Saph's PoV
I regretted the decision to sit next to Eren and among his fellow peers instead of the veterans once Sasha tried to swallow the entire carcass by herself. To celebrate us going to retake Wall Maria tomorrow, the heads decided to spoil us with a feast. However, the resulting chaos after they laid the spread in front of us might've been more than they bargained for. Cutting off a chunk not currently in her mouth or dripping in drool, I happily began to eat my decent serving of meat, loaves of bread, and soup. Amidst the rabble, Conny wrapped an arm around Sasha's neck so she couldn't swallow. The group then began to try and pry her jaws off of the entire ham. Eren applied pressure to her jaws like you do when you make a horse opens its mouth to put the reins in. Jean struggled to hold her hands, receiving a punch in the face for his troubles. Connie began to cry in frustration.
Trying to ignore them to focus on savoring each tender morsel, I turned all my attention to my plate. While I'd personally prefer a delicious dessert afterward instead of meat at all, I'd not let this opportunity go to waste. I struggled to relax and myself though, as the creeping sensation of being watched began to distract me. Goosebumps popped up as I subtly tried to figure out who. Peeking towards the veteran's table, I gasped quietly to see Levi staring at me with an emotion akin to anger. I snapped my attention back to my meal. What did I do? He seemed so upset with me lately. I thought we'd shared a nice chat when I visited him when he felt ill. Now he seemed pissed that I expressed how I wanted to be by his side and make him happy. That didn't make sense.
"You think you're so cool, you braying jackass?"
"Well, what's with your long hair, you deluded bastard?"
Startled, by Jean and Eren getting up to yell insults at each other, I watched in stunned silence as they began to repeatedly punch each other. Almost as if taking turns, Eren would sock Jean in the stomach only for Jean to right himself and smack Eren's face. Spittle flew from their mouths with each pained groan. Each thud weaker than the last, they began to pant from the exertion but showed no sign of stopping from using the other one as a punching bag.
"How many times has Mikasa had to save you because of your suicidal ass?" Jean screamed as he rammed Eren in the ribs, "If you keep trying to get yourself killed, you bastard, I'm going to kill you!"
Eren retaliated by kneeing him in the stomach. "I'll keep that in mind! And you, be nicer to your mom!"
They both sweat profusely, struggling to stand much less swing at the other one at this point. The two of them almost appeared drunkards trying to brawl.
"Hey." Levi casually strolled up to the idiots to kick Eren straight in the stomach. He got sent flying as a line of spit trailed from his mouth. Jean received a swift uppercut. The force made the poor guy vomit up everything on the floor. "All of you. You're being too rowdy. Once you've finished cleaning that up, go to bed."
"Yes sir!"
I hung back from the rest since I wanted to speak to Levi alone. To think we might head off to our potential doom tomorrow without having the chance to talk, broke my heart. Answers needed to be given. Seeing him crouched against the wall, I quietly approached. Just as I kneeled down in front of him, prepared to speak, he put a finger to his lips while tilting his head outside. Focusing, I could make out Armin, Mikasa, and Eren speaking.
"Some things are gone forever," Eren stated, "and they'll have to pay for that."
"Yeah." Mikasa quietly replied.
Armin perked up, "That's not all though! The sea. Remember? A giant lake filled with so much saltwater the merchants could never collect it all. The Titans aren't the only thing outside of the walls! Burning water. Land made of ice. Snowy plains of sand."
"Didn't we see that?" I asked Levi, louder than I'd meant to.
Arming peered around the corner, his eyes alight with delight. "You saw the sea?"
I slowly nodded. "Water as far as you can see? Smells like salt? The village that kidnapped Levi and I happened to be near one. Once we retake Wall Maria I'll take you," I promised Armin. "Even if there are still Titans, I'll just run right past them to it. Just sit tight and hold on."
"There's still the village," Levi pointed out, "we don't remember where that's exactly located."
I waved off his concern. "It'll be fine. We'll be careful, and the chance of us stumbling upon it is low. Besides, I can run away if it starts to look dangerous."
"Would you really do that?" Armin asked, grinning harder than I've ever seen him.
"Of course!" I smiled. Seeing his enthusiasm and hope made me want to give him those dreams.
Levi stood up. "The only way that might be slightly possible to accomplish is if we take the Wall tomorrow. I suggest the three of you head to bed in order to be well-rested for our mission."
"Yes, Captain." The three of them scurried off, chattering amongst themselves the entire way.
Finally, nobody is around us. "Levi-"
"I'll meet you in your room."
Heart hammering in my chest, I nodded before jogging off. To calm me down a little bit, I took a quick shower. The warm drizzle of water offered a slight comfort from the chill underneath my skin. Sounds of droplets crisply splattering against the floor soothed the drumming in my head. It always felt so peaceful and relaxing. A brief reprieve from all the noise in the world. Stress uncoiled itself from my shoulders. Not wanting to make him wait, I took a few deep breaths to maintain my calm before hopping out.
A knock sounded out just as I finished putting on my nightclothes. "...Come in." I didn't know what to expect as Levi entered my room. A displeased frown and narrowed eyes greeted me, but what surprised me was him wearing his sleeping attire too. He must be heading to bed right after speaking with me.
"You seem to be getting along quite well with Eren."
What? Blinking, I didn't grasp why he brought up Eren. It's not the conversation I'd expected to be having at all. "Huh?" is all I could throw out in response.
Levi sounded irritated. "You guys are up each other's asses. Training together all the time. Going on walks. Always joking and laughing so fucking loud together. Now eating."
Confused, I didn't expect this from him. Tired and a little hurt, I scooted underneath the covers. Pulling them up to my chin, I felt pretty fed up with trying to understand his recently weird behavior and words. "Did you just want me to be by myself? Anyways, you told me to train with Eren," I replied in an exasperated breath, in no mood to argue.
Never pleased no matter what I do. Now tucked under and sitting up, I analyzed him. I missed him so much. It's been difficult being apart from him completely. His presence fills my world with light, whether it's bantering over the table or falling asleep listening to his soft snores. That's the soothing sound I most wanted to hear before we go off to battle tomorrow, not the harsh lecture I'm receiving.
He grimaced, dragging a hand over his face as he did so. He looked downwards and didn't leave that position for a moment as he took a long breath as if struggling to speak. "Why didn't you sit with us?" he finally got out, almost whispering.
"Well… I didn't really think you wanted me over there." I wiggled my toes under the blankets, anxious about my confession and glad to not have him looking at me. It made me feel so childish to say that's my reason for not being with all the other veterans, but I'd never gotten to know the others. Even the past 6 months allowed me to get more familiar with Eren and some of his friends than the rest of the Survey Corps. "They at least haven't told me to leave them alone," I said pointedly.
He didn't move. In the silence of my bated breath, I scavenged his expression for something readable. Something I could hold onto in order to decipher the cascade of emotions crisscrossing the smooth planes of his face. Having him standing at the head of my bed only made me want to entangle my fingers with his to gently guide him into the sheets with me for no other reason than to be close to one another. I held his eyes, softening my own features to reveal the utter adoration I usually tried to mask. Lovingly, I stared straight into their depths, hoping to convey the entirety of my heart to the core of his being. Time passed. How much? I couldn't tell, but I could've never left if he didn't suddenly turn around. Grasping his sleeve with a gasp, I feared Levi meant to leave. That's the last thing I wanted. He seemed to be troubled and in pain. If he'd only allow me to help. Either curl myself around him to ensure he felt safe and supported, or encourage an eruption of motion that'd break the bed. I could be as soft or as hard as he wants me, he just has to ask. Instead of moving away, he sat down. I yearned to wrap my arms around his small frame, but he refused to face me.
"I really miss you, Saph," Levi spoke suddenly. "I do care about you… more than I should." He paused, his hands resting on his thighs suddenly became tight fists with white knuckles. Swiveling around to look at me, his words became a slow murmur despite the heavy tension in his body. "You make me feel so many things. It's quiet when you're not around. Knowing that…" his voice wobbled as he struggled to continue, "that you'll be taken away from me, and there's nothing either of us can do… What am I going to do without you?"
Shaking, I struggled to comprehend the meaning of this confession. He made it sound like I've done him a huge service by being here with him, but nothing's potentially further from the truth. He means the world to me. There's nothing else left to do but exist for him. "Being with you until my end is the least I can do for all you've done for me." Oh, how he inspired me. Almost always by my side as both protector and companion. I've never doubted his intentions because of the honest and gentle soul he is. Who wouldn't want to spend the rest of their lives with someone like that?
"No. It's everything. There's no one else I trust as much to have my back. You're the one I always want to fight next to. Who I want to face tomorrow with."
Smitten, I felt absolutely honored to hear that he considered me to be such a vital partner to him. "Who you want to sleep next to?" I squeaked out, wondering if I'm in the middle of the sweetest dream. Would I wake up if I asked for more? To voice that budding desire to touch him? To seek comfort in his arms with the knowledge that when the sun rises the next day it might be our last one together?
He stopped, finally slipping into that rare slight smile I loved. "Yes." Levi began climbing on top of the bed, so I scooted over to allow him under the covers by my side. It'd been so long since I felt his heat next to me, it beckoned to light a fire inside my belly.
A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Is the reason you were acting strange because you didn't like me spending so much time with Eren?" I giggled, finding it difficult to imagine him experiencing even slightly the same envy I have in the past.
"Shut up," he growled out, no actual menace behind his tone. "I just want to be here with you like this" he explained after we'd both settled our heads onto the pillows, facing each other.
"It's everything," I repeated back to him, breathless with gratitude. I'd stayed up so late the previous nights with worry. Fearing that he'd not want me in his life anymore. Now he laid right in front of me, his answer to my feelings better than I ever dreamed of. Maybe he's not madly in love with me, but he wants me with him. Partners both on the battlefield and off. I'd take his words to my heart and hold them forever. Stay by his side as long as I'm allowed. Witnessing him drift off to a peaceful slumber, I felt it my duty more than ever to give him the happy ending he deserved.
It'd been a long journey to reach the Shiganshina District. Approaching the Wall Maria, I prepared to go into ODM. I tilted my head to search for the signal from Levi, instead, I held Erwin's icy blue gaze instead.
"Tch." I felt a sting of irritation and stared at Lucifer's neck instead. I didn't have a clue why he suddenly wanted me with him for such a critical mission. Even Levi seemed stunned as he gaped at the Commander for a moment before speaking.
Is it an order?
I'll make it one.
That'd been enough for Levi to step aside. I'd wanted to argue, but there'd be little use. Now standing near our callous Commander on Wall Maria, I tried to calm the rising panic as I watched Levi sprint to the outer wall.
Armin waved his arm catching Erwin's attention. He walked over as I scanned the horizon for any Titans. Weird. There appeared to be none in the vicinity. I'd usually be relieved but it all seemed to be for a larger plan the enemies had for us. We had a few tricks up on our sleeve, including everyone wearing their hoods so they couldn't tell Eren apart. However, it sure felt as if we did get through this, it'd be by the skin of our teeth.
Erwin returned. "Arlet found ashes from a campfire. I told him to go down to investigate."
They're here. Reiner and Bertholdt. The Flame Titan. Maybe the Beast Titan. Potentially even more for us to fight. I barely paid attention as Armin came up to deliver a full report. I followed Levi's every movement with the heightened awareness that we're not alone. Hypervigilant of all happenings around him in case danger came about without warning. His short stature made him stand out against the crowd of other soldiers cloaked in wings. We all held a collective breath as Eren filled the first hole with a flash of light. All of them began to approach us.
"Follow Arlet's orders," Commander Erwin ordered the group of people searching for the Shifters hiding near us.
They all took off, but only a few minutes passed before Armin fired off a shot, forcing everyone to return to our position. "They're inside the walls!" He informed them.
"How do you know that?"
"It's a hunch."
My heart hummed in my chest the closer Levi's Squad got. We needed to remove any potential threats now!
A man grabbed him by the collar. "Do you have any idea what kind of situation we are in right now?"
"They've always used their Titan powers in the most improbable way to gain an advantage on us. If we let ourselves be constrained by regular common sense, we'll never get the upper hand to defeat them."
The Commander shot off a red flare. Halting the entire operation with that one move. "We're here to win, are we not?"
That got the soldiers in gear as Arlet gave his new orders for two teams to search for anyone residing in the Walls. It sounded unlikely but it'd also be the perfect place to wait for the time to strike.
"Saph," the Commander said out of nowhere.
I automatically stiffened. We've barely ever spoken over the years I've spent under his authority. Most of his messages got passed on from Levi, so I'd never gotten used to that authoritative ring in his voice. I'd never liked how much he's been able to see and manipulate. However, I'd always respected his ability to get his hands dirty in order to further his dream. He'd made Levi and I join the Corps under false pretenses of course.
"I've never thanked you for all those tidbits of information you've left on my desk over these years."
"Didn't think it's worth mentioning," I grumbled. I figured he always appreciated the documents I passed on with details that'd interest the head of the Survey Corps, especially if they didn't reveal anything I wanted. "Why did you want me with you anyways?"
I didn't think he'd answer me at first. He gave no inclination he'd heard my simple ask. After a pause of anticipation, he said in his always matter-of-fact tone, "I know you don't fight for humanity, and that you never have." Nervous, I opened my mouth to respond, but he continued onwards unaffected. "I don't either." That made me blink in surprise. Our Commander? The one always telling us to dedicate our hearts? "My father had an inclination that the king erased our memories when we entered these walls due to his work as a history teacher. He had a few theories of what really happened, and he shared them with his young son. Due to my foolishness, I told other people and that eventually led to the Military Police murdering him. I've decided to find the truth ever since." He gazed at the town before us, where the basement full of answers to all his questions existed. "I'm telling you all of this because I'm putting that dream and purpose aside, and I'm asking you to do the same." His icy blue orbs defiantly stared into me, daring me to argue. "I'm asking you to dedicate your heart to me today and to hold nothing back. I need to use your penchant for absolute ruthlessness now."
"Sure," I mumbled, unsure of what he meant. "I mean… yes sir."
A blast of green smoke sent all of us searching over the edge to see who'd fired the shot. "Here!" a man shouted, "There's a hole-" a sword shot out of the wall and stabbed the soldier before he could finish.
Levi flew down and cut the Shifters' neck with one blade while impaling him with the other. I only needed to wonder for a moment if it was enough to dispose of him before I got my answer. "Dammit," Levi shouted in frustration as he shot back up. A sphere of brightness followed him as it enveloped the boy. Expanding further and further until it disappeared, leaving the Armored Titan in its wake instead.
A loud eruption behind us followed. Over and over it sounded as though a line of cannons just fired. The same light engulfed the field just behind the town, forcing me to close my eyes against the glare. After it finally faded away, I desperately peered into the distance, trying to catch a glimpse of the face of death before us. The Beast Titan stood next to the Flame Titan, a wave of other Titans on either side of them. With one long hairy hand, he picked up a large boulder. As if tossing a ball, he chucked the rock at us. Instead of hitting near us, it crumbled our exit into a pile of rubble. Preventing any route for escape.
"They're planning on wiping us out here," Erwin spoke without concern. As if he's commenting on the weather instead of the annihilation of the only hope for humanity. "We're both getting the battle we've been hoping for. Let's put an end to this here."
"Erwin," Levi called out as he strode over to us, "he's going to come up here."
"Troops! Avoid engaging the Armored Titan! Don't get near that thing."
Everyone chimed in, "Yes sir!" After that short burst of confirmation, we waited for our next orders. Anticipation and anxiety holding our bodies in a taunt position of stillness, we strained to hear the directions that'd help us to get out of this mess.
"That quadrupedal Titan is intelligent, too," Erwin said as he pointed at one on all four legs carrying a cart with barrels on top of its back. Without warning all of the smaller Titans began to head towards our horses. He looked all around us, resolve gathering in his expression. It's our time to move. "Squad Dirk and Squad Marlene, go join squad Klaus at the inner gate. Guard the horses with your life! Squad Levi and Squad Hange your orders are to take down the Armored Titan! Use the Thunder Spears at your squad's leader's discretion. Carry out your objective by any means necessary. This moment! This battle! Humanity's continued survival depends on it, so once more for humanity's sake dedicate your hearts!"
"Yes sir!" rang out with potent efficiency as a surge of power filled everyone while the cry reverberated into the sky.
"Wait, Levi, Saph, and Armin. I have a different mission for the two of you. Levi, you and Saph are staying here to protect the horses and to wait for an opening to kill the Flame and Beast Titan."
The two of us nodded in unison, "understood."
Exhaling, I felt a huge sense of relief to be near Levi again. It might not last long, but I'll take the chance offered to me. Feeling better with him by my side, together we easily dispatched any of the runts that came near the horses. I could hear Lucifer angrily snorting as they split them up in order to not be easier targets to wipe out. With only a few remaining members of the original Survey Corps still fighting, the majority struggled against even the tiny ones. I'd never felt like a veteran until now, seeing how my fighting skills now compared to the rest. A sudden loud roar caused all activity to stop.
"Is that the Armored Titan?" Levi asked nobody in particular.
A shiver shot down my spine. Why hasn't Erwin ordered me into Titan mode yet? Out of nowhere, a barrel flew over our heads. Not long after, a mushroom cloud of smoke could be seen peeking over. The Colossus Titan! How'd Hange and the others be able to defeat two of them? Not that our odds were any better.
"We've finished off all of the small Titans near here," I reported to Levi, "but how are we supposed to take down the Beast and Flame Titan? They're just sitting over there. Neither has made a move."
"Yeah. Seems like we have a coward here. Well, I guess that thing never had balls to begin with."
A soldier flew up to the two of us. "You guys stay back and rest. We'll take care of the rest of the small ones for now! Let's go," he called out to the comrades around him.
Appreciative of the occasion to rest and gather my bearings, I stopped in front of Levi. "I'm worried about them back there."
"We have our own shit to worry about," he huffed, bumping his hand into mine. "Don't get distracted."
A crackle of what sounded like lightning pierced our ears without warning. Seeing a flock of stones flying through the air and beginning to submerge the Corps, I instantly jumped in front of Levi. Turning into a Titan, I shielded him from the barrage as best I could.
"Frontal bombardment!" Erwin screamed out. "Take cover."
Hunching down, I stayed low and placed my claws out in front of me to protect my face. Using me as a shield, Levi escaped to Erwin's location. After the second round ended, I quickly retreated to where the men now stood.
"How's the situation," he asked the Commander once we, the horses, and the recruits reached the back of the district. Far away as possible from the Beast Titan's reach. Not that it'd do us much good for long since his attack now began to level the entire city.
Erwin sighed. "Could not be worse. Most of the houses ahead of us have been blown to bits by those broken boulders. If he keeps it up, this place will be nothing but rubble in no time. We won't have anywhere to hide. The Colossus Titan is also closing in on us from behind. If we retreat here we lose all hope of victory.
"What happened to Hanji's squad? Is Eren alive?"
"I don't know. Most of them seem to have been hit by the blast of the Colossus Titan. We've taken massive losses. The Beast Titan must have been controlling the smaller Titans to herd all of our soldiers to one forward position. Because of that, Squad Dirk, Marlene, and Klaus who were fighting those smaller Titans got wiped out. In other words, the surviving forces within the walls are you Survey Corps recruits, Captain Levi, Saph, and me."
Erwin's answer made me gasp internally. Shit. We are so fucked. More pieces of rock crashed around us, caving in our hope with each hit. A low whimper emanated from my open jaws.
"I'll go out there," Levi declared, stepping forward. "You, Saph, and Eren should be able to make it back alive."
No! I shook my head with venom. I'd never let him sacrifice himself for me. Staring at Erwin dead on, I pointed to myself. This is what he wanted me for, wasn't it? To take down our enemies completely.
Gritting his teeth, Levi stepped towards Erwin. "What and let one of our only Titan shifters get eaten or captured? Handing over one of our best weapons?" An unhappy scowl twisted his features. "There's the Beast and Flame Titan. That quadrupedal Titan might be another shifter. The 20 mindless Titans are also there. It's a suicide mission."
"That may be true, but we have no other options," Erwin declared. Another smattering of rocks erupted the buildings in front of us, crumbling them into dust. "There's no room for retreat, now go, Saph!"
It hurt to rip myself away from Levi's presence while still holding eye contact. If I'd been a human and enough courage existed in that moment, I'd have kissed him before I left. Pressed my lips to his just in case I'd never get the chance to again, maybe wipe that worried expression away with the surprise in the process. Then there's the chance doing something so rash might've just concerned him more, feeling like an unintended goodbye. I'm not ready to part with him yet. That's why I'll rip these bastards apart to keep both of us alive.
Racing along the grass directly towards the Beast Titan, I dodged sporadically as another rain of splintered stone tried to eviscerate me. They whistled past my ears and crumbled to dust with the force of my swipes. The strength of my sharpened nails ensured some protection as I continued to shield myself. Continuing my hurried pace, I reached about the halfway mark before the Beast Titan stopped chucking objects at me, instead, he raised a single finger. All the Titans to the left of him and the Flame Titan rushed towards me with their tongues lolled. At least this would prevent him from throwing any more boulders for a second. He'd only hit his own forces.
The first Titan soon approached with his arms outstretched and a gaping mouth. I'd need to do this quickly and effectively because if they surround me I'll be ripped apart by the horde. Desperate to maintain enough space to take them out without getting overwhelmed myself, I injured him. Ducking down, I took a moment to cut a foot off to topple him. With the weak point now easily displayed, I slashed the back of the neck as I continued my sprint forward. The next one fell to my teeth as I pounced on its back to rip out a chunk of flesh. Soon I lost count as the forces flooded the area around me. Dancing backward, I continued to maim the faces and bodies within my reach. Their blood coated my skin and steam wouldn't stop emanating from the dripping liquid. One tripped over a buddy of his that I'd just decapitated. The fall allowed me to yank its head off with my teeth while it laid helplessly. More hissing and sizzling began as I held the skull in my mouth while stomping on its throat. I'll end them all!
Distracted by the outpouring of mindless Titans in front of me, I didn't keep my wits about me in regards to my surroundings. Occupied with the multitude of blubbering limbs and hungry mouths, I didn't consider the Beast might still be manipulating them. That changed, however, when a whiff of smoke and soot sent me careening backward as I scrambled to get out of the mass of monsters. The Flame Titan! It parted past the other Titans as it jogged towards me. They paid it no mind even as it partially melted some as it passed. Realizing they're being funneled towards me with the use of the others, I dreaded the approach. Completely enclosed within, the heat began to build as they came closer and closer.
Thinking quickly, I wrenched myself out of my neck. Before my Titan even had a chance to fall to its knees, I used my 3dMG to swing myself to the outer edge. With a clear line of Titans in front of me, I flew by, slitting the back of multiple necks as I went. The Flame Titan struggled to reach me as I jumped in the air. The horde began to thin out as I continued to intentionally kill and he continued unintentionally harm. After a large gap had now formed around him, I landed in the grass. With my handiwork now on full display, an apparent pathway of disintegrating corpses appeared before me. Perfect. I needed a running start in order to accomplish this move. Seeing the Flame Titan still occupied with trying not to bump into the others near him, I recognized the perfect moment to strike. With them distracted and not knowing my position, I sprinted forward. Darting amongst the large feet and bloated legs, I kept low to prevent me from being spotted. It'd be the end if I get stepped on. Don't think that's something I can recover from. Not daring to blink as I charged forward, I hooked my gear into the Titan's ribs to catapult myself at them with full speed.
"Yaaaaagghhh" I screamed as I transformed, hands held out in front of me. I speared through the Flame Titan, claws piercing its chest as I clamped down with my teeth into the neck and tore away. Spitting out the blackened flesh, I felt a burning sensation on my tongue. At least my Titan's long nails prevented the same from happening to the palm of my hands. No matter. With the human body now slightly exposed, I knew exactly where to aim as I once again bit down. This time I chewed and swallowed, shuddering at the thought of the carcass slicking down my throat. Satisfied that I'd finally defeated that unholy being, I turned my attention to the Beast Titan. Everything went black instantly as I received a boulder directly into the face.
I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! Thank you so much for the kind comments on the last one. It meant a lot to me. I truly do love and appreciate all of you for sticking with me and wanting to read my story. Please be staying safe and taking care of yourselves!