8 | The Thirty-Six Theorems of Dot Pixis
theorem (n.): a non-self-evident statement that has been proven to be true.
It was a month before graduation when Shadis informed her she'd been granted her officer candidate status. He'd given her a nod and a piercing stare, brown eyes blazing as they talked in his office exactly a year after their first encounter.
It is now for you to decide how exactly you would serve humanity, he'd uttered.
Shadis had kept her background a secret, for the most part – only a select few instructors had ever known the true extent of her education, and it wasn't as if Camille had run her mouth off to anyone but Rico and Ian about who she was either.
It was customary, however, that the other branches of the military were notified of her new status.
First came a carefully written letter from the Military Police, signed by Nile Dok, the second-in-command of the MP Brigade's first battalion.
It is our belief that a soldier of your talents would be greatly suited to the purposes of the Command Battalion.
Second, after she finished unloading the wagons as the Training Corps moved from its grounds to Garrison HQ at Trost, she'd taken a seat on top of a crate near the stables. She savored a moment of shade before she'd head back to the Garrison barracks they'd been temporarily assigned, until –
"My, my," came an old voice, and as Camille wiped the sweat from her forehead, she was greeted by the sight of none other than the Commander of the Southern Territories himself, crimson sash and all. "If I had known the only officer candidate from this year's crop of cadets was a beautiful young woman, I would have approached them sooner."
The inherent sleaziness of his words were diminished by his lackadaisical tone. Camille moved to stand, but Dot Pixis waved a hand. "Oh no, don't get up and make a scene. You see, I'd heard the new Cadet Commandant had recommended a single person for officership, and I was quite curious…"
He reached inside his khaki jacket, pulling out and taking a big fat swig from a flask that reeked so much of alcohol Camille could smell it from where she sat. "…I wanted to see for myself what this person was like."
Camille guessed he was probably avoiding his staff. She'd heard the rumors about the commander, and she was still torn on whether he lived up to every outlandish story told about him or if the display she was receiving now exceeded those stories.
"Now, that's rather awkward, isn't it," Pixis continued, crossing his arms. He was a slim man with a shining bald head and a feathery gray mustache that barely hid the crooked tilt to his lips. "As it stands, you're second in your class, and yet the Cadet Commandant has seen fit to distinguish you with officer candidacy."
Pixis leered down at her. "But I suppose that's the way the world works, don't you think? Your degree from Mitras negates a better soldier's accomplishments."
Camille said nothing, cheeks flaming. She was well aware of the optics of her situation – it was one of the reasons why she had volunteered to help unload the wagons that day. Ian had been avoiding her ever since she'd told him of Shadis's decision, and she hadn't wanted to make Rico choose between either of them. So Camille made that decision for her by spending most of her free time with work, formulating something – anything – she could possibly say to lessen the bitterness Ian rightly felt.
So far, she'd come up with nothing.
"I agree, sir," She uttered, still mindful of the fact that she was speaking with perhaps the second most important person in the military. "But I wouldn't question the Commandant's decision."
Pixis guffawed. "A prudent answer for a cadet, but come now, surely you have your own suspicions."
Inwardly, Camille raised a brow. Was he baiting her into insubordination? "If I had any sir, they'll only remain suspicions."
They locked stares.
Camille sensed something beneath the commander's eyes, buried underneath the drunkenness, the wrinkles, and the leering. There was a reason why Pixis had been commander for so long, wasn't there?
His mustache twitched. "Tell you what," Pixis began, walking to stand in front of her now. "I actually came here with a proposition, and unlike you, I'll share it freely."
The Commander wasn't that tall of a man, but she didn't like the way he looked down on her, a benevolent smile on his wizened face, his eyes awash with some kind of amusement. "I've actually been searching for someone like you. Someone with your – shall we say, ah, abilities?"
He gestured away from them. She followed his gaze and found herself staring at Wall Rose standing tall, past Garrison HQ and the buildings of Trost, gleaming white under the hot sun.
Pixis reached for his inside pocket again. "You see it, don't you? The Wall. The only thing separating us and the titans," He paused, and Camille focused on him, watching the way he took another swig, but this time slowly, the motions a bit more careful, more precise. "I've had this vision for a while now of the Garrison being able to use this asset to its fullest extent. Of fortifying them so that we might one day be able to leave them. My Combat Engineer squads have always agreed with me."
Camille stood, processing what she was hearing.
As she digested this information, she tracked the way he glanced back at her. "How would you like to be on one of those squads? I'm sure a woman of your caliber would have far more imaginative ideas."
"Thou shalt have no other gods before They of the Walls," Camille quoted without another thought. "Describing the Walls in any form other than the way they are now, much less planning to modify it, is idolatrous, sir."
Surprise shone in Pixis's old eyes. He put away his flask. Smoothed over his gold-bordered sash. "So I've been told. But we must try anyway, don't we? Instrumental, idolatrous, it all seems to me to be a matter of perspective. For all we know, humanity's survival would come to rest upon such blasphemous ideas."
And of course, the wily Commander of the Southern Territories wouldn't back down from such a challenge. Camille fought a smile.
Like he read her face, Pixis clasped his hands behind his back. "I sense I have your interest. I will see you in my office tomorrow. We can discuss your attachment to an engineers squad then."
Camille recognized a dismissal when it was spoken. Pixis breathed deeply as he took a few steps off, muttering to himself.
"Really now. How's that for a proposition? I don't suppose the MP's could have matched such a thing…"
"Commander! There you are! We need to get going – "
And just as easily as Dot Pixis had wandered into her tiny corner in the stables, he wandered out into his domain, the exasperated cries of his staff as they finally located him echoing in her ears.
Pixis's words transported her to a memory.
There'd been an incident, once, at Wodan.
Camille had only been a freshman then, the small-town girl from the outside, as the other students liked to say for those who weren't from Sina. She'd come to the university with her head full of questions about the world around them that she wanted answered. There had been things she'd read and explored with Erwin; there had been more things she'd thought on her own, and she'd brought them all to Wodan with her.
The incident proved that all those questions would be answered in one way or another.
Most of her time, when not spent on doing schoolwork at her room in Sophia College, was used in paying numerous visits to Pastor Kircher at Ignace. One day on the way there, she witnessed her first arrest at Wodan.
Men in khaki jackets and rifles on their back escorted an astronomy professor from the halls of Newton College. She'd later been told that the professor had theorized that the other planets in the solar system could perhaps even be inhabitable by humans one day when they left their sanctuary within the Walls.
I haven't done anything wrong, the professor had said, and an MP wrenched his arm behind him so hard he screeched in pain.
You'll stay quiet if you know what's good for you, the same MP snarled.
Camille vividly remembered the seal of the MP's on their khaki jackets as they walked further away, disappearing into the lanes of maple trees. It was a deep, forest green horse's head that contrasted with its stark white mane and horn of a unicorn.
I don't understand, she'd cried to Pastor Kircher when she met him after. Why are we allowed to think fables like unicorns exist, but we're not allowed to know more about what's already before us?
Fables, Kircher had rumbled with a sigh, heavy hand on her shoulder, are what keep us occupied. We must look beyond them, but look carefully. Carefully in the way that we always look before stepping into a puddle, correct?
She would come to learn that was the secret to Kircher's theological commentaries: she'd read them out of curiosity, and in doing so read his criticisms that the Church of the Walls was nothing but another fable in between lines of elegant explication on the values of the Church.
She hadn't been searching for it either, but perhaps she found one of the reasons why Erwin had chosen the military in his search for the truth. To have a man of Pixis's importance speak so openly of blasphemy only reinforced her idea that the military had been the right place to turn to if she wanted to help humanity.
Instrumental, idolatrous, it all seems to me to be a matter of perspective.
For all we know, humanity's survival would rest upon such blasphemous ideas.
He'd had her interest the moment he'd expressed his own desire to utilize the Walls to their full capacity.
When she returned to the barracks that day, she leafed through the letter Nile Dok had sent her once again. The paper in her hands seemed completely out of place, knowing what she knew now of what kind of man the Commander of the Southern Territories was.
Reading Nile Dok's words again, it was also hard to imagine them as nothing but insincere. What kind of work would they have had her doing at the Military Police's first battalion?
Erwin's father had been a teacher too.
She tore the letter in half without another thought.
Pixis assigned her to the 16th Combat Engineers squad stationed just outside of Trost. She was introduced as an officer candidate to the squad, and she got along with the squad captain – a corporal in his thirties by the name of Kostya Ilin – easily enough. She learned the specifics of handling artillery to protect the gates to the Walls, and learned even a little bit about demolitions and wall repairs as she followed Kostya around, who in turn was more than happy to have a protégé listen to him babble about what they did in the squad.
Camille didn't complain, but she wondered if her time would be better spent at a squad in Shiganshina, where she could the cannons taking down titans with her own eyes. As it was, she only went through the artillery drills with the rest of her squadmates.
In all honesty, the cannons in their current state didn't seem very useful either. Accuracy was spotty and they worked best on targets that were either very slow or stationary… it sounded like a disaster waiting to happen.
"I agree, I don't think they'll be very effective if the titans decide to come traipsing through Maria," Kostya laughed when she voiced her concerns. "Thank god we don't have to worry about that anytime soon, now do we?"
Camille smiled. She liked Kostya. He was an informally trained mechanic like her mother, and picked up everything he knew from a lifetime of tinkering with machines. But on the other hand, Camille had never liked the complacency the Walls inspired in people. Not when they barely knew anything about the Walls to begin with.
"Always good to be prepared, Captain."
"Ah, I see," The squad captain continued, brow raised. "I should have expected as much from a person with your training."
"I was only thinking of worst case scenarios, sir."
"Of course! I will say that we've had a few proposals here and there, to make some wall-mounted artillery and fortify the gates, since they're the only entry points into the other Walls."
Camille nodded. That was what she'd wanted to hear.
"All for nothing. The Commander stopped accepting those proposals by the second year we took them up to the Royal Government in Mitras with no results. Says we should reconsider our approach, and until then, keep coming up with different initiatives."
"Hmm," She was unsurprised to hear that. Perhaps Pixis was only waiting for the right opportunity? She imagined that even with all his influence, opposing the Royal Government when it came to the Walls was still a considerable challenge. "I see. I look forward to helping with those initiatives in any way I can, sir."
He smiled at her answer as they headed into the Commander's office to report. Pixis continued to keep an eye on her progress, which she understood – she'd be the first cadet in years to graduate as an officer, if Pixis was pleased with her performance in the duration of her detachment.
The Commander was staring out the window, his back to them, as she and Kostya entered. They put their packs down by the door before saluting. Pixis only swiveled to peer at them with hazy eyes, cheeks suffused with pink.
The stench of whiskey in the room was overwhelming.
"Kostya," The Commander began as if this was all normal, "it's been a while, hasn't it? How has our new recruit been so far? I read your report. She seems promising, wouldn't you say?"
"Indeed, sir! More than promising. She would be a wonderful deputy squad leader."
"But for such a beautiful young woman to be placed in a squad full of surly men such as yourself – it would be like planting a rose among the weeds, would it not?"
"Commander! The lifeblood of the engineers squads are surly men. Well, except for that one squad with Captain Roebling..."
"Roebling is a fine soldier. And an even finer woman."
Camille blinked. She gazed at her squad captain, who jovially went on with his report without missing a beat. The two chattered like old men – which, to be fair, was what the Commander was – but they went about it like old drinking buddies, the report spinning off into tangents and anecdotes at seemingly every chance it got.
Knowing the Commander, she wouldn't put it past him to actually be drinking buddies with his officers. It was almost noon when Pixis finally released both of them, and Camille wondered why her presence had been required at the meeting to begin with, when the men talked about her like she wasn't even there.
"You look put out," Kostya teased as they exited the Commander's office and shouldered their packs. "Is it because the Commander didn't pat you on the back and tell you 'good job'?"
Camille felt her face heat up. The words weren't malicious, but she didn't want the reputation of being the spoiled university graduate who had deigned to join the military and thus expected to be complimented at every turn. Her motives were sincere – and whether other people believed that or not, she was here to prove something.
Lifting her chin, she met her captain's eye. "I'd like to think everyone would do their best even if no one was looking. I'm sorry I wasn't able to add anything meaningful to the report. Sir."
Kostya seemed pleasantly surprised by her answer. "Don't apologize. We like to go on." And on, and on, it seemed. "The Commander's been here longer than anyone else. Everything he does is for a reason – trust in him."
Was calling me a rose also for a reason?
"Now that we're back in Trost, the squad's thinking of getting together for some drinks tonight! We'd like you to join us. Can't have my new deputy skip out now, can I?"
Camille gaped. "Captain – you were serious about that?"
"Yes, yes I was," Kostya rolled his eyes. "Don't tell anyone yet, but that's what I was thinking, anyway."
Before she could even express anything – her gratitude for him even considering her as a deputy, or a proper response to the invitation for a night out – her captain began walking in the other direction.
"See you at the stables at seven!"
Camille twisted to get a word in. "Captain, I – "
"Don't bother bringing your wallet! My treat!"
And the man headed into the stairwell without another word. She couldn't even salute.
She put a hand on her forehead, as if massaging what just happened into her head.
As Kostya disappeared below, her eyes caught sight of another figure in the opposite direction. Her hands twitched, ready to salute in case it was another officer, but stopped short at who it was she saw on the other end of the hallway, already approaching her.
She forced herself to salute.
Warmth bloomed in her chest at the sight of a familiar face. He even had the same scowl, the same haughty boredom in his gray eyes.
"Snappy," Levi commented as he inspected her up and down. She suppressed a grin. The last time she'd seen him – it had been their carriage ride, and she hadn't known at all that it would be the last time she'd see him in person, otherwise she would have fixed those springs for him as soon as she was able.
Her body moved on its own as their conversation drew out. She followed him as he moved them to the side, and smiled as she stole another glance at him.
It was nice seeing a face from the past. It helped that he'd been the one to approach her – a sign that he hadn't forgotten her either.
He looked… different. His black hair was still close cropped and his bangs still fell into his grey eyes, but there was a tough solidity to him when he wore the soldier's uniform. Every inch of him radiated strength – from the unimpressed way he crossed his arms in his tan jacket to the obstinate set of his shoulders.
Humanity's Strongest. She believed it without a single doubt. To think that he came all the way up to her little village in Wall Rose, just to have her inspect his gear. The thought brought a quirk to her lips. "It's nice to see you again, Levi."
"I didn't expect to see you here," He replied, looking out the window. His gray eyes – the color of steely gunmetal, she couldn't forget – shifted to her for a beat. "What were you doing coming out of Pixis's office?"
Wasting my time, she might've said if she didn't feel like spoiling whatever impression he had of her. She laughed inwardly. "Reporting. My detachment just got in the district."
"So he is here after all," Levi muttered underneath his breath, and Camille stifled another laugh at his annoyance. At least her chain wasn't the only one Pixis was yanking.
She instinctively inquired about his own business, not at all expecting a real answer. If the Scouts were in town and on the top floor of Garrison HQ, then it must've been for top secret things a cadet like her had no business knowing. As she listened to his reply, she absently wondered who or what it was he was babysitting, and why he seemed not at all enthused by it.
Their conversation went on as she learned he'd been paying visits to Belcastle even when she wasn't there; naturally, because of this, news of her abrupt departure reached him too. And while she felt a stab of guilt, she felt somewhat reassured by the fact that someone else had been there to entertain the family she'd left behind.
They'd all let her go, all those years ago, because she'd told them it was her choice. She'd already been thinking of writing them now that graduation was coming up, but this was a good reminder. She made sure to thank him.
He surprised her by turning around and thanking her too. "I never thanked you for… three years ago."
People had gossiped about his legendary prowess on the battlefield. But here he was, thanking her for something she'd always done for Erwin without another thought. She beamed, unable to help the tilt to her head as she looked at him through her lashes. "You don't really need to thank me. I was more than happy to do that for you."
Levi nodded, saying nothing more.
She felt inexplicably tongue-tied. She remembered him being curt and irritable, but she also remembered that he had done her that favor too, three years ago, when they shared that rainy carriage ride to Mitras together.
"Right," Camille uttered, going for her pack. An officer like him probably didn't like it when cadets like her wasted his time. She should get going, anyway – she'd volunteered to help unload the carts again with a few of her new squadmates in the Combat Engineers. "Sir."
He nodded again, and she went off for the stairwell.
His cravat – Camille slapped her head later. I haven't returned it either. Why didn't I mention it?
"Oi," One of her squadmates stopped as he finished moving a crate off the wagon. "You okay, Leto?"
"Fine," Camille laughed. "Just remembered something I should've done ages ago."
"Right," He said as he eyed her with a wriggling brow. "You coming tonight? We told the Captain to invite you. Drag you there, if need be."
She grinned. "I'd love to!"
That night remained what it was: simply a night, a memory. The squad had plied her with beer all night and she woken up the next day feeling like a titan was trying to pound her head open.
But that was a small matter; graduation soon came and she was separated from the rest of the prospective graduates.
There was no fancy ceremony for her where she would pledge herself into one of the branches of the military – she'd made her mind up long ago, when Pixis first laid eyes on her and Camille smelt the whiskey on the Commander's breath as they spoke about what they intended to do to the Walls.
She was sworn in Pixis's office, with only a few other officers from Central Command to bear witness. Conspicuously, Kostya wasn't there.
She said her officer's oaths and traded in her Training Corps jacket for one with the rose emblem of the Garrison on it, as well as SPC Leto already embroidered over the left breast.
Happiness welled in her – happiness that was dampened only with the knowledge that she wouldn't be able to watch Ian and Rico swear their own oaths. Rico had told her they both intended to join the Garrison as well, even if Ian still avoided her.
Then the officers shuffled out the room, leaving as quickly as they'd appeared.
"Wine, Leto?" The Commander uttered, already pouring two glasses of the vermillion liquid. When he finished, he took his glass with him as he stood in front of his desk and he swirled its contents.
Suspicion's icy fingers traced over her spine. Meanwhile Pixis took a careful whiff of his wine, before he tipped his head back and drank. More than half his glass still remained when he raised a brow at her apparent silence. "I take that as a no, then."
Camille lifted a corner of her lips, knowing she'd gotten blackout drunk with her squad not too long ago. That had been celebration enough for her – and besides, something about Pixis's demeanor tonight put her on her toes, more so than usual. "I don't drink much, sir."
"A shame," The Commander shook his head. "Something told me you would've made an interesting drinking partner."
"I've grown to be wary of it," She said lightly, "You're surrounded by alcohol in university. Makes it hard to study if you're always hungover, sir."
"Perhaps you would share more about your time in Mitras, if we shared a glass together right now," Pixis said, tone mild. "But I see you are too cautious for that."
I was told to be wary of older men who offered you drinks, but she bit her tongue on her cheeky reply.
"Commander," Camille began instead, as he seemingly wanted her to speak more. "May I know something?"
Pixis didn't stop as he raised his glass for another sip. "Feel free. You are one of my new officers, after all."
"Was Corporal Ilin busy?"
The Commander's amber eyes stared at her over the rim of his glass. "Ah."
He took another unconcerned draught of his wine. "Simple. As of today, he is no longer your commanding officer. He had no reason to be here." Pixis curled a brow as if in thought. "Whether or not he's busy right now is another matter, of course."
Her stomach dropped. "I see. Will I be assigned to a different squad?"
Pixis smiled placidly. "Of course. My squad. Central Command, as it were."
Camille froze on the spot. That would explain the presence of the other officers from the Command battalion.
"I'm sure Kostya will be upset to know I'm stealing his beloved deputy right under his nose," At her wide eyes, Pixis chuckled. "Of course I almost approved your assignment myself, until I saw I needed an able aide in my office. Someone competent enough to get through university should be able to handle organizing a schedule, yes?"
The memory of that day struck her right then: Wall Rose's obstinate height, the heat of that day, the sweat dripping down her forehead and Pixis's solemn gaze. They never explicitly agreed on where she would be assigned after graduation. She'd only assumed that Pixis would permanently place her in an engineers squad. Even Kostya had been under the same impression.
Camille slanted her gaze at the Commander. Those had been bad assumptions. Logical assumptions, but assumptions all the same. She fought a sigh. She knew better now, at least.
"Don't tell me you have regrets now," Pixis still smiled. "Kostya briefed you of our failures with the Royal Government so far, hasn't he? It doesn't take much to load those cannons either. No, your place is here."
She said nothing. Nobody but her could decide where her place was, she thought petulantly. But if the Commander saw her as being useful here, then, who was she to question it?
Camille bowed her head.
After that, things changed even faster than she could have imagined.
She was assigned a set of officer's quarters beside the main building of HQ. She wasn't given any time off, and was even expected to report the very next day – the other graduates had the next week or so to report to their chosen branches, but the expectations for officers were of course different.
She knew the Commander had stayed up the previous night drinking with the MP's who were there for the cadet graduation, but it came as no surprise at all when she reported for duty and Pixis looked the same as always.
"Oh, Leto, you're looking fresh. Come have a look at the schedule your predecessor prepared for today, won't you?"
That was putting it lightly. The other staff she'd met outside his office had given her sympathetic looks, as if they knew this had to be the worst job in the Garrison.
He drove his last aide up the Walls, the XO, Viktor Petroula, had said. Poor guy asked for a reassignment all the way in Utopia.
"Of course, sir. Should I read it to you?"
"If you would kindly. I read you had an amazing memory. A man of my age can be quite forgetful, as you can imagine, so learning that was another reason why I assigned you here."
His voice was tranquil, but his amber eyes were sparkling with amusement. Not for the first time, Camille felt as if he enjoyed toying with her. She cleared her throat, hand reaching for the folder he held out for her.
"I hope my skills will be of use to you, sir."
Camille took a look at the schedule. The amount of inspections, meetings, and functions was dizzying. No way did he actually make it to all these appointments.
"Now, my previous aide happened to be a lieutenant, but I have every belief that your university experience will more than make up for this disparity in rank. From now on you'll be in charge of organizing the daily agenda and shadowing me while we work through it. All very simple, no?"
"Yes sir," She uttered with the smallest of sighs, and dictated the contents of both their day.
Nothing could ever be simple, she would come to learn. Not with Pixis.
"Oh, the mudpit looks well-fed today. Friday already? Who would've thought."
Pixis peered from a window on the second story of the Garrison's keep, and Camille followed his gaze to a fenced ring on the ground near the stables. She recognized it as the ring enclosure for the horses, though today it had rained all morning, and as the skies ceased to pour, the enclosure had turned into some kind of mudpit. Men in uniform gathered all around the pit, and some even shed the tan jackets as they hauled themselves over the fence and into the ring.
Camille didn't like the way Pixis had described the ankle-deep mud in the pit as well-fed, though. Beside her, Pixis's adjutant, a lieutenant called Stefan Meuleman, also peered below. "Competition is fierce this week, sir. Looks like Private Wesseling's in the ring again."
As soon as Stefan said the words, the men broke out in a brawl. Camille cringed as she watched them get thrown around the ring, soiling their clothes, and the men on the sidelines egged them on.
Pixis burst into laughter. "Good show! Wesseling never disappoints."
She felt her brows practically jump into her hairline. Stefan took pity on her and explained with a shrug, "It's something of a Garrison tradition. Every Friday, by the stables, last one still standing gets a portion of meat with their dinner.
"Seems like the brawl was delayed by a few hours because of the rain, though officers usually let soldiers wash off before they report for the day – "
They hurried to catch up with Pixis as he walked towards a balcony to get a better look at the fighting below. Camille didn't know what to think – on one hand she believed the Commander would let this happen and practically even encourage it, and on the other she couldn't help her exasperation.
They watched one particularly large soldier toss another soldier across the ring and get buried in the mud. Pixis cheered.
She couldn't hide her look of alarm when she met Stefan's eyes. What were they, animals?
The lieutenant had the grace to look slightly embarrassed, even if their commanding officer was decidedly not.
"Say…"
There was an audible shiver in the air as both aide-de-camp and adjutant turned to face the Commander. Pixis clasped his hands behind his back all too serenely. "When was the last time someone from Central Command won one of these Friday brawls?"
Stefan cleared his throat. "Uh, that would be Lt. Commander Petroula, sir. When you asked him to get down there… three winters ago?"
"I see."
Pixis eyed her.
"Specialist Leto. How did your hand-to-hand skills in the 99th Training Corps fare?"
Camille cringed, not liking where this was going. "Well, I was paying attention to the lectures, sir."
"Splendid!" Pixis crowed. "Central Command needs to be represented! Show them our strength, Leto. I will see you back at the office in an hour with celebratory drinks. I expect nothing less but victory from you."
"Respectfully, sir, our training wasn't very extensi – "
"Then I'll await your inspiring story of how you overcame such odds!"
Camille was wordless for a moment. The Commander only smiled. Stefan looked positively horrified. "Commander, don't you think this is going a bit too – "
Stefan's speech was cut off by Pixis patting her shoulder. "Make us proud. I'll break out a Utopia vintage just for you, Leto. Kostya told me you were partial to it. Now get down there!"
She snapped her jaw shut. "O-Of course, sir."
Dejectedly, she marched downstairs. Viktor was also watching the brawl, and when he saw her shedding her own khaki jacket with a sigh, he offered to hold it. "The Commander send you?"
She gave a reluctant nod. "Yes sir."
The XO winced. "Never thought he'd send a woman down here," He rubbed the back of his head. "Not much choice though. Good luck, I've been there."
"Go, Leto! Don't get pounded into the ground!"
They looked up at the keep, and saw Stefan cheering from the same balcony from earlier. When she met his gaze, the lieutenant flashed a thumbs up and disappeared into the building again, no doubt chasing after Pixis.
Camille rolled her shoulders. "Okay, I can do this, I can do this…"
Viktor grinned, though it didn't do much to help stifle her fear of getting flattened by the men in the ring. "Try not to slip. Once you're in it, it's hard to get back up.
"And oh, the mud's a bitch to get out of the pants."
With those words of encouragement, she launched herself over the fence and into hell.
Mud splattered all over her boots, and she found herself ankle-deep in the sludge. There was a considerable amount of space between her and the knot of mud-coated men going all out in front of her – though the numbers seemed to be lessening now as the burly soldier from earlier was stomping through the rest of the competition.
"Avoid Wesseling for as long as you can!"
Camille glanced behind her, finding Viktor to be pointing at the same oversized soldier.
She shrieked as she narrowly dodged another of Wesseling's victims being thrown head first into the mud and getting knocked out cold. The poor man's friends hauled him under the fence by the ankles.
She swore quietly, tiptoeing around the edge of the battlefield, hoping to avoid most of the animalistic fighting for now. Her hand-to-hand skills were probably useless in this slippery hell.
"Camille!"
She looked to the side.
To her chagrin, Rico and Ian were watching by the fence too – Camille nervously waved hello. She hadn't seen them in almost two months, and her new duties as Pixis's aide mostly kept her to the upper levels of HQ – this was not how she expected their reunion to be going.
The look of worry on Ian's face, which proved he still cared on some level about the predicament she found herself in, was something that she was silently cheered about.
"What the hell are you doing!?"
Camille ducked as Wesseling hurled another soldier overhead. His new victim landed in the arms of a few unsuspecting soldiers who groaned at the unexpected weight.
She shot a look at Rico over her shoulder. "It's a funny story really, the Commander ordered me here – "
A hand tugged on her shirt, and she was launched forwards. "A woman – ?"
Camille's forehead connected with the soldier's jaw as she stumbled.
"Shit! Now you've done it, I'm not going to go easy on you just because you're a – "
Hearing the threat, she doubled down and shoved him off of her, reaching for his arm and twisting it behind his back.
The mud and his surprise made it too easy for her to pin him to the ground, her knee on his back. "Sorry," She gasped, her heart beating loud in her ears, "You caught me off guard!"
The man groaned underneath her weight, and she already felt pity for him with the way the mud crusted over his face. "Easy, lady. Count me out."
Camille stood back with a nervous puff of laughter and relinquished him. "Saves you a pounding by Private Wesseling this way."
"…You got that right. Bastard's as big as a titan. Just as savage too."
The man snorted, which he regretted immediately since he was still lying face down on the mud.
"You idiot! Stop making small talk! You're going to get killed if you don't take this seriously!"
Ian's scolding, after a month of silence, was music to her ears. She gave him and Rico a mock salute over her shoulder. "Roger!"
Maybe I can do this.
As she stepped forward, she promptly slipped and fell face-first into the mud.
Not a lot of work had been accomplished that day, since she returned to Central Command with a black-eye and a sore shoulder from Wesseling also hurling her across the ring like a ragdoll. The Commander had insisted they drink the wine anyway, and pressured her and the rest of the staff into drinking with him. Then they all promptly went back to work the next day as if nothing had happened.
After that however, it was as if she was a top that had finally gained some sort of equilibrium. The whole debacle had made her accept the Commander, if not understand him. She doubted anyone completely understood a man like Dot Pixis anyway.
"Commander, we should leave now, the carriage ride will at least be two hours – "
Slurp.
"Commander, the carriage is waiting. Lord Wald said he'd consider cutting our funding if we arrived late again."
"Not an idle threat," Pixis chuckled, taking another bite of his lunch. He'd been eating for over an hour now, taking his sweet time while he read over a report from yesterday and had a glass of wine to go with it. "Should I say we were stalled by a wagon accident on the way there?"
"You said that last time, sir."
"So I see. I trust you'll be able to come up with a better excuse."
"How does 'we were diverted by some business with the Military Police' sound?"
Pixis looked up at her, moustache twitching. "And if he asks what kind of business it was?"
"'That information must remain between Commanders, I'm afraid.'"
As the Commander guffawed, Camille excused herself to sit at the sofa beside the bookshelves. She leafed through the previous aide's black book of appointments for the previous year, reading between the lines of scheduled meetings and the many more crossed out briefings.
Most of the time, Pixis seemed content to go with whatever the day had to offer, be it the schedule she devised with his consent, or the countless distractions the Commander liked to indulge in. Her job was simple if one first accepted the chaos Pixis liked to invite.
As such, she kept Pixis's days flexible. In practice this meant she reported to Stefan in order to keep a running list of the things that required the Commander's attention, and she referred these matters to Pixis at the end of every day. Pixis then discerned what he preferred to do the next day, and Camille suggested other dates for the rest of the priorities. Every morning, she refreshed him of what they had planned together the day previous, though she always planned extra hours into each task in case the Commander decided to veer off course, which he was all too likely to do.
She was by Pixis's side in most, if not all, times. As the adjutant, the second person she worked with the most was Stefan; his office was in the room before Pixis's, and together they formed a two-man team that corralled the Commander into finishing his work and anticipated his every whim. If they needed extra muscle for when the Commander was being too willful, they reached out to Viktor, whose office was down the hall and the door next to the Commander's. The XO would usually sigh and drop everything to go see what Pixis wanted.
Camille excused herself again to hand off a few documents to Materiel Command two floors below, knowing Pixis wasn't finishing his lunch within the next ten minutes anyway. As she exited the Commander's office, she waved at Stefan sorting paperwork on his desk.
"Going somewhere?"
"Materiel, sir," She hummed. "You already signed off last week. The Commander spilled some wine on the papers though."
Stefan made a vague noise of agreement, not looking up from his work. "About time he looked through those. And I know you remember, but Lord Wald wanted to see the Commander today."
"We'll be gone in half an hour, I think. I had the horses ready since morning."
She caught the adjutant's tsk as she opened the door to the hallway and Stefan set aside another sheaf of papers. "Thank Sina for the patience of the stable master."
Camille was handing off the documents two floors down not soon after.
"What the hell is a specialist doing with information like this?"
The captain in Materiel Command leered at her, and Camille stood stock-still, waiting for him to read the designation on her jacket. "Sorry, sir. I'm the Commander's new aide, Specialist Camille Leto."
He gave her a once over, eyes lingering on her legs and chest a beat too long before coming to rest on her face. Captain Ek from Materiel, she tilted her head to the side as she scrutinized him in her own way, creep.
"Oh, you're that new officer from the 99th," He uttered, voice suddenly devoid of the irritation from earlier. "Pretty little thing, ain't cha? 'Course Pixis would put you in his squad. You doing anything tonight?"
"Going over reports, sir."
"What are you again? Some kind of doctor, right? Otherwise you wouldn't land a post in Central so quick. Rest of us actually had to work hard to get here."
The derision flowed off her back. However she felt about being placed in Pixis's own personal squad, she didn't have time to go over them now. "Not a doctor," She uttered, lips cocked in a mild smile that he could interpret however way he wanted. "If I may, sir, I have to get back to the Commander."
True to her word, it would be another half-hour until she was following Pixis down the steps of HQ, and they sat opposite each other in the carriage ride to Lord Wald's estate in Wall Rose. Stefan stayed behind in HQ when the Commander paid courtesy calls, but as his aide-de-camp Camille was naturally obliged to accompany Pixis.
"You're doing an excellent job so far." Pixis commented, watching her scribble away in her own black book that she'd been given for her duties.
"To be honest, sir," Camille put her book down for a moment. "I still feel unqualified for this. Coordinating with the other officers has been… a little hard. I'm grateful I've got Lieutenant Meuleman to help me."
"But you've adapted well. It's rare for my days to go so smoothly, so that means whatever you're doing must be working."
Despite herself, she grinned. "Beginner's luck, you could say."
The Commander lifted his brows in exaggerated surprise. "A person like you believes in luck?"
Camille shrugged lightly. Pixis loved conversation; she'd come to learn that he expected it from his subordinates in Central Command. "And you, Commander? I think there's some things we can control, and some we can't. Sometimes, it can only be up to luck."
Naturally, the words summed up her own approach to dealing with Pixis. And in a way, it summed up her own life as well – luck that she'd been born Iris's daughter, luck that Pastor Kircher had offered to sponsor her entry into Wodan.
"Then we share the same philosophy," Pixis gave her an approving nod. "But where there's good luck, there's bad luck. Do you believe it was misfortune that placed you in my squad?"
Camille wondered if this was some kind of test or if it was just his natural curiosity, which Pixis admittedly had in spades. "I wouldn't question your authority as Commander, sir."
"Ah, good answer. But I imagine here was the last place a woman of your talents would go to. For someone like you, being in the military hierarchy and obeying everything your senior officers have to say must be maddening. Whatever gave you the idea to enlist?"
For a moment, the only thing Camille could do was smile faintly at the thought that popped in her head, borne out of her feelings of having just graduated from the Cadet Corps.
I know this… man.
He joined the military before me.
She couldn't say that. Camille chuckled as she shielded her face with a hand. After all, it was only after she graduated that she learned Erwin had replaced Shadis as Commander of the Scouts. The same Erwin from her childhood – she could barely imagine calling him Commander Eyebrows, but it only seemed fitting that he'd go so far. In the whirlwind of personally working under Pixis and an expedition that the Scouts were still gone on, she'd never even had the time to congratulate Erwin over his promotion, much less write to him now that she left the Cadet Corps and joined the Garrison.
Camille shook her head, folding the thoughts away. When she lifted her eyes to look at Pixis, she fought another embarrassed chuckle at the amused expectation written all over his face. "Well?"
"Well, sir," She straightened in her seat.
She met his gaze head on, knowing full why she agreed to be here.
"You said you had a vision for the Walls. I wanted to help build it."
Pixis's answering smile brought her no closer to an answer on whether or not this was all a test or merely his curiosity that needed sating.
Work went on. The Scouts continued to be absent from the Walls. She'd heard they were on an eastern expedition, looking to recon the area for a possible outpost outside the Walls in the future. Soon enough Pixis was due for an inspection of the southernmost garrisons – those stationed in the towns hugging Wall Maria, and the Shiganshina garrison.
It was as if the Commander could read her excitement over an official visit to Shiganshina: he called both her and Stefan to his desk that morning, uttering, "Leto, I'm sending you ahead of time to make sure everything is in order for my arrival. Kostya's squad will be rotating out one of the other engineers squads on the frontlines as well; I believe they'll be leaving later this afternoon. We can reconvene at the Garrison outpost in Shiganshina. Meuleman will send word when we depart."
Stefan whistled when they exited Pixis's office. "You get to go early? Lucky. That means I'll be alone with him until we meet in Shiganshina."
Camille smiled in consolation, though she was secretly thrilled she'd get to see Kostya and the rest of her old Combat Engineers squadmates. She nudged Stefan with her elbow. "Cheer up, sir. It'll only be for a day."
"Maria help me," the adjutant muttered. "At least you'll get to see the squad the Commander stole you from. Guess he does have a conscience sometimes."
Sometimes. Being all too familiar with the Commander's eccentric – if not slightly sadistic – sense of humor, they both sighed at the thought.
The journey with Kostya and her old squadmates was a welcome break from the ruckus of working for the Commander however. The easygoing chatter on their travel from Trost to Shiganshina about the kinds of work Pixis had her doing and how the squad all braced for their new post was refreshing.
"It'd be good to be busy for once," Kostya said, and he reached between their horses and patted her on the shoulder. The rest of the squad was riding on a wagon behind them. "This would have been good exposure for you, Camille. If you weren't in the Commander's squad, maybe we could've spent the time looking over cannon design. I still don't have a deputy after all."
For a moment, Camille's gaze strayed from Wall Maria looming in the distance. She smiled back at her old squad captain. "I won't be his aide forever. Even he approved his last aide's transfer eventually."
They were less than fifty kilometers away from Shinganshina when hell finally unleashed itself on the Walls, and the titans roamed the inside for the first time in a hundred years.
Notes:
here's pixis yanking everyone's chain for 8k words. it's sat in my computer for months; i've edited a lot and i'm not 100% happy with it, but oh well.
(1) pixis canonically has two escorts. i forgot their names. in this fic tho, i've given them the posts of aide-de-camp (camille) and adjutant (stefan).
(2) the title of this chap in particular is a reference to the 36 stratagems of wang jingze, which is a book akin to the more famous art of war by sun tzu. the stratagems is cunning military philosophy and strategy all rolled in one, which is very fitting for pixis. previous chapter titles also reference dishonored, by way of sokolov's portrait names using mathematical concepts (daud and the parabola of lost seasons is my favorite).
lastly: to everyone who's picked up this story recently - welcome! i hope you enjoy. i do realize this fic is... different from the rest of those on the archive. it reads more like a spinoff novel, and i'm taking my very very sweet time getting to the romance (which im sure was what everyone was here for to begin with). the chapters are somewhat long, updates are slow coming, i've got notes to last for days, erwin and levi dont even feature too prominently in these early chapters, etc etc.
reading everyone's responses and criticism does make me very happy and adds motivation, even if i tend to follow my own rhythm when it comes to writing this fic. so for those who've written me very lovely reviews and are planning to stay with camille and the rest of automata, i couldn't be more grateful!