Ch 24

Danny was having a blast. He had got tired of the puzzle and was now throwing all the various Nerf balls he had at Jack, Teal'c, and Sam. It had started as a nice game of catch but quickly degenerated into an all-out dodge ball war with Danny at the center and his three adult teammates running around the den trying to peg each other with the soft balls.

Nobody was throwing them at Danny hard, but the harder they threw them at each other, the harder Danny laughed. He especially liked it when they 'died' dramatically after being hit - Jack had started it by crashing to the couch, begging Danny to get revenge on Teal'c, and it had just got crazier from then on.

Danny wasn't the only one shrieking and laughing. Sam and Jack were so involved in the game - and trying to make sure Danny didn't get hurt while they all ran around - that they didn't notice when the loud noise attracted Jacob, who emerged from the study to see what all the commotion was about. Teal'c, of course, noticed Jacob hovering between the foyer and the den, but chose not to alert the rest of his team to their audience.

"Sam! Help me!" Danny called, crawling under the coffee table to get away from Jack, who was chasing him and pretending like he was about to bean him with the football. He scrambled to his feet and ducked behind her, using her as a shield.

She was so busy keeping him out of Jack's reach that neither of them noticed Teal'c sneaking up on them from behind, until Danny shrieked as Teal'c snatched him up and tossed him in the air, calling, "I have him O'Neill!"

"Good, hang onto him."

"Saaam!"

"Hey, give him back!" Sam demanded, grabbing his little feet loosely. She and Teal'c pretended like they were going to play tug of war with Danny as the rope for a moment before she let go of him and said, "Sorry, Danny, he's too strong."

"Noooooo!"

Teal'c tucked Danny under one arm like a football, O'Neill calling for him to, "Run a post-pattern left pass the defense…" which Teal'c took to mean dodge Sam and pass the Danny-football off to Jack, who took him over to the couch and called, "Touch down! Time to spike the ball!"

"No Dack! No spiking!" Danny giggled as Jack dropped him on the couch. He hit the cushions with a little bounce and sat back up, grinning. "Saaaaaam, save me!"

"I'm trying!" Sam called, laughing and trying to get around Jack, who was blocking her attempts to reach the couch. "Teal'c, come on, you should be on my team," Sam tried.

"Don't listen to her, Teal'c. Grab the boy and run!"

Teal'c appeared to consider his options for a moment and said, "I am sorry, O'Neill," before pegging him, hard, with the ball.

"You traitor," Jack said. "Watch out, Danny, I've been hit!" Jack 'died' again, face down on the couch. Danny laughed and jumped on top of him, half tackling, half hugging him. Jack pretended to be trying to grab him from behind, tickling him thoroughly in the process.

"Sam! Tea! Help!"

Sam and Teal'c both tried to help at the same time, Sam tripping over the football in the process. Teal'c reached out to steady her but she grabbed his arm too late and brought them all down in a heap on the couch. "Danny, are you okay?" Sam asked immediately, worrying they'd squashed the boy. Luckily he'd been able to get to his feet and out of the way before hand, standing on Jack's shoulder and leaning against the couch cushions, so he was the only one not a part of the tangled dogpile.

"Teal'c?" Sam coughed. "Could you get your knee out of my spine?"

"I am sorry, Major Carter," Teal'c apologized, getting off of her and pulling her up to a sitting position at the same time, although she was still sitting on Jack's legs.

She squirmed off of him, tucking her knees up to her chin and turning to make sure he was okay, as he'd had all three of them land on top of him and all she'd heard from him was a muffled, "Oomph!"

Danny was patting him on the head, and the formerly loud room was suddenly silent. After a few moments of total stillness, Danny broke the silence. "Dack are you still dead?"

Jack started laughing, although you couldn't hear it since his face was smushed into a throw pillow, but it made his shoulders shake, which Danny loved, because he was still standing on one of them.

Jacob started laughing too though, causing everyone on the couch to look over at him in surprise.

"Dad!" Sam scrambled off the couch and tried to tuck her hair back into place, glad that her dad had rejoined the group. Danny reached out for her, his balance wobbly as he stood on Jack's back. Sam picked him up as Teal'c gave Jack a hand up. "Sorry, did the noise bother you?"

"No, I guess I just missed the part of the tour where your den doubles as a war zone, Jack."

"And a football field," Jack added, glad to see Jacob appeared to be back in his usual good humor.

Jacob watched as they all tried to smooth hair and clothes back into place. While he still hadn't completely lost the whole 'Twilight Zone' feeling, it was impossible not to be entertained by the toddler-sized Danny and the way Jack kept him entertained. And he had to admit, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his daughter smiling and laughing so much.

Danny, who hadn't been very interested in Jacob up until now, since he'd been barely awake when he arrived, and then been otherwise occupied, was looking at him curiously. He turned back to Sam, who was still holding him, cupped his hands around his mouth against her ear, and whispered, "Who's dat man?"

Sam laughed. "That's my dad, Danny."

"Sam's Daddy?" he asked, looking at Jacob now as though he could turn out to be interesting after all. Jacob sat down on a chair across from them, aware that the little boy was sizing him up.

"Yeah. His name is Jacob."

"Day-cup?"

Jack laughed as the doorbell rang. "Close enough." Jacob gave him a look as Jack headed to the door for the food. "Hey, it's better than what he calls Janet, right? What's the doc's real name, Danny boy?"

"DammitDannit?" Danny asked, looking around for the doctor when he heard her name.

"Calm down, she's not here," Sam said with a sigh. "Come on, Danny, let's go wash our hands for dinner."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

While Daniel as an adult was just about the least picky eater Jack had ever known - Jack had seen him dive right into alien goop that even Teal'c thought twice about - Danny the toddler was leery of trying anything new. So the brilliant Chinese food plan wasn't working out too well. So far he was eating lots of baby corn and avoiding everything else.

"Danny, come on, try the rice. You'll like it," Sam tried.

"No. Dere's peas in it," he stated, picking up another baby corn and holding it to his nose. "Wook Dack! I'm a snowman!"

Jack chuckled. "Funny. What's wrong with your chicken?"

Sam tried to get him to eat a bite of chicken, and finally got it in his mouth. He chewed it for a moment and then spit it out in her hand. "Daniel…"

"Yucky, I need catsup!"

"On Chinese food? Talk about yucky," Sam grumbled, wiping off her hand. "I'll get you catsup if you eat a bite of rice first," she bargained.

Danny nodded and picked all the peas out of the spoonful of rice resting on his plate, then transferred it to his mouth quickly, spilling at least half of it in the process. "Hey I wike dat," he declared after swallowing.

"See? I told you."

So the minor drama of feeding the toddler under their care was resolved for the time being, as Jack fetched the catsup and squeezed some onto Danny's plate between his cut-up chicken and fried rice with a disgusted grimace.

As soon as Danny was eating without complaint, everyone else tucked in as well. "I guess between feeding him and changing his diapers, you guys have all gotten used to dealing with messes," Jacob remarked. He'd been surprised at how Sam had reacted - or not really reacted at all, to having Danny spit out chewed up chicken in her hand. Last time he'd visited his grandchildren with her, she'd accidentally dropped the F-bomb when her niece got a lollipop stuck in Sam's hair. Mark hadn't been too happy about that, although the kids had thought it was "awesome."

"Oh, ABC chicken is a joy compared to what we've been exposed to lately," Jack said.

"Definitely," Sam agreed, smiling as Danny started singing the alphabet song.

"Oops. I set him off." Jack waited for Danny to finish and said, "Good job. Eat your rice."

"Well, Teal'c, you seem to have got the worst job, changing the diapers."

"On the contrary, Jacob Carter. We have all shared that responsibility, and I believe Major Carter has been in the most unpleasant predicaments."

"Hey, he peed directly on me," Jack argued, pointing at Danny with his fork.

Sam leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. "Two words, Colonel. Vomit. And hose."

"Yeah, all right, good point," he conceded, laughing as he remembered the look on her face.

Jacob was now seriously considering the possibility that he'd somehow found an alternate reality where his daughter thought having a toddler throw up on her was funny. This was all just too weird. And just when he thought it couldn't get any weirder… Danny refused to eat his broccoli and the whole ridiculous tableau took on a whole new level that left Jacob simmering in his seat and telling Selmak to shut up.

"Come on," Sam objected, getting frustrated. "You ate junk for lunch, you need some vegetables."

"I don-like bwock-li."

"Just try it, please. I was right about the rice, wasn't I? Okay, here." She stabbed a piece of broccoli with the fork and waved it in a circle. "Come on, open up." She flew the fork like an airplane, but when it reached "the hanger," the hanger stayed firmly shut.

"Make da noise," Danny requested.

Sam sighed and did her best airplane noises… although even she had to admit that a plane making that sort of noise most definitely wouldn't be able to get off the ground.

Danny looked surprised and entertained by the funny spluttering noise she tried to make but he was keeping his lips firmly shut. She set the fork down and let out a frustrated, "Jack."

"Hop up." They switched seats so Jack could reach Danny. He picked the fork back up and, using the time-honored airplane method, started getting the broccoli into the little boy. Sam swapped their plates and kept eating, or rather started eating, since her own food had been getting cold when making sure Danny ate was her job. "So, you can build one, fix one, and fly one but you can't pull off a decent airplane noise to save your life, huh. Or to feed the boy."

"Nope," she said cheerfully, unearthing another baby carrot in her rice and setting it aside for Danny.

Jacob watched all of this as he'd watched everything else that had passed between his daughter, her CO, and the temporary toddler temporarily in their care. He wasn't even entirely sure what was making him so mad, which he tried to convey to Selmak, who was being the incredibly annoying internal voice of reason demanding to know what was so 'wrong' with this previously undiscovered part of his daughter's personality. Jacob was starting to think that was it, in and of itself.

Sam, Jacob knew, often claimed that he'd called her Sam because he wanted a boy. Which was silly for a number of reasons, most obviously because he'd already had a son. Yet early on he'd had to rearrange his previously held assumptions about gender. His daughter had been the only one remotely interested in joining the Air Force, and his son had been married halfway through college and had always wanted to be a teacher and have a family. But while his children's personalities had been a surprise at first, he had thought he had it down years ago: Sam was just like him, and Mark was just like their mom had been.

Of course it wasn't quite that simple, but it had never occurred to him that his workaholic, super-smart daughter would ever consider bothering to make time for a family, or ever be so comfortable, so fast, in such a domestically normal situation as he'd stumbled upon this evening. And he couldn't seem to get past the little fact that all this had happened with Jack O'Neill. But at this point in her life, she'd already made serious commitments to a job that needed her. Maybe it was harsh to imply that she was too important to the SGC to be allowed to have a normal life of her own, but she had always seemed okay with that. Now, though, that it was so obvious how easily she could have 'normal,' he was worried. And there was the whole Jack issue mixed in on top of everything else. It just merged two potentially serious problems for Sam, her career, and the future of the Stargate program into one very big problem, in Jacob's opinion.

"Dad?"

"What… sorry, what?"

"Is your food okay?" Sam asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, it's great."

"Oh, gross," Jack exclaimed suddenly, drawing everyone's attention back to him. He was holding a fork in both hands and it wasn't hard to tell what had happened, judging by the look on his face. He'd accidentally mixed up his Danny-fork with his own and ended up with a mouthful of catsup-covered Chinese food.

Danny laughed so hard at the face Jack made that he spit fried rice everywhere.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

After dinner, Jacob was ready to get back to the base to start working on getting Danny - and hopefully the rest of SG-1 by extension - back to normal. As fast as humanly… or Tok'ra-ly… possible. "Sam, it would probably be easiest if you just stayed at the base tonight since you're back on duty tomorrow morning anyway and we'll probably be working late," he pointed out as Sam wiped catsup off Danny while Jack held him still.

"Uh, sure, Dad, I guess that makes sense."

"Sam, you weaving?"

"Yeah, I've got to go back to the base for a little while, but I'll see you later, okay?"

Looking extremely worried, Danny looked up at Jack for sympathy. "We'll have fun here, Danny," Jack promised, hugging him. "And you'll see her tomorrow morning."

"Actually, O'Neill, General Hammond requested you remain here with young Danny until noon," Teal'c said.

"Oh."

"He would like you to bring him to the base for lunch so that all three of us may work while he takes his nap. When he awakens, we are to remain on the base while Major Carter brings him back here for the remainder of the day."

"Oh," Sam echoed. She'd not been separated from Danny for that long, and looked only slightly less disappointed at the schedule that had been made for her than Danny did. Then again if the General had ordered it, there wasn't really anything she could do about it. "Okay, then, I guess it's settled. I'll go get my stuff together."

"We'll help," Jack said quickly, following her with Danny in one arm.

As soon as they were away from her dad and in the study, Jack said, "Look, I know the whole overworking thing runs in the Carter gene pool, but does Dad seem a little…"

"Crazy?" Sam supplied as she started gathering her notes and things.

"Well, I was going to try to think of a more diplomatic word, but yes."

"Yeah. I don't know, maybe he's just frustrated because he doesn't know if he'll really be much help this time… I know I am."

"Yeah but you're not going nuts about it this time." She froze and looked at him. "I mean… not that you usually…"

She sighed. "No, you're right. Look, this time I happen to agree with you. And General Hammond. For whatever reason, I seem to be helping the most by being with Danny on this one. That's fine. It's certainly a lot easier than trying to do his job for him. But I do still have to try. And go with my dad."

"I know."

She shoved several loose papers into her bag with her laptop and slung it over her shoulder, heading for the door but stopping in front of them. Danny was being very still and quiet, resting his head on Jack's shoulder and watching her pack with very unhappy eyes. Her hand went to the back of his head automatically and she sighed. "Well, I guess I was right about one thing."

"Here, trade. What were you right about?" Jack asked, handing Danny to her and taking the bag off her shoulder instead.

"In the truck. Trying to keep up with both at the same time really sucks."

"Yeah. It does." He felt like it was a pretty dumb thing to say, but he couldn't really think of anything to do other than agree. She was completely right, as usual.

Danny was hugging her tightly, still not moving or saying anything. She rubbed his back and laughed once. "This is so ridiculous, it's almost his bedtime anyway," she muttered to herself. She shifted him to a slightly more comfortable position and looked at Jack.

"We'll take good care of him," he said quickly.

"I know. You're better at this than I am."

"Nope. Not really. I just started off with more field training."

She smiled and they were interrupted by Jacob.

"You ready, Sam? Need help with anything?"

"No thanks. Coming, Dad."

They all followed Jacob to the door, where Teal'c was already waiting. When Sam handed Danny back to Jack, he resisted just for a moment. She was surprised at how powerfully the little arms clinging around her neck tugged at her heartstrings.

"Bye bye Sam, I wuv you," Danny said, leaning back into her as he was traded back to Jack and kissing her the first place he could reach - half on her mouth, half on her chin. "Wike dat, wight Dack?" he asked, clearly proud of himself for remembering to make the fish-face and keep the slobber to a minimum this time.

Sam, who wasn't facing her dad, missed the look on his face, although Jack guessed she must have had a basic idea of how displeased he looked at the moment from the way she cringed.

Jack mumbled an affirmative he hoped only Danny could hear - the snake didn't give Jacob extra hearing powers, did it? - as Sam tried to hug Danny yet again, which didn't work so well since Jack was holding him in one arm and using the other to drape the shoulder strap of her laptop case back over her. She kissed the back of Danny's head instead, which was easier to reach. "I love you too, Danny, be good, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

She smiled at Jack, then at Teal'c. "Watch out for worms, will you?"

He smiled serenely and bowed slightly. "You have my word."

As she and her dad were getting into her car, Jack heard Jacob ask, "Worms? Dare I even ask?"

He rubbed Danny's back in comforting circles as they all went back inside and said in a cheerful voice, "All right, buddy, what do you want to do now? You're looking pretty pitiful at the moment so I suggest you take full advantage of the situation and get us to let you get away with something big. You want more dessert?"

"No," Danny said.

"All right. You want to ride your tricycle in the house?"

"No."

"Want to throw Nerf balls at us?"

"No."

"Do your puzzles?"

"No."

"Perhaps you should ask him what he does wish to do," Teal'c suggested, sensing this could be a very lengthy interrogation.

"All right, good idea, T. Danny, what do you want to do?"

Danny thought for a minute and asked hopefully, "Piggy movie?"

Jack groaned. "Again?"

"Pease?"

He sighed, resigned to his fate. "I had to ask."