"So," Lee said, as the bedroom door clicked shut behind them. "Was it as bad as you thought?"
"What?"
"The day. Was it so terrible?"
Amanda laughed. "It was wonderful. I mean I thought it was going to implode a few times, but it turned out perfectly in the end. All thanks to you."
Lee rolled his eyes. "All I did was remember the diner was open. I can't believe Jack tried to pay for the whole thing." He moved across the room to the window as he spoke, drawing the curtains. It was just after midnight. The snow had stopped falling as they'd eaten dinner, and they'd driven home through a silent city, blanketed in white.
"I'm glad no one would let him," Amanda admitted. "And that he wasn't offended." She untucked her blouse from her jeans and unbuttoned the cuffs. "I hope Joe and Carrie are okay on the pull-out."
"They'll be fine," Lee said. "Joe isn't feeling any pain right now and I think Carrie's exhausted from all the trauma."
After dinner Joe and Carrie had come back to the house, along with Robert and Lillian and Francine and Billy, and the group picked up where they'd left off before dinner. They settled in clusters in the living room and kitchen — Jack and Dotty joined the boys and Libby in a game of Uno (which Jack groused was impossible after Jamie made him pick up four three times in a row); Amanda and Carrie filled plates with cookies and cups with wine and coffee and soda; Francine sat with Lillian, Billy, Robert, and Lee by the tree and periodically tried to get Amanda to sit down with them, which she finally did until Joe emerged from the living room, where he'd been calling hotels, and announced there was literally no room at any inn in town.
Lee was the one who stepped up this time, and suggested he and Carrie just stay put for the night. Amanda had bitten her lip to hide her surprise, but Joe hadn't quite managed to hide his.
"Are you sure?" he'd asked, frowning a little.
"Of course. I know the pull-out isn't that great but come on. You're not going to find a room tonight."
Everyone else had gotten a ride or driven home with someone else, depending on their state of sobriety. Francine was coming back the next morning for her car, catching a ride back with Lee's uncle. Jack had dropped Lillian and Dotty at Dotty's place, and they were coming back for breakfast, too. Billy had headed home early, hoping to catch an early flight. Phillip had walked Libby home, and come back to announce she was coming over again first thing as well.
Amanda unfastened her necklace and coiled it neatly in her jewelry box. "I can't believe Mother and Jack took that turkey with them."
"I bet they forget it in the trunk of Jack's car."
"Oh gosh, I hope not. It'll freeze again and it'll take a whole day to cook." She sighed. "Are we really going to have everyone back here the day after tomorrow to do it all again?"
"Yes, and you get that full house you like so much." He smirked a little as he said it.
Amanda unclipped her hair and ran her fingers through it, sighing at the sensation. "I'm sorry," she said, "I know you don't like it as much as I do."
"I don't mind it," he said.
"You don't?"
He shook his head, unfastening his watch and setting it on the shelf above the bathroom sink. "I mean, deep down I'd rather have you all to myself — or even just have our family here — but I know you love a big crowd at Christmas and I can kind of understand why."
"You can?"
"Yeah." He came to stand close to her, his hand warm on her waist.
"Well, I just don't like seeing people lonely, is all." She ducked her head. "I probably shouldn't be such a control freak about it."
He'd teased her about that the year before, when she'd fretted over getting everything done in time. And then he'd gone out and bought all the sides so she didn't have to cook, and she'd secretly been furious at first. Who would make the carrots Phillip liked, or Aunt Lillian's favorite dish? It turned out Phillip didn't care, and Dotty made Lillian's dish anyway, and Amanda ended the day without feeling completely exhausted.
"You just want it to be nice for everyone. That's all."
"Maybe. But sometimes I think it's because I know what it feels like to be lonely, too."
He frowned, and she hurried to explain.
"Not now. I used to be. I mean… we almost never had big Christmases all together. Not after Daddy died. Joe was away most years, and it was just me and Mother, and…." She sucked in a deep breath, surprised by how much she felt like crying suddenly, and fiddled with a button on his shirt. "I wanted the boys to have good memories, you know? Even if everyone they loved wasn't there, or I couldn't afford the presents they wanted. So I guess I filled the day with all these things — the food, and the activities, and other people, too — All this stuff, so they wouldn't notice so much."
She expected him to tell her she was silly, but he didn't. He kissed her forehead, then her cheek. "I get it. But I think they still have good memories. Even of today."
'Like that huge fight at their grandmother's," she said, wryly.
"Like me trying to bribe the Chinese restaurant to bump up our order."
"The oven exploding," she said, laughing now.
"Phillip shooting lime rickey out of his nose."
Amanda shook her head. "That was revolting. I think he ruined that shirt."
"Well it didn't seem to affect Libby's opinion of him, so he probably doesn't care." He leaned in to kiss her again, this time on the mouth. "Anyway, it really was great today. I might tease you about being a control freak but the way you bring everyone together is one of my favorite things about you. You can even get dyed-in-the-wool hermit types to join in."
"You aren't sad we didn't get to eat leftovers on the couch?"
"Nah." He grinned. "We'll get our night." Joe and Carrie wanted to take the boys for a few days, possibly skiing, so the odds of Lee getting his Christmas wish were pretty good. The cashew chicken was gone, though. She'd caught Phillip dipping into it just before bed.
He kissed her again, and she slid her arms around his neck. Maybe they could swing New Year's Eve alone, she thought. Just the two of them, in a quiet house, with the still-unopened Christmas champagne he'd stashed away.
Her thoughts — and any further kisses — were interrupted by a massive yawn, the kind that took over her entire body.
"Sorry," she said, pressing her face against his shoulder. "It's been a long day. I'm full of wine and L-Tryptophan."
"Me too," he admitted, laughing softly. He kissed the top of her head and went to put on his pajamas. She followed, slipping into her nightgown and brushing her teeth, washing her face and crawling under the covers.
Lee flicked off the light and settled down on the pillows, reaching to slide an arm around Amanda. She wriggled closer to him on the bed, tucking her head under his chin.
She was almost asleep. She was tired right to her bones, and she'd eaten too much, and she should never have had two glasses of wine and that port, but she'd made it through. They all had somehow, without any fights (Joe's didn't count) or tears (though she'd come close). It was done, another one on the books, and who knew what the rest of the holidays would bring.
The rest of the holidays.
Her eyes flew open suddenly and every muscle in her body tensed. "Lee," she said.
"Hmmm?" He was almost asleep, his arms warm around her, his breathing deep and even.
"What are we going to feed them all in the morning?"