A/N: Contains Daisuke/Satoshi. Don't like, don't read.
DISCLAIMER: fan fiction FAN WRITINGS.
/Dark or Daisuke mentally talking/
/Krad or Satoshi mentally talking/
To Break
Chapter 05: Beyond Friendship
LAST CHAPTER
"Satoshi, I won't leave you… ever." I whispered. Immediately he seemed to calm down and his eyes locked with mine. We were only inches apart. Somehow I felt awkward, but in a way, I was comfortable. I gazed into his pain-filled eyes and lost myself.
"I won't leave." I breathed.
"I… k…no…w…"
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( SATOSHI - POV )
I didn't even have to open my eyes to know that there was a warming presence in my room. It was night, for I felt no light hit my eyelids and the air around me seemed cooler. What had happened? Oh, that's right... Krad. I made to sigh, but my chest seemed constricted and tight, I couldn't bear to breath in too deeply, for it seemed that my lungs would cave in. Broken... were my ribs broken? I snaked my hand up and onto my chest and ran my fingers gingerly felt my ribcage through a clean shirt... bandages? I trailed up further and touched something soft draped over me... an arm. I was so tired and weak that I couldn't even open my eyes, but I knew that it was Daisuke...
"I won't leave you... ever!"
So sweet and caring… Daisuke. Without him here, Krad would've... I couldn't stand to ponder over what would have happened. If Daisuke just ran out of my apartment and left as I told him, I am sure that I wouldn't be here currently awakening. I would, instead, be looking down from above into an empty room with my torn and shameful earthy vessel inhabiting my bed - lonely and lifeless.
I remember how I just... stopped breathing and gave up with Krad on top of me. I didn't think that it was possible for me to get as scared as I was then. I was terrified and paralyzed - I couldn't move, I was suffocating.
My hand gripped over Daisuke's smooth wrist, reassuring me that this wasn't a dream. I was alive - if only to just to feel his warmth radiating from him like an invisible aura... I felt that this was my reason to live.
I felt Daisuke's arm tense and pull away - off of my collarbone. I shivered from the lack of it and tried opening my eyes, but to no avail - I still wasn't awake enough yet.
"Satoshi... are you awake?" I heard Daisuke's gentle voice echo faintly over me and was barely aware of strands of hair being removed from their place over my eyes. "Satoshi..." Daisuke's voice echoed around in my brain and I heard my name being said over and over again before it disappeared altogether and left me in a deafening silence. I wished that he would continue talking, but he didn't. In fact, his weight was lifted from my bed. He left me and I felt a familiar sting behind my eyes resurface with vengeance. Where did he go? Daisuke come back!
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( 3rd PERSON - POV )
"Daisuke! I put up with this long enough! Come home you're not safe over there!" Emiko's worried voice yelled through Satoshi's cell phone, for he didn't have a home phone to call from.
"But, Mother... He wants company, he's lonely!" Daisuke said. He hadn't enlightened Emiko about the Krad "incident" and he was never planning on tell her... for Satoshi's sake.
"DAISUKE!"
"Mom, No! He's in rough shape, I'm just cooking for him, chatting, and picking up his place a little bit to get his spirits up!" That was a lie but he actually planned on cooking him something.
"DAI, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!" Emiko turned from the phone and yelled, "Kosuke, get on the phone and talk to your son!" A few seconds later, Daisuke's huffing father grabbed the phone and scurried away from the furious Emiko.
"Daisuke?"
"Err... yeah Dad?"
"Nothing has happened over there, has it?"
"No, I'm just encouraging him to get better, like I told Mom. You know he lives by himself... he doesn't live with his family, you know... Think how lonely and forgotten he must feel when he is injured and hurt being in such a desolate place!" Daisuke's eyes welled up. 'Oh! Daisuke, pull yourself together!' Daisuke scolded himself for being so emotional on the phone.
"You're a good friend, Daisuke, no matter what your Mom is leading you to believe."
"..." Daisuke paused. Was he really a good friend? Leading Satoshi out in a storm, and making him angry enough to yell at him - then shut away himself in his room.
"Daisuke, take care of yourself, I trust you. Somehow, I'll convince Emiko to see things our way. She just fears for your health. You are feeling better, aren't you?
"Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry. If I get into anything trouble, I will come home strait away. I just feel like it's my responsibility to look after him."
"I love you, Son."
"I love you too Dad"
"Good luck! See you later, alligator!"
"Bye."
Click.
Daisuke ended the call and turned off Satoshi's cell phone altogether. The last thing Satoshi needed right now was work and going to "pointless" school. 'See you later, alligator? Oh Dad...' Daisuke laughed at Kosuke's attempt at being funny. "You sure would like to be a kid again, wouldn't you, Dad?" Daisuke said to himself aloud, thoughtful.
Daisuke once again positioned himself on Satoshi's (fluffy) bed and sat cross-legged next to Satoshi's still form. He waited patiently for him to move or show any more signs of consciousness. Daisuke knew it took him a while to fully wake up due to his blood pressure issue.
Satoshi seemed so fragile, but beautiful. Like a blue rose tossed carelessly onto the street, he lay peacefully. The petals' delicacy would be a harsh contrast to the pavement. If one were to pick up the rose, its petals would for sure fall off. No one then would pick it up, afraid of damaging it further. Daisuke longed to cradle and hold Satoshi like he had on the day of the storm after he had dressed up Satoshi's wounds, but Daisuke was afraid now. He was unsure of what he should do and how he should react around Satoshi.
Daisuke leaned forward and rested his chin on his hands that were propped up on his knees. Daisuke had taken off his black hoodie and just wore his plain faded orange long-sleeved t-shirt. Thoughts of Riku ironically appeared in his mind. Her determined smile, and thoughtful nature... she had been there for him for a while now. But now, she's not. Riku might be falling for his friend, Takeshi, it could be possible, and considering that's what is occupying his latest dreams. Daisuke sighed and closed his eyes. But, in the conversation with Dark, Daisuke had led on that he had feelings for Satoshi beyond friendship. Daisuke seemed overwhelmed in confusion over his mixed feelings.
Beyond friendship... Daisuke considered that it was unheard of for a person in his family to be homosexual and would not be accepted. Even if he did have feelings for Satoshi, Daisuke felt like he would be betraying his beliefs... betraying Riku. Satoshi was so important to him and he couldn't imagine what it would be like to get out of touch and not being about to see or talk to him in close intervals.
Did Satoshi have strong feelings for him that Daisuke was unaware of? Daisuke shook his head, for Satoshi had become upset and willed him to leave after he said the word "friends." Daisuke continued to wait anxiously. 'Could I return the feeling?' Thinking on the subject, Daisuke thought that it wouldn't be all bad to fall for a guy... Satoshi... to say the least. But the fact for actually falling for a GUY, throbbed like a sore thumb in his brain. 'Just forget about it, Daisuke! Don't worry, let things flow naturally!' Daisuke thought. 'Maybe I'm trying to go into too deep... yeah that's it, I'm just driving myself crazy for no reason.'
"Yeah, that's it." Daisuke whispered and opened his eyes to find Satoshi's eyes unfocused on the wall opposite of him. "Oh, Satoshi! Are you awake now?" Daisuke asked and Satoshi's tired aqua eyes slowly turned to meet his joyous red ones.
"I... t...hi..nk..." Satoshi yawned and cutely covered his mouth with his hand to muffle it.
"Oh, I'm so happy! Would you like some... err... dinner, or early midnight snack?" Daisuke got up and jumped off of Satoshi's bed and Satoshi's heart dropped a little bit. Daisuke waited patiently for Satoshi's answer with a slaphappy grin on his face.
"No, I'm not hungry now. I'll eat in the morning. Thanks for taking care of me. I'm better now... if you would like to go home."
"Nah, I don't believe you! I bet you won't eat a thing once I'm out of here! I'm staying - so call it a sleep over!" Daisuke grinned and trotted into the kitchen.
"Oh..." Satoshi was glad that Daisuke was going to stay with him through the night and that he wasn't going to be alone in his apartment. But, Satoshi couldn't seem to shake the feeling that there was something strange going on with Daisuke. It was odd, for Daisuke was acting as he always did - carefree and happy. But, Satoshi knew for a fact that Daisuke also used that facade to cover things up so people wouldn't worry about him. Daisuke...
"Here you go! A fresh banana!" Daisuke bound back into his room and handed the ripe herb to Satoshi. "That's all I could find in your kitchen that was handy and edible. We should go shopping tomorrow, if you feel up to it."
"Yeah, probably." Satoshi attempted to sit up, but Daisuke in the end, had to assist him. Daisuke sat next to him and helped stabilize him. "Thanks, my chest feels funny, I think I broke a few ribs." Satoshi looked down and peeled the banana. He bit into it very slowly.
Daisuke flushed. "No, I broke them while... err... revitalizing you. Hehe!" Daisuke let out a nervous laugh and Satoshi quit chewing and swallowed loudly.
There was a silent pause before Satoshi spoke softly, "CPR?"
"Your pulse went down and stopped and you weren't breathing! I didn't know whether or not to call an ambulance - I worried that Krad may attack you and your secret would be exposed..." Daisuke trailed off and laid his head lightly on Satoshi's shoulder to Satoshi's surprise. "I was so worried that you weren't going to breathe! I was so worried!" Daisuke wrapped his arms around Satoshi's and held on as if he were afraid that Satoshi was going to disappear.
"...Thank you." Satoshi whispered. 'He continues to surprise me.' Satoshi thought as he took another go at eating his banana. "For everything... thank you." Satoshi put emphasis on "thank you," for he was truly grateful. His mind raced back on the day when he had performed CPR on an unconscious Daisuke, who was actually Wiz, how a rush overtook him... how he feared for Daisuke's life in the short minute that he wasn't breathing. Satoshi's face heated up as he remembered what it had been like when he had placed his mouth over Daisuke's. Girls around them were being perverted as they 'awed' and giggled in excitement over a "boy-to-boy" kiss. Even though he knew it was a Daisuke replica... the experience had shaken him. From there on out, he couldn't seem to look at Daisuke the same.
"Well... I'm going to turn in for the night, I'm exhausted!" Daisuke said with a playful smile as he stretched his arms up, yawning.
"You must be..." Satoshi spoke softly. Knowing Daisuke, he kept a close hard eye on Satoshi for hours until he awoke. Satoshi pictured Daisuke's hands gently cleaning scratches and placing bandages on his chest and back. He blushed at the thought.
"Satoshi, you don't worry about a thing, okay? If you need anything, just let me know! I'll be on the sofa." Daisuke yawned again. "Do you happen to have a blanket that I could borrow?"
"Um..." Satoshi replied. "I don't think I do... Hmmm... Check my closet."
"Okay!" Daisuke opened up Satoshi's closet and found hanging dress clothes and shoes neatly arranged on a rack. He dug further and caught a glimpse of a fuzzy cloth in the corner, he pulled it out. "Ah, it's just a bath towel!" Daisuke laughed and Satoshi's face flushed.
"Pardon the disorder." Satoshi stated, ashamed.
"A mere bath towel in your closet? Nah, I don't call that disorderly. Why have you become so uptight about the state of your apartment recently? Heck, the last time I visited, there were books and papers scattered everywhere!"
"I have been trying to cut back on work a bit to get everything under control."
"I personally think you've been relaxing and catching up on sleep." Daisuke smiled again.
"Probably." Satoshi muttered.
"Though, it is a nice towel, I have to admit." Daisuke rubbed it up against his cheek.
Satoshi raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, it is. What, are you going to use it as a blanket? I think you should get a clean one."
Daisuke laughed. "Was that your attempt at humor?"
"Maybe, but I don't think of myself as very funny."
"You just need more experience, that's all!" Daisuke chimed.
"I'll pass that up."
"If you say so!"
"Daisuke?"
"Yeah?"
"You can sleep in my bed if you'd like, I wouldn't mind."
"No, I would be intruding!"
"Don't be ridiculous, there's more than enough room for four people to sleep on it."
"I guess you're right..." Daisuke considered the actually size of Satoshi's bed.
"I know I am."
"So, when did you have four people in your bed?"
Satoshi's face became red. "Never."
"Okay." Daisuke said, suspicion evident in his voice. "I'll just have to have a bit of faith!"
Satoshi sighed and shifted to the far side of his bed. He still had the banana peel in his hands. "Daisuke, do you mind throwing this away for me?"
"Sure, no problem!" Satoshi tossed the peel to Daisuke and made himself as comfortable as he could, which was lying on his back.
Daisuke returned from the trashcan and took off his belt and socks. For a moment, Satoshi thought that he was going to take off more and a blush swept across his cheeks and he had to look away. Daisuke flipped off the lights and hopped into bed.
"Satoshi, you need to get X-Rayed. Should we go to the doctor tomorrow?" Daisuke asked, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"..."
"Satoshi?"
"Personally, I'd rather not."
"You don't want to heal as fast as you can?"
"Daisuke, I'm used to it." Satoshi said in a low voice as he became irritated.
"...Okay, sorry... Good night, Satoshi." Daisuke whispered.
"Night."
( DAISUKE - POV )
I laid still in the silence. His mattress, sheets, comforter, and pillows were very soft and comfortable. I couldn't see why he would want to get up and go to school almost every morning. I should be nervous, sharing a bed with Satoshi. Despite my feelings, Satoshi contains a creature that would readily eat me alive. But, in this moment, I was calm and worry free. I shifted and pulled the comforter around me tighter.
Satoshi's breathing was deep and stressed. I could tell that he was still awake and I felt for him. It was a shame that he had been forced to deal with that evil being in his mind since he was a little kid. I didn't know of Dark until I turned 14.
Was that it? Are my feelings of concern, understanding, and pity being confused with that of love? Satoshi, Satoshi... But maybe, in my mind, he's all I have left after being rejected... I can't stand not knowing how I feel towards him!
I sighed glanced over to Satoshi, whose face was turned away from me. His body then shook and a small coughing fit overtook him. I gently untangled myself from the covers and crawled over to him.
"Sorry that I'm keeping you awake," Satoshi rasped. He seemed embarrassed.
"No, it's not that - I was just thinking." I couldn't help but to stare at him as his head slowly turned my way. A street light's glow was reflecting off of his hair through cracks in the window.
"About... what?" Satoshi coughed again. I didn't resist the urge to trace the small bandage on his earlobe that I had put on several hours ago. The ears are so sensitive. It amazed me how he didn't complain of it, rather, he just seemed to heartlessly shrug it off.
"...You." I replied softly. I half expected him to tell me to leave or hit me, but he didn't. Instead, his vision shifted to the ceiling.
"What is there to think about?" He whispered.
"You intrigue me, but I don't know why." I replied. I was too caught up in what to say to realize that my fingers were smoothing strands of hair behind his ear. Satoshi closed his eyes, but I didn't notice. In fact, I was staring off in space, oblivious to anything.
"Daisuke..."
"..." I didn't comprehend that he said my name.
"Daisuke, what are you getting at?" He said a bit louder and I heard him. I peered down at Satoshi's angelic face, which was looking right back at me.
"Hmm?" I didn't know what he was expecting me to say.
"You know, I... wish we were..." Satoshi trailed off and I guess that was my cue to fill in the blank.
"More than friends?" I blushed. I hadn't meant to say that, not out loud at least! Idiot! I was prepared to make a sudden run for it.
Satoshi closed his eyes and gulped, I didn't expect that kind of reaction from him.
"Is... Is that what you were going to say?" I hesitantly asked and removed my forgotten hand from his head in a jolt.
I saw Satoshi's head make a nodding motion that looked more like a twitch, for it was a small and quick movement.
I believe that we both were at a loss of words and embarrassed as all get out. I was just glad that it was Satoshi who finally broke the silence.
"You had said that you wouldn't leave me..." I looked at him firmly. I remember saying that, and I meant it down to my core. "...But now that you know my... "opinion", it's fine if you want to break that statement. I would not mind. I would actually appreciate it."
"Satoshi, I told you I wouldn't leave! Why do you continue to push me away?" I asked.
"...What are you getting at?" Satoshi asked in curiosity.
I bit my lip then shakily confessed, "I... I might be falling for you." I felt my palms get sweaty from nervousness and panic shook my heart. What now? Why did I even get myself into this situation? What if I actually don't have feelings for him? 'Calm down, Daisuke!'
Satoshi sighed and sat up. He looked down at his hands before rubbing his eyes wearily, "Same here..." He finally responded. I stole a glance at him and saw his face turn a dark pink, but I didn't realize that my own was color-coordinated with my fiery hair. I was blushing like mad, but was impervious to it.
"Satoshi... I'm just, not a hundred percent sure about my feelings. I can't figure out how I really feel about you... or Riku... It's been bothering me a lot lately. What should I do?" I asked. 'Maybe he could help me! Yeah, that's it!'
"..."
"So?" I questioned. 'Why is he being so quiet?'
"Daisuke, you're strait, and strait guys like girls... like Riku. Don't get your feelings mixed up with me as an option of moving on."
"That's not what I mean..."
"I care for you a lot Daisuke, and I'm not going to take advantage at your emotional insecurities. I wish you good luck with finding another girl. I'm quite tired, can we go to sleep now?" Satoshi made to lie back down, but I caught him and folded my arms around his shoulders. His heavy breathing ticked the back of my neck and I felt him try to pull away, but I didn't let him, I held him tightly.
Something inside of me clicked. I liked hugging Satoshi and feeling his delicate body in my arms; against my own body - I couldn't think of anything else surpassing its worth. My eyes started to water from a surfaced emotion and I buried my head further into his shoulder. My right hand slid into his hair and held the back of his head.
"I don't want another girl... I don't want Riku again." I spoke, muffled.
"Dai...suke..." I heard Satoshi whisper in an undertone.
"I said I don't want another girl! All I want is you!" Did I actually mean that? My mind raced with thoughts. I did mean that... I meant it! I actually fell hard for a living icicle. Why did the feeling hit me so suddenly? "Just you..."
I was about to pull away when his arms lightly wrapped around my waist. I avoided putting pressure on his ribcage. "Don't go." He whispered softly.
"I won't."
We laid down on his bed. His right arm was around my shoulders to draw me in as my arm was once again lying on his collarbone. This felt right... "Sleep tight, Daisuke."
It was wrong.
I gripped his shoulder lightly and he placed his free hand on top of it. I fell asleep soon after and slept more deeply than I could remember.
I knew it was wrong.
This night we reached a point beyond friendship that I knew would not be accepted.
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A/N: Hey guys! I have obviously decided to continue this story, but with a little twist. Thanks for all of the awesome reviews, I really appreciate them! Also, is anyone up for becoming my beta reader? It would help me out a lot, for I don't have much time to spend writing. If you're interested, just PM or IM me. All comments, suggestions, and constructive criticism are welcome! Thanks again for reading and your support!
-Frozen