Ch 25

Jack was glad when they only made it halfway through the repeat viewing of Babe before it failed to provide an adequate distraction for Danny. Then ten minutes later when Danny had turned down all of his suggestions for what they could do instead, he was begging to bring that talking pig back. The normally cheerful Danny was getting tired, and he was whiny and fussy but didn't want to go to sleep. His routine had been disrupted, and he knew who was to blame.

"I donlike Sam's Daddy," he said firmly, crossing his arms and scowling. "He takeded her away."

Jack sighed. "Ah, don't say that, buddy. He's all right, and he is really trying to help you. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you make a picture for Sam and you can give it to her tomorrow."

"Okay," he agreed eagerly.

Jack looked at Teal'c victoriously. "We have a winner!"

"Indeed."

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Sam let out a frustrated sigh and wiped her tired eyes, looking up from the computer screen. Her dad, who was working at his own monitor across the workbench, looked up at her. "Dad, this is so frustrating, I'm getting nowhere."

"Keep trying, Sam, you know more about Daniel's research than anybody."

"This isn't my area of expertise."

"You made just as much progress on your own as the linguists have done here."

"Big deal, splitting the symbols into vowels and consonants…"

The phone in her lab rang. She picked it up, glancing at the clock. It was after ten. "Carter… of course, put him through… what's wrong?… oh. No, I've never given him coffee… are you sure he's saying coffee?… yeah, I can hear him crying…"

While Jack fumbled on the other end of the phone for a minute, Sam explained to her dad, "Danny's crying and apparently asking for coffee. He's tried to get ours before but not really made a big deal when we said no…"

"Sam?" Jack asked through the phone.

"Yeah, is he okay?"

"Physically yes, but I think he's trying to stay awake until you come back. That's probably why he wants the coffee…"

She laughed. "I don't think he's thinking that strategically… why is he asking for coffee out of nowhere?"

"I don't know but he's whining for you and 'toppy' over and over…"

"Toppy?"

"Yeah, sounds like coffee to me, and I was drinking it myself when he first started."

"Maybe… I don't know…" Sam thought for a minute and said, "Does he have his dinosaur?"

"I haven't seen it in a while."

"I've been telling him he should name it for days, maybe he did."

"You think?"

"I don't know, it's a triceratops, so Toppy's as good a name for it as anything, I suppose."

"Huh. Good idea. Hey, Danny? Is 'Toppy' your dinosaur?" After a brief muffled conversation on the other end of the phone between what sounded like all three of her teammates, Jack came back on the phone. "Got it, Teal'c found it under the couch. Thanks."

"Sure."

"Okay, he's happy for the time being so I'm gonna try to get him to sleep."

"Good luck."

"You too."

Sam hung up the phone and got back to work, laughing to herself that Danny had finally named his favorite toy, and that Jack had assumed that even as a toddler, Daniel's solution to any situation would be coffee.

"Sam?" her dad prompted.

"Sorry, I just… need some coffee."

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It felt like she'd been working forever when the phone rang again. She reached for it quickly, ignoring the look from her dad that said he was not finding these disruptions amusing in the least. "Carter… yeah…" She waited for her CO to be patched through again.

"Hey, Carter."

"Hi…"

"Have you by any chance learned anything new about that damn trunk?"

"No sir, not really… why?"

"I have a new theory. It's distorting time in my house like the black hole. I think - and Teal'c agrees - that we've been trying to get Danny to go to sleep for about two weeks now."

She laughed. "Well, sir, that's an interesting theory, but if that were true, you wouldn't realize it - it would only appear to be slower from an outside perspective because remember, time…"

"Is relative," Jack finished with a heavy sigh. "Yeah, yeah, I know. All right. Well, could you at least tell me how you've been brushing his teeth all this time, because when I tried it he clamped down on the toothbrush and now he won't let go."

"Oh. Sure. Um…" she lowered her voice and retreated as far away from her dad as the phone cord would allow and said, "Don't laugh, okay?"

"I won't, just tell me what to do to get the toothbrush out of his mouth before he hurts himself."

"Make the faces with him and he'll copy you."

"That's it? That's easy."

"Um, well, also there's… a song," she admitted.

From the lengthy pause that followed, she guessed he was trying very hard not to laugh. Finally, he asked in a way-too-casual voice, "A song?"

"Yeah… well I had the same problem the first time I tried to brush his teeth and, I don't know it just sort of… happened."

"You want me to sing to Daniel."

"Well, I don't think Teal'c is going to do it," she couldn't help but comment.

"All right. What's the song?"

"Well, I'm sure it's different now because it's not exactly politically correct, but when I was little it was…"

"Carter."

"You remember the one that goes, 'One little, two little, three little Indians…'"

Jack did know the tune she was referring to, but if he was going to do this he wasn't going to let her off that easy. "Uh, vaguely, I'm not sure…"

"Just change it to teeth instead."

"Teeth? That doesn't even fit."

"Baby teeth," Sam admitted.

"O…kay. Baby teeth it is. So how does this little ditty go, exactly?"

Feeling much more ridiculous than she had done when the only person who knew about this was Danny, she lowered her voice even further on the off chance her dad wouldn't be able to overhear and chanted, "One little, two little, three little baby teeth, four little, five little, six little baby teeth… get the idea now, Jack?" He was laughing, a muffled sort of snort/laugh, but still. "You're laughing."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it," he apologized, still laughing.

"Whatever," she muttered as she hung up the phone, then absently wondered if she'd ever said that to her CO before. Probably not. Well, then, he had it coming.

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