Chapter 19: Coming home.

Since I didn't take a lot of the sleeping poison, I woke up pretty much naturally the next morning. A nurse was entering my room to check on me.

"How are you feeling today?" Said the nurse walking to my bed.

"I have the mother of all headaches…" And it was true. I guess self-medicating is too early for me. Hope I didn't put the syringe in the wrong place. Pretty sure I remembered where the nurses placed it. Don't try this at home, kids. It sucks.
"This might be a result of your medication."
Yeah, no shit.
"But you should be okay soon, we'll be giving you a tonic that should allow you to walk again. Your muscles have been rebuilding steadily, thanks to the physiology you share with Moon-moon here, and you'll soon have your whole strength back in time for school to begin."

Yeah, no.

"I feel suddenly so weak madam! And there's a monster behind you! Aaaaah…. I'm having night terrors agaiiiin please sedate me for the duration of the week!" I half-heartedly joked to her. Well, I think I was joking. Maybe.

"You know, young boy, we are trained in reading the Chakra of our patients and yours is quite fine. Still, I understand where you are coming from." The nurse smirked while doing my physical examination.

"Oh, almost forgot. The nurse found a letter for you this morning. She didn't see the one that put in in the deposit box, but we think it's a get-well-soon card from a friend of yours in the clan because… Well…"

She handed me a squared letter, with the words 'To the annoying P.O.S' written on it.

My mood suddenly dropped. The motherfucker. How did I not think of that…?
I don't have to listen to him for him to win. He just had to pass me the knowledge.

The nurse amused expression changed for a second then went back to normal.

"I'll leave you to it. Your mother will come in the afternoon to check you out. We all hope you'll make a swift recovery."

She turned and headed for the door, but I heard her whisper 'kids grow so fast these days' before exiting the room.

… What?

You know what? I don't care. This is more important.

I watched intensely the letter for a few seconds. Moon-moon was slowly stretching in his doggy bed.

"Aren't you going to read it? I can read it to you if you wish."
"Really not sure… On one hanWAIT! YOU CAN READ?!"

My ninken threw me a flat look and just said: "I had a lot of free time recently."

Ok, so my idiot of a Friend apparently taught himself how to read. I tried to rationalize it by thinking of the fact that we share our thought all the time, it backfired when I remembered he was never interested when I learned it and I shared nothing with him when I was in a coma.

So that means that my ninken was a potential geni…You know what? Let's roll with it. This way lies depression.

"Again, I'm… Not sure if I should. I mean if I don't read this that means that gramps must go on living. He clearly said that passing this knowledge was the only thing stopping him for… Moving forward…"
"But on the other, this knowledge might help us getting stronger."
"Yeah, I know. Also, this…" I held the letter above my head, trying to see through it. "Is a part of my story. Our clan's story. I can't be selfish like that anymore…"

I opened the letter and looked at the title.

The writing was… Atrocious.

"To my smarty-pants of a grandson that thought he could outsmart me. You are 40 years too young for that, brat"

"WELL, FUCK YOU!"

By reflex, I angrily threw away the letter. Moon-moon immediately jumped and caught it in the air, not a meter after it left my hand.

My Friend gave me back the letter with the most deadpan gaze I ever saw, and I could only take back the letter with resignation. I noticed that, while my Friend face was expressionless, his tail was winging like it was trying to break the sound barrier.

Oh, I made him 'go get thing' for the first time in four years. Well… Can't be mad against that… Buuuuuut there's dog saliva on the letter. Lovely.

"But, as a shinobi, I must admit that improvised plan was good. It bought you time and sometimes that's really all you need. Just not this time."

Are you going to be a wise ass all the time, old coot?

"I knew you'll open this letter. As much as you want me alive you know the risks of knowledge not being shared. I saw you do exactly that a lot of times. Not subtly, I might say. You have a lot to learn."

Must… Not… Tear… The letter…

"I will now tell you three things. The story about why I came back to watch over you, a word of advice, and finally My Rules.

First. After I left the scene of the battle, I chose not to return to Konoha. I took a lot of time to think about all that I've lost. How, I realized at that time, that Konoha was responsible for the death of all that I've sworn to Protect.

Amane was killed when she was sent back to the field.
Manami was a trained killer that I was ordered to kill back.
I was almost killed so many times. Always on order of the village and obeying by a sense of duty that I was starting to reconsider.

When will the village will send Tsume and little Hana to die?

And for what? For a war that no one truly wanted. A war that was maintained because everyone thought everyone else wanted it.
To kill someone that you would come to appreciate, maybe love, if you just took the time to talk to them."

Hey, that was Naruto nindo right there! You're almost here gramps!

"At that time, I understood that I, too, wanted no part of it. This world was doomed, and a single man cannot change the way shinobi are. So, I left."

GOD DAMMIT OLD MAN YOU WERE SO FUCKING CLOSE!

"I left this world of blood behind and decided to live alone. Even if I didn't consider myself a part of Konoha I still wanted to pass on my knowledge to the clan. They deserved to be Protected.
So, I waited and waited for the right time. During this time lived as a hermit and meditated, focusing on the world around me. I saw the beauty in it, how this world was wasted on shinobi.

I wasn't focusing on anything, but my technique adapted. I could still accelerate my perception of time by focusing on everything. So, I stayed… I don't know how long, watching the world go by. Enjoying every moment of it and cursing every second I felt passing. This is my first teaching. To use Focus, you don't need to concentrate on one thing. You can't use it naturally and you'll become stronger for it.
How? No clue, I just did it naturally. Figure it out yourself, smart-ass."

Reaaaaaaaly nice teaching skills, asshole.

Oh yeah, 'haven't talked to a human in… Maybe ten years' I remember him saying that. I thought that the timeline didn't fit. Well, time fly by when you're having fun and he most definitively wasn't.

"And then, I felt a strange call, coming from the village. I didn't know what that was. Something primal, a cry of defiance. Words were distorted in my head, so I release the firm grip I had on my perception of time and heard the words 'Are you fucking kidding me!' resonating in my head due to how loud it was. Then it stopped."

…Oops…

"The next day, I felt that something was coming in my direction. A ninken. Probably one from the tracking division attracted by my scent. No matter, no one would disturb me. I decided to kill it if he saw me.

But when I finally understood who was coming, I stopped using my technique and watched Kuromaru approaching me. Warry, scared, but driven by duty.

Well, I couldn't really kill my daughter's best friend…

I tried to talk to him but realized that using my voice had become… Painful to use.
I spent so much time in my head that I physically forgot how to. But I also discovered that I could feel his thoughts and greeted him like I would have with my Friend. This is my second teaching: Inuzuka can mentally speak with all ninken. With the right talent. Again, no clue. Good luck with that."

… How did Manami thought that you were an excellent teacher? Love truly makes people blind.
Good thing mom figured that one and showed it to me. I might have been a little pent up if not.

"When I told him he was safe, he announced me that a new Alpha was born in the pack. The second son of Inuzuka Tsume had bonded with a small wolf pup. He then felt the need to come here and transmit the news to me.
He wanted to know why I've been gone for so long. Why I didn't come back to the village. To his Friend.

I confessed that I saw no point in this world anymore. That I just wanted to be left alone, to live and finally die according to my principles. He understood that he couldn't convince me but still insisted that I come back to the village and watch over you.
I've already decided that. The very moment he taught me that you were born, but I lied to him. I said that I will come back but only if he promises to not tell anyone that I'm still alive. Not to his Friend and especially not you. He reluctantly agreed.

You must understand that Kuromaru sense of duty is only matched by my daughter's. That's why he imprinted with him. So don't question him about it.

Also, I'll take the time to ask you to do the same thing to your mother. I've noticed you are good at lying. My little princess thinks that I am a flawed but heroic father that died for the village. Revealing the truth would destroy her. A harmless and kind lie is sometime preferable to a hard truth."

Well. FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS! That's bullshit! I'll tell her the truth! Well… Just not now.

"He agreed again, and I came back to the village undetected. This brings me to the second part.

My advice. In so many words: STOP! ATTRACTING! ATTENTION! YOU! IDIOT!"

Aouch… Written words can hurt. Well, I kinda deserved that one since I agree with it.

"Just to put things in perspective, you almost died four times already.
The first one was when you awaken you Chakra sense. In the Halcyon days of your life. You probably don't remember it, ask your mom, but you were a few minutes away from dying. Can't really blame you for that one, but it started a trend."

Yeah, I was aware of every second of it, wasn't pleasant for me either.

"Then, in the hospital, you somehow gained control over your Chakra and used it. Which is stupid by itself and almost killed yourself again. You survived because I immediately went to the control room and triggered every detection system they had. The head doctor would not have been taken out of his sleep if not.
The third time, well, the fourth, was when you fell into coma, after doing the third one I will write later. While I was watching over you, I noticed a lone Anbu sneak into the hospital. Slowly, almost machinal, but also completely stealthily, walk toward your room. An Anbu that smelled like an old Inuzuka. So, I took you out and hide you in another room. He just… Stayed there, looking at your empty bed for a while, not even moving, and left. That was kinda creepy, to be honest."

Oh, another ROOT kidnapping attempt. Fuck my life. Oh, and thanks.

"And the last one was when you jumped against A BIJUU! What were you thinking! I watched you get intercepted by the Hatake brat. Couldn't hear what you said due to the noise but saw his eyes changing. Then you were picked up by a Chuunin. A ninja that took a straight path, not the hospital, or our clan, but to where the council members where living."

THAT WAS ANOTHER FUCKING KIDNAPPING ATTEMPT?! HOLY FUCK?!

"And somehow, like the shinobi wasn't even aware that a monster was ravaging the village, ran straight before the Kyuubi that was destroying everything. It noticed you and attacked. The Chuunin didn't even tried to avoid the destruction and was crushed under a falling wall.
At that moment, I thought about leaving you here to die. I was strong, but no match for this. If you died here, then I'll just… Go back to my former life.

But I saw you smile. I saw you looking at the eyes of the monster that was towering above you and just… Smile."

Oh, yeah, I was really thinking that I will die here and thought of a little joke. Copying mechanism, really.

"So, I made out my mind. with my fastest speed, I grabbed you and ran away. I escaped the blast unharmed, you didn't. The shock completely trashed your brain, and you didn't wake up for four years.

So, I wanted to ask you, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! Then I saw the reports. What you apparently said to the white-haired brat, he used it to redirect the anger of the nine-tailed beast to a place with fewer civilians. Countless lives were saved, and the Keeper came. I sensed a lot of blood on him, but that was to be expected. He saved the day, my clan was saved. And I suspected it might have been because of you. Because, as I said in the beginning, sometimes time is all that you need.

The monster was defeated, at the cost of the Keeper's life. But the pack survived. So, I continued my watch and, apart for the 'weird Anbu thing', nothing happened.
Then you woke up. When the time was right, I decided to meet you. And here we are. Alive. For the last part."

I took my eyes from the letter. It was almost finished; the last part will be quick and painful.

"My rules.

I've been watching over you since you were born. I've been watching you learning everything that could be learned thanks to Moon-moon. You'll have to explain that name to me when we'll be meeting again in the Pure Plains."

Nope.

"But from what I've learned, with years and years of loss and living in this… Impure Plain… These are the rules I follow:

Don't Fuck With The Keeper: The Hokage. But why should we protect him? He directly ordered the death of so many innocent people, people that could have become friends, he wasn't worthy of our trust. To me, the Keeper is our Friend. The one that will accompany us in times of darkness, so that we never forget who we are.

Respect the Sire: this one I left it unchanged. Mostly. My Sire was the adoptive father I was given to. An unfortunate Alpha might not have that chance. I discovered in my life that… Some people don't deserve their children.

Protect the Protector: For the pack, after I told them, it was everyone that lived with them.
But now, it was everyone. In my life I understood that my friends, my loved ones… Member of our pack or not, I wouldn't be there without them. They were worthy of my Protection. And some of them were NOT part of Konoha.
Do what you can for your loved one, whoever they are. They are a part of you, and they can be removed at any time by the Keeper.

And then, The Alpha Protects. That's the part where I know you will disagree."

Fuck, the last part was already doubtful but I'm NOT going to like this…

"When I was a kid, I wanted to Protect everyone. When I became an adult, I protected everyone I could. And then they died. On orders from the Keeper. On an order that their Protector, me, accepted out of duty.

I justified it in my head, that no one except our enemies had done anything wrong. This was war.

I fell in love with Amane. No one could have predicted the attack.
I fell in love with Manami. A woman not worthy of my Protection by the rules of our village. Because their rules were 'outsiders were bad'.
And then she died, on Konoha's orders.
I was ordered to kill her.

So. Inuzuka Shinji. My grandson and successor. I give you this final teaching.

Don't try to Protect anyone. It's useless. The world itself will choose who live, who die, and who will tell their stories.
You can fight against it how you like. You will lose.
The lives of the many are decided by the needs of the few. It was something I noticed in the Water country, but something I realized was also true here.

Be the one you want to be, find the people you want to Protect, they will still die when the village decides so.
It's childish to wish that you can Protect anyone.

But here is one thing. Only one thing, that you can protect. Their memories.

And so, my grandson, this is the reason I agreed with Kuromaru and came back to you. This is the only reason I spent all this time waiting.

To find someone and tell Amane and Manami's stories. So that there is someone, out in this world, that remember them.
To remember… That they once lived."

The letter stopped here.

I was, if I could be honest, exhausted. And angered.
This was the testament of my grandfather.
It was… A lot… It was a lot…

A LOT OF HORSESHIT!

PEOPLE DIE? YEAH, NO SHIT! YOU KNOW THE THING ABOUT LIFE? NO ONE MAKES IT OUT ALIVE! THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT! THAT IS NOT DEAD WHICH CAN ETENERNAL LIE! AND WITH STRANGE AEONS EVEN DEATH MAY DIE! PEOPLE DIE WHEN THEY ARE KILLED!

I looked at the piece of paper in my hands.

Oooooh, so you lost people. And decided that was the breaking point?
You lived, you loved, and that's what you took from it?

"Hmmm Shinji? Are you alright?" Moon-moon started to watch me, worry in his eyes.
"Oh, worry not, my Friend. I think I have found my nindo. Trust me, you'll like it…"

You finally found your place but lost it? And when you failed you threw your fucking family to the backburner?

"You see, my Friend. I like to think of myself as a calm person." Moon-moon was not calming up.

I held the fucking letter in my hands and held it above my head.

"But this world of ours is always reminding me that it is populated with morons."

SO, YOU LOST PEOPLE AND, MAGICALY, YOUR WORDS ARE LAW?
WHAT ABOUT THE JOY! THE SMILE THAT YOU BROUGHT?
I noticed that something was… Burning in me. What, I had no clue.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTERS? YOU NEVER EVEN SPOKE ABOUT THEM!
The burning sensation started to…Swirl inside me.
YOU TOOK YOUR CONLUSION FOR GRANTED! YOU NEVER EVEN TRIED TO SPEAK TO ANYONE!

"Friend…? I'm getting worried…"

I was looking at the piece of paper in my hand. At the sheet of shit I was holding.
I wished I could incinerate it my mind.
WHEN YOU HAD ALL THE PROOF IN THE WORLD THAT THE WORLD IS'NT SHIT?
YEAH, YOU CAN'T SAVE EVERYONE BUT HERE ARE PEOPLE THAT NEEDS YOU?

The paper started to… I don't know, react to my feeling and started getting hotter.

"You see, Moon-moon, there exist people in this world. Morons, that always, ALWAYS, think they have it have figured out and shouldn't try to understand reality…"

The scroll burned even hotter.

"I say FUCK THEM!"

The letter in my hands... conbusted. And I held it above my head.

"FUCK THIS! FUCK THEM! I'LL PROTECT EVERYONE! AND IF I FAILED THEN I WILL KNEW I'VE DONE MY BEST!"

I calmed down, for a second, with the letter burning in my hands, and continued to speak to my Friend.

"I have found my nindo, friend. We will get all the things, and we will PROTECT all the things. If we failed, if there is something you couldn't get or something I couldn't protect then that's life."

Moon-moon closed his eyes and bowed to me.

I watched as the letter my grandfather left me turns to ashes.

Are you already dead? Old fart.
Are you already watching me?
This is my answer.
No. Not an answer.
This is a promise.

The fire in my hands burned even hotter.

You can't protect everyone?
So, you shouldn't try to protect anyone?
The flame in my hands become higher and higher.

This is my answer.
Can you see it, gramps?
This is my answer to your 'teachings'.
This is who I am.

"Old piece of shit, be it in heavens or whatever, can you hear me now?" I said in a low voice.
"This is my answer to you. No… Not an answer… This is…"

I focused and on my hands. The flames went even higher.

I held the letter as an offering to the heaven. This was a sacrifice to my new will.

"THIS IS A FUCKING GRAND DECLARATION OF WAR!"

And then the fire alarm of the hospital was triggered.
A security guard immediately entered the room and, after a quick analysis of the situation, completely drenched me with a water jutsu.

I stayed in my previous posture. With the remnant of the letter in my my hands
I slowly looked him in his eyes with my most deadly expression to show how much I appreciated his intervention.
The fire alarm was cut short and we were left in this situation.

The random guard coughed in his hand.

'Young boy, using a fire Jutsu is a safety hazard…."
"Yeah! That was stupid! Now I will stench!"
My Friend then shook himself to get rid of the water on his fur. And drenched me more.

I don't know what triggered it. My Friend's action, the random guard voice.., whatever.

I just knew that something in my mind broke.

"Okay, that's it. Everyone fucking DIES! COWABUNGA IT IS!"

Author's notes: And that the last of the "doom and gloom" arc. Congrats reader, you survived!
Now It's time for your regularly scheduled snark.