A/N: More insight on Mal's friends and Kim and Jared and their relationship to Mallory. Hope you enjoy this one!

Ch. 4:

"So it's not genuine at all," my friend Sydney said, distrustful of anything to do with Paul. She munched on her grilled cheese sandwich in the cafeteria and stared at me, vexed.

"No it is," I continued to press, trying to explain our agreement to my friends, Sydney and Olivia. We were joined by Caroline, who seemed a little bit less sullen in the days since Sunday, but not completely out of her funk. "I've heard a couple of the apologies and they do seem sincere. Like really from his heart. They are very specific to each girl."

"But he's only doing it so he can go out with you. He's not really sorry. And he wouldn't be apologizing if he weren't tempted by you… why is he tempted by you, Mal? You hate him," she piped.

My face scrunched, as that perplexed me too. "I'm not sure," I blurted out quickly and then went back to the first part of her statement. "And I agree he is externally motivated to physically give the apologies… but if you listen to him, Syd, he is sorry. And maybe it does mean something to some of the girls? Right, Caroline?" I looked over at my other friend. She held her hand on her chin and looked at me.

"I mean, it doesn't erase the pain," she said slowly. "But I guess it did make me feel less like shit…that he took responsibility, it wasn't all on me for being an idiot, and he does actually realizes he was wrong…" she trailed off a bit before saying, "that going through this whole process… maybe he won't do it again?" She shrugged. "I still wouldn't be caught dead with him." They all looked at me.

"It's a group thing with my sister and Quil and maybe some others. It's just so he'd actually do this. It's clear to me now he is sorry. I'm not even sure if he knew before Caroline's apology, but he definitely knows now…"

"Shit, three o'clock," said Olivia. I turned around to see Paul make his way through the cafeteria… with banana bread?

"Hey, Mal," he looked at me a bit bewildered, must have crossed a few names off today. He tilted his head to my friends, specifically Olivia who was his conquest last April. "Ugh, Hey Olivia. Um, I baked you some banana bread… he handed her a loaf covered in plastic wrap on a paper plate.

"Uhh… did you make this?" She asked, taking the baked-good from him, totally baffled.

"Yeah. I was thinking for a while last night about something nice I could do for you. I mean I know it's not much and doesn't compare at all to what I did to you last year… but I remembered when we went to P of A that one time you loved the banana bread, so it's just a really small gesture," he stammered. Paul was not one to stammer. This was clearly getting to him.

"You're giving me homemade banana bread?" She said, completely perplexed. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Olivia. I was a complete dick to you. I used you and then after didn't consider your thoughts or feelings at all. It was mean and heartless and you deserved none of that. And I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner. I knew it was wrong and convinced myself an apology didn't matter. Because I was too afraid to give it. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I wanted to let you know how wrong I was about everything."

We all sat there a little stunned. Olivia gulped and seemed to acknowledge his words, if nothing else. Paul looked at Syd, whose face was unreadable. Her apology would clearly be another day. Paul looked back at Olivia again and then slowly moved his hands away from the table, and left.

Olivia started to eat the banana bread as Sydney's eyes blazed at her.

"What?!" She squealed back. "I really like banana bread," We all stared at her. Olivia rolled her eyes. "I mean, it was a long time ago. He was a dick, but shit happens. It was nice to hear him say sorry."

I breathed a sigh of relief, stood up and jogged over to Paul. I placed my hand on his shoulder. He softened at my touch and turned around slowly to greet my eyes. They were glistening. Almost wet. He shook his head and seemed to regain his composure.

"Thank you, Paul," I said almost in a whisper. "I think that actually meant something to Olivia." He nodded his head at me and lightly curled his lips upwards. Was it possible that all this meant something to him too?

—

Later that day I sat in my room trying to prepare for our first "date."

Motorcycle. Motorcycle. I thought, getting clothes out from my closet and laying them on the bed. I had never been on a motorcycle, and while I was intrigued by the idea, I was still suspicious of the driver.

"Why can't we all just drive in Jared's truck?!" I yelled out to my sister.

"Cause Paul wants to take you on his motorcycle." Jared chirped gleefully, sticking his head into my doorway, beaming like a buffoon.

"Don't you have a home? Why are you always here?" I asked him, looking at his dopey grin.

Ugh, Jared. For years he was like some mythical creature that only existed in fairytales. Kim would talk about him all the time, but we never saw him and she would never dare interact with him. She was obsessed with the idea of him, like a 6 year old might be obsessed with unicorns because they're beautiful and mysterious. And now here he was in the flesh, constantly. Something sudden happened last year. Kim was too scared to ever actually tell him how she felt for forever, secretly pining away after him in the form of long stares and personal fantasies. Then one day he showed up for dinner and never left.

Kim and I were born 14 months apart, and in many ways I felt like the older sister. To anyone who knew us, I was the self-assured sister and she was the timid one. I had most of the big firsts before her. I lost my first tooth before she did. I went to sleep away camp first as she was too scared to go. I had my first kiss likely years before hers. And when I started dating Max at the beginning of my sophomore year and decided to have sex with him, she was still in fantasy land over Jared and had never been kissed. Still, we were sisters and shared 50 percent of the same DNA. I loved her and wanted to be close to her. And there was one clear first that she beat me on: falling in love.

Jared sauntered into my room and plopped down on my bed. He flashed a cheesy smile at me, something clearly was going on in that asinine brain of his. In the whole year they'd been together, I don't think he ever set foot into my room. He started fishing through the clothes I had laid out on my bed.

"These for sure and this. He'll like this," he said, sorting through my clothes, his hand running down the fabric of a pair of jeans on the bed. "He'll think the leather jacket is for sure super sexy. He's into that shit," He set aside a pair of ripped jeans, a black tank top and my black leather jacket.

"What the actual fuck, Jared? Are you dressing me now? And I don't give a fuck what he'll like or think is sexy. I don't dress for dudes and I'm not interested in getting my heart trampled on by Paul with some herpes on the side." I was back to the old STD trope again.

Why was I being so defensive, I thought.

Kim rolled into my room and let out a single and dramatic "Ha!". "Isn't it pretty clear by now that he isn't planning to behave like that any more. I don't think his heart could stand it, Mal."

I straightened up a bit. "Well, good, if that's the case, but I am still not interested and I certainly don't care what he thinks about my clothes or how I look. I'm just doing this so he'll finish with the apologies."

They both looked at me. "So not going to wear this?" Kim gestures towards the bed at Jared's selection. I rolled my eyes at her and shoved them both out of my room. I put on the opposite of what Jared picked out, a yellow sundress. There was a slight knock at my door.

"Seriously, Kim. Leave me be," I hollered.

The door slowly crept open.

"Mom?!" I said, her head poking in.

"Kim said you were going to go out with some of her friends tonight." I sat on the bed and nodded at her. The dress rode up. This wouldn't work on a motorcycle at all.

"Honey, you'll freeze in that. Put on the jeans and jacket you have set out on the bed," I give a resigned sigh

"Okay, mom," I said, annoyed that Jared would likely gloat later.

"I'm so glad you girls are spending time together outside the house. Have fun, ok sweetie!" she chimed. Doubtful, I thought.