Saph's PoV

Stretched naked across the sheets, I knew instantly that it wasn't my bed. Not even the Special Operations Squad got satin sheets, fluffy pillows, and a mattress that reminded me of clouds. . Cradling my forehead in the palm of my hand, I slowly sat up using my heavy limbs. The pounding indicated a hangover on the horizon. Stomach craving anything to reside in it, I considered what I would be able to eat without puking. So occupied with my condition, I didn't realize someone else resided in the room until I heard the crunching of food being eaten.

"I thought you were going to sleep the entire day away. It's almost lunch time."

Twisting around, I found the source of the melodious voice sitting at a dainty table. In the light of day, I could see clearly that my bed mate last night had been different from all the rest. Instead of the haggard and hardiness of all previous ones, she had pale, soft skin. Her belly protruded, not in an ugly way, just indicated that she got to eat a healthy amount of food that made her a bit heavier than the rest of us. Guess I fucked a royal.

"I thought the military was strict about waking up at the crack of dawn."

"Not on our days off," I yawned, gathering my clothes strewn on the floor. After putting on my shirt and pants from last night, I went over to check out what the girl was munching on.

"Do you want some? You certainly don't look like you eat enough." She held up a plate with what I could only guess was meat on pastries.

Not one to refuse free food, espeacially fancy ass food I'd probably never get the chance to try again, I sat down on the chair across from her. "Might as well since it's not everyday that a lowly soldier like myself gets to eat with someone of royalty."

"From what you told me last night of the men and women you've bedded, I'm surprised you haven't slept with a royal until now. I have to say the same though. Never been with someone from the Survey Corps, much less originally raised in the Underground."

"Alcohol certainly makes me more talkative than usual." I winced hearing that she knew that bit of my history. I wanted to leave immediately, but I also didn't want to start on my journey from Wall Sina back to Wall Rose. "These are pretty good," I said, crumbs spluttering everywhere with my words. "Why is someone of your status trying to find hookups? Isn't arranged marriage more of your guy's kind of thing?"

"I do have one. With a man. No matter what I tell my father, he refuses to let me wed a woman and adopt a child. He says that he won't let me taint the bloodline that way, but that I could have as many female lovers as I want as long I have discretion about it. That does remind me, I have a proposition for you."

I tried to seem wary of what she was going to say next, but the delicious food made me want to do whatever she said as long as I got to eat more of it. "What?"

"I really enjoyed last night. You have a ton of energy and a flexibility that most people in this world don't. I'd like to make this more of a common occurrence," she said, handing me a cloth napkin.

"I don't know."

"It's a guy isn't it?" Her short red hair bounced as she leaned closer to me, green eyes sparkling with interest. "You fuck like you want to forget somebody."

Smacking my lips, I cooly considered her. "You certainly have a foul mouth."

"Don't ignore my question."

"Does it matter? As long as I'm good in bed then you'll keep me around. That's your proposition, not hearing why I sleep around."

The woman twirled a strand of hair around her finger, her smile dropping as a sigh escaped into the fancy room. "I just don't want you crying when we're done. I've had that happen before and it's never fun."

I grimaced at the idea of letting my tears fall in front of this peculiar woman. "I can assure you, I won't." Leaning back into the cushion chair, I scanned the room. Tossing the idea of coming here more often about in my head, I took in my surroundings. Only when I saw a drawing of Rod Reiss with a man standing behind a small child that greatly resembled the woman in front of me, did an idea bloom. My chance to get closer to the royals rested with her and so did my opportunity to exact my revenge.

"Even though you're from the Underground, I believe your military discipline will keep you at least somewhat honorable while we maintain our relationship?" She said, her soothing voice taking on a sharper note.

Confused, I craned my neck to find her staring at me with a pointed expression. "I'm not going to steal anything if that's what you're referring too. None of this gold and white stuff would go well with my bland bedroom."

"I shouldn't be surprised that you want to take in my luxurious and grandiose bedroom." She gestured towards the large billowing curtains that slightly covered a door that led to a balcony. "My view of the world has to be a bit rosier than yours."

"At least you acknowledge that."

"I've been a big reader, ever since I was young, I've always favored stories about people living in your conditions."

I raised an eyebrow, skeptical in this statement. The red jewels resting at her throat, the clean fingernails, the large bed that could fit three people easily, none of that portrayed a woman who understood my position in life. "That, however, is completely different than living in them."

"So? Take this chance to explore my world. I bet it's the only one you'll ever have."

Giving a smile that was all teeth, I thought about how I was going to stain her world with blood until it resembled mine. "Fine. I'll accept your offer. The name is Saph."

"Bells."

"For once in your life, could you come home not smelling like either sex or death?"Auruo sarcastically asked me when I slipped into the headquarters.

The whole team sat at the dining table eating a nice meal together. Feelings of excitement had stayed with me since I left Bell's. All the unique ways of offing Rod kept rolling pleasantly around in my head. Oh what a horrible way I'd make him die! Not even Auruo could pull me out of my happiness. Grabbing the piece of bread from his plate, I began to munch on it. "You're right. I really should start multitasking. I'll start coming home smelling like death and sex."

Gunter and Petra appeared horrified, Auruo disgusted, and Eld and Levi couldn't have appeared more bored. My days of appearing like the innocent child were over. I could just thank my luck that people blamed it on being kidnapped instead of my personality. What could I say? Being tortured changes a person.

"We were just discussing when our next expedition might be, Saph, if you'd like to join us," Petra said, changing the subject. She pulled out the empty chair next to her for me to sit in.

While reluctant to spend more time with my squad than I had too, it'd be nice to know if I'd have to alter my plans because of the Survey Corp's need to explore and die outside of the walls. "So do you have an idea?" I asked Levi, still standing in my spot.

"We need some more money for supplies so not for at least two weeks."

Two weeks. I doubted that I'd be able to find and kill Rod in that time. My anger must have shown on my face because Auruo began to snark, "What? Are you disappointed that I'm not going to be able to take your place sooner?"

Mouth opening without thinking, I let harshly retorted,"Save it. We both know that you don't deserve that spot. The only reason you want it is to impress P-"

I got interrupted by a bowl of soup in the face. The liquid shot up my nose from the force of the throw and I could feel the rim of the dish hit my mouth. Silence followed as I wiped chunks of vegetable off my face and out of my hair. So enraged, I didn't even toy with the idea of getting my knife out of my boot and stabbing him. Instead, I lunged across the table before the bowl had even finished clattering against the floor.

With no weapon in hand, I slashed with my nails and dug in with my teeth to do the maximum amount of damage. I didn't feel anything, as if attempting to kill my comrade was me just going through the motions.

"Get her off of me!" Auruo screamed, a fear laced in his voice that reminded me of the time I told him that I practised cannibalism when I lived Underground. "Stop her!"

My head snapped back as my hair got pulled. Not letting me get a chance to recover, Levi dragged me outside, using my locks to keep me under control. Chucking me away from the house, Levi stood poised and on guard. Still not attached to any sense of sanity or reality, I came up rolling from the ground ready to fight. Instead of budging or preparing himself, Levi seemed ready to take any blow that I decided to rain upon him. Making me stop completely when I realized he wouldn't put up a fight. Energy taken out of me completely, I realized the consequences of my actions. This wouldn't be good.

Slowing down from a sprint to a walk to eventually collapsing on my knees at his feet, I spit out a wad of blood and flesh. "I didn't want this."

"You're becoming worse than a Titan."

A whimper let loose when the words rang in my ears. "Don't say that, Levi. Punish me, but don't say that." Exhaustion began to take its toll on my weary limbs. I still hadn't recovered from my night out yesterday.

"Do you want me to punish you?" Levi inquired, using his boot to tilt my bruised chin up to face him.

"I don't care."

"If you don't care then I'm stripping you of the title of my second in command," his voice sounded so cold and far away.

Blinking, I gave a lazy smirk. "You can't do that. Only Erwin has the ability to do that. If you could, you would have done that a long time ago."

"After what's been happening, I doubt I'll need to convince him too much."

"Are you going to put Auruo in second in command then?" I snarled, grimacing at the idea of what the boy would say if that happened. I would shoot him just to not have to endure his bragging, or maybe I could say that Lucifer came with that gig. Could have that devil of a horse kill him for me.

"No."

Confused, I took in Levi's glower before reaching my conclusion. "Is it because you're worried that might make it easier for him to steal Petra from you? Might become a bit mightier as a rival? Or is it that you want to put your precious girlfriend in that position? Have her by your little side on and off the job?"

His grey eyes sharpened making me flinch reflexively. "What do you want? What will make you stop acting this way?" he almost sounded pained underneath the frustrated tone. I guessed that it was a trick because of the ringing in my ears.

"I can't have it," I whispered, breaking contact and getting up. "Besides that, I don't know."

"Suzu's dead so you might as well find something else."

"I did, but you wouldn't want me to have it anyways," I said through gritted teeth while pushing past him. "Trust me on that."

With Gunther and Eld helping to take Auruo to the infirmary, I didn't expect anybody to be waiting for me in my room when I arrived. Turned out I was wrong.

"Don't give me that look. Sit here and let me help you," Petra scolded.

Too tired to argue, I obediently sat down on the edge of the bed. Letting her undress me and start to clean my wounds.

"Levi will give you back your position once you began to care for the Survey Corp's goals once again."

I scoffed, "I never was invested in them from the beginning."

She paused, the wipe hovering over a cut on my shoulder blade. "Then why are you here, Saph. You could easily go live off on your own. Why risk your life for something you don't believe in?"

I didn't have an answer for that question. Familiarity? Levi? "I'll leave once I've fulfilled my duty of seeking justice for my brother." Bowing my head, I closed my eyes. "You'll have to put up with me until then."

Resuming her cleaning, Petra didn't speak while she washed away the dirt and blood dusting my skin. Her touch conveyed a sense of unease, as if handling an animal that you didn't know if it would snap at your hand at any moment. Her own nervousness instilled a twisted confidence in me. That I had control over her because of her fear. I didn't have much but I had that.

The sound of the door opening made me twist around to find out who entered my room. Hanji walked over to us, a subdued smile gracing her features. "I can take over for you, Petra."

"Thanks. I need to go help clean up the mess in the kitchen." The girl scurried out of the room while Hanji never took her gaze off of me. Odd to see the usually hyper active woman with a much more taunt air about her.

Taking over Petra's spot, Hanji began to methodically patch me up. "It's a wonder that this body even works anymore after all it's been through."

"I'm certainly going to feel this in my later years, if I ever get to see them that is."

"You might not with the way you're acting. It could have been a lot worse than being stripped of your second in command status."

"I'm surprised Erwin hasn't kicked me out of the Corps entirely for all the messes that I've made. But being commander of the most reckless, weirdest, and insane group of military members leaves one with a lot of patience and a high tolerance for a person's eccentricities."

Picking up my shirt lying on the top of the bed, Hanji handed the clothing to me, signalling her medic time was done. "I wouldn't view your grief as being eccentric. It's understandable that the combination of rage and loss has pushed you to the brink."

"Doesn't mean I don't have a time limit for these feelings. Everyone is understanding until you continue to grieve months after their death." Tuckered out and aching, I let my body fall backwards until my head hit my pillow.

"Loss, and with it pain, never completely goes away no matter how many years pass."

Her serious tone made sense now. "Are you thinking about Ruby? I'm sorry for taking your chance to kill Leon away from you. When I learned that the malfunctioning equipment was supposed to lead to my death, I wanted to bring him to you alive so you could have avenged her."

"She wouldn't have wanted to me too take part in that."

"You think? I guess we will never know now, though."

Opening one eye, I watched as a frown of displeasure form on Hanji's lips. A glint of pain meshed with hate glinted in her usually bright brown orbs. I always believed that everyone who could call themselves a veteran were capable of things that would horrify those safe behind the walls.

"Goodnight, Saph."

"Night, Hanji."

It's been awhile! I've altered my writing schedule so now this is the only story I'm working on now. I should be updating way more often now. Thank you guys for your patience and understanding! Love you guys. Hope you guys are loving the story. Please leave a review before you leave!