Important author's note at the end! Please read!

Saph's PoV

Clasping his hands together, Erwin viewed us from his side of the desk. The usually neat and tidy office has papers scattered everywhere, books were crowding the floor, and I could see a paper full of numbers sitting across from the commander. It seemed as if Erwin himself had aged a few years since the destruction wrought upon humanity. There was not a sane person alive that would envious of his new position. Being the leader of the cluttered military group when the human race was on the brink of complete extinction, didn't seem to bring much joy to one's life. I might have felt pity for him, but the severity of his demeanor made me think I was going to be ordered to undertake a task that was going to be severely unpleasant.

Levi was standing beside me with an indifferent stare directed towards our commander. He hadn't even glanced at me since we had walked in. Keeping my hands in my pocket, I avoided direct eye contact with Erwin by staring at my boots. There was no need to create the pretense of pitiful since I couldn't hide the trembling in my frame. Each breath seemed shaky and a paranoia hazed over my senses as I conjured up enemies in the empty space between the two men and me.

It was when Erwin leaned back a little did I realize that he wasn't going to attack or yell at me. My fear of this man made me so on edge that I had created a fight or flight situation when there was no need for it, so far. While I was comforted with the fact that I wasn't going to be killed for my lack of empathy, it didn't mean the tenseness in my shoulders had lessened at all. The nerves had coiled so much, that I almost sprang backwards in surprise when Erwin finally spoke.

"As you both know, mankind is in danger of being wiped out completely. If those two Titans came back tomorrow, we wouldn't be able take another hit if Wall Rose fell. In these times, our species should be coming together to find a solution. However, there almost has never been a time where we were more divided."

A sigh echoed around the room as Levi tapped his foot impatiently. "Is there a point to this speech or are you just blabbering away?"

Unfazed by the harsh words, Erwin continued, this time with more vehemence. "Since we are in such as important era that will define us as a whole, I believe the Survey Corps should make a few changes. To cope with the new dangerous threat we never had to face before, it will be in the military's best interest to have a select team of Survey Corps members that will contain the strongest and brightest we have. That's why you've been called here."

"So your putting us in a new group?" Levi asked, nonchalantly.

Struggling to comprehend why I was there exactly then, I opened my mouth, but Erwin began to talk before I could pose my question.

"Bearing the title of Humanity's Strongest Soilder, I want you to not only be in the team, but be the leader of it."

Neither of us had expected that. Levi scowled at Erwin, an objection already forming on his tongue.

"You've shown an aptitude for leadership and you already have the respect of almost everybody here even if you've only been here for little more than a year. This is a direct order from me for you to become the newest squad leader." Erwin paused as he waited to see if Levi was going to say his usual snarky remark. When nothing came, he moved on. "Saph, I want you to be the second in command. Now, I'll send you the rest of your group tomorrow. You will begin training and eating together from now. The six of you will also have your own sleeping quarters in a separate building."

"Why is she second in command?" Levi interrupted. His brow furrowed as he scrutinized between me and Erwin, as if I had something to do with this development.

Fixating his cold stare to me, Erwin seemed reluctant to speak. "You two have worked closely together since the beginning. In the field, you've shown a strong partnership that will set an example for the team as a whole."

I stepped forward. "Sir, besides the fact that I'm an average, actually, below than average soldier in regards to strength, I don't believe I have the leadership abilities to assist Levi with the team." It was hard to maintain eye contact, but I knew if I dropped my gaze even for a second, I would submit under this order. "There are many more experienced, smarter people, that would be more adequate for this position."

There was no way I could ignore the strange way Levi was looking at me. My attention shifted to him as I tried to gauge what he was thinking. Levi had said so himself, he would rather work with a shitty soilder than me. I couldn't tell why he was giving me such odd expression an odd expression for agreeing with his sentiment.

"You may not have a high Titan kill record, but due to your upbringing, you and Levi both have strategic minds that should be utilized to their full potential. This team will need people who are capable of adapting, and thinking on their feet. Not a single person here can match either of you in that regard."

It seemed as if nothing was going to change his mind. Giving a small nod, I sighed. "Then I will do my best to uphold my duty as a soldier of the Survey Corps." And try not to get killed. Damn it. It seemed as if Erwin wanted me to die. Wouldn't our little group be the ones to execute the most dangerous missions? Most dangerous as in most likely I will have a painful death while carrying it out. Great.

"Levi, you may leave. I still have some things that I want to discuss with Saph."

Muttering darkly to himself, Levi left after throwing a suspicious glance my way. The sound of his boots echoed in the empty hallway as he left. Each thump making me cringe internally. Now I was left all alone with Erwin. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I drooped my head, hoping he wouldn't be to hard on this poor little girl.

"How old are you, Saph?"

That wasn't expected. I didn't know what I was anticipating, but that was definitely not it. "I'm not completely sure. Fourteen? Fifteen?"

"You would barely be out of training camp then. You may not have the highest kill record, but you are the youngest member here. There is something to be said with you still being alive."

Incidents, that taste like bile, are rising up my throat. I wouldn't be alive if Levi, Mike, Ruby, and Mike had not saved me a few times. A reason didn't exist to credit me with that accomplishment when so many people had to help me out along the way. They were all good people, even Levi. Each one believed in the good of humans and tried to protect them. That wasn't me. That was why I shouldn't be in Levi's squad, especially as second in command. If I told Erwin my reasoning, though, he might kick me out of the military entirely.

"However, while I do believe that putting you in that position would be for the best, I did hear you and Levi fighting when I came out to retrieve the both of you. Will that become a problem?"

Fire dancing in Levi's orbs slammed into my memory. So much rage, and something akin to pain had lit them up until they seemed closer to a steel blade than a murky darkness. I had wondered for a brief moment if he had been going to bring up Isabel and Farlan again. Claim they had been more decent beings than I ever could be. Tell me that I should have been the one who died on the rainy night. A whimper escaped my clenched teeth to penetrate the air with it's soft creaking. A snake had sank it's fangs into my chest, releasing a steady poison that made my stomach lurch.

Puzzled, Erwin focused his entire concentration on me as I struggled underneath a strange, heavy, foreign feeling. Even as he showed no signs of impatience, I rushed to find an explanation.

"Fighting never makes me feel well," I said to excuse the revulsion I was showing. "We'll figure it out. We always do," I promised. All it took was a signal of understanding from him before I rushed out of the door.

Not a hint of physical sickness had touched me until I had begin to consider Levi's reaction. This feeling was just a shadow from what I had felt in the past, but I recognized it. Guilt. My legs carried me out into the freezing winds as I tried to escape the burden building on my shoulders. This emotion had only been associated with Suzu before. Never a need to say sorry when you didn't care for anyone else.

With the bitter truth sinking in, I leaned over a rail and vomited on the white snow. A slight attachment to Levi had grown on me. That's why I wanted to apologize to him for the hurt I had caused. Shuddering, I gripped the wood until splinters dug underneath my nails. I would have to find a way to remove that thin thread. Cut it completely. Suzu was out there waiting for me to save him, while I was beginning to form a relation to a man who hated me. That couldn't do.

"Maybe you should take some medicine," a worried voice stated.

Groaning, I turned around to face a concerned Hanji. Sorrowful brown eyes analyzed my condition for sickness. "I just need some sleep."

"Most people would be ecstatic about their new promotion. Not puking outside."

Tilting my head, I considered the woman in front of me. "So you heard?"

"Rose and I were discussing some things when Erwin came in to tell her she would be part of the new squad. If anyone else had told her, she might have thrown a fight. Being told that her subordinates will now be in charge of you could be a blow for anybody."

Sticking my tongue out, I let the white fluff drop onto it. "She could always take my spot if she wants to," I mumbled out around my tongue.

"Nobody else can get along with Levi like you can."

She doesn't know about the fight we had just hours ago. "I'm sure that's not the case."

"Are you two lovers?"

I almost bite my tongue off in surprise at the straightforward question. Surprised, I don't know what to say to that. Deciding that words couldn't be enough, I shake my head no, vigorously.

"It's okay if you are, Saph. Levi is an attractive guy and you two have been by each other's side-"

"Levi is attractive?" I asked, interrupting whatever she was going to say next.

Hanji looks taken back for a second. A smirk forms on her face. "Just because he is shorter than the average person doesn't mean he loses any points when it comes to looks. His title of Humanity's Strongest has only made him more appealing to both men and women here."

"I didn't think you would be the sort of person to pay attention to that sort of stuff."

With teasing smile, Hanji pushed up her glasses. "Just because I'm more interested in Titan's than in men doesn't mean I'm blind to what they look like."

Snorting at her silliness, I faced away. "We aren't like that. Sometimes we can barely stand the other's presence." Pretending to shrug it off, I waved goodbye. "Thanks for the joke, Hanji. It's always good to have a laugh before I go to bed."

"See you later, Saph!"

After getting ready for the night, I climbed into my top bunk. Levi was already asleep on the bottom. His soft snores making my eyes blink blearily. I had forgotten what a comfort it was to have someone sleeping near you. With what Hanji had said about Levi being attractive ringing in my brain, I couldn't help but peek over so I could study his features.

Knowing what I did about mine, I began to compare. His features were sharp but delicate at the same time, while mine were just bony and jagged. Dark, long eyelashes grazed the top of his cheek, adding an elegance that could never be gleamed from mine. Black strands of hair was dipping close to his brows, adding a boyish touch. My curly, brown hair was always a tangled mess that made it seem as if I had been dug out of the Underground just a few minutes ago instead of more than a year. Thin his lips might be, they were tinged with pink and noticeable against his pale, smooth skin.

Uncomfortable, I let my head rest on my pillow. Maybe that's what I had been feeling. Attraction. That was normal, expected. Wasn't I that age when stuff like that began to happen? It would explain why the memory of that time in the Underground had flashed when Levi had touched me. When you're physically attracted to someone, didn't you want to have sex with them? Wrinkling my nose at where my train of thought was going, I decided to discard that notation, absolutely.

One thing was clear, I was beginning to get distracted from my goal. Just because I found Levi a little handsome, didn't mean that I was going to be left behind later on. Suzu needed me, and I needed Suzu. There was no Levi in that equation. At least I found out that it was superficial interest that made me feel guilt. Levi was just alluring, that was all. It had nothing with emotions or feelings or anything of that nature. And it was going to stay that way.

What? I updated earlier than planned? That never happens! I've updated today because I have decided to do something special for Christmas! Since it's that time of year for giving (and when I get a big break from school), I've decided that for every two good reviews I get, I'll update every other day starting on December 25th! When I say good, that means one that makes sense, isn't a flame, and is helpful. I will have a cut off for how many chapters I'll do, but I don't no where that number is yet. I also have the ability to not count a review since I'm the author and it takes quite a bit of work to write a chapter. This deal will last until December 25th. Start reviewing and thanks for reading!