A/N: I love it when anybody takes time to review, even if it's just to say LOL, but I especially appreciated Loriel Eris on that last one. Welcome, and thanks!

Ch 10

Teal'c entered the infirmary and smiled pleasantly at Dr. Fraiser. "Good afternoon, Dr. Fraiser."

"Hi, Teal'c, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering when Major Carter, Daniel Jackson, and Colonel O'Neill will return."

"They should be back soon, they said after lunch… I wonder how it went. They've taken much longer than I expected. I hope nothing went wrong," Janet said, frowning.

She did not have long to worry, because the missing members of SG-1 entered. They all looked pretty tired. Jack was carrying at least twelve bags. Sam was carrying the diaper bag and Danny, who was sound asleep. They looked exhausted, a little wrinkled, and sported a few stains here and there, but they looked happy.

"Hey, there you are, we were just wondering when you'd turn up," Janet said, following Teal'c over to them. They helped take some of their purchases.

"There's more in the truck," Jack said.

"I will take Daniel Jackson to the VIP suite and put him in his crib for a nap. I shall stand guard over him while he sleeps so that you may work for the remainder of the day."

Janet smiled. There were many things about that sentence she never expected to hear Teal'c say. "Oh… yeah," Sam said hesitantly, looking down at the head on her shoulder. "Thanks, Teal'c. I do have a lot of work to do… but maybe I should go with you and put him down, you know, so we don't wake him up."

Teal'c tilted his head with a small smile. "Excellent idea, Major Carter. Allow me to take your diaper bag."

Sam and Teal'c went down to the VIP room while Jack started helping Janet go through the bags of stuff they'd bought to see what should go where.

Sam carefully put Danny down in the pack-and-play, covered him with his new dinosaur blanket, and put the stuffed triceratops in the crib with him. He just looked so angelic when he was sleeping. She stroked his hair and kissed his head, then noticed Teal'c watching her carefully and blushed slightly, feeling ridiculous.

"As I believe I have said before, Major Carter, you would make an excellent mother."

"Oh please, Teal'c. I can barely get the diapers to stay on and I'm still too scared to go near a dirty one," she said with a dismissive shrug. "I've got to get to the lab."

vvvvvvvvvv

Around five, Sam called it quits for the day in the lab and went to the infirmary, expecting Danny to be there with Janet.

"Hey, Sam."

"Hey Jan. Where's Danny?"

"I assume he's still with Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill. They haven't even brought him by for a change."

"Wow, that's… odd."

"Maybe Colonel O'Neill's lost all track of time playing with all those new toys you guys bought."

"That's… actually a definite possibility," Sam agreed, laughing. "Want to come find out with me?"

"Absolutely."

As they approached the VIP suite they knew they were right. The door was only partially closed, and they peeked around the corner to see what was going on. Danny was sitting on the floor, his back to them, shrieking with laughter.

Jack was… putting on a show, for lack of a better phrase. To a captive little audience of one. Teal'c was sitting close by as well. Jack had a Barbie (some of the people had brought some rather strange toys up for Danny to play with - things either way too old or young for him, or things typically for girls) in one hand and GI Joe in another. A mechanical puppy that barked and did back flips was on the floor in front of him, along with a Hero Turtle.

They had the basketball goal set up - only sideways and without the net, so it was just a big hoop sitting vertically on the ground. "That looks kind of like a Stargate," Sam whispered to Janet, who shushed her promptly as Jack began speaking once Danny's laughter died down.

Jack picked up the puppy and started talking really fast in a slightly nasal voice. "Look how amazing this planet is you guys. I'm going to take all these really old rocks home and add them to my collection of really old rocks. Hey, does anybody remember that civilization in Mesopotamia that's been dead for thousands of years?"

He set the dog down quickly and picked up the GI Joe again. "Forcryinoutloud just pick up your rocks so we can go home. There's nothing here but trees and bugs."

Then he put on a ridiculously high-pitched voice, picked up the Barbie, and said, "Actually sir according to these readings there are naquada deposits all over the place. I'll need to take lots of samples while keeping an eye out for the dangerous radiation levels from those three suns."

"I shall accompany you, Major Carter," said the Hero Turtle in a very deep voice.

"My knee hurts," GI Joe contributed.

"Hey, did anybody hear that?" the puppy asked.

"It sounded like APOPHIS," GI Joe said, while Jack looked to Teal'c pointedly.

Teal'c made the remote control T-Rex walk towards the miniature SG-1, making it roar as well. The lights flashed and made an electronic beeping sound. "KREE!" Teal'c bellowed. "I am Apophis."

Janet had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing out loud. "I will imprison you all. Even you, Teal'c - the strongest First Prime I ever had."

Jack made the puppy say, "Oh no what are we gonna do?"

Then he picked up GI Joe and barked, "Carter, think of something!"

The Barbie went over to the 'Stargate' and said, "If we all apply as much force as possible from the same direction and have enough leverage, and calculate the distance between Apophis and the Stargate, factoring in the size of the gate and allowing for…"

"CARTER!" GI Joe barked.

All of mini-SG-1 made their way rather jauntily to the back of the gate, while Teal'c continued to march the dinosaur towards them, saying, "KREE! You will worship me and bring me snacks. I require a new hat as well."

"Now!" Barbie-Carter exclaimed. Hero-Turtle-Teal'c knocked over the Stargate and 'flattened' T-Rex Apophis with it.

"Once again you have thwarted me!" Teal'c cried. "You are truly the bravest and most formidable warriors I have ever encountered. I am no match for you."

"Apophis, KREE!" Jack made the Hero Turtle yell. Then he set the flipping puppy next to the dinosaur, positioned it so that it would flip over on top of the dead-dinosaur-Apophis, and turned it on.

"Just another day in the life of SG-1," Barbie-Carter declared as the puppy yipped mechanically and crashed into the T-Rex. The real Carter couldn't help notice that every time her CO did his little Barbie-Carter voice that he made it higher and higher.

"Yes. Let's go home and eat some cake!" GI Joe declared.

"The end!" Jack declared in his normal voice.

Danny started clapping loudly, giggling. Sam and Janet joined in the clapping, pushed open the door, and entered the room.

Jack looked absolutely terrified at being caught playing. "Er… exactly how long have you ladies been standing there?" he asked.

"Long enough to know that you won't be winning any Oscars this year, Colonel," Janet told him.

"Maybe a Daytime Emmy though," Sam said, still laughing. She was glad Janet had witnessed that with her - she doubted anybody would believe her otherwise.

"Smart-ass," Jack grumbled, clearly embarrassed.

"Ummmmm," Danny said, pointing at Jack. Sam sat down behind Danny and pulled him into her lap.

Janet perched behind them on the coffee table as Jack casually said, "Well, Teal'c. They've seen us. Now, unfortunately, we have to kill them."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

Sam laughed and ruffled Danny's hair. "How long have you been up?"

"Longtime," he answered. "Dack and Tea are funny!"

"Yeah, they're a hoot and a holler," Janet agreed.

vvvvvvvvvv

After dinner in the commissary, SG-1 went back to the VIP room. Teal'c sat on the floor with Danny and they started playing with the Duplo blocks they had bought earlier. While Danny was otherwise occupied, Jack turned to his 2IC. "We're really going to have to pass Danny around a lot tomorrow. Teal'c and I have training with the new recruits, and Hammond wants you back on your regular duties - he's decided there's nothing else anybody but the linguists can do with the trunk for the time being."

"Yes, sir," Sam grumbled. She didn't like being taken off of the assignment - even though it wasn't her area of expertise at all. She still felt like she owed it to Daniel to be working on it. Well, she did have the surface scans on her laptop... if she disconnected from the base mainframe, what the General didn't know couldn't hurt him, right?

"And just a warning - he still keeps trying to get to his office."

Janet showed up and offered to take Danny for a bath before she went home for the evening. They accepted quickly - there was something weird about bathing one of their team-mates, even if he was currently two and a half years old. They were much more comfortable leaving that up to the doctor.

They straightened up the room while Danny was gone, and Teal'c once again retired to his own quarters for the evening. Once they were alone, Sam turned to Jack and said, "I got you something."

"Oh yeah?"

"At the toy store," she added, going over to the drawer where she had hidden the game and pulling it out, but keeping it behind her back. Jack rocked onto his feet off the sofa and approached her with an intrigued smile.

"Why did you…"

"Well, I er… saw it when you were changing Danny and it was too perfect to pass up."

"Ah, so this is payment for the dirty diaper." He tried to peer around her to see what she was hiding, but she turned along with him so that he couldn't see.

"It's kind of silly really," Sam said, suddenly feeling shy about the way the simple gift was getting blown out of proportion. She gave up evading him and let him snag the box behind her back.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed when he saw the box. "Carter, this is awesome! I didn't even know they made this. Thanks. Want to play?"

"Sure."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

When Janet brought them a sleepy Daniel in his new footy pajamas (the white ones with the dinosaur pattern,) they were in the middle of a game of Simpsons chess. Sam was finding the fact that all the pieces were Simpsons characters distracting. Especially because Jack was doing dialogue from the show with captured pieces, in voice imitations that were somehow even worse than the ones he'd had earlier for his little toy SG-1.

"Oh, you guys are in the middle of something," Janet said when she saw what they were doing.

"That's okay, Janet, we can stop till he goes to sleep," Sam said, smiling at the sleepy boy in Janet's arms.

"I can put him to bed if you want," Janet offered instead. "I mean, I never took a turn with him today, except for his bath. I don't mind. I'll read him one of his new books. He's pretty sleepy already."

"Thanks, Doc."

"Sure, Colonel."

"After he goes to sleep we're going to put together his tricycle so we can give it to him in the morning," Sam added as she captured Jack's Bart. Janet put Danny down and he walked over to the little pile of books they had bought him. He rummaged through them, completely messing up the pile of course, and selected the large Egyptology book.

"Jack, look," Sam said quickly, nodding in Daniel's direction. He looked over at him as well and laughed: Danny could barely carry the large book but was struggling bravely. "Do you th…"

"Yeah, maybe," Jack agreed. "Or maybe he just likes the shiny cover."

"Jan, don't you think he's acting like he remembers things?" Sam asked, turning to get her friend's opinion. Janet, however, was obviously thinking about something else. She was looking back and forth between Jack and Sam incredulously. "What?" Sam finally asked nervously.

"I just… was surprised to hear you calling Colonel O'Neill 'Jack.'"

"Oh," Sam said, blushing. The alarming thing - to her - was that she hadn't even done it intentionally that time… after they were off-duty and around Danny it had just sort of happened. "It was confusing Danny, all the sirs, Colonels, and Carters," she explained quickly, pretending to return all of her concentration to the chess board.

"Of course," Janet said, taking the book Danny handed her. "Okay we're not going to read all of this, mister. Just for a little bit."

Danny ran over to the bed where he had left his dinosaur, and hugged it close to his body with one arm as he trotted back over to Janet.

"Whatcha got there, Danny?" Janet called, looking at the cute stuffy. It figured that Daniel at any age would like dinosaurs and books with mummies on the cover.

"Dino-saw," he explained, holding up the stuffy to show her.

"You are way too cute like this," Janet told him as he climbed back up into her lap.

Jack won the inaugural chess match with his new Simpsons set. When he finally captured Sam's Homer-King once and for all, he let out a triumphant crow that made Danny, who had just drifted off, jerk awake in Janet's lap and look over towards them in sleepy surprise.

"Colonel, please," Janet scolded.

"Sorry," Jack whispered, waving at Danny. "You just witnessed a historic event, buddy."

"Kay," Danny said around the thumb in his mouth before closing his eyes again, obviously not very impressed with Jack's chess skills.

Sam was still studying the chess board, working backwards to try to determine at what point she had messed up. "It's these silly pieces, they threw me off," she muttered to herself.

"Excuses, excuses. Let's get started on the trike."

"I can stay in here with Danny if you want to go put it together somewhere else," Janet offered.

"Really? That would be a lot easier, we wouldn't have to worry about being so quiet," Sam said.

"You don't mind, Doc?"

"Not at all. I'm happy to baby-sit."

"Yeah, especially when he's already asleep," Jack said as he got up to get the big box the tricycle came in.

vvvvvvvvvv

"Wow, I'm guessing that wasn't your first time putting one of those together," Sam commented. She had been expecting a long debate about using the directions and who got to actually assemble the tricycle, but once she had found the proper tools, the process had taken less than half an hour.

"Nope. Tricycles, bikes, Big Wheels, swing sets… you get the hang of it pretty fast." He pointed at the crumpled directions with the screwdriver in his hand and winked as he added, "It's not exactly rocket science."