A/N:

Last chapter. Took me a while to get inspired, but I am pretty happy with it. What do you think?

*Full of steam, reader be warned.*

Next up is the epilogue. Please review!

Ch 15:

Our big date was rain checked for a week later.

Paul picked me up on his motorcycle and when he rolled down our driveway I was on the porch waiting for him, ready to hop on. Once on the back of his bike I let my hands circle his torso as I kissed his neck, his tanned skin leaning back into me. I loved being on the back of that fucking mototcycle in that moment, and the idea that once my body felt awkward on it was a forign concept.

This was the thing — When I was near Paul, next to Paul, in the moment with Paul, it felt so real and effortless. I felt myself, and it didn't matter if I could put words to who that was or who I was. I was just Mallory, riding with the guy she loved who loved her back and I didn't have to second guess anything.

"Ready, Buttercup?" he asked, and we were off on a winding and deserted road through the thick Washington forest. We climbed up a steep incline as the motorcycle pulled to a stop. I immediately recognized where we were.

"Back at the cliffs?" I said to him as I pulled off my helmet and swung my legs around the bike.

"Mmmhhhhh," he let out, lifting me off and setting me down, his large hands firm on my waist. This is the moment he should have let me go and explained what we were doing, but he just stood there for a bit, rubbing his hands back and forth on my hips and making my heart flutter so much I could hear it in my ears. The air was so fucking thick and his eyes bore into me like they could see right into my soul. I was entranced looking at him, letting my own cool hands settle on top of his. He was locked onto me, like a laser beam.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Mallory. Everything about you." I laughed nervously, noticing the muscles in the back of my neck were a bit stiff. His face twisted into a slight scowl. "That wasn't meant to be funny, baby." He pulled his head back to look at me. Paul spoke with a bit of hurt in his tone. I tried to brush it off.

"I just mean…" I stopped myself. It was that old thought. The same one I obsessed over in my bedroom. I laughed because he is the beautiful one.

And what? The thought of him calling me beautiful is so ridiculously laughable?

No, Mallery, no, I told myself. Let this guy love you and say you are beautiful. Love your fucking self in the process.

I gulped as he wrapped his arms around me. I tried to conjure the bold Mallory. I slowly rolled my chin up and stared back, straight into his glowing amber orbs.

"What's beautiful?" I challenged him with lustful eyes. He squinted a bit.

"You really want me to talk about it, Mal?" he asked with genuine surprise. "What about all the objectifying stuff… you're not just your body…" I cut him off.

"I know you love all of me, Paul. Not just parts. But I think… if we're doing this, if I'm your girlfriend and we're going to have this intimate relationship, maybe I need to hear how you want me…"

His eyes widened and then hooded as his coarse hands firmed their grip on me. He kissed my shoulder and then my neck and I just felt it. Felt him and his soft lips sliding over my skin. My eyelids closed as I breathed in the cool forest air and listened to the birds chirp and the waves haphazardly crash below us.

Paul pulled away to speak to me.

"Fuck, baby." He sliced in a breath. "I want you so fucking bad. Everything about you is beautiful," he then pulled me closer. "Your fuck me eyes you keep flashing over to me, the smell of your hair, your perfect fucking tits that you let me see the other night. I just want to spend hours with them in my mouth."

Well, this was something new.

Paul's words made a hot rush cascade over my body, leading down to my core. He looked at my flushed cheeks and he knew I was into his words. An impish smile spread on his face, revealing his beautifully white teeth. And then, in a snap, he totally fucking leaned into it and went for the kill.

"Your pussy," he whispered seductively into my ear. "We haven't been formally aquainted yet, but I have come to know the scent very well and I want to worship your fucking pussy, Mallory, in the most devout way possible."

Well, Holy Fucking Shit.

No one had ever spoken to me like that and I was trying to swallow how it turned me on to no end. I must have turned fire-engine red as he smiled at my reaction. It wasn't often that words rendered me silent, but now he clearly knew how to do it.

Goosebumps covered me and almost unknowingly I found myself crushed up to Paul's solid chest. Then, like a beacon calling me to do so, I slowly moved the lower half of my body back and forth against him, desperate to feel friction. Paul didn't seem too surprised by the reaction. Cool as a fucking cucumber he delicately guided my hips against his, allowing me to feel his hard length. And boy was it hard. This wasn't my first rodeo, I had been intimate with guys before, been bold and the instigator with them before, but something about this was so different. I wanted Paul in a visceral way, something deep inside me was pounding for him and with his words it was unleashed.

And I was in that moment, felt it all so fully.

Paul dipped down as he kissed the junction of where my shoulder meets my neck. His warm plump lips sent shivers down my skin. I ran my hands up his back, still rubbing my core against him. I felt so swollen and ready for him. I wanted him to feel it, I wanted him to know.

And as if he could read my thoughts, Paul walked me backward to his parked motorcycle, kissing my lips with each step.

"I love you so fucking much, baby," he said as he rolled my body down so I was laying with my back on the seat of his motorcycle, my head close to the handlebars. I slowly opened my legs and felt a rush of relief and excitement as he moved his hands down and then up my skirt.

I let out audible breaths as he continued to kiss me, my body a puddle between his warm hands and the smooth leather seat. My ears were aware of the birds chirping in the forest, and my eyes were locked on his tantalizing amber eyes, and my head was just thinking about him and me and how great I felt in the moment.

"I love you too, Paul," I said in a moan. "I want you to feel this," I whispered. "I want you to feel what you do to me. What your touch…" And that was all the invitation my boyfriend needed. His fingers snaked up my thigh and his whole hands palmed my soaked mound and it felt like fucking heaven. At his touch I let out a loud moan as he rubbed back and forth. I ran my hands through his hair as I slammed my eyelids shut from the intense feeling.

"Me, baby. Eyes on me." I flicked my lashes open and my eyes locked back on his. I saw him, saw through him, and it wasn't just lust in his eyes, it was love. A penetrating deep love, that loved me for me, however I was. My whole body relaxed as his digits danced by my bikini bottoms, pushing them aside and slowly entered me. He said nothing as he felt me, only smiling. We both knew it: I was a drenched ocean for him.

"It feels so good, your touch, Paul," I panted out as he dipped one finger in, his thumb rolling over and teasing my sensitive nub. He was speaking to me, probably sexy dirty things in his husky voice, but it was all just reverberated noise, as all I could do was pay attention to the strong wave that built inside of me. I moaned louder, calling out in my pleasure like a siren. Then he dipped a second finger in and it was taps for me. His magic fucking hands worked like an orchetra with the crescendo pouring down on me like a torrential downpour of pleasure.

I was a breathy mess and panting as he pulled his hand out of me. I looked at him, immediately missing the fullness. He leaned closed for a sexy passionate kiss, licking my lips and tugging on my bottom lip with his teeth. I continued to pant, trying to make sense of what I just felt.

"Was that your first orgasm, buttercup?" He said inquisitively, but with no judgment.

"Holy crap, I think it was" I realized. "I have never felt anything like Paul."

"Me either," he said with a smirk, I looked at him incredulously. "No really, Mallory. Feeling you and getting you off, my love, my fucking soulmate. Nothing like it."

Paul and I relaxed for a bit, sitting on a blanket he brought, looking at the waves. I was tucked into him, sitting between his legs when he looked down at me and smiled mischievously.

"Take off your clothes" he said in his husky deep voice. Goosebumps broke out all over my body, once again. He had never been so direct before.

"Wh…what?" I said, trying to regroup.

"Swimming, babe. We're going in the water. That's why Jared told you to wear a suit." I took a deep breath.

I looked over at the cliffs. Of course. Cliff diving. He wanted me to jump off the fucking cliff.

I had done a lot in the time I had spent with Paul. A lot of things I thought I never would do, like date him or allow anyone to call me a pet name, and I had done it all enthusiastically, at least ultimately. But was I ready to literally jump off a cliff if he asked me to?

I walked closer to the edge and looked at the crashing waves. A part of me, maybe all of me, was intrigued. What would it be like to fly in the air and crash into the water? I was bold enough. Bold enough to stand up for my friends, bold enough to confront Paul on the beach, and bold enough to let my walls down and love Paul — both physically and emotionally.

He had done this a thousand times. He knew it was safe, and I trusted him with my whole heart. I turned back to face him.

"I'll do it." I spoke steadily, with confidence as I stood and stripped down to my bikini.

"There's my girl," he smiled, standing to take off his shirt and pants. "I'll go first."

It all happened quickly. Paul pecked me on the lips and looked me in the eyes. "When it's your turn, be in the moment and go for it. Are we good?" I nodded at his words and then he walked backwards to take a running start. Like a flash he was in the air and soared down to the water with a crash. He looked so relaxed and at peace as he flew through the air. He popped up effortlessly and then swam over to the shore.

My turn.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I tried to be present. To think of where I was. To remind myself who I was. Someone strong. Someone brave. Someone who could trust. Someone who could love and be loved. I took a deep breath and ran. Ran right over the cliff and jumped. I felt the wind hit me as I fell down feet first into the water. My legs crashed in and I sank down under, my arms raised over my head, feeling all the water around me, but no fear. I only felt free.

Adrenalin pumped through me as I swam over to the side and embraced Paul. "Thank you," I said as I crashed my lips into his. It was all I could manage. He held me close and it felt like a warm blanket. It was magical, but a magic I was willing to accept. I let out a loud sigh as I melted into him, all walls down.

I was safe with Paul, I trusted Paul, but I was still me, maybe the best me. I was loved for it and would never apologize for that.