Sorry about updating late. I left my charger, so I couldn't use my laptop to update. That, and this chapter took a different turn than I was expecting. Hope the length makes up for it though! I hope everyone enjoys, and please leave a comment or criticism!

Saph's PoV

While Hanji ran back to get her medical supplies, I followed Leon to the clearing. Ruby's crumpled form lied in front of us with Eld leaning over her. His hand resting on her neck. A slow shake of his head was all that was needed to drive despair into our hearts.

"How could this have happened?" Leon cried out.

Her red hair was fanned around her head like the crimson blood seeping onto the ground. The neck at an awkward angle did nothing to take away from her beauty. She was a good person who didn't deserve to be brought down like this.

Levi kneeled to the ground, his fingers closing her eyes so gently, so softly, that the crude words and gestures Levi always portrayed were nowhere in sight.

"Ruby!" Hanji screamed as she ran up with multiple nurses by her side.

Leon ran up to her. He squeezed both of her arms as he tried to calm the frantic woman. "There is nothing you can do Hanji! She's gone."

"What happened?" Erwin's angry, booming voice stilled everyone. "Was the equipment tampered with or did it malfunction?"

Tears were streaming down her face as Hanji removed Ruby's gear. "This isn't her gear. I don't know whose gear it is, but it isn't hers."

"Whose is it?"

It was Levi who answered Erwin's question, "Saphs."

Perking my head up, I went over to take a look. "Why was she wearing my stuff?" Did this mean Ruby wasn't the intended target? Was someone trying to kill me? Cautiously, I took a few steps back, that was until I hit Levi. Swinging my fist around in a panic, he easily caught my arm.

"You need to calm down."

My breathing was becoming erratic as I imagined enemies on all sides of me. Hanji approached me with her hands raised. "I can't find any sign of someone messing with it, Saph. It must have been an accident." Her voice was soft, but a deep sorrow was embedded in it. "She must have gotten the equipment mixed up. That meant it was more likely to break since it wasn't adjusted for her. There is no need for you to be so scared."

Vulnerable. All of my senses were heightened with the adrenaline making my skin tingle. Gasp were catching in my throat as I tried to calm down. Shivers were crawling into my pores, danger, I was in danger. I needed to get out of there. A soft breeze was tickling the hairs on the back of my sweaty neck. "I'm going…" Glancing at Levi, I hopped from foot to foot. Impatient, but obedient.

"You can go."

I sprinted out of the woods. Branches slicing like daggers. Dark shapes looming as if to threaten me. My feet carried me back to the headquarters, A close comrade of mine had died. Unexpectedly. Not on the field of the battle, but home. Where we were supposed to be safe. Suddenly, I was back in the Underground. Not a single ally in sight. Nowhere was safe. A volatile panic had consumed my nerves. Making my actions jerky and stiff.

With its bare walls and sparse items, my room wasn't the coziest. My hands were shaking slightly, and my vision was fuzzy as belongings began to blur together. Sitting down on the bed, I fiddled with the edge of my shirt. Anything to occupy the time as I awaited for a verdict. A few soft knocks startled me out of my blankness

"Saph?" It was Hanji.

The wood floor creaked as I walked to the door. Dirt marks trailed behind, all left there because of my boots that were still left on.

There was a ring of redness around her eyes, the skin slightly puffed up. My voice was hoarse as I answered her. "I'm sorry for panicking, Hanji."

"It's understandable."

Perspiration was making her messy brown hair stick out in odd angles. A haggardness had lessened the light in her eyes until they were dark pools that didn't reflect anything. "That's the thing. It's not understandable. You lost your best friend."

"I've lost a lot of people, Saph."

"We all have. Doesn't mean there isn't pain with their deaths." My voice cracked on the last word. An image of Levi's broken face as he stared at Isabel's and Farlan's bloody bodies drenched themselves into my head. Families screaming, knowing their child or sibling or lover or parent had been gobbled down by a Titan as if they were apples. Now, Ruby, lying shattered, forever still. Everything was a reminder that my little brother, Suzu, could be dead in the depths of trash. The nightmares surrounding my younger brother all began to blend together. A deep of fear of seeing him dead was making my knees crack together. Yes, we have experienced death, but there are people who we would forever mourn.

"You don't have to worry. I can't find signs that this was intentional." Hanji reached a hand to my shoulder, but a quick jerk away sent away her hesitant fingers downwards to her side. "I'll see you later, Saph." The floor moaned underneath her weight. When the door clicked shut, I fell onto my bed.

No matter what Hanji had said, that keen understanding that something was wrong hadn't stopped digging into my gut. It stretched ahead of me, the ceiling. A different sight but the same sense of peril. Reaching my tips to the ground underneath the mattress, I felt the sharp blade. Slipping the knife into my pillow, I waited. There was a moment where I thought someone was going to knock on my door. A deep low voice that paused when he passed the entrance to my sanctuary. Levi.

Like he would openly show concern. For a second, I wondered what I would say if he came in. Would I avoid his touch like I did Hanji's? Would I tell him about my nightmares involving my brother? Or would we sit in silence? Suzu and I never talked when we nursed our wounds, thought about our fears, but I didn't want Suzu with me, I wanted Levi. That was probably because one had the capability to help me and the other I had to protect.

My stomach growled indicating that it was dinnertime. Instead of getting up, I stayed in bed. Moving slightly over in the sheets, I stared at the my dresser. Memorizing the curves and patterns as the hours passed by. Never had I kept my senses so heightened without shifting. This was the life I had wanted to run away from, and now, I was being stalked like prey. Back in the Underground, I knew that enemies surrounded me, but here, I didn't know who was out hunting for my life. And I didn't know how to handle this revelation.

Night had fallen by the time I had made my resolve. Wrapping my palm around the handle, I wrenched the daggar from the white cotton sheet. My breathing was slow as I made my way of the room, locking the door behind me. Thoughts were struggling against each other, crashing against each other until my own balance was affected. Steps wobbly, the battle raged until I reached Levi's door. A sound of papers rustling, the noise, scrambled my already messed up feelings.

"Levi?" I called out, faintly, weakly.

Not a response, but I heard the sounds of him working at his desk stop.

A low light lamp was turned on, casting shadows on his sunken cheeks. Sorrow. Grief. Unlike Hanji, there wasn't tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes but blank stares and haggard features.

"You certainly have gotten smarter. I was getting tired of you pointing knives at me," Levi gruffly noted the weapon I held lightly in my grip.

Scoffing, I bit my lip. "Can you… come see Brutus with me? I want to ask if their is any word of someone having it out for me."

"I thought you liked being an idiot and sneaking off by yourself?"

"Guess it's different when I'm being targeted." I sat down in the chair across from him. My legs finally accepted the fact that I couldn't handle this on my own.

For my trouble, I got was a skeptical stare. All of his attention was focused on me, with those damn raised eyebrows.

I snorted. "I know everyone thinks it was just an accident, but I believe otherwise. Surviving in the Underground for as long as I did, I didn't do that by not trusting my intuition."

"Who's after you then?"

"Kenny." A tired sigh left him as his gaze darted to the right. The man who raised him, who was his uncle, I was accusing of trying to kill me. Moistening my lips, I tried to assure him. "I know you're not apart of of it, and that's not why I'm asking you."

"Do it on your own."

Admissions weren't my thing. Especially, ones that showed weakness. Nails digging into my pants, I struggled with what I should say. Not knowing what Levi felt about me was becoming a heavy burden. There was no hate between us anymore, but I wasn't sure if he trusted me. It was hard to tell with me. I could never read Levi.

"Go to bed, Saph. If you still want to go see Brutus tomorrow, then maybe."

"Could I-" sleep in here? No. I couldn't ask that. Levi would never allow it.

As if he heard the unasked part of the question, Levi folded his arms on the desk and gave me a frigid regard. "You're acting paranoid because you're exhausted," he said as he leaned over the desk to flick my forehead. "Get some sleep."

After I grumbled, "And who do you think is to blame for that?" I left. Rubbing the skin that had been flicked, I went back to my own space. At least I felt a little better before I had came in. Levi said that he would go if I still wanted to in the morning, so that was something.

Sleep was fitful, but the exhaustion from doing laundry all day helped me drift off into a world filled with soap bubbles and cutting eyes.

With Ruby's death being such an unusual case, whispers of mourning were strong. Nobody was supposed to die so unexpectedly, so accidentally while they were in the Survey Corps. Our murderers slept beyond the walls with appetites for our souls. Hanji struggled with her best friend's death for a few days, but like everyone else, she soon buried it. Put her heart back in a coffin where it nestled in dreams of vengeance.

Because of Ruby's death, a spot had opened up in the Special Operations Squad. The past week was spent with rumors about on who would be chosen next. That meant Levi was kept busy with Erwin as they tried to find a suitable replacement. Every time I thought we could go to town, Erwin interrupted. Finally, I had made my way to Levi while he was on the training grounds to demand that he come with me to town.

"Why? Because you're scared shitless to go alone?" He scoffed at me.

"You promised that you would go!"

Turning his back on me, Levi continued to wipe the dirt off of him with a handkerchief. "Leave. I'm busy."

Before I could argue, the girl I had talked to over a week ago came jogging up to us. Petra wasn't it? A boy that looked to be around the same age of her, wasn't to far behind her excited figure.

"Hello, Sir. I'm Petra Ral, and I'm reporting for duty!"

"The name is Auruo Bossard, Sir." The guy offered his hand to Levi as he smiled. "Reporting for duty too."

Levi only stared at the outstretched limb with disgust. Not even acknowledging the apparently two new additions to our small team, he faced me. "Show them the ropes." Without a glance their way, Levi stalked off.

Heaving a deep, heavy, sigh that revealed just how burdened I was with this command, I let all my anger from before dissipate into the chilly air. I couldn't help feel sorry for the two, stunned, people in front of me. Giving them a weak smile, I offered my condolences for having their dreams of Humanity's Strongest Soilder dashed in the mere seconds they got to meet him. "He's not like you expected, I bet."

"Is he having a bad day?" Petra asked, a troubled look on her face.

I shook my head. "Nope. He's always like that. A bit of advice, keep your surroundings and yourselves clean."

That didn't seem to make Auruo very happy. "Why?"

"Lev's a clean freak. You'll scrub the entire headquarters floors if you make a mess."

"Is that because he came from the Underground?" The question wasn't posed in a scornful way, but the nasty whispers of two years ago were a reminder of how people looked down on us before for where we grew up.

Auruo stared in shock as I whirled on him. "We both came from the Underground. I'd be careful with mentioning that because I won't allow you to badmouth either Levi or me."

Petra elbowed him in the ribs, hard. "Don't be rude."

"It was just a question."

Satisfied, I gestured towards the trees. "This is where the Special Operations Squad trains. We'll most likely be focusing on teamwork exercises for the next month since with new additions, adjustments will have to be made."

"I'm more of a solo guy. Having over a 20 kill record kind of speaks for itself."

Would I get punished for slapping the new recruit upside the head? At least Petra was kindly listening to explanations instead of bragging. Mere seconds and I already despised this guy. However, if I lost my patience, I would most likely lose the respect of my newest subordinates. "That might have to change."

"Why are you acting so high and mighty? You're younger than us."

"Auruo!"

Stiffening, my fist began to tremble with rage. My mood was sour already, I didn't need anybody, much less a guy like him talking me down today. "Age doesn't matter in the Survey Corps. It is experience and skill that counts on the battlefield. I may be a few years your junior, but you are still my subordinate."

"I still don't see how the greatest soldier in the history of mankind has a baby for a second in command. It's shameful if you ask me."

I snapped. Two years I had maintained a disposition that betrayed none of my true character to anyone but Levi and some to Hanji. Not the pressure of Titans had made me falter, not constantly being surrounded by comrades that sometimes had truly odd personalities, not even when the Wall was taken over did I break my likable facade. But Ruby had recently died. I believed someone was trying to murder me. Levi hadn't gone to town with me. My shoulders still ached from all the washing I had done. Nightmares had kept me awake until the sun peeked over the hills. I was tired and irritated. Then this arrogant asshole thought he could stride in here like he fucking belonged, and suggest that I shouldn't be second in command? I had reached my breaking point, and decided that I should break this little shits neck.

He never saw my leg coming. It took nothing to sweep his feet from underneath him and make him fall to his knees. There was no need to rush as I swooped down to my boot to grab my knife. Grabbing a fistful of his curly hair, I yanked his head back. My dagger glinting as I rested it against his exposed throat.

"Move and I start slashing," I whispered into his ear. The sound of him gulping made me grin. Pulling back a little, I made sure to give him a full view of my smile, all teeth. "Listen here, I stopped being a baby the day I was thrown into that pit of hell you people call an Underground," I started, not quite yelling, but not quite talking in a normal tone of voice either. "You want to know how a ten year old kid survived down there?" I didn't give him time to answer the rhetorical question. "I would stab people with this knife here while they slept in their cozy little bed. Over and over until their blood was in my hair and mouth. Red all on the walls. Most of the time, after I killed them, I would just steal whatever I wanted to from their house. But you see, sometimes I was real hungry."

I felt him shiver. Before he could interrupt, I continued.

"Once, after I cut open a guy's jugular, he started spraying that stuff everywhere until copper covered my tongue. It got me thinking, what would he taste like? So, I used my handy blade to make him into little pieces. He was a big fella, all fat with little muscle."

Auruo was shaking real hard, tears were in his eyes. I didn't glance to see if Petra was still there and listening or if she had run off. Yeah, I was taking it out on someone who probably didn't deserve it, but toying with someone was diminishing my frustration that had built up over the past days.

"That's the best you know? It's not tough, and it cooks good. Hisses and bubbles when it gets real hot. Smells good too." I made a show of licking my lips. "That one guy was enough food for a week! Probably my favorite dish too. But you see, even in that hell, they don't like dealing with cannibals. Your average rapist, thieves, and murders are fine, but cannibals? No one likes the idea of someone gnawing on their bones." I ground my teeth together to drive home the point. "You gotta be real careful. Can't do it too often, but that makes it all the more exciting! There was a vast variety down there. Nobody tastes the same. You know what I realized made the best dish, though? When it's someone you hate. Gives it a special flavor, a seasoning if you will." Sometimes, I miss it. I mean, they do have great food here, but nothing is better than swallowing your enemy's flesh."

He began to cry, snot dribbling out of his nose. My eyes darted to the side to see if Petra was still around. She was. Knowing that I had an audience made me act all the more wilder. They would fear me. Oh they would. I was the one in control of this situation, not anyone else.

"Do you know what's interesting? Your kill record and my fine dining plan almost match! So, I would remember something if you ever think it's a good idea to call me a baby again. You may be older… but I'm hungrier," I snarled. I released his head and removed my knife from his neck. The guy couldn't get up fast enough. Both him and Petra fled to the headquarters, the smell of piss hanging in the air.

A loud cackling interrupted my satisfaction. Craning my head, I found Hanji howling with maniacal laughter. Levi was next to her. This wasn't going to be good.

"Holy shit, Saph! I came here to see how the new additions were doing. That, that was something I wasn't expecting!" She was holding her sides, bent over as her body shook. It was the first time I had seen her enjoy herself since Ruby had died.

"How do you know that it wasn't all true?" I asked.

The woman was a little out of breath, but she could still answer me. "I know the rumors that revolve around the Underground, but I know you would never do something like that."

"It's disgusting," Levi agreed, grimacing at the thought.

He didn't seem as mad as I thought he was going to be. The relief made my body a bit lighter. "You can't even touch a person without being grossed out and crying icky."

"I told you to show them the ropes, not scare them so hard that they piss their pants."

"Well Auruo was acting like a brat! I just used all the exaggerated gossip to my advantage."

"You act like a brat all the time."

My mouth hung wide open. "I can't believe you're lecturing me when you intimidate me and physically punish me all the time!"

Hanji nudged my shoulder with her own. "Come on, Saph. I think Levi just believed he was making you a better person by doing all that."

In a deadpan voice, Levi explained his reasoning. "Negative reinforcement using pain is one of the surest ways to teach obedience."

While Levi was just below my chin, it really felt like I had to dip my head low to make my gaze level with his. Smirking, I responded, "Thanks. I'll remember that. Next time one of my subordinates act out, I'll get in a fist fight with them."

Scowling at me, Levi didn't get a chance to chastise me before Hanji slapped both of us on the back. "You two are hilarious. I'll see you both at dinner."

Neither of us dropped eye contact to watch her recede. What came next out of Levi's mouth surprised me. "You still haven't finished your laundry duties."

"Can't. I'm showing the newbies how things are run around here. I'm too busy to do both," I teased. Feeling better than I had for days.

Levi just stared coldly at me. His usual deadpan expression on as always.

"Fine. Let me just go to town after dinner, and I'll clean all the laundry tomorrow and teach Petra and Auruo what to do."

All it took was for him to raise his eyebrows before I began to explain.

"Having a person gunning for me is the least dangerous thing compared to living in the Underground and battling Titans. I got this. I can handle this. Don't know why I came crawling to you for protection when I'm certainly capable of handling myself. I was never escorted down there, and I certainly don't need to be on the surface."

"Don't forget to apologize to them tonight."

I whined, "Do I have to?"

A good smack on the back of my head was my answer. He had whapped me hard.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Levi sternly said, "See? Negative reinforcement." It was hard to tell if he was bantering or just proving his point.

"...I hate you."

To answer the guest, Cindy, questions: At the beginning of the story, Saph was thirteen. It's been 3 years, so she is 16 now. In the beginning, Levi was twenty. He's 23 right now. There is a roughly 7 year age difference between them. Attack on Titan timeline wise, they are three years before the Battle of Trost. The next chapters are going to focus a lot on Saph's relationships and on the disappearance of her brother before we go back to canon. Hope this clears things up for you!