A/N: Okay, just one chapter left of this story after this one and then an epilouge if anyone is reading. Debating if I should do a sex scene...likely in the epilogue. Feel right for this story? Thoughts.

Also, still debating doing a Jared and Kim prequal so I don't have to say good bye to Mallory. What do you think?

This chapter here gets a little (very light) steamy towards the end.

CH. 13

I was a mess after Syd left. Maybe I should have felt relieved, but instead I felt like I was just swimming in a sea of emotional bullshit. I desperately tried to get it together, but kept on failing and breaking down in disorganization. Kim clued in on what was going on and swarmed in to help me like the big sister I never knew I actually needed. She picked out a bikini for me to wear under my clothes and put some things in a bag, but I still couldn't collect my thoughts. I was waiting in the foyer for Paul when I heard a light knock on the front door. Like a maniac, I flung the door open and threw myself into his chest. My cheek went right against him. I needed to feel that warmth and comfort and I relaxed as his hands enveloped me into an embrace.

"Hey, Buttercup," His voice was soft and sweet, but with a twinge of nervous concern. He rubbed my back and pivoted his head, looking around for Jared and Kim to spill some more intel but they were nowhere to be seen. "What's goin on, baby?" His chin dipped down as he asked softy

"Syd came by…"

"Did she yell at you or talk any shit?" His voice became a little more deeper and direct.

"No. No. She just told me… she told me I'm not a shitty friend. And that she's going to therapy…"

"Oh. Well, that's good, right?"

"Yeah, I just —" I didn't fully know what to say here. It was a good thing. My friend was figuring out her shit and she was okay with me seeing Paul who caused all her shit. And this all left me feeling like shit. My whole identity was being a strong woman and supporting and protecting my female friends. Is it possible that support from one of them just brought me to my knees?

He held me tightly and I breathed him in.

"Hey, how about we raincheck the big date and we go up and snuggle in your bed?"

I looked up at him with wet eyes. "Really? You were so excited."

"I think it's better if we just take it easy and relax, Buttercup. Trust me?"

I did. I trusted him so completely and felt it through my whole body. I dropped the bag and he led us both upstairs. Paul closed the door, I turned off the overhead light and put on some Ani DiFranco music. As I pulled my cover back I saw him pull off his t-shirt, revealing his incredibly sculpted body.

"Is this ok?" he said, checking my comfort. "Ya know I run at 108 degrees. It gets toasty under a comforter." He smirked as his amber eyes glistened.

I just stood there, drooling like an idiot at the adonis before me. In the past I was attracted to guys because of their intellect and wit, or because of their sense of humor. I never went for the beautiful boys, maybe because I thought the beautiful boys would never go for me. I had learned that Paul was smart and clever, but it was also about how right he felt in my soul. He did check the other boxes, but he also made me feel so tingly.

Of course, I was realizing, it was a definite plus that he looked like a freakin' underwear model. Max and Ethan were sweet, but Paul made a rush run through my whole body, and I felt it most in my core. I was sweaty, throbbing and swollen just looking at him.

What the hell is that? Attraction? Arousal? Lust? Oh my God he is so unbelievably hot.

And then all I could think was:

You fucking hypocrite. Don't fucking obejectify him! He is more than his phenomenal body and delicious abs.

Paul could clearly tell I was facing an internal battle. "You good, Buttercup?"

Shit, Mallory, you're staring!

"Do you want me to put my shirt back on?" I shook my head no.

Please never put it back on.

He made his way into my bed shirtless and tapped the mattress to show he wanted me to join him in my twin bed. I still stood there like a frozen simpleton in a trance.

"Whatcha thinkin', Mal?" He crooned.

"Oh my gosh, Paul. So many thoughts." My eyes were definitely still glazed over.

Currently I was contemplating if I shouldI take my shirt off too. I wanted to, badly. I wanted to feel skin on skin and be close with him in that way. It was empowering. I had been naked in front of guys before, but for some reason this felt more real and raw. Paul didn't second guess baring his chest in front of me. He was confident in his feelings and his body. But despite my best efforts, feelings of insecurity crept in. They whispered in my ear: you have an awkward square body with crooked teeth and the sex god in your bed could be an underwear model.

This pounded like an avalanche: You don't physically match. He matches with leggy and curvy girls like Shalie or Candance. You match with round bodied Max or some other nerdy type of guy. Stay in your lane, Mallory.

I gulped in silence. Is the weird wolf magic the only reason Paul would possibly ever look twice at me? And then, with the voice of an angel I heard words that snapped me out of the horrid teenage girl self doubting cycle that I vowed to never find myself in.

"Get out of your head, baby. Come into my arms,"

Damn, that was sexy.

I shook my head and let those insecurities fall away. I clearly wasn't immune to them, despite my best efforts of convincing myself that I was. I tried to pump myself up.

He likes you for you. He wants you. Stop hiding and show all of you to him.

I took a deep breath and I pulled off the thin t-shirt I was wearing to reveal the bikini top I had underneath. His eyes widened at my movements.

"Mal, you don't have to…"

"I know, Paul. I want to." I slid in next to him and buried my face in his chest. I reached behind me and pulled the bow, tied the biking top and let it unravel. I wiggled out of it and then pressed my bare torso up against Paul, feeling skin on skin. He folded his head in the crook of my neck and rubbed his coarse hands up and down my exposed back and I felt each ripple on his side.

"You can look at me, if you want," I whispered into his ear.

"I want," he whispered back in his husky voice. I placed my hand on his shoulders and pushed back and let him look at me. He stared at my eyes for what seemed like forever, and then slowly looked down, his face folding into the sweetest smile. His hands slid from my back and moved toward my sides.

"Can I touch you with my hands?" he asked softly.

I nodded my head and closed my eyes and I became enraptured in that tingly feeling that slid over my body as his fingers grazed my skin.

"So fucking beautiful. All of you Mal. Every part of you."

He pulled me in closer and kissed my neck as Ani DiFranco's Little Plastic Castle was playing softly in the background.

"I like this weird fem indie shit you're playing." He resumed the full body massage and hugged me close.

"Really?" This surprised me.

"Yeah. Not my usual jam, but I like her voice. The instruments… How old is this?"

"90s. My mom plays it a lot." Then some silence and a full body rub that felt so good.

"Paul?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"How does it feel, now that it's over? All the apologies."

"Aw, man". He stopped himself and thought for a moment. "Well, kinda like a relief. But, at the same time I see all those girls differently now and I'm grateful for that."

I looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I mean, before… they were just in all one type of group - girls that I just had one purpose for, sex. I told myself they were all like my mom and would end up leaving me one day, so might as well do it myself sooner. But apologizing to all of them in a genuine way, I had to think about all of them, think back to our interactions and my actions. I mean it just made me think about people in a completely different way. Everyone's an individual, you know. And none of those girls deserved to be treated like shit. Not like that."

I pressed it to him, fully appreciating his words and new found respect.

"Now, my turn to ask a question," he didn't stop massaging me. His stroke seemed to loosen any tension in my body.

"Hmmm?"

"What were you thinking about before, Mal. Before you took off your shirt?"

"Oh, well. First I was realizing… how attracted I was to you," I pressed my hands across his chest. "And, then… I try not to be so typical and think about body insecurities… but seeing your perfect wolf magic body… it got to me a little bit. I mean I didn't think bodies existed like that in real life, Paul. I thought it was all good lighting on instagram and photoshop in magazines. But, anyway, I pushed past it. I want to show myself to you. I want to be intimate with you."

He pulled me back so he could look right into my eyes.

"Fuck that wolf magic shit, Mal. I thought you were a smoke show before the imprint. But it's not just your physical features that did it for me. And I think that's why I'm so fucking hoplessly attracted by you. And hopelessly in love with you."

I pressed my body up against Paul, and found his lips, kissing him so deeply and completely.