Hi-hi. Back at it again with this stuff. Hope you enjoy more of my nonsense. Ciao!

Chapter Nine

Forest's Haunted

"I gotta admit, it's nice that I got to skip so much of puberty. I hear it's a bad time." Linkle hummed, chattering away as she walked away from the duo of wolfos who had attempted to jump her in the temple's entryway.

"Still can't swing a sword right, but I guess that doesn't matter." Gohma snorted in amusement. Linkle shrugged.

"She seems to make up for the utter lack of training and skill with the fact that she's apparently strong as hell." Navi mused. Linkle gave her fist a little pump, rolling her sleeve back.

"Maybe it's magic but I do feel pretty buff." She hummed, confidently examining her bicep.

"You've been asleep seven years and aren't atrophied so yes, magic." Navi confirmed as they entered the spacious main chamber.

"This looks less like a mansion, not a temple." Gohma chirped, curiously skittering around the room, getting her bearings. "I think that- GAH!" She jumped back, startled, as suddenly the colored torches flickered, and then moved away from their pedestals.

"G-g-ghost! Ghosts!" She hissed, scrabbling backwards. "You can't fight a ghost! They're already dead! We're doomed!"

"Aren't stalchildren dead?" Navi tipped to one side. "That's not a ghost. We fought plenty of them…"

"It's not the same!" Gohma wailed. Linkle seemed mostly unafraid, and began following one of the flickering lights as it drifted off.

"Wait! Wait, damn it-" The door slammed shut behind Linkle seemingly on its own, and Navi bonked into it. "Uh oh. Linkle's on her own. She's doomed. "

Linkle, for her part, only noticed that she had become separated from Navi and Gohma after realizing nobody was yelling at her or bickering.

"Huh?" She turned, looking back at the hallway she had passed through, puzzled. "I… How many doors did I just walk through?"

Slowly she glanced back forward.

"I'm very lost." She announced.

"Get used to it, kid." Chirped a Skulltula, rattling along the wall. "This place is a maze."

"Guess I'll follow the rightmost wall… Or was it the left wall? Uh…" Linkle pursed her lips. "...Oh crap."

"Well, I guess we just explore. This place can't be that big."

"Linkle got lost in the Great Deku Tree and that was a straight vertical line. " Navi retorted.

"We gotta find that girl." Gohma sighed, as she squeezed through a door. Look, I can't explain away everything, just fuckin' suspend your disbelief and assume every passage is big enough.

"Narrator's gettin' crabby."

"Huh?"

"Nothin'."

The duo carefully explored the side paths, Gohma casually taking a moment to flatten a pair of Stalfos that had brandished swords at her. "...Heh. Bet the kid would have had a way harder time with that!" She chuckled, casually batting a skull from side to side on the floor like a ball.

"Hey!" The skull complained as Gohma battered it about.

Linkle hummed as she wandered through a room that twisted as she walked. "Holy crap." She mumbled, looking back at the room, trying to wrap her mind around it. This place was a bizarre blend of some freaky manor and an indoor garden. If it wasn't for the oppressive, heavy atmosphere, and the monsters everywhere, it'd be pretty cool.

A large hand suddenly dropped, wrapping around Linkle's midsection. She shrieked, kicking and sinking her teeth into a finger, causing the Wallmaster to release her before it could reach the portal in the ceiling. She growled, spitting the blood from her mouth, glaring at the skittering clawed hand.

"C'mere you! I'm not done hurting you yet!"

The Wallmaster began to scuttle away faster, panic in its movements as it began to quickly realize that perhaps it should not have assaulted the slightly feral girl. She tackled it, slamming the butt of her sword right into the back of the hand, causing it to go flat with a strange noise. Linkle finished with a quick stab, standing and brushing herself off.

"Jerk. Scared the heck out of me and tried to kidnap me…" She muttered. "I'm just a harmless little girl, what was it thinking?" She added, blood still dripping off her sword. She hummed, wandering room-by-room through the strange dungeon. She glanced up at a weird painting.

"Huh! Looks kinda like the ghost ladies at the entrance…" She mumbled, studying it. "I don't know why Gohma was freaked out by them. They're cuter than they are scary."

Linkle headed down the stairs to the room below, grumbling as she looked around. "Right… Where's Gohma and Navi? Maybe I should just find a room and stay there, instead of wandering aimlessly…

NAH!"

She cheerily booted the next door open, walking in, only to yelp as a Stalfos leapt at her, sword first. She raised her shield just in the nick of time, and the jagged blade clashed against the surface. Linkle lashed her own blade out in retaliation, only for it to smack into her skeletal opponent's shield.

"Uh oh." she mumbled, realizing that, for all the monsters she'd stomped, she'd never actually fought anything that had any real skill with weapons.

The Stalfos lunged and dodged back, feinting several times, before unleashing a violently fast slash. Linkle barely had time to raise her blade to catch against her skeletal foe's.

"Eehee! What's the matter, little hero? Can't even handle that blade of yours!" The Stalfos cackled, attempting to push Linkle back.

It didn't succeed, because as it rapidly learned, Linkle was stupidly strong; With a rough push, she shoved the Stalfos right back, quickly raising a boot and slamming it into his spine. The Stalfos yelped, then tumbled backwards into the central pit of the room with a shriek. Linkle smirked as she heard his bones smash on the floor below.

Linkle stretched, smirking. "Sucker." She hummed, turning towards the exit.

The room rumbled, and the platform above lowered into the hole.

A pair of Stalfos rose up, blades drawn.

"Ah. Ah hell." Linkle mumbled, nervously.

This was much harder to deal with; the duo were dangerously well-coordinated, and Linkle was forced to play much more defensively than she ever had. Her right arm was growing numb with the blows that rained down upon her shield.

And skeletons don't get tired. Linkle was sagging slightly. She growled, shifting her grip and bashing one back with her shield, whipping the Master Sword in a vicious swipe, the blade swiping powerfully across the left Stalfos's spine. The creature squeaked as it was bisected, clattering to the floor in a heap. She turned to the other, huffing and snarling.

"Uh… Wow, we really gotcha mad?"

Linkle responded with a feral shriek, whirling her blade forward.

The Stalfos tried to block. Emphasis on "tried". Linkle's sword smashed into the shield so hard that it knocked the shield cleanly off.

Actually, the shield was still attatched. It was the Stalfos's arm that was snapped off.

"Yeek!" The Stalfos jumped back, the lights in its eyesockets flitting about in a panic. "I uh, oh goddesses, you-" Before it could finish, Linkle stepped forward, whipping her sword straight down, cleaving the Stalfos's skull in half.

" Anyone else?! " Linkle panted, shoulders heaving.

The first Stalfos was actually still alive, but remained silent, not wanting to incur the girl's wrath. Linkle stormed about the room, but paused when she noticed a wooden chest.

"...Treasure? This better be good…" She rumbled, as she flung it open. "...Ooh!"

"Where's. That. Kid?" Gohma huffed, as she scuttled along the high walls of the room.

"This place is so unnerving." Navi twitched as she tried to wrap her mind around the bizarre, twisted room. Gohma easily scrabbled up onto the ceiling and casually flicked open a chest that was positioned there, letting its contents fall out, catching them with a talon.

"Ooh, fancy key! I think I'll hang onto it after this dungeon. Make a cool necklace."

"I didn't know you liked that kind of stuff." Navi hummed, not noticing the dark shadow beginning to loom below her…

Linkle hummed as she wandered into the next room with her new toy, only to pause. "Wait, this is… The same room as earlier!" She rolled her eyes. "Geez, I really am lost… I think-"

And then her hand slipped, causing the weapon to go off.

The gorgeous crossbow was elegant and came with a quiver of bolts, so Linkle had happily loaded one up, before realizing maybe she should have paused before doing that. Luckily it had a safety. Unluckily, Linkle had not actually activated said safety. The bolt rocketed forward, slamming point-first into one of the paintings. It erupted, seemingly melting into flames.

"Whoa! Weird!" She hummed, quickly racking another bolt. It was surprisingly easy to load the weapon; perhaps it was enchanted. Or maybe it was Linkle's inhuman strength again. She always had been pretty strong, and becoming an adult had only made that more obvious.

Linkle repeated the process twice more, until the Poe was forced out of the painting, threateningly waving her candle to try and force Linkle back.

"Hey, come on!" Linkle pouted, ducking under her shield a bit. "Do we really have to fight? I mean I know you're a ghost and all but…"

The Poe sister paused for a moment, surprised by the offer. She genuinely seemed to consider the idea.

"Look, I don't know what your deal is…" Linkle admitted. "But right now, I just want to get through this place and help save the world."

The Poe girl lowered her candle. "...You… don't wanna fight?"

Linkle blinked. "I mean, I'd rather not… Especially since you're maybe the first monster that I asked to stop fighting and considered it. The others I had to beat up or use some weird purifying thingy…"

"...Geez, that makes me not wanna fight…" Grumbled the ghost-girl, crossing her arms and pouting. "...Hmph, well… I guess you are cute… So fine." She drifted towards the sconce in the room, flitting her candle to it and lighting it. "But if you hurt any of my sisters, I'll murder you in your sleep!"

"F-fair?" To be honest, Linkle was still flustered from the "cute" comment, but let it slide. The Poe gave a little wave, drifting downwards through the floor.

"That was weird." Linkle mused. "Nice! But weird."

"Finally!" Navi huffed. They'd circled around the entire dungeon, unsure if they were even close to Linkle, when they found their way back to the center room. Linkle had arrived first, looking a bit tired, but otherwise cheery.

"Hi guys!" She waved cheerily. "I made friends with the ghosts and got them to put the fires back. They were actually really nice."

"Huh, guess you did pretty well!" Navi hummed, surprised.

" And I got a cool crossbow."

She casually fired a bolt straight into the roof, grinning as it hit with a satisfying thunk .

"Oh, that's terrifying." Gohma mumbled. "She was bad enough with the slingshot and magic boomerang, now she has a real ranged weapon."

"Just watch your eye." Navi hummed, fluttering onto Linkle's shoulder. "And maybe just be careful when she loads it up. Funny, I would have expected you to get like, a bow or something."

"Nah, a crossbow just feels right. " Linkle nodded.

"...Why?"

"I'unno, do I need a reason for everything?" Linkle puffed her cheeks a bit.

"Well, I'm glad I grabbed that key." Gohma hummed, as Linkle borrowed it to pop open the shiny golden lock, handing it back. Gohma didn't quite have the dexterity to turn the key in the hole.

"I'm more surprised you fit down here." Navi admitted, as they passed the door to an…

"Art… gallery?" Gohma rattled, peering around the room. Linkle frowned as she began to slowly circle the room.

"Alright, we should search for clues, perhaps something in the paintings!" Navi chirped, wings fluttering. "Ooh, ooh! Maybe there's a-"

"There's nothing here." Linkle pouted.

"...Yeah, she's uh, right Navi." Gohma hummed. "Nothing here."

"Ah. Shit." Navi deflated. "Maybe we missed something? I think-"

Linkle was already heading towards the exit, all in a huff when spikes shot up.

"Yeek! That was too close!" She scrambled backwards.

"...Oh fuck." Gohma groaned, turning to the center of the room.

"...How'd you fit your horse in here?" Linkle asked the towering form of Ganondorf, the King of Evil.

He didn't answer, instead raising his hand to his face and-

"Oh. That's not normal." Linkle hummed as he dragged a hand over his face, revealing a strange, monstrous skull face.

"It's not him!" Navi yelped sharply.

"Keheheh…" The creature spurred the horse and it suddenly dashed into the air, diving into a painting as though it were a real road.

PHANTOM GANON

EVIL SPIRIT FROM BEYOND

AKA

TOTALLY NOT GANON WE PROMISE

"Well…" Linkle scowled as she slowly turned, looking from painting to painting, warily. "Guess we gotta do this again!"

She turned, and caught sight of a portal swirling in a painting. Moving quickly, the heroine whipped up her crossbow, firing a bolt in the direction, wincing as it struck the horse.

"Ooh, I hope that thing is a monster too." She mumbled, guiltily as it retreated with a shrieking whinny.

"It didn't bleed. Do it more!" Gohma cheered. "Because I can not move from wall-to-wall that fast."

"Mnh, sorry horsey but I'm not a good enough shot for this…" Linkle muttered, readying her shot again.

Luckily, it seemed Gohma was right- the horse was a phantom as well, much like the creature that had, momentarily, worn the face of her greatest nemesis. The horse burst into dust, and vanished, leaving only the phantom, who hovered out of reach. Linkle fired another bolt, but he merely twirled his spear, swatting it from the air.

"No fair! The only one of us who can fly is like two inches tall!" Gohma growled.

"How do you think I feel?!" Navi snapped, darting about as bolts of magic launched from the Phantom's staff towards them. "Linkle! Try the master sword! It can repel evil, and that magic is definitely super evil!"

Linkle, not having much else to lose, swiped the blade, and to her surprise, struck one of the magic orbs right back at the phantom. The phantom retaliated with a swift spin of the spear, and soon, the two were locked in a dead-man's volley, the ball rocketing back and forth faster and faster.

It slammed into the phantom, and Linkle went to work with the sword, slashing and cutting ferociously. A few painful gashes and the creature twisted, attempting to push off the ground and back into the air. Gohma quickly lunged, grabbing it by the cape and slamming it right back down, for Linkle to once again begin savaging at him with her blade.

Eventually, the Phantom's body looked tattered and beaten, and it hung limply as it tore free of the grip and began floating in the center of the room.

"Hm." A deep voice rumbled from nowhere. "You again, little girl. I suppose I should have realized you were something else."

Linkle shivered, recognizing the voice.

"Not bad! Not bad at all." There was a slow clapping sound. "Did that sound go through? I was sarcastically clapping, that's what it was. Anyway, I suppose you made quick work of my phantom…"

There was an odd snap, like puppet strings being cut, and the creature was hurled aside like a lifeless puppet.

"Pah. Worthless creation. And you, girl… Don't think things will remain so easy. I forced all of Hyrule to bend a knee to me. You continue to live because I am curious to see just what you can accomplish… Hahaha… Good luck… "Hero". You're in for a lot of pain…"

Linkle blew a loud, prolonged raspberry, but the voice was long gone.

"Huh… the air feels lighter." Navi hummed. "Did we break the curse?"

"Beats me." Gohma hummed. "You're more sensitive to magic and stuff than me, fairy. We'll see once we get outta here. What should we do with uh, that thing?" She awkwardly glanced at the limp form of the Phantom on the floor, but then-

Linkle's hand began to glow. "...Huh? Really? Even works on-?"

There was a flash, and the Phantom let out a hollow moan, slowly sitting up.

"What… is this? Who… What…?" He slowly looked around, rising, his horned head casting about. "...Who… am I?"

"Oh boy." Navi mumbled. "Hey, can we explain this later? We gotta get out of this place."

Linkle stepped into the blue light, offering the tall Phantom her hand.

"Hi! I'm Linkle, a hero! You were a bad guy's soulless evil puppet and now you're not!"

"I think that raises more questions than answers, but I suppose it's a place to start?" Phantom nervously scratched his head.

"Hiiiiii Linkle…"

Linkle froze, back ramrod-straight as Saria stared at her. The Kokiri girl had a frozen smile on her face, shadows beneath her eyes, and a terrifying glassy look to her.

"H-hi! Saria! I guess… You're the Forest Sage, right?"

"Isn't it amazing~?" Saria giggled, some light flickering in her eyes. "I never knew, until just now… I thought maybe I could help stop the curse, but when I came in I fell asleep… But now I know… And you… Wow, you really got taller. Hmm, but… Where's that treasured thing I gave you?" Her eyes narrowed, smile widening. " Well?! Where is it?!"

"I, um…" Linkle opened her mouth, but Saria hopped forward. Despite being only a little above waist-height, Saria was still terrifyingly close.

"Well?! I see you have that pretty blue ocarina- and fair, you need to have it since it's magic and important, buuuut… Where's the one I gave you? Huh?!" Her eyes went wide, smile maddening.

"It got stolen!" Linkle managed to blurt. "That jerk Ganondorf grabbed it and rode off before I could-"

"He broke it!" Gohma cheerily called.

Saria froze and twisted, neck popping slightly from the violent, twitchy motion. For a few seconds, she was utterly silent.

Then, she relaxed, returning to the pedestal with the Forest Emblem on it. "...Then… I see. How awful. I made that special for you, Linkle…"

"Yeah… It does suck…" Linkle didn't relax just yet, choosing her words with the caution of a woman tiptoeing through a field of razorblades and needles. "But… Saria… You know I won't just forget you, right? Even if I lose an important keepsake, it doesn't mean we're not friends!"

Saria looked up, and for the first time since arriving in this weird blue place, her eyes seemed alive.

"...Heehee… How kind. You always were oh-so-kind…" For a moment, she lowered her head. "...I gotta stay here, for now. Pray to keep the evil magic away. I can't help you directly, yet. But… With my power keeping the forest safe, Ganondorf's power will weaken. So…" She straightened, and stared Linkle down seriously. "Once you wake up all the sages, you kick the shit outta him. Got it?!"

"Yes ma'am!" Linkle saluted, with a nervous giggle.

Saria's face softened, and the light began to shine, taking Linkle, Navi, and her monster friends away.

"Saria… Will always be your friend." She whispered, as Linkle vanished.

There was a silence in the Sacred Realm.

"...Oh geez, I hope she saves more sages soon. It's lonely here, and the light guy is just… not around." Saria mumbled.

The crossbow is a Hyrule Warrior thing, in case it wasn't clear. Although I suppose she had two in that game...

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Leave a review if ya want~!
Goodnight everybody!