Saph's PoV

Blank blue eyes stared at us as Erwin regarded our haggard states. We'd only been gone for a short while, but so much happened within that time it'd felt like I'd aged years. Events had taken a turn with our absence. I'd never imagined so many horrible things could happen in little more than a week. I struggled to comprehend all the new information being thrown at us, and I could barely stop staring at the spot where Erwin's arm used to be, reeling at the idea of him almost being eaten by a Titan. He seemed unaffected by the loss of his limb, both in his cold tone and gaze.

"Titans appeared but they didn't break in through Wall Rose. Reiner and Bertholdt were Titan shifters partnered with Annie. They attempted to take both Eren and Ymir outside of the walls to an unknown location. That is because Ymir turned out to be a Titan shifter as well, but who wasn't working with them at first. The three of them decided to take Krista as well, whose real name is actually Historia. Pastor Nick said that she could unlock all the secrets surrounding the Titans and Walls. Thankfully, we retrieved the two of them, but Ymir, Reiner, and Berthold escaped." Erwin sighed, "It cost us many soldiers' lives. However, during this process, Eren discovered he might have the capability of controlling Titans." Glancing between the two of us, Erwin continued, "We also came upon the same Titan covered in hair you'd just described earlier. He threw boulders at us."

So he most likely would've attacked us if I'd stayed much longer. I bit my lip as I contemplated all these details of more enemies. Titans on one side beating us down and the shifters on the other. More and more, humans were becoming the enemy.

"Maybe the village is where Annie, Berthold, and Reiner came from? Since another shifter lived there. If I'm right. He's the manipulator they're after and that's why they attempted to take him beyond the walls.

"Why would they think you'd obtained the power of the manipulator then?"

Swallowing hard, I struggled to maintain some composure. "I'm a Titan shifter as well. I can only think of the change happening when Kenny took me."

"Why would they give it to you?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "but I don't think they planned on keeping me alive much longer. Since the people in the village didn't know who of us obtained the power, they must not be working with Kenny or Rod Reiss at least."

Erwin pressed a finger to his chin in contemplation. 'That last name keeps coming up."

"Reiss? They're one of the most powerful families even though it wouldn't appear to be so at first."

I heard he'd just woken up the day before from a coma, ready to receive us as we'd hobbled back to headquarters. It'd taken us quite a while to reach them. My Titan form collapsed from exhaustion, so Levi had to cut me out of my body and carry me for a few hours until I regained consciousness. Without our horses or gear it took a bit, but Levi and I got back in one piece. All this information and questions being tossed into our laps wasn't unexpected but still a lot to handle.

Erwin leaned back. "There are so many different parties at play here and we barely have a notion of who knows what." He stared off into the distance for a few collective moments, lost in his big brain.

Strategizing and planning were never my strong suits. Neither Levi nor I ever went to school so our skills when it came to reading and writing didn't measure up to the majority of the people here. I didn't know who could leave us if Erwin died. Certainly, neither Levi or I could step forward to replace him.

Hanji knocked on the door before we got the chance to leave the room. "Good to see you're awake, sir," Hange said as she strolled in with Connie by her side. "I'm here to confirm my theory of where Titans come from. Connie is from the town of Ragako and accompanied my squad there. We found the homes to be blown apart from the inside. Yet, despite the destruction, we didn't find a single bloodstain. Most importantly, we have yet to recover a citizen from the town. The total number of Titans that were discovered and defeated also happened to be the same number of individuals who lived there.

"So you're saying that the Titans are actually humans?" Erwin asked.

"We don't have solid proof that all Titans are this way but if they are, I have an idea on why their weak spot is located where it is on the back of the neck. If you measured the proportions compared to a human body, that's where the spinal column would be leading out of the brain. The Titan can't regenerate once that's severed because the organs are independent from the rest of the body, probably. I could theorize at this point. However, then it begs the question as to what changed the people of Ragako into mindless Titans. I believe the Beast Titan might be involved."

Levi spoke up, "Have you seen anything like that in any of the Titan's captured alive?"

"No. I've never seen anything that looks particularly human. However, that's where the body of the Titan Shifters reside. I can't imagine a human brain staying in contact-"

"The flesh I've committed to slicing is actually part of a human being?" Levi wondered out loud, particularly upset. "I've been flying around killing humans this whole time? Is that what you're saying?"

"I told you there's no solid proof."

"The hell are you smiling about, Erwin?" Levi asked, with a revolted expression crinkling his nose. "You're going to make me sick."

Erwin sighed as he fidgeted with the strap of his sling. "I've been told that since I was a child."

"Is that the real reason you're in the Survey Corps?"

"Ease off, Levi. My arm was eaten. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. Don't you have some pity for me?"

"You are pitiful." I'd never challenge Erwin the way Levi did, but I appreciated him holding his ground.

Letting out a chuckle, Erwin glanced between the two of us. "What's pitiful is the state the two of you are in. Go wash up and then gather where Historia and Eren are being kept. They are the most important assets right now. We need to get onto the trail of the organization that knows more about the Titans than we do. We can also take back the walls if we learn how to deploy Eren's powers. I also want to know what you're capable of Saph. You might not be the manipulator but it seems as if every Titan holds at least one surprise. Everyone needs to stay safe and be extra careful until then."

We left the building and my mind kept running in loops. My adventures in the Underground unearthed connections interwoven throughout the political web in the background of our unstable civilization. The Church held more power in the government then people realized. The upper echelon only cared about themselves and they gave no fucks about how many Military Police soldiers died in the pursuit to rescue Eren. The royals would never lift a finger to protect their citizens much less humanity's potential future. They only wanted to amass more power and riches so that's why they terrorized the Underground. The perfect place for all their illegal deals and desires to come to fruit. However, the trauma recently experienced left little brain power. Staggering slightly, I found the showers. They'd been on my mind for days and nothing could get in my way between me and getting clean right now. Must be Levi rubbing off on me.

I hurried to the nearest available one. Being used to not bathing for weeks, months, years, did little to remove how refreshing it felt to wash up. A rare resource itself underneath the surface, I'd struggle to find anything for me to even drink previously. It felt like a ridiculous luxury the first time I took a bath. To have the body immersed in the cool goodness made me thankful every single time. I'd learned to appreciate cleanliness even if I still didn't mind getting dirty.

Watching the blood, dirt, and sweat pool at my feet before swirling down the drain, I wondered if I'd always be filthy. Stained beyond repair. No guilt colored my emotions, but the weight of my deeds never leaves me. I'd committed atrocities in the name of love, but I didn't expect anyone else to understand my decisions or deeds. Or forgiveness. Someone wanting to put a bullet in my head or a knife in my back is only expected. My viciousness came from a world that took everything from me and would only continue to rip apart who I cared for unless I become fiercer than the dangers. With my new powers, I could do some real damage. It thrilled yet terrified me. I could never leave the Survey Corps now. I'd become an asset they wouldn't let go. While I'd not planned on leaving the Corps since Suzu passed, I meant what I said about not dying in my uniform.

After getting out of the shower, I grabbed some scissors before looking into the mirror. I'd noticed sitting in that cell that I needed a haircut. While my curls usually prevent my hair from falling too much in my face, but now it's too long. Snipping the longer strands off, I cut my hair until only a short curly mop of it rested on the very top of my head. Leaning forward, I examined the wad of bandages covering my cheek and lower jaw. The exact spot where the Titan's burning hand had set aflame my flesh. Skin had yet to grow back even though my Titan abilities showed themselves in my thriving physical health despite the circumstances. Examining my eyes hadn't been something I'd done in a very long time, but now I glared into the depths of their reflection, anxious to see if the deadened glaze of a Titan stared back. How could I not have known that I could now turn into a monster?

A somewhat young but mostly battered looking woman stared back at me. Though I could not tell you if I would feel different as a man. I held no attachment to this body but not knowing such a change took place made me feel eerily distant from it. That it was just a container. Used for killing and sex, now host to a thing I'd spent my life destroying. As if the Titan powers gave me the ability for my existence to continue even if I disappeared. A continuation of the bloodshed either as a mindless Titan or something more. Priests speak of a hell that's worse than the one we're currently living in, maybe being a mindless man eating Titan is the eternal damnation they speak of. If I wasn't going there before because of the many people I've killed, this new development led me to believe I couldn't be destined for anything better. That opportunity was never mine to begin with. Growing up in the Underground didn't allow for morals, justice, or righteousness.

The effects of such a life shaped my body beyond repair. While Levi's height might have been stolen from him, any potential to exist as something other than skin and bones still eluded my grasp. I'd always enjoyed the soft plushness from Bells. She felt comfortable and safe with her large breasts and cushion thighs. No amount of pampering and sweets seemed to erase the hard edges of myself. Collar bone, ribs, elbows, hips, and knees all sharp and piercing. My gaunt body seemed to hold little muscle no matter how hard I worked out. I needed to figure out what specifically about me had changed. The cause of all this. I knew Hanji would be all over me with questions after we gathered at the safehouse. At least I'd have the opportunity to speak to Eren in order to hear his personal experience. Hopefully, that'd give me some insight into what secrets I hold. I wanted to know how he felt in that mode of being. Looking forward to seeing him and gathering with everyone else, I walked out of the barracks and hopped onto Lucifer before heading to our new base of operations.

"Right now we need to get organized and plan our next move. Of course..." Levi paused as I walked into the room.

I sat down at the opposite end of the table and looked over the new members of Levi's Squad. All newest recruits from the same training group, 104. What lucky bastards to have not been killed. Since the day they graduated, it's been a bigger shitshow than usual. I'd never felt so old but they were all so young and already hardened. Hearing that multiple people who they considered to be a trusted friend or at least comrade betrayed them must be devastating. Many of them already experienced loss when Wall Maria fell. Even if their families didn't reside in an area close to the hole, members could still have been eaten in the culling. I perked up when I realized Levi mentioned the hole.

"While much has happened recently, our original goal is still the same. That is, to seal Wall Maria and enter the basement. As long as we can do that, most of the details don't matter. Whether it's the people next to us turning into Titans. A hair covered Titan tossing boulders at us, or a handful of Titans popping up inside the wall. Hey, Armin. You said if things went well, we could plug up the wall fast. Explain that again."

While Armin looked like he could barely lift up the blade much less cut into a Titan's neck, his intelligence seemed to be highly regarded. Him and Historia looked so delicate with their small frames, blonde hair, and blue eyes, they almost looked like twins. "Yes, sir. My idea is that Eren changes into a Titan and uses his abilities to cover the hole. Saph could do the same if she can replicate enough crystal material that the Female Titan could produce. If that's even possible of course, but that would allow us to not have to use wagons to haul material. We could choose a cloudy night when the Titans are less active to head to the wall. If we are traveling by horse, it wouldn't take us long. Under these ideal conditions, the mission to recapture Wall Maria would take less than 24 hours."

Everyone in the room was stunned. I glanced at Hanji but she didn't say anything. I expected her to be hopping around with ideas and inspiration.

"But now that I'm talking about it again, it sounds like a dream."

"Whether that dream can be made into a reality," Levi interjected, "depends on these two."

I gulped and Eren stared at his hands resting on the table. "I understand that," he tried to state calmly, the pressure obviously getting to him.

"I don't know what I'm capable of, but I'm willing to try almost anything."

"Hear that Hanji? They know they're in for it. And you're the one who will choose where our experiments take place."

Hanji still barely moved as she turned her attention to Levi. "Yes. It's my duty as long as I'm alive."

Her somber tone and demure demeanor confused both Levi and everyone else in the room. He caught my eye and tilted his head towards her direction as she spoke of the great manpower it took to maintain the current social order. I lifted my shoulder in surrender to indicate that I had no notion of what could be upsetting our dear colleague and old friend either. She'd been quite joyful to see us return, and even gave us both a quick hug. I didn't know what happened between then and now.

"We can't sit around and waste time," she continued, "we have to hurry and take action, but I still want Eren and Saph to lay low for the time being!"

"What?"

"Buy why-"

"I mean… the situation seems to be more complicated than we thought."

I agreed with that sentiment wholeheartedly. There were people turning into Titans among us, people turning other people into Titans, and Titans turning people into Titans. I could barely trust my own body much less everybody else around me.

"From the moment you walked in here it looked like you were on the edge. Like you were holding in a shit, and you still have that look on your face. Why are you keeping it inside? Why don't you tell us?"

"Minister Nick is dead."

My jaw dropped. The Priest who knew about the Titans living in the walls and Historia? Did the Titan shifters kill him? The same people who'd come after us.

"It was the Military police."

Oh. Now the government seemed to be getting into the Survey Corps affairs. I wondered if it could have something to do with the Titans in the walls being revealed. If the Military police started sniffing around, it wouldn't be long until Kenny followed. The Reiss family seemed to be the guardians of secrets, and they would use anything in their disposal to not have to share them. That's why it took me so long to even uncover where Suzu lived.

Hanji had been describing how the Military police tortured and then killed Nick to see what information he'd given us. I'd tuned it out while my own thoughts tunneled towards Kenny until Levi's voice broke me back into concentration. "Probably… they'd want to know if the connection between the Reiss family and the Church had gotten out, and they'd want to know where Eren and Historia are. Maybe even Saph."

"We don't really know who is a friend and who is an enemy. We don't believe this location has been compromised yet, but even coming here today we split into two groups and assigned shadows to look for anyone tailing us."

Levi looked at Hanji, "So that's why you want to hold off on experimenting with them?"

"Yes. Since Eren's powers were revealed someone from the interior has been trying to get their hands on him. The recent level of turmoil has certainly caused the pressure to be increased. Things are heating up and changing quite quickly. The inside of the Walls has become unstable too. It's clear that 'outsider enemies' like Reiner and Bertolt had allies on the inside the whole time. We need to worry about being stabbed in the back."

"So you're saying we should just sit here and have tea parties instead?" Levi asked, his voice teetering on anger. "So? No. It's the opposite." He stood up from his spot on the chair, switching the usual height differences so now he slightly towered over Hanji, Levi spoke with emotion that shivered through his haggard being, "Do you think these people are going to give up that quickly? They'll find us here eventually. If we do nothing but run, then all we can do is get caught. You feeling responsible for Nick's death is making you timid. How many of his fingernails were torn off?"

"Huh? I don't know… I only saw him for a moment… but… all the ones I could see were torn off."

"If you're going to talk, you talk after one. If you're not going to talk, it doesn't matter how many of your nails they rip off. It looks like he held onto his faith until the end."

I nodded along with Levi's words. Pain couldn't be compared between individuals. Everything about hurt depends on the person receiving it. Sometimes it takes a special something to break someone, like time or focusing on their mind. If Nick didn't talk before they killed him then they don't know about us watching the Reiss family.

Levi raised his fist in the air, "Anyways, the way I see it we have two options. Go outside before we're stabbed in the back or exterminate our would-be killers first. Which do you choose, Hanji?

"Both," Hanji gripped the armrest of her chair. "We'll do both at the same time."