A/N: I was tempted, in light of the unfortunate timing coincidence of tonight's Atlantis episode, to save this one until at least tomorrow. Ah well, it's not like everybody's doesn't end up using amnesia at some point or another, right?

Ch 44: Technical Difficulties

"Crap," Sam said as Janet quickly started checking the unconscious Colonel's vitals again.

"Well, I guess you were right about him losing memories," Jacob commented.

"Yeah, I'm really starting to hate being right all the time," Sam muttered to herself as Janet finished her exam. "Is he okay?"

"I think so. Just knocked out."

"Actually…" Sam began hopefully. "If he's okay physically, it would probably be easier to try and switch him back now, while he's out of it. That way we won't have to explain anything to him while he doesn't recognize any of us…"

Hammond thought for a moment, and turned to his CMO. "Do you think that would be safe?"

Janet shrugged. "I have no idea, sir. I don't see why not, his heart rate is good, pulse is strong. There's nothing physically wrong with him. It's possible he's just unconscious so his brain can have time to catch up to the transformation his body's just undergone… I have no idea."

"The trunk does mention something like a Healing Sleep Stage," Jacob said.

"All right then, Major, if you can reverse the effects now, go ahead."

"Yes, sir," Sam said quickly, scanning the lower line of text.

She found the symbols she needed and said, "Dad, can you help…"

"Sure, Sam, I've got it." It took Jacob and General Hammond to drag the dead weight of one Jack O'Neill back round the side of the trunk.

"Dr. Fraiser, maybe you should tell him to lay off the cake when he comes to," Hammond commented, slightly winded from the effort. Having to stoop over so much made it extra difficult.

Janet laughed and said, "I've been telling him that for years, sir."

Sam picked up his limp hand and pressed his finger to all the appropriate symbols yet again.

Nothing happened.

"Crap," she repeated, sitting back on her heels and letting go of his hand, which flopped onto the floor unceremoniously.

"Are you sure you got the date right?" Jacob asked, going over to the work bench to examine her calculations. "No, that looks right… I guess there's another step…"

"Or maybe the person has to be conscious, so the trunk knows they're doing it intentionally?" Fraiser guessed.

Sam shrugged, dejected. "I was so sure that was it…"

"It's okay, Major," Hammond said, placing a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "We'll try it again when he wakes up and then… go from there."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

When Jack O'Neill woke up, the first thing he realized was that he had a terrible headache. The next thing he realized was that there were people talking around him. About him. And something else. Since he hadn't moved or opened his eyes, they had no way of knowing he was awake.

He heard a deep, male voice say, in an overly-formal tone, "He refused to consume his midday meal until I allowed him to see you. He became most insistent. A bowl of macaroni was thrown in protest."

"That explains why Siler just came in with a bruise on his forehead and macaroni in his hair," a woman said quietly, sounding mildly amused, but very tired. "Danny, that was a terrible thing to do."

"I just misted you," a little voice - a very small boy, said next. "Why is Dack sweeping is he sick?"

"No sweetie, not really. He'll be all right really soon, but…" Jack felt the bed shift by his feet, followed by, "Hang on, no climbing, you don't want to wake him…"

"I not waking him. We should sweep wiff him so he won't be scawed or sad. Wike we did."

There was a long silence, followed by another female voice saying, "Sam, what is he…"

"Not now, Janet, please. Danny, now that you've seen we're okay will you please go eat your lunch?"

"I will eat wiff you. In here."

She sighed. "Will you be quiet and not wake him up?"

"I pwomise."

"Okay then… Teal'c, you already brought him a tray?"

"Indeed. I will return after I have eaten my own lunch. Please inform me if there is any change in O'Neill's condition."

"Of course. Thanks."

Jack knew his brain hurt, but he was really, really confused. What kind of a name was Teal'c, exactly? He remembered being awake for a few moments before, earlier, and was guessing the two women who had just been talking were also the two he'd seen hovering over them. Janet seemed like she was the doctor, and the other one - Sam - was… who? His wife? That wasn't exactly right… but it sort of was. She had a kid with her who seemed to be talking about him and just having trouble with the word 'dad,' but that scenario just seemed… off. He didn't know why, it just did.

"Sam, you might as well stop trying to work while he eats or you'll just end up with peanut butter and jelly all over your laptop and those files."

"Fine, Jan. Can you call the lab again and see if my dad has anything new?"

"Sam, I'm sure he'd… all right. I'll go call."

"Thanks."

"Keep Danny out of my cabinets though. Medical gauze is not meant to be used to turn little boys into mummies, nor are tongue-depressors to be used as Lincoln Logs."

"Yes, Janet," Sam said in a sing-song voice.

The little boy cheerily called, "Bye-bye doc!" and was promptly shushed, but too late. Jack had chuckled out loud, unable to stop himself.

"Colonel? Are you awake?"

"Unfortunately," Jack groaned, forcing his eyes open - his eyelids felt like they weighed about fifty pounds each. He realized he'd been right about which one was Sam and which one was Janet as he focused his eyes on the very worried-looking woman staring at him.

He studied her carefully, trying to figure out who she was… in general and in relation to him. He knew that he did know her… knew her very well, as a matter of fact, and that she was extremely important to him… but for the life of him he couldn't remember anything specific about her at all. The same was true for the boy sitting in her lap, holding half of a partially-eaten sandwich in one hand and regarding him curiously. He had a rush of feelings for both of them but they were all very hard to classify.

He tried to think about it carefully. Objectively. The kid had called him 'Dad,' although it had sounded more like 'Dack.' He had blondish hair and big blue eyes that seemed very intelligent, and he was adorable. He looked like he could easily be the woman holding him's son, which would explain a lot of the feelings he had about her and some of the feelings he had about the boy - there were streaks of paternal concern and pride, but a lot of other things he couldn't put a name to. And some that were more on an equal level, feelings usually associated with a good friend, a brother.

He turned his attention from the boy back to the woman - Sam - who was looking more concerned by the minute. He realized he must have been staring at them both for quite some time, and tried to think of something reassuring to say beyond, "I have no idea who you are - or who I am for that matter. Care to fill me in?"

If these people were his family, it would probably be extremely upsetting to know that he couldn't remember them. Speaking of not remembering… didn't amnesia only happen to people on soap operas and stuff? He decided to just go with her name. "Sam?"

Now she looked about as confused as he was feeling. "Do you remember me?" she asked, sounding surprised.

Well, if she was already expecting him to have amnesia… he must have had some sort of bad head injury or something… his head was pounding. He fidgeted for a moment and said, "Sort of… I mean, I think I do… I don't know. I'm confused."

"Hi Dack," the little boy offered around a big mouthful of PB&J.

"Hi there little buddy," Jack offered. For some reason, that made Sam tear up like she was going to cry. "Wait, don't… what's the matter, did I…"

The other woman - Janet - reappeared, from another part of the infirmary, along with two other older, bald men - one of whom was clearly the base General. Jack waited impatiently as they all started talking about him like he wasn't there. The doctor started examining him briskly, both men were asking Sam what she'd learned.

Finally, Jack let out an, "Ohforcryinoutloud will someone just tell me what the hell is happening to me?"

"We're trying to figure that out," Sam said, sounding extremely apologetic and guilty. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"You," Jack said plainly.

For some reason, her cheeks turned pink and she glanced away for a moment. "We were in some other room on the base. She was there too." He nodded at Janet. "Actually, you guys were all there, except him." He nodded at Danny. "I came to, saw all you guys, and passed out. Then I woke up here."

"How'd you know my name then?" Sam asked suspiciously. "I woke up when the other guy… Teal'c… came in and talked to you. I heard you talk to him and to… Janet?" The doctor nodded.

"You memember me, don't you Dack?" the little boy asked, looking worried.

Even if this wasn't his own kid, Jack wasn't about to hurt the little guy's feelings. He smiled kindly and said, "Of course I remember you Danny."

"I fought so." Danny nodded confidently and demanded, "You taked my cwayons and fixed your hair, didn't you?"

"What?" Jack asked, completely baffled.

Sam suddenly started laughing. She tried to keep it quiet, but failed miserably, finally erupting in a fit of giggles that had not only Jack, but everyone else in the room looking confused as well. "It's a long story," she finally managed, hugging Danny a little tighter. "I'll… tell you all later."

"Great," Jack dismissed. "First, how about telling me my name."

"You don't know your name?" Janet asked, alarmed.

"Teal'c… weird name, by the way… called me O'Neill, and Sam called me Colonel, so I'm guessing that it's Colonel O'Neill, but I'm also guessing I have a first name."

"Of course you do. It's Jack," Sam said, looking puzzled. "Danny's been saying it for the past ten minutes…"

Jack's shoulders slumped with that realization. "I thought he was saying 'Dad…' so he's not… I mean…" He looked around the room uncomfortably. He wasn't sure why, but he had a very strong feeling he should not ask what he'd been about to ask. At least not right now, in front of either man… or the doctor either, although he got the sense that was for a different reason.

"Sir," the doctor said, turning her attention to the General with a business-like tone of voice. "I need to take Colonel O'Neill for an MRI. Why don't you come back when further tests are done, say, two hours?"

Hammond nodded and left, the other man following him. Once the room had emptied somewhat, Janet said, "I'm going to go get a few tests set up and ready for you, Colonel. Danny, why don't you come with me. We can get you all cleaned up and find you some dessert."

"Do you haff cookies?" he asked hopefully.

"Well, we'll have to go check the commissary but I'm guessing we'll be able to find you a cookie, or at least some jell-o."

"There's c-a-n-d-y in my lab if you need it," Sam offered, knowing that adult-Danny didn't particularly care for Jell-o, and they'd never given it to Danny.

"Got it," Janet said, holding a hand out to Danny. "Come on, Danny, let's go."

"Kay Doc." He twisted in Sam's lap and gave her a huge hug, leaving traces of peanut butter and jelly on her shirt, arms, and cheek in the process.

"Thanks, Janet," Sam said quietly as she returned the hug and kissed his head before setting him down, then cleaned up as best she could with a wet nap she pulled out of her pocket as the little boy left with Janet after calling a cheerful goodbye to Jack also.

"So," Sam finally said, twisting the wet nap nervously in her hands and glancing at Jack. "I know you must have a lot of questions and you're probably really confused, but… everything's going to be okay."

He looked even more alarmed now, even though she was trying to be reassuring. "I'm going to fix this," she muttered to herself. "I'm sorry… this is sort of… well, it's all my fault," she admitted, biting her lip.

"I don't really believe that," Jack said thoughtfully, trying to work out why he was so sure that wasn't right.

"I will," Sam said defensively. "I just need to figure out…"

"Whoa. I didn't mean I didn't believe you'd fix this, I meant I didn't believe it was all your fault."

"Oh."

"Now. Can you answer a question for me?"

"Sure."

"What was the thing about the crayons and my hair?"

Sam smiled in surprise - that certainly wasn't the first thing she'd want to know about if she were in his shoes! Still, it was an easy one to answer. "Last night we were watching 'The Wizard of Oz' and at the black-and-white part, Danny wanted to use his crayons to color it in and fix it."

"Ah. So this is Oz?"

She laughed. "Close. This is Cheyenne Mountain."

"No kidding," he said quietly. "Colorado, huh. So I'm in the Air Force?"

"You don't remember that?"

"Not really… I mean, I feel like I'm a soldier but I can't remember anything specific. It's… weird."

"I know. I'm sorry. Something… happened to you."

"What?"

"We work here, obviously. And… something happened to Danny, he came into contact with a… device."

"Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine, it's just… I thought I'd figured out how to use it to… to fix him. You volunteered to be the guinea pig."

"And it made me forget who I am?"

"Sort of… we knew that was a possible side effect but we wanted… I can fix it, I just need to do a little… tweaking."

"So who are we? I mean, is Danny… is he… yours?"

"No," she said carefully.

"Then why were we all watching 'The Wizard of Oz' together last night?"

"That's… a long story. But he's just as much yours as mine." She sighed. "Listen. I probably shouldn't just come right out and say this without General Hammond's permission but… I'll tell you the truth, as simply as I can, okay?"

Jack nodded.

"It's going to sound a little crazy," she warned.

"Sam, I can remember episodes of the Simpsons but I can't even remember who I am. I think crazy is a given at this point. Just… tell me, please."

"Okay. We work here, this facility is called the SGC. We're part of a four-person unit that includes you, me, Teal'c, and… Daniel."

"Daniel… Danny?" he asked, baffled.

"Yes. He's our friend, our teammate. The device that you both used… it shrunk him. We're all really good friends and we've worked together for years, and for the past week we've been taking care of Danny while we tried to figure out the device that made him get younger."

"That explains a lot, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I kind of have these… feelings. I don't really want to talk about them though."

"Well, then things aren't very different from normal after all," she said lightly.

He laughed. "Great. Um, so, when I was trying the device, did it make me younger too?"

"Yes. We had only set it back a decade, just in case something like this happened, so you wouldn't have to grow up all over again."

He nodded. "Okay. So… wait a minute, Danny with the crayons… the black and white movie… are you telling me I'll have grey hair in less than a decade?" Jack asked, looking truly angry for the first time since he'd awoken.

Sam gave him a sympathetic, though not un-amused smile and nodded.

"Well that's just peachy," he grumbled, running a hand through his hair. "Why don't you just catch me up on the last ten years then and I'll just stay like this."

"I don't think so," Sam said quickly. "That is not an option."

"But…"

"No. You are not staying regressed a decade just so you can look younger. General Hammond would never approve it, and you look better with grey hair anyway."

"Yeah?" he asked, intrigued.

"Forget I said that," she muttered, turning faintly pink.

"So… I'm still confused."

"I don't blame you, I told you it was a crazy story…"

"No, not about that. I believe you, I'm sure you wouldn't tell me something that's not true, but… why do I sort of know who you guys are, but I don't remember anything specific?"

"Mind stamp," Sam said to herself as the thought occurred to her.

"What? Mind stamp?"

"Yeah… maybe. Sorry, I was just thinking out loud… it could be similar to… once before, we were on a mission and the four of us were exposed to something called a mind stamp that basically made us forget who we were completely, so that we could be given new identities…"

"Tabula rasa?" Jack guessed.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You obviously don't remember that you usually try to pretend you're not as smart as you are." He shrugged. "Anyway… yes, that's a good way to put it. But in that situation, we all still had the same basic personalities even though we couldn't remember who we were and we were still… we… all four of us were still sort of… drawn together."

He could tell she was being as vague as possible. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we still knew that we knew each other. We still had the same… feelings for each other as always. All of us," she added quickly.

He nodded slowly. "Okay. So… does that explain why I sort of feel responsible for protecting Danny and keeping him safe and all, but I also feel like he frequently pisses me off in a way that no cute little toddler could ever manage to do?"

"Yes. The paternal feeling is probably heightened by how we spent last week with him small, but in a nutshell, yes."

"I knew he wasn't really my son, but… I also know that I did have one. A real one, right? I… I had one."

"Had?" She asked carefully - she'd been wondering if he'd remember Charlie, and terrified that he'd assume he was about Danny's age, as he would have been ten years ago.

"Yeah… I know I used to have a son and a different… I mean a wife - not you - but something terrible happened and I don't anymore. It feels like it was a long time ago," he tried to explain. "So that's why I was confused when I woke up and saw you guys sitting there because it was sort of right but not really."

"Okay," Sam finally offered, trying to be very careful about how they dealt with all of this. Hopefully they'd have him back to normal before the end of the day, so there was no need to put him through the pain of remembering what happened to Charlie again if they could help it. "Why don't we try it this way. I'll tell you things about yourself. You tell me if they're true or not, just based on if they feel right or wrong, okay? Like… you're from Houston."

"No."

"New York."

"No."

"Chicago."

"Yes. Why are we doing this?" Jack asked.

"Well to see… what do you mean why?"

"I mean, why don't you just save the explanation and get to fixing me?"

"I just… I mean, don't you want to try to understand what's going on?"

"I trust you," he said simply. "All of you guys, but especially you. I believe you. It would take forever to answer all the tiny questions I've got so let's just leave it at that. Figure out the device and then tell me what I have to do to get back to where I'm supposed to be, and I'll do it."

"That easy?"

He shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"Okay. I'll have them bring in the device then." She got up to go to the phone on the wall.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm your CO, aren't I?" he asked, coming to the conclusion some time ago after she had told him they were on the same unit - one that sounded like a combat unit. He had put off asking because he knew that he was right. It went a long way to explaining why all the feelings he had about her carried a hint of sadness or regret.

"Yes, sir." She gave him a look that seemed to reflect his own thoughts pretty well, so he didn't feel the need to ask anything else. After a long time, she finally smiled and said, "And you're a damn good one, so let's go ahead and get you back."

vvvvvvvvvvvv

Within fifteen minutes, everyone had congregated in the infirmary again, Jacob and Hammond escorting the trunk. Jack had been 'introduced' to everyone again, and General Hammond put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm surprised you're ready to try this so quickly, Jack," he said kindly, glancing at Major Carter. "Major Carter says she offered to fill you in…"

"She told me enough," Jack said simply. "Let's just get on with the show."

"Sir," Janet cut in gently. "If we could spend a little more time interviewing the Colonel, we could really learn a lot about what this device is supposed to do, and maybe even how it specifically removes personal information from the brain but seems to leave some remnants…"

"Janet," Sam objected pointedly.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but I highly doubt we'll have this chance again, it could be valuable information…"

"She has a point, Major," Hammond said, not forgetting that Major Carter herself had been known to push for similar things - one time in particular came to mind, when she'd wanted to keep an active MALP transmission of an SG team being killed so they could witness a black hole's singularity.

O'Neill had, at that time, rightly reminded her that sometimes the pursuit of scientific knowledge was not the appropriate priority. That had been a long time ago, and Hammond couldn't help but reflect on it, and the fact that now it was Major Carter making the same argument that her CO had used against her before. Despite what he'd insist if asked, Jack O'Neill had taught every member of his team just as much as they'd ever taught him.

So Hammond decided to trust both of them now, as well. "If Colonel O'Neill feels comfortable proceeding, we'll proceed, Doctor," Hammond told his CMO firmly.

Jack nodded resolutely. As Sam wheeled the trunk, which was now on a wheeled cart, to the side of his bed and started scanning the bottom line of text with some sort of magnification lens, she asked, "Teal'c, where's Danny?"

"He was taking his afternoon nap, so I left him under the supervision of SG-3."

"Oh… wait, you got all of SG-3 to watch him sleep?"

"Indeed. They were happy to render assistance."

"I'll bet," Sam said quietly, smiling to herself. "All right, sir, give me your hand." She pressed his hand to the device again, holding her breath hopefully. Nothing happened. He tried again, getting the same lack of response.

"This old trunk is really the thing that did this to me?" Jack asked skeptically.

"I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is," Sam said. "Watch." She ran her finger over the top line where the dial was, and the opposite end opened up.

"Wow."

"Yeah. That's how you got into this situation but I thought for sure I could get you both out…"

"I'm sure you will," Jack said with a shrug.

"I wish the rest of us were as unconcerned with this situation as you seem to be, Colonel," Janet remarked as she brought him some medicine for his headache.

"I'm concerned," he insisted. "I'm just not worried. There's a difference." Then he couldn't resist adding, "Remember?" with a smirk.

Hammond shook his head, chuckling, and said, "All right, people, what's our next step."

Everyone turned to Sam, who ran a hand through her hair, thinking fast. "We could try… I don't know, I just… we assumed it would know… maybe… Dad, what was the stuff about the days? Remember, that passage that didn't make sense…"

"Right, just a minute…" Jacob quickly found the passage she was referencing and said, "It talks about how the days progress normally one after another, dawn to dusk… then it switches, which we're guessing is about reversing the procedure. 'From dusk to dawn is the most dangerous time… something that's fuzzy, and a bunch of other warnings that make no sense… don't forget the earliest dawn, all kinds of stuff. What were these guys amateur poets or something?"

"No," Sam said quietly. "That's it…" she turned to Jack and asked quickly, "Sir, when's your birthday?"

He stared at her for a few moments before tapping his head. "Hello, amnesia check?"

"Right," she said, shaking her head and laughing at her own mistake. She knew his birthday anyway, she had just got a little caught up in the moment. "If we enter your birthday first, then enter today's date, I think it might work. I just need translate your Earth birthday to the cycle of the other planet and…"

"Yeah, whatever, just do it."

Sam grabbed the nearest notebook - which was in Teal'c's hands, and said, "Does anybody have a…" She rummaged in her shirt pocket and pulled out a crayon. "Never mind," she said absently, getting to work.

Jack raised both eyebrows in amusement. "Is this normal?" he asked Janet, nodding at Sam, who was muttering to herself and ticking numbers off on her fingers.

"Well, the crayons are new, but other than that, yes."

vvvvvvvvv

A/N: As many of you noted, particularly dietcokechic, this little twist of Jack using the device could easily have become a whole separate story with all sorts of shippery issues, which are obviously touched on here a bit... but I thought under these circumstances it made more sense if Sam just explained the situation as temporary, told him a little, and he just went along with it. It seemed sweeter to just have him pretty much trusting her blindly... plus that would have really taken the focus away from the rest of the story. I hope most of you sort of agree.