say?"

"They're trapped in the mines, and the slavers are trying to gas them. You need to get them out of there."

Poe reached over and muted the transmission, so Ben could not hear the conversation taking place at their end. Finally, Finn nodded to his fellow general and turned the volume back on. "Solo—if you see Rey again, tell her we're coming."

"I will." With that the call ended.

For the first time, Ben tried to focus and call upon his bond with Rey. She had gotten better at connecting through the Force at will, but he was still learning.

When she appeared, Rey was kneeling, one arm braced against a wall, the other covering her mouth and nose. She looked up and coughed as she spoke. "Ben?"

"Rey. Are you okay?"

"Not really," she admitted, sinking to sit against the wall. "I can smell the gas coming in. It's like a weird kind of smoke fumes."

Ben knelt beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. "I talked to your friends. They're on their way to you."

Gratitude flooded her face. "Thank you, Ben."

"You're welcome." He looked at her with growing concern. "Is there anything else I can do?"

She looked back with a vulnerable expression. "Try to stay with me?"

"Of course." He moved his hand down to put his arm around her back.

She coughed again. "I can't really talk," she wheezed. "Just—distract me. I'm afraid of passing out."

"Should I pinch you or something if you start to?"

"… That's—cough—probably a good idea."

"I wonder if you could somehow breathe the air from where I am," Ben mused. "We've passed things into each other's location before."

"Hm." Rey seemed intrigued by the idea, and angled herself toward him. "Let's try it. Breathe on me—on my face."

Ben did so, first leaning back to inhale deeply in his own surroundings, and then leaning forward to exhale on her face, while Rey closed her eyes and inhaled slowly.

"Hope that doesn't smell bad," Ben said apologetically.

Rey laughed, but then her laughter turned into coughing. "Don't—don't make me laugh."

"Sorry. I wasn't trying to."

"Well, it's funny to me, because that's honestly the best-smelling air in here."

"If you start to suffocate, I can try rescue breaths," Ben offered. "You know, like you'd use for someone who's drowning or choking."

She looked sideways at him, suspicious yet smiling. "Are you looking for an excuse to kiss me?"

"Of course not! It's not like that—you can do it through a cloth, to avoid direct contact. It's just the air that goes in and out. Nothing else."

"If you say so."

"Rey … do you want me to try to breathe for you, or not?"

She coughed and answered, "Ask me again in a minute."

In the brief silence that followed, Ben thought of another idea. "Rey, you remember how you passed your lightsaber to me on Exegol?"

"Of course."

"It wasn't the first time we did something like that. Even before we touched—one time I got water on my hand from your environment."

"Are you—cough—going somewhere with this?"

"Well … mightn't it be possible for you and I to pass into each other's environments? Is that so much of a stretch?"

Rey frowned, thinking about it. "I guess not."

"Do you want to try it?"

"Well—maybe you should check with the others first, so they don't get the wrong idea."

"The—oh. Right." So they don't think I'm kidnapping you again.

Ben had to stand up to cross the room to R2-D2, causing the connection to end. This time, his call to the Resistance was answered right away.

Poe's greeting was short and to the point. "What's up, Solo?"

"Is Rey okay?" Finn asked.

"For now, yeah. Listen, I have an idea," Ben said. "Rey and I have been able to interact physically through our bond. Matter can pass through it, across time and space."

"Yeah?" Poe was wary and more than a little suspicious.

"I can try to pull her into my environment. But I don't want to be accused of kidnapping—"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

Ben gritted his teeth as he finished, "—so I'm asking your permission."

Poe considered him. Ben was about to demand that he speed up his answer when he finally gave one: "No."

Ben couldn't believe what he heard. "What?" he and Finn both said.

"I think it's better if we pick her up," Poe said. "You guys seem to learn this stuff through trial and error, and she may not have enough time."

"But if it works, it might be quicker than you can get to her," Ben argued.

"Then we could focus on the slaves," Finn thought out loud. "That's what she'd want us to do. She's said …" he hesitated, his voice faltering a little. "She's said if it comes down to her or the slaves, we should try to save them first."

Of course she would say that, Ben thought bitterly. He rubbed his hand over his temple, frustrated and starting to feel a headache.

Poe remained unconvinced. "Do you have the medical equipment she needs, to treat the poison gas?" he asked Ben.

"No," Ben admitted reluctantly.

"Then it's better for us to find her and get her to a medic."

"I could heal her, though. We've done it before—"

"She'll also want to be able to help with the slaves when they arrive. I've seen her do it before, after missions. Picking her up would take more time …"

The general continued to talk, but Ben only half listened, as darker thoughts swirled in his mind.

His appreciation of the gravity of the situation had only grown from the moment Rey made her plea. But now, for a few seconds, Ben thought about the possible aftermath: a galaxy without Rey in it, and possibly without Chewbacca the Wookiee or Lando Calrissian in it. The old men would certainly have merited mourning, but they were already close to the end of their respective species' average lifespans. Rey, though, was still so young … and she cared about Ben, and he for her, more than anyone else now alive.

Rey had professed pride in Ben's conduct over the past few years, but really, when he thought about it, the main reason he had not given in to his destructive emotions and behaviors was because he had not had much to trigger them. Living alone, there was no one around to arouse his anger or hatred. But if he lost the few remaining people that mattered to him … who knew what he might do?

It was Rey, and to a lesser extent their mutual friends, who had rescued Ben from his self-loathing and kept him from the edge of despair. She was, he realized, his main source of emotional support. She was the one who had kept him stable, motivated him to control himself, and supported him as he healed from his guilt and grief. Without her, he would have been unmoored.

She had, in fact, died once before, on Exegol. Finding her body had not been a shock, though, since Ben had already noticed some time before that he could not sense her. His grief had been held at bay by his determination to reach her. Once he held her lifeless body, he had felt lost, hopeless, until he remembered what she herself had taught him, and returned the favor she had granted him earlier.

But if she were to die now, after they had grown so close, shared so many casual conversations and intimate discussions … the thought of never seeing her again was almost unbearable, and the thought of her life being cut short made him angrier than he had felt in years. On top of that, without Rey to keep him in check, Ben might well lose whatever control he had gained over his emotions; he would probably go on a rampage, destroying what was left of civilization on the island.

His voice was tight as he spoke once more. "Dameron, if she dies … I won't be responsible for my actions."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, it's a statement of fact."

"I'll keep that in mind," Poe said shortly. Then he cut the transmission.

Ben growled and fought the urge to pound his fist against the wall of his hut. He wished he could be in the same room as the general, to get a sense of his thought process. If he was being contrary just to spite his onetime rival … Ben could only hope that he had more sense and honor than that.

He was startled when R2-D2 beeped again, signaling an incoming transmission. When Ben opened the line, it was not Poe, but Finn who appeared in the hologram. "Solo?"

"Finn—talk to me."

The former stormtrooper's expression was resolute. "I'm overriding Poe's decision."

"What?"

"If you can get her out of there faster than we can, I say go for it. If Poe doesn't like that, he can take it up with me."

Ben was amazed. "You trust me?"

Finn considered him and qualified the statement: "I trust you as far as Rey's concerned."

For the first time, after years of trying not to resent this man, Ben felt a surge of respect and gratitude toward him. "Thank you," he said.

"Just let us know whether it works."

"Give me a few minutes. I'll call you back."

When the transmission ended, Ben turned and tried to call upon the bond. After a moment, Rey appeared, still crouching low, looking tired and more miserable than before. She lifted her head when Ben appeared. "Well?"

"Finn said it's okay. I'm going to try to pull you here." He glanced around his room before looking back to her. "Um—is it okay to pick you up?"

She smiled weakly at his courtesy. "Go ahead."

He gathered her in his arms and stood up. Turning on the spot, he asked her, "Can you see my surroundings now?"

She craned her neck to look around. "No. Just you and the cave."

He moved a few paces. "What about the bed, here?"

"No."

He knelt next to the bench and rested his arms on it, still holding her. "How about now?"

She frowned in surprise. "I can see the bed." She reached out her hand, and her fingers made contact with the blanket. "I can feel it. But I don't see where you are."

"Okay. I'm going to let go and see if that makes a difference." He slid his arms out from under her and let his weight fall back on his heels. "How about now?"

Rey looked around. "Huh. Strange—it's like the bed is here. But I'm still here."

At this point Ben felt both frustrated and desperate. "Come on," he said under his breath, more to the Force than to Rey. "It shouldn't be this hard. Let's—let me try just pulling you here. Okay?"

Rey understood, and obligingly held out her hand. "You don't have to be gentle."

With that permission, Ben grabbed her hand and yanked, pulling Rey off the bed entirely; he fell back onto the floor as he caught her, causing her to yelp. The next thing they knew, he was lying on his back, holding her tightly as she lay on top of him, her head turned away as she coughed.

When she stopped coughing, their eyes met; their cheeks colored at how ridiculous this was becoming; and then Rey remembered to look around. She rolled off of him and pushed herself up into a sitting position, her expression crestfallen as she took in her surroundings. "It didn't work."

Ben swore, and he might have continued uttering curses if Rey had not started coughing and put a hand on his arm, either to silence him or support herself. He fell silent, and when the coughing abated, he murmured, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Ben."

He could have argued against that, but there was no time. "I need to let the others know."

Rey looked up sharply, and now Ben saw real fear in her eyes. "Don't leave me! Please—I don't want to be alone."

"I'll be right back," Ben promised, squeezing her shoulder. "It'll take a minute at most."

He waited until she nodded in acceptance. Then he stood and went back to the droid. Finn answered the call immediately.

"Finn? We tried, but it didn't work. She's still in there. You have to get her out."

"Roger that. We're almost there. Can you stay with her until we arrive?"

"I can. I will."

"Thanks. Over and out."

Ben bent over R2-D2's dome, clenching his fists as he concentrated. Mercifully, the bond opened almost at once. He turned around and saw Rey on the floor by the wall again. She was curled up upon herself, hugging her knees tightly and trying to breathe inside the pocket of air created by her arms and legs.

"Rey!" Ben knelt in front of her and touched her arms. When she lifted her head to look at him, he pushed her hair back from her face. "Your friends are coming. I just talked to Poe and Finn. They'll be here soon."

She nodded, but when she tried to speak, she coughed.

"You don't have to talk. Here—breathe with me." He put his arms around her and held her close, her head resting on his heart. He bowed his head so his breath washed over her face. Rey inhaled more deeply then.

"They should be almost there," Ben murmured, rubbing her back. "It won't be long."

Rey nodded, her cheek sliding against his shirt. For a few minutes they were silent, measuring and counting each breath they took. That simple act had never felt so arduous for either of them.

It was Rey who broke the silence. "Ben … if I don't make it—"

He seized her by the shoulders and looked at her head-on. "Don't you dare talk like that. You're going to be fine."

"I appreciate your confidence, but—"

"But nothing! You've survived worse things than this, haven't you? Jakku, the Supremacy, Exegol … you can't die now."

"Well, whenever it happens … I want Finn to have my lightsaber. You can have the Skywalker saber, if you want it. Since it belonged to Luke, I think it belongs with Leia's."

"Stop it! You are not allowed to die today," Ben said sternly. "I forbid it, Rey."

She raised her brow at him, a smile quirking her lips. "You can't tell me what to do."

He supposed that contrariness was a good sign, but he did not appreciate her attempt at humor. "I'm serious, Rey. If you—" He had been on the verge of saying, If you ever loved me. But a sudden, paralyzing doubt made the words die in his throat.

After five years, they had never verbally expressed or discussed their feelings toward each other. They seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to touch the subject. And Ben had misunderstood her feelings regarding him in the past. What if he had misinterpreted her again? Did she not feel the same way as him? Was he less important to her than she was to him? Did she not know how much she meant to him? Was it right of him to impress that upon her now? Would that knowledge help her in this dire moment?

He wanted her to know how much she was loved. But the last time he had tried to tell her how he felt about her, he had failed miserably. He was not sure he could do much better now.

"I never apologized," Ben realized.

Rey coughed, though it might have been a disguised bark of laughter. "For what, specifically?"

"What I said to you, after—in Snoke's throne room. I've thought a lot about that, and … I think I was so used to Snoke giving me backhanded compliments, I did the same to you. But that's no excuse. I shouldn't have said it like that. I—" The solution came to him just as he said it. "I should have said what you are."

She blinked at him. "I'm just a scavenger."

"No, Rey. You worked as a scavenger, but that's not who you are. You're Rey. You're brave, smart, talented, and loyal. You're an instrument of the Force, one half of my dyad, and the strongest person I know. You're a better Jedi than I ever could have been. And you belong in this story. This, right now—this is your story. I'm just glad I got to be a part of it."

As he said all this, she looked up at him with tired, wondering eyes. Then she reached out and touched his face, her fingers lightly brushing his cheek, just as they had when she awoke in his arms on Exegol. The sweetness of that memory made Ben want to kiss her again—a full kiss on the mouth. But before he could decide, she slumped forward, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. He instinctively hugged her, almost cradling her as she sagged against him.

"No—Rey, you need to stay awake." He tried to turn her and shake her, and found that his own hands were trembling under her weight. Her eyes were half-closed. "Stay with me, Rey. Just hold on until your friends arrive."

Her eyes opened fully, and she turned her head just enough to meet his gaze. "You have," she said simply.

He stared at her as the meaning of her words sank in. Rey rallied enough strength to grasp his shirt and pull herself up slightly. Her eyes were clear as she spoke, even though her voice was soft and hoarse from coughing. "I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be alone when it happens."

"You won't be," Ben vowed. It was an impetuous thing to promise, but he meant it. "If I die first—which is what should happen, since I'm older—I'll come back through the Force. I'll learn how. And even if I can't—either way, I'll be there with you. You won't be alone."

Rey's eyes filled with tears, and Ben felt her gratitude. "Thank you. I'll do the same, if I go first."

"You won't." He bent over her to hug her again, both to hold her close and to hide his own tears. "Think of your friends. Think of Finn, and Rose, and Chewie, Lando, Maz, and that idiot Poe … think of me, Rey. I'm trying to be here for you, but I need you to stay with me. I need you to live. I—I need you, Rey."

"I know," she mumbled, becoming contrite. "I'm sorry. I tried … to be there for you …"

Perfect: instead of galvanizing her with a will to live, he had made her feel bad for something beyond her control. Ben tried to reassure her. "You have been. Far more than I deserved. I'm grateful."

Her voice was feeble. "I want you to be okay."

"We'll both be okay, Rey. Don't worry. Just hold on. Please, hold on …" He realized he was rocking forward and back. He stopped moving, but continued talking, encouraging and pleading in turns.

Suddenly there were other voices, calling Rey's name. Ben exhaled, this time in utter relief. "You hear that? They're coming. You're going to be okay." He lifted his head enough to look at her; she looked almost asleep, her eyes barely open. He cupped her cheek in his hand, leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead before exhaling over her face once more. "I told you so."

The voices were clearer now.

"Rey!"

"Who's there?

"Ren?"

"Is that—Solo?"

Ben looked in the direction of the voices and was surprised to see the speakers: three Resistance agents wielding flashlights and blasters. They stopped and stared at the sight of Ben cradling Rey, who was now unconscious.

"What are you waiting for?" he exclaimed. "Help her!"

"You step away from her," one of the soldiers said, gesturing with his blaster.

Ben complied, setting Rey gently down. "Take care of her," he said. Then he stood and took a step back, until he reached the wall of his hut. Then, they were gone.

Shuddering, Ben slumped against the wall and rubbed his hands over his face and hair.

R2-D2, who in a rare show of tact had been quiet while Ben interacted with Rey, now spoke up in concern for both of them.

"I'm fine," Ben said shortly. "And Rey's friends found her, so she should be fine, too."

Even as he reassured the droid, he could not stop the thought from passing through his mind: What if she had not been fine? His thoughts spiraled further down the hole he had discovered while talking to Poe and Rey; it seemed even deeper and bleaker than the Dark Side cave on Ahch-To.

He shook his head to free it from that train of thought. "Keep it together, Solo," he muttered to himself. The last thing he needed now was a breakdown. Usually, when he was upset, Rey was the one who comforted him. But she could not do that right now. He had to rely on himself, and trust that Rey's friends, and the Force, would make sure she was alright.

As the hours crawled by, Ben felt immensely grateful that R2-D2 was the droid that had come to live with him. C-3PO would not have been a steady or consoling presence; he was more likely to fret and sulk. R2-D2 may not have had emotions like those of an organic being, but he was a steadfast companion as Ben waited for news.

He tried meditating to calm himself, but instead of thinking about the Force, he found himself thinking of Rey. He made his preeminent thought a mantra: Let her live. Let her live.

Finally, R2-D2 alerted him that there was a transmission incoming. "Patch it through," Ben commanded, springing to his feet.

A holographic image of Finn appeared. He looked tired and more troubled than Ben had ever seen him, but there was also relief in his expression.

"Finn. How is she?" Ben asked.

"Well, she's alive, as I'm sure you're aware, but it was really close. Medics are taking care of her. Chewie and Lando are okay, too."

Ben heaved a deep breath. "Thank you for telling me."

Finn shrugged. "She asked us to. When she woke up, you were the first person she mentioned, after asking about the escapees."

"Did you find them?"

"Yeah, we did. It was a pretty big victory, in the end. Between the fighting and the poison gas, only a few slaves and soldiers didn't make it. A few hundred escaped, thanks to you and Rey." Finn smiled in a strange way; it made Ben think of someone losing a game to an opponent they respected. "You did good, Solo."

"… Thanks." Ben hesitated. "Will you let me know how she is, now and then?"

"I will—if she doesn't do it first."

After that call, Ben tried to go through his usual routine. But every moment, he hoped for that sensation that told him the Force was connecting them.

It did not come until nearly a full planetary rotation later. When he felt it, he stilled, uncertain of what he would see and whether he would be able to handle it. He steeled himself, remembering that he ought to be strong for her—she, after all, was the one who had almost died.

He turned around, and there she was, lying as though on his own bed, though the pillow and sheets appeared to be hers. She wore a simple white shift, like a hospital patient, with a blanket spread over her legs. Her eyes were open, her gaze clear, and when she saw him her face lit up. "Ben?"

He heaved a sigh of relief. "Rey." He came over and knelt next to the bed. "Are you in pain?"

She answered honestly. "Tired. Headache. But I've felt worse."

They stared at each other, and Ben wanted to touch her, to confirm that what he saw was real; but he hesitated, his hand hovering midway between them. "May I—?"

"Of course." Rey's voice was almost a whisper, choked with emotion.

With one hand he clutched hers; with the other he touched her hair, her cheek. Though paler than usual, her skin was reassuringly warm. Rey pulled his hand to rest over her heart, where he could feel her heartbeat and the rise and fall of her chest. "You saved me … again."

"Why the tone of surprise?"

"I'm not, really. I'm just grateful."

"Well, I wasn't going to let you die." He managed to smile slightly. "Not after all the trouble I went through to keep you alive."

She returned the smile, but her eyes were serious. "Thank you. For my life. That's twice I owe you for."

Ben shook his head, his smile fading. "You don't owe me anything."

Rey did not answer, just squeezed his hand. Ben looked her over and asked, "Have you been unconscious all this time?"

"No, I just haven't been alone until now. Finn and Rose have been taking turns sitting up with me. I think that's why we couldn't see each other until now."

Ben felt grateful to them, even if their kindness had delayed his seeing her himself.

"How's your prognosis?" he asked.

"Pretty good. They don't think there's any permanent damage. That was the main thing they were worried about, whether the chemicals in the gas had hurt my lungs or brain or other organs."

Ben fought back a shudder. As worried as he had been, he had not thought through all the possible consequences of Rey's experience. The thought of her being brain damaged or permanently disabled in any way brought its own kind of pain, different from the thought of her dying.

She noticed his reaction, and squeezed his hand as though to reassure him. He blinked rapidly, fighting back tears. This was no way to appear to Rey while she was recovering; he should have been setting an example of strength, and encouraging her to dedicate herself to healing.

But she sensed his emotions, and did what she always did when she wanted to ease his pain: she opened her arms to him. "Come here."

A sob escaped Ben's lips as he put his arms around her, bending over until his cheek rested on her heart. He breathed deeply against her, and could smell the antiseptic scents of the infirmary, but also a scent that he recognized as undeniably Rey. Her arms encircled his shoulders, and she stroked his hair and kissed his head.

As he had comforted her in the mines, so she comforted him now, her voice growing stronger with conviction. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm okay. We're going to be okay."

For the first time since learning she was in danger, Ben began to truly believe that.

When he drew back, he kept his left forearm under her neck, and touched her face with his right hand. They looked at each other, marveling once again at their being alive and, in at least one sense, together.

He had the possibly irrational urge to kiss her, fully and deeply—not to satisfy his own desires, but because there seemed no better way to express how he felt. But she looked so tired and fragile, he was afraid of doing anything that might hurt or excite her. Instead, he leaned over and touched his forehead to hers, breathing on her again.

I love you. He had decided to say it, either audibly or telepathically, but someone else spoke first. They had been so absorbed with the sight and feeling of each other that they had not noticed the approach of two Resistance officers.

"You!" Poe Dameron was startled and angry—as well he might be, seeing the war criminal touching a hospital patient. At his side, Rose Tico was a little bemused but overall calm.

This time, unlike when Luke had walked in on them, Ben and Rey held on to each other. "He's not really here," Rey said in his defense.

"Doesn't matter," Poe said before addressing Ben. "You accepted exile; you can't act like—"

Rose cut in, putting a hand on the general's arm. "Poe, give them a break. She almost died, and he helped save her, not to mention all the others. I think we owe them this much."

Poe glared at Rose, and then at Ben. Rey clung to him, refusing to let him disappear. Finally Poe pointed at him and said, "Five minutes. Under supervision. I'm sure you won't mind," he said, clapping Rose's shoulder as he turned and walked away.

Rose glanced back at Rey and Ben, who looked back at her with gratitude. Then she shuffled awkwardly back the way she had come. "I'll just be—here, outside," she said, gesturing to the corridor.

"Thank you," Ben said.

"You're welcome." Rose paused and added, "You saved a lot of people's lives. You have their thanks." Then she turned and left the room, disappearing from Ben's sight.

Ben had not thought much about the other survivors, except for the fact that Rey cared about them. It was strange to think that anyone besides her owed him a life-debt. When factored in with all the lives he had taken, even from the Resistance itself, it probably didn't count for much. But it was something.

"Are you okay?" Rey asked him softly.

"Me? I—yes, I'm fine." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. You're the one who almost died, and here I am blubbering …"

"You almost lost half of your dyad. You're allowed to be upset."

He continued to touch her cheek and her neck as he spoke. "I'm glad you're okay. But …" He stopped and looked down, taking a breath before he went on. "It occurred to me that … if either of us dies … whichever of us outlives the other will sense it."

Rey did not want to think about that, though she could not dismiss it out of hand. "Maybe we'll die at the same time," she mused. "If our lives are linked … maybe we can't outlive each other."

Ben was not sure whether that sounded like a good thing or a bad thing. "My point is, if you die, I'll know, even if no one contacts me." His expression was soft, his eyes pleading. "Try not to let that happen."

There was something proud and challenging in her eyes as she answered, "I will if you will."

He smiled. "That's fair. But I'm not regularly in danger."

"No … but you could have given up on life, when you went into exile. Some here thought you might just waste away; a few thought you might—" She stopped, unable or unwilling to say it.

"Finish myself off?" Ben supplied.

"I knew you wouldn't," Rey said adamantly. "It's not in your nature."

Ben thought about this. If he had not had someone to live for, he was not sure he would have had the strength of will to continue surviving. "Well, I couldn't leave half of my dyad alone. And I expect the same of you. I'm going to stick around and keep annoying you, so long as you do the same for me. Deal?" He offered his hand.

She smiled and accepted his hand. "Deal."

They held on to each other, both keenly aware of the fact that they now were able to make and accept offers with each other so freely, so trustingly.

Ben was usually the more reserved one when they touched each other through the bond, but now he brushed her hair back, leaned over and pressed his lips to her forehead for a long moment. As he pulled back, he saw that her eyes were closed, but when she opened them they seemed sad, wistful. He could also see how tired she was.

"You should rest," Ben said finally.

She nodded, but her eyes remained open and fixed on him. "Will you stay until then?"

"I'll try."

"Thank you." Rey kissed his hand, then kept it clasped against her chest as she turned her head to the side, closing her eyes. Ben touched her hair again, then leaned over and kissed her cheek. He drew back slowly, resting his forehead against her temple, letting his breath flow over her face one more time. She smiled faintly at the sensation, and he smiled to see that reaction.

After the last time he had seen her and held her, it was a joy to watch her sleep peacefully, to feel her breath and the rise and fall of her chest. He would not let go of her until Rose poked her head back in to warn him that Poe was coming to make sure he was gone. Reluctantly, Ben kissed the back of Rey's hand, placed it on the blanket, and let go.

He sat back against his own cold stone bunk, alone again—except for the droid, who demanded a status update.

Ben heaved a heavy sigh, letting his head fall back. "I'm in trouble, Artoo."

The droid asked if it was like the trouble Rey had been in.

Ben smiled and reassured it, "No, a different kind of trouble."

Is it anything I can fix?

"It's not something that needs to be 'fixed,' it's just … something that has to be faced. I see that now. And only Rey and I can do it."

Since coming to Ahch-To, Ben had faced many truths about himself and about his relationships with various people. He had thought he understood and accepted his feelings toward Rey, but now he saw that there was still much to work out—first within himself, and then between the two of them.

His gaze fell on the shelf where he kept his writing supplies. The journal Maz Kanata had given him was still there, and about a third of its paper pages were still blank.

For the first time in a long time, Ben took the journal out and started to write. He continued writing until he fell asleep.

Author's Notes:

This chapter was turned out longer and harder to write than I had expected. I realize it's like a combination of "A Little Fall of Rain" from Les Miserables and "Stay Alive (Reprise)" from Hamilton. The good news is, this is the point where things start to pick up plot-wise!

Catholic Mass-goers, did you recognize the psalm in last week's Sunday Mass liturgy? That's right: it was Psalm 85, the chapter from which this story takes its name! The full verse, one of my favorites in the Bible, is Psalm 85:10, "Love and truth will meet; justice and peace will kiss."

I also want to share a recommendation for my readers: if you like Reylo and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, you will probably enjoy Loki on Disney+, if you haven't seen it already. I gave it a try specifically because so many Star Wars fans on Twitter were comparing it to the sequel trilogy, and it did not disappoint! If you can spot the season finale reference in this chapter, yes, that was a conscious choice, but only because it seemed to fit.