When he thought of the past he saw wasted drops of time that had given him little pleasure. He'd toiled hard at Pemberley and had succeeded beyond his expectations. He'd rescued his cousin Anne from a miserable life and was delighted with how she had come into her own. He'd made an investment with the Gardiners and he was now realizing a sizable profit. He was overjoyed at the young lady that Georgianna was becoming. He knew that other men envied him and he should be happy but the opposite was true. What were his triumphs when he had no one to share them?
He tried to focus on what he'd been doing for all these years and if he had ever come close to happiness or had he become so jaded that all the dinners and balls and all of the beautiful women he had met simply could not tempt him? Had he missed a moment in time when he could have found some joy in his life instead of the misery that colored his every waking moment?
How he wished he had Bingley's open disposition. Bingley didn't even try to deny what he was looking for. He wanted a wife and children and he was sure he had finally found it in a country girl and he meant to have her. Was it really that simple? He himself had always accepted that if and when he decided to join a woman in matrimony she would be of the ton with name and fortune. Yet here he was mooning over a country girl.
He stopped short and stood leaning against a tree. Had that thought actually crossed his mind? Was he mooning over a country girl? Elizabeth, she of those beautiful dark eyes. He remembered the smell of her as he had walked beside her into Meryton. She smelled nothing like Caroline Bingley whose scent was so heavy and redolent of musk. Elizabeth smelled of country flowers, light and delicate. Her skin was so clear and soft, he'd had the urge to reach out and touch her face. He smiled at the thought. Was this how Bingley felt when he had that dazed look on his face?
What exactly was happening to him? He'd walked into an assembly hall not expecting anything but a dull night of dancing and insipid conversation. Then he saw her and from that moment on he could think of nothing else. He hadn't even spoken to her. How could she have bewitched him so?
So what happens now? He had a sudden urge to run and give himself time to think But run to where? Where could he go? To town? To Pemberley? He was entering unknown territory and he was unsure of himself for the first time in his life. He couldn't make any mistakes. He had never been in love and wasn't sure what the rules were. Did he simply let nature take it's course? Did he speak with Richard about the possible ramifications of such a choice? His family would disapprove of his choice but he was determined that if Elizabeth would have him nothing would stand in his way. He groaned, marveling at how quickly his mind was moving, first from courtship to marriage in one mighty leap.
A sudden thought gave him pause. What if she wouldn't have him...if he decided he wanted her? How exactly did two people come together? His head began to ache. He supposed he had to make the first move. But how? He wished he'd paid more attention to Bingley and his wooing though he couldn't see himself copying his friend's courtship. He did, after all, have his dignity. He laughed out loud at how his dignity had been suffering since he'd first laid eyes on Elizabeth. He was sure she thought him a buffoon.
He blushed remembering their introduction at Longbourn...was it only yesterday...and how he had stood up like a startled colt, dropping his hat, then fumbling for it like a schoolboy. And he thought Bingley was comical! Elizabeth was so small and dainty..he felt like oaf standing next to her...especially when she smiled at him. He groaned in misery. It was all so hopeless. He was sure he couldn't survive. What had she done to him?
He finally turned back towards Netherfield dreading the day ahead. There were several letters from his steward which needed a reply but the thought of spending hours in Bingley's study attending to estate matters depressed him. But what else could he do? He could go shooting or play billiards or darts. But he wanted none of it.. He wanted nothing more than to spend the day with Elizabeth. Perhaps the rest of his life with her. The thought terrified him. When he reached the house he headed straight to his room and threw himself on the bed. Moments later he fell into a deep sleep.
After a quick bath Darcy slowly descended the stairs and entered the drawing room. He noticed that Richard and Anne were deep in conversation and seemed to be enjoying themselves. Guy and Josh were standing at the window quietly talking, and Louisa looking a little upset sat quietly talking to her husband. Bingley was sitting in the corner staring off in space. Caroline Bingley was nowhere in sight.
Bingley looked up and saw Darcy standing in the doorway. "There you are," he said. "I was afraid you were going to miss lunch."
"I needed the sleep. So how was your morning?"
"Better than yours, I dare say. We spent the morning walking through the countryside with Miss Lucas and Misses Jane and Elizabeth Bennett."
"It must have been a very pleasant walk with three such lovely ladies. Did you have a chance to speak privately with Miss Jane Bennett?"
"Not as much as I would have liked, but I thinks she likes me."
"How can you tell?" Darcy asked curiously.
Bingley looked blank. "You just know."
"You just know? And that's your answer? You just know? And how many times in the past have you just known that a lady liked you?
"Well, I..."
"Perhaps you should write a book, Bingley. Call it 'Bingley's Guide To The Bachelor." Darcy shook his head in mock dismay bringing a smile to both friends. "You just know! Will that be the first chapter or the last?"
A minute later, Darcy's smile faded as Caroline Bingley entered the room. She immediately approached Darcy and clutched his arm, "lunch is served," she cried gaily.
Darcy escorted her to the head of the table then took a seat as far away as possible.
As soon as everyone was served, Caroline addressed Darcy with a gloating smile, "I trust you haven't changed your mind about attending the Lucas party tonight, Mr. Darcy."
"No, Miss Bingley. I can assure you I haven't changed my mind about tonight."
"That's very wise of you as there's rather a malicious rumor going around and your appearance might lend credence to it."
Darcy sighed knowing she expected him to ask what the rumor was? He disappointed her and stopped the gloating smile "And from whom have you heard this rumor?" he asked.
"Well, I can't really remember since it seems to be in general circulation. I may have just overheard it."
"From your maid, no doubt," Mr. Hurst chuckled. "You pay her enough for every rumor she brings to you."
"Really?" Richard said. "What's the current price of a rumor?"
"I think," said Guy, "that rumors should be free. What's your opinion, Miss De Bourgh?"
"My mother," Anne replied, "would never countenance paying for a rumor. She is excessively attendant to all these things."
Darcy and Richard shared a smile at Anne's perfect imitation of her mother.
By now, Caroline was gnashing her teeth, much to the amusement of the entire room. But she would have her way. "They say," she said, "that Mrs. Bennett is already making wedding plans for Mr. Darcy and Miss Jane Bennett."
There was a deafening silence at this information. Darcy felt his face flush. "That's utter nonsense! And it would behoove you Miss Bingley, not to repeat such hogwash."
"I am the soul of discretion, I assure you, Mr. Darcy."
"Really, Miss Bingley?" Anne said not attempting to hide her disapproval. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but by my count there are thirteen people in this room that have now heard this rumor."
"I've only told eight people," Caroline replied with a supercilious sniff.
"So the rumor that you don't consider servants as people is true?"
Darcy glanced around the room. Indeed, there were four servants standing at their stations.
Caroline glared at Anne, "Servants are trained not to listen to their betters."
Anne rolled her eyes, "enlighten me, Miss Bingley, how do they determine who their betters are?"
Hurst whooped in glee and Louisa touched his arm in warning.
Lunch was completed quickly as no one seemed to have much appetite. Caroline had a way about her that tended to stifle the very air in a room. Few conversations were started and those few were instigated by Miss Bingley. Any replies she received were brief and indifferent until she finally gave up and lapsed into silence completely unaware that she was responsible for the gloom that had descended the room.
Bingley ate in stony silence and Guy and Josh seemed uneasy. Richard couldn't keep his eyes off his cousin Anne who never looked up from her plate. Darcy sighed, regretting the letter sent to his sister. Bringing his sister into this atmosphere would be a mistake but he didn't know how to rescind the invitation without hurting Bingley's feelings.
During port, Guy and Josh announced their intention of departing for London in the morning. They wanted to spend a brief week in Town before returning to their estates.
This announcement didn't surprise Darcy; he had been expecting it. Their courtships of the ladies of Meryton had been
languid at best. They knew that marriage could not be contemplated. They had to marry for money; anything less was
unacceptable.
Bingley was upset and tried to talk them into at least another week. "I know my sister is impossible" he said "but I would
hate to think she's chased you away."
Guy spoke quickly, "it isn't your sister, Charles, it's Miss Jane Bennett. Josh and I can see the way the land lies. It's time to retreat and let you have the field."
Josh laughed, "one thing Richard taught me during my stint in the army. When the battle is lost, run like hell!"
"And how will marriage suit you, Bingley?" Guy asked
Bingley blushed, "first she has to say yes."
"First you have to ask her," Darcy said. "When you write your book, you must have a chapter on proposing to an angel."
Richard laughed, "you're writing a book? "
Bingley grinned, "that's just your cousin's warped sense of humor."
After lunch it was decided that the men would ride into Meryton and check out the different shops. Once they arrived in town, Richard, Guy and Josh stopped at the saddlery shop while Darcy and Bingley continued down the street.
"Is the rumor true, Darcy?" Bingley asked.
"I don't know about the rumor, Bingley, but I can assure you that I have been in the company of Miss Jane Bennett for no more that five minutes. I can also assure you that I have absolutely no interest in your Miss Bennett. I might also add that during those five minutes she showed no interest in me and couldn't get out of my company soon enough. I trust you believe me."
Bingley nodded, "of course I do. Apparently Mrs. Bennett believes you to be a better choice for her eldest daughter."
"Charles, don't make the mistake of thinking Mrs. Bennett has a rational thought in her head. She's simply is a very greedy woman. At the assembly all she could talk about was your five thousand a year. Apparently she's heard of my ten thousand and has let her imagination soar. Don't let it bother you." Darcy paused for a moment choosing his words carefully. "It's Caroline you should be worried about."
Bingley sighed. "I know. She seems determined to be displeased with everything and everyone. Once she realizes that I'm dead serious about Jane she'll raise the royal roof and I just don't know how I'm going to deal with it short of sending her back to London."
"You're going to have to give it a lot of thought. If Miss Bennett consents to be your wife she will in essence be putting her life into your hands. Her allegiance will no longer be to her family but will be to you. In exchange for this gift, you will be responsible for her happiness and wellbeing. Always make her know that she is the most important person in the world to you. To do less will make you both unhappy. And don't forget, Bingley, nothing is to be compared to the misery of being bound without love. That is a punishment which you do not deserve. So don't rush it. With Guy and Josh gone, take things slowly. Don't rush her. Let nature take it's course."
Darcy was struck by the irony of his own words. Who was he to be advising Bingley about his love life when he was so at sixes and sevens about his own love life? But on reflection, Darcy thought his advice made sense. Just follow his inclinations and see where it would lead him.
The door to the haberdashery swung open and out stepped the two eldest Bennett sisters and Darcy felt his heart skip a beat. He expected to see Miss Elizabeth that night at Lucas Lodge and had the rest of the afternoon to prepare himself. His mind raced as he searched for something intelligent to say.
A soldier resplendent in his red coat and flashing that charming smile that Darcy rather hoped he would never see again stepped out the door obviously following the ladies.
Darcy stood immobile and in absolute shock as he recognized George Wickham. He felt the blood draining from his face as he stared at his old enemy. How had he come to be in this small village and how was it that he was in the company of Elizabeth and Jane?
Those two ladies noticed Darcy and Bingley first and moved towards them offering relieved smiles. "How nice to see you again so soon, Mr. Bingley," Jane said softly.
Elizabeth moved to Darcy's side almost as if seeking protection."
Darcy spared her a brief glance before taking a step towards Wickham.
Wickham's eyes widened upon seeing Darcy but he quickly brought himself under control and approached Darcy with an outstretched hand which Darcy ignored. Wickham grinned at the snub. "So, Darcy," what brings you to this little village in the back of nowhere? Slumming?"
"You would know more about slumming, Wickham," Darcy replied calmly.
Wickham smiled, "well, I can see you haven't changed, Darcy. Still the stiff and proud master of Pemberley."
Darcy's mouth tightened in irritation. He dared a brief glance in Elizabeth's direction and saw that she was studying the scene curiously. Jane Bennett was staring at Bingley with a shy smile. Darcy looked away and up the street seeing Richard striding towards them. He could see Richard taking in the scene and took a deep breath waiting for what might come next.
"Well, if it isn't George Wickham," Richard cried. "I thought you had become a professional gambler though I never did think much of your card playing."
Wickham smiled uneasily, "you can't believe everything you hear, Colonel Fitzwilliam. "
Richard laughed hardily, "don't be so modest, Wickham. You've worked hard at your reputation." Richard gave Wickham a hardy slap on the back "Enjoy it, you rogue!" He turned and beckoned to Guy and Josh. "Guy!" he called. "Come meet George Wickham. How come you to tell me that he'd been killed in his last duel. He looks lively enough to me."
Guy played along, "I only said that he'd been seriously wounded, Richard. You never listen to me."
Josh joined in, "which duel are you talking about? He's had several. How are you, Wickham? Did you ever finish Cambridge? You seemed to disappear during your last year."
Wickham ignored their sallies and remained silent.
"So," Richard said, "I understand that Colonel Forster will be trying to get you men in shape. Colonel Forster and I are old buddies. I look forward to renewing our friendship now that he'll be stationed here in Meryton." He threw a look at Wickham that left that man with no delusion of what Richard's intentions were. By the time Colonel Fitzwilliam was finished with him, his reputation would be in tatters.
By the time Wickham was able to get away his face was flushed with anger much to Richard's amusement. "I suppose," he said," that we should warn the tradesmen not to give him any credit."
Darcy nodded absently and glanced at Elizabeth who was eying Richard with a smile
Richard suddenly addressed both ladies. "Ah the lovely Misses Bennetts! How well you both look."
Elizabeth responded with a laugh. "We are quite well, Colonel Fitzwilliam. I must say I can't remember when I've been more entertained on the streets of Meryton."
"Indeed, Richard, I believe you outdid yourself," Darcy drawled.
Richard laughed, then bowed to the ladies. "Come on," he said to Guy and Josh. "We can get a good hour of shooting in. "How about you, Darcy, Bingley?"
Darcy and Bingley shook their heads and watched their friends hurry back to their horses.
Bingley immediately offered his arm to Jane Bennett, and led her down the street chatting happily.
Darcy took a deep breath and looked for an escape route. He wondered dimly what Elizabeth would think if he turned tail and loped down the street. He smiled at the thought, then glanced at her. To his surprise she was looking at him with a faint smile. "Dare I ask how much of what Colonel Fitzwilliam accused Mr. Wickham of was true?"
Darcy considered his answer, "well," he finally allowed, "you may have seen the last of Mr. Wickham. He might find the company at Netherfield oppressive. We know him too well."
"I see."
"I hope he isn't a friend of yours."
"Not at all. He accosted us in the shop oozing charm. He offered to buy us ribbons which we declined. He became insistent and my sister and I left immediately and he followed us leaving behind a track of slime."
Darcy laughed at her apt description. "He would be surprised to hear you say so."
Elizabeth smiled in amusement. "That would not surprise me. But I must say, it was truly a relief to see you and Mr. Bingley. This is a poor start to the Militia's arrival in town. I will have to speak with my father as well as my younger sisters."
Darcy and Elizabeth began to follow Bingley and Miss Bennett towards the road that led to Longbourn. Every once in a while he caught a whiff of her scent and he dared steal a glance at her. He was falling under her spell and he knew it and though it still frightened him he also felt something pleasant in the pit of his stomach.
Perhaps Bingley had the right idea. Just let nature take it's course and see where it led him. He offered Miss Elizabeth his arm which she took willingly. The sight of her small hand resting on his arm filled him with a pleasure he had never known. He was lost and in that instant knew it.