A/N: Ok, so I was going to chop this chapter up..make it shorter. But I figure I've withheld Haley's secret long enough..so here it is. And please review of course.
Nathan clung to Haley, all remnants of their argument earlier, forgotten. He silently thanked Brooke for 'making' them dance together. If he had to see James with her one more time...let's just say that James would not leave a happy- and healthy- person.
As if reading his mind, Haley interrupted his thoughts, saying, "So what do you think of James?" She paused slightly to gauge his reaction. "I think I might stay in touch with him..."
Now she felt Nathan stiffen, and his face hardened. "You're going to have a boyfriend?" he asked, his voice tight and tense.
Haley just laughed, readjusting her hands around his neck. Nathan felt shivers run throughout his body as her fingers brushed his bare skin. "I already have one," she answered. "Unless you're breaking it off with me..." she said, humor lacing her voice.
Nathan grinned in return. "I don't think you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now."
Haley's eyes widened slightly. "You know you can't-"
"I know," Nathan replied simply. "But I still want to." His eyes strayed past her and a small smirk played across his lips. He nodded slightly in a direction over her shoulder. "They look happy."
Haley turned slightly, following his gaze. She cringed a little when she saw Lucas and Peyton dancing uncomfortably nearby. Lucas was looking at anywhere but Peyton, he couldn't be more obvious about it. "Maybe we should go break them up-"
Nathan shook his head quickly. "Let them keep dancing. If you break them up, then we won't get to dance together anymore."
Haley's eyes found their way back to Nathan's. She stared into them for a second, basking in the feel that resulted. But in the pit of her stomach, she knew it would be one of the last times she saw that look in his eyes. After she told him... it would be over.
Trying to shake off those thoughts and enjoy the night they did have, she smiled up at him. "I love you," she whispered.
Nathan pulled her to him, only slightly, to decrease the distance that they had to keep between them. "Me too."
The two rotated their motion, switching positions in their stance. Haley was turned just in time to see Peyton run off and out the door. Haley made to follow her, but Nathan held her back. "Nathan, let me go see if Peyton's alright," she hissed at him.
"Wait," Nathan said as he watched Lucas stand in a defeated stance in the middle of the dance floor. "If I know my brother, he'll go after her."
And sure enough, Lucas followed her out the door, not giving one glance at Brooke and James, who were dancing on the other side of the room.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Why did the party had to be on the fourth floor, where the only doors you can storm out of lead to the freezing, hundred degrees below zero weather, Peyton asked herself as she leaned on the ledge of the wall, looking over it to the view below.
She took a deep breath, trying to control herself and swallow the tears that were threatening to fall. Letting the breath out slowly, she started to rub her hands up and down her arms in an attempt to keep warm. Why do they even sell dresses without sleeves in New York?
What had just happened in there? She thought that her and Lucas were getting along fine. Was he really that disgusted by her that he couldn't even touch her? She couldn't stop the dry sob that left her throat. She had lived all these years without him, thinking about what they could have been constantly...but she was the one who had messed it up. She had given him up, and he had a right to be mad about it, to be disgusted with her. Tears clouded her eyes as she felt something rest on her shoulders.
Blinking her eyes rapidly, she turned to see Lucas now standing next to her. He had drapped the jacket of his tux over his shoulders. She noticed he had his arms crossed in front of him, something he never did.
Peyton thought of taking the jacket off, throwing it to the ground and then stomping on it... but then she thought of the goosebumps that were spreading across her arms and the way her teeth were chattering, and thought differently. At least the jacket made her a little warmer.
"You could've walked outside at anytime in Tree Hill without a jacket. Forget we weren't there anymore?"
Peyton had banished all signs of tears, but was sure that he had heard the strangled sob that issued from her throat moments before. But instead of being embarrassed or vulnerable, she did what she usually did as a teenager: acted tough.
"Do you really hate me that much, Lucas? That you can't even get through a three minute dance with me?" she asked in a harsh voice.
Lucas looked taken aback for a moment, but he recovered quickly. "That's definitely not the problem..." he said slowly. His eyes raked over her again. Why did she have to be so beautiful, he asked himself for the hundreth time that night.
start flashback
He watched her as her hands flew over the sketch habitually, almost fluently, as she slowly created her latest sketch.
"That's the first time I've seen you draw all summer..."
Peyton nodded. "Yup."
Lucas was silent for a moment, as he continued to watch her movements, mesmerized. "Why didn't you draw anything before?"
Peyton looked up from her drawing, shifting herself slightly on the bed beside him. The pencil became limp in her hand as she pursed her lips, as though thinking. "I guess I had no inspiration. There was nothing in my life that made me want to create anything."
Lucas was still watching her from his laying down position on her bed. Peyton situated herself so that she could lay down next to him, the pad and pencil still in her hands. They were now laying side by side, fitting just right on her mattress. Peyton rested her head against his shoulder, as her hand went back to work over the paper.
"I think I could sit here and watch you draw all day..." he muttered softly.
Peyton smiled meekly. "And you wouldn't get at all bored?" she asked him, grinning.
"Not with you."
She gave him a gentle kiss next to his temple. He could feel his body heat up at her actions.. giving him the impulse to pull her into his arms and start kissing her senseless. But, they were taking it slow. And even as a guy, he could deal with that, he reassured himself. He could.
He adjusted himself on the bed a bit to accommodate his new...uncomfortableness.
"Can I ask you something?" Peyton said slowly, as if she was unsure of the outcome her question was going to bring.
"Yeah..sure."
"That first night of the summer... why did you come to the beach?"
Lucas stopped fiddling with her fingers and froze. "I knew that you were going to be there," he replied with a cringe.
"How?"
"Because you had been going to that same place on the beach, every night, since Jake was in jail."
Lucas forced himself to look at her, and found that her eyes held confusion. "How did you know that?"
He hesitated slightly. "The first night that Jake spent in jail, I came to check on you.. but you were leaving the house," he said slowly and then paused. "And I kinda followed you to the beach," he finished in an undertone.
"You followed me?" Peyton asked, scandalized.
"I wanted to make sure that you weren't doing anything..."
"Like going to buy drugs?" Peyton asked, being more staightforward.
Lucas nodded shamefully. "I only wanted to make sure that you were okay."
She nodded while Lucas watched her carefully. "Are you mad?"
Peyton smiled. "Nope. But I am grateful. We really weren't even talking then..and you still looked out for me- even if it was by stalking me," she added with a laugh.
Lucas smiled at her laugh. It was a wonderful sound to him, her laugh. His laugh had been the thing he had always loved about her, even when they were littler. It was probably the first thing he fell in love with about her... when he was, well, maybe ten or so.
He smiled to himself at the memory, which Peyton caught.
"What are you smiling about?"
"I was just thinking, how ever since I've been younger- like in Middle School- I've always had this...thing for you. It was more than a crush.."
"And there were never any other girls?" Peyton asked playfully.
"Oh there were other girls," he replied, with a knowing smirk. "But I always felt something for you, even when I was with them."
Peyton was watching him, her mouth half open. "And I barely knew you existed," she answered, struggling not to smile.
"Yeah," Lucas said, as he scratched the back of his neck, embarrassedly. "I knew that, too."
"You really are a stalker!" Peyton stated. "I feel like you've been watching me all my life. You probably know things about me that I don't.."
"I plan to," he replied, as he swept her up into his arms, crashing his lips a bit violently into hers. Peyton struggled while their mouths were still connected to sit up, to get better access to his warm mouth. He groaned into hers as she pushed against him. His thoughts were fogging, and he could only think of one thing...slow...they were taking it slow...
Lucas pulled back a little suddenly, leaving Peyton with a dazed look on her face. He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, so he could see her face better. He wanted to know every inch of her, every curve of her face, every line of her body, every dream she had.. he wanted to be able to help her achieve those dreams, to make her feel like she mattered, to make her feel wanted and special... he wanted everything for her, everything with her.
end flashback
But then she had left...all those years ago.
"Then what's the problem?" Peyton asked him, pulling him from his thoughts about the past.
Lucas forced out a breath. He moved so he could rest his arms on the wall beside her, twirling the wedding ring on his finger.
Peyton turned her head as she heard the door open, again, behind them. Brooke was in the doorway, looking timidly at Peyton. "Are you okay, Peyton? I saw you leave the room.."
Peyton turned from the wall and Lucas, walking back to her friend. "Yeah...I just needed some air. I wasn't feeling very well."
Brooke nodded, her eyes glancing past her to Lucas, who was still leaning on the wall, his head lowered, as if in shame. "Luke?"
Lucas' head jerked up. "Are you coming back in?" Brooke asked, her confusion at his actions evident.
His eyes met Peyton's for a second, but Peyton looked away quickly, ducking back inside. A few moments later, Brooke and Lucas followed. Brooke bumped into Peyton who had stopped in her tracks, only a few feet into the room.
"Peyton what-" Brooke started, but her voice died out and her mouth dropped open in shock. She glanced at Lucas, whose eyebrows were raised, and then to Peyton, who was smiling. Then her eyes were drawn back to what was in front of her: Nathan and Haley were locked in a kiss, in the middle of the dance floor.
XOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
As Peyton walked the couple of steps up to her apartment, she turned to wave good-bye to Brooke in her car. Her and Brooke, and to Peyton's chagrin, Lucas, had gone to get a bite to eat. She had convinced the other two to leave to party to give Nathan and Haley their moment together, and they had gone to get a snack at a little restaurant. Peyton grinned to herself at the looks on Lucas' and Brooke's faces. They were... priceless. Party dress for the worst party ever: $50. Arguing once again with Lucas: 10 pounds of gained fat from eating a whole carton of ice cream when she got home. Seeing Nathan and Haley spill their not-so-secret-anymore-relationship: Priceless. She was such a dork, she thought to herself.
But in the back of her head, Lucas' words seemed to echo. The response to her questioning his supposed hatred towards her: "That's definitely not the problem..." What was that supposed to mean, she thought furiously to herself. Was he implying what she thought he was: that he didn't hate her... that it was something else..?
She opened up the door, expecting to see Nathan and Haley snuggled up on the couch, but saw the complete opposite. All thoughts of Lucas immediately were pushed aside. Haley was curled up in a ball, a pillow hugged to her chest for some sort of comfort, and Peyton could hear the strangled sobs issuing from her. Dropping her bag to the the floor, Peyton lowered herself gently onto the couch next to Haley, putting a hand on her arm. Haley didn't look up at her, but continued to cry, the tears bouncing down her face and onto her sweatshirt that she had changed into.
"So you told Nathan, then?" Peyton asked, gently.
Haley nodded, while frantically trying to wipe her face dry, as she looked up at Peyton. The action was to no avail due to the fact that more tears kept pouring out.
"What happened? What did he say?"
Haley opened her mouth and told the story through her tears.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Haley and Nathan came into hers and Peyton's apartment, finding it to be dark and empty.
"Where did they all go- Peyton, Brooke and Lucas? They just kinda disappeared from the party, after they all went through that door.." Haley wondered out loud.
"Well.. they're not here... And I know that we have an entire apartment to ourselves, alone for the first time in months..." Nathan started.
"And that we could take full advantage of our alone time...is that what you're thinking?" Haley asked as she dropped her bag onto the table.
"Maybe," Nathan replied as he lowered his lips slowly and sensuously onto hers. But then he broke the kiss and backed up a bit, releasing his hands that had intwined themselves around Haley's back. "Maybe not," he continued playfully.
Haley smiled and rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said airly. "Guess I'll go call James and see if he wants to come over to this big, empty apartment," Haley said as she slowly sauntered over to the phone.
Nathan stiffened a bit, but his smile didn't fade until Haley started to dial the phone. He rushed over to grab it from her, while Haley tried to hold it over her head. Nathan didn't even have to reach to get the phone from her hand, which he threw onto the couch.
"Changed your mind?" Haley asked him, with a grin.
She found her hands slowly undoing his tie, and Nathan's hands were on her face, bringing hers up to his, to meet. Enveloped by passion, neither bothered to lock the door to the house, or make sure that no one would walk on on them. At this point, neither had the inkling to care.
The only thing that stopped them was Haley's dress. "What is this thing glued on you?" Nathan asked, his voice deeper than usual, as he struggled to get her dress from the party off. Nathan, himself, was only down to his dress pants.
"Don't rip it!" Haley replied. "It cost me a fortune," she said as he still pulled on it. She slapped his hands away. "Let me go change, into something I know can come easy enough for you. Zippers all right?"
Nathan gave her a look and Haley went to find herself something.
Moments later she was back. She could feel Nathan's mouth on her neck, the feeling sending sensations throughout her body. But something was holding her back... a feeling that had been in the back of her mind, in the back of her heart for a while now. It was guilt. She had to tell him tonight.. that was the plan, she remembered. Haley pulled back a little, and Nathan sat back up, a confused look on his face.
"Nathan I... I need to tell you something. I've been... keeping something from you, for a while now. I don't think that it's fair to you... not to know..."
Nathan swallowed visibly. Just her tone was making him nervous. "Okay.." he replied slowly, moving away from her on the couch.
Haley opened her mouth and shut it again. This was bad, Nathan thought. A million thoughts started to run through his head. Did she want to break-up? Did she meet someone else? Was she leaving on tour again, only to leave him behind?
"I don't know where to begin," she muttered softly. Nathan's face clenched as she grabbed his hands in hers, bringing them to a her mouth. She kissed them gently. His brain flashed back to the last time she had done that- when she had told him that she had been offered to go on the tour... when she had told him that she kissed Chris...
"Years ago... when I first came back from the tour at the beginning of the summer before senior year..." she began tentatively, but stopped, biting her lip.
"Haley..", Nathan said as he took one of his hands out of her grasp to touch her face gently- but Haley backed away, tears springing to her eyes. She shook her head rapidly, and Nathan could see her chest rise and fall faster as her rate of breathing increased.
"I didn't just come back to see you.. to try and resolve us... " she continued, a tear falling slowly down her face. "I came to tell you something."
She paused again. Nathan was actually scared; she was acting as if the world was ending.
"I was- we were- I came back because...I was pregnant," Haley said, as she clenched her eyes shut.
Maybe the world was ending.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Brooke and Lucas' ride back to their own home was quiet. One of those uncomfortable kind of quiets, where neither one really had anything to say to each other. Lucas didn't like it, because it left him to ponder his own thoughts. What had possessed him to say to Peyton that the problem wasn't that he hated her... Why? What must she be thinking now...
And why had he really said it?
"What were you and Peyton doing outside?" Brooke's voice asked, shattering his thoughts about Peyton. Sitting with his wife, thinking about Peyton...
Lucas cleared his throat. "Like she said.. she didn't feel well. I followed her to see if she was all right."
Brooke nodded and Lucas could tell that she didn't believe him. She didn't press the matter any further though.
The silence was back and so were Lucas' thoughts. Why had he really said that? He didn't hate her. He should after what she did to him... but he didn't. She had broken his heart, but he didn't hate her for it. What was worse, he couldn't even stop thinking about her. It was Peyton... the Peyton he had been in love with for half of his life...
And then the realization hit him: He had never fallen out of love with her, had he? That was why he didn't hate her, because he couldn't.
He still loved her. Lucas Scott was still in love with Peyton Sawyer.
That was the new thought that plagued his mind as Brooke shifted in her seat beside him.
Well..Haley's secret...pregnant three years ago...so what happened to said baby? And with Lucas' new revelation..what's to come for present LP? Please review! Thanks :)