"We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you, I die a little more
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It'll never be enough."
-Little Mix, Secret Love Song Pt. II

Tikki was going to kill her.

Marinette knew exactly what the kwami would say to her- that this was irresponsible, that she was putting her identity at risk, that a Miraculous was never to be used for selfish reasons… and deep down, Marinette admitted that all those things were true. Even so, she had gone ahead and decided in secret to do this. Her stress levels had skyrocketed after becoming the new Guardian and she was constantly making sacrifices for everyone else in her life. Didn't Ladybug deserve something for herself once in a while? Ever since that night at Alya's house she couldn't help but want to go through with this. So without telling Tikki she mentally marked a day on her calendar that would determine if Ladybug really was as courageous as everyone believed. She had waited 11 days. If she had done this right away it would have been way too suspicious of a coincidence. Waiting exactly two weeks could seem uncanny as well. But 11 days, that was a random enough number. There was no reason Adrien would think her visit tonight would have anything to do with a random hang-out at Alya's 11 days ago…

11 days earlier…

Adrien was going to kill Nino. He may have been relatively new to having genuine friends but this definitely had to be a violation of that "bro code" Nino was always on about. Hanging out at Alya's house had been relatively normal up to this point. Well, normal for the special treat that was actually being allowed to see his friends. The point was, they were talking, laughing, and enjoying the treats that Marinette had brought over from the bakery. And then Alya decided they should play Truth or Dare. Adrien wasn't worried by the game. Sure, he had the biggest secret out of any of his three friends since he was moonlighting as Chat Noir, but nobody was going to ask him if he was a secret superhero as part of the game. Even if they did, he was allowed to break the rules and lie to protect his secret identity. So why not play?

That idea that the game was harmless had been before Nino's question. Adrien knew Nino would want to get him back after Adrien had dared him to put one of his socks over his soda can and take a sip, but he had not expected this when he confidently chose "truth" instead of a dare.

"Okay, bro… What is your biggest fantasy?"

Adrien's cheeks immediately flushed red. It was one thing to discuss these things with your closest guy friend, but to have to say it in front of your two closest female friends was mortifying. He couldn't even lie because Nino knew the truth and would undoubtedly call him out on it. Alya seemed to find the question hilarious and sweet Marinette blushed almost as hard as he had. She was so shy that Adrien could only imagine how uncomfortable he was going to make her by admitting this.

"We're waiting, Agreste," Alya said in a sing-song voice. Damn it, he was actually going to have to talk about making out in front of these girls. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so uneasy with these three. With a sigh he began to speak.

"My biggest fantasy," he started, then paused to decide if he should look at the ceiling or the floor. No way in hell was he going to look either of the girls in the eye as he talked about this, and looking at Nino felt weird as well. He settled on the floor and then continued. "My biggest fantasy is that I'm hanging out in my room doing homework or something… and then, um, then Ladybug shows up at my window."

Adrien's confession was interrupted by Marinette choking on her pastry. Alya quickly checked on her sputtering friend then motioned for Adrien to continue.

"She's okay. You can keep going Adrien," There was an amused gleam in Alya's eye. "I didn't realize you had such an eye for Paris' spotted heroine…"

"Oh you've got no idea!" interjected Nino. "My dude here has had spots in his eyes for ages. You should see the merchandise he's got stashed under his bed."

"Nino!" Adrien cried in shock. He didn't even notice Marinette's second coughing fit, this time on the water she was attempting to swallow after choking on the pastry. That comment was definitely a bro-code violation. "What the hell, man?"

Nino just looked at Adrien with a shit-eating grin. "Sorry, dude, but unless you actually answer the question I am fully justified in filling in the details for you."

Adrien just glared at Nino before continuing.

"Fine… so Ladybug shows up at my window. And I, uh, I invite her in. And we, um, we…"

"Get funky?"

Alya's comment caused her and Nino to dissolve into laughter. Adrien wished the floor would swallow him up.

"You guys suck," he muttered. "At least Marinette's a good enough friend to judge me silently instead of out loud."

"Oh!" Marinette squeaked, "No, I'm not fudging- Judging!- you. I think it's fine to think about making out with you- I mean for you to think about making out! With Ladybug. Or whoever. You're allowed to make out with whoever. Think about making out with!"

Alya and Nino just laughed harder, but Adrien appreciated the gist of what Marinette had been trying to say. He gave her a warm smile, which she shyly returned before hurriedly looking away and taking another sip of her water.

"I'm just a little surprised," Alya finally managed to say, "you've always majorly agreed with me that Ladybug and Chat Noir would make an awesome couple. If you're that interested in Ladybug, I wouldn't think you'd ship her so hard with somebody else."

Adrien couldn't help blushing again. "Well just because I think that they would be great together doesn't mean I still don't find her absolutely amazing and brave and beautiful and kind. She deserves to be with somebody every bit as fantastic as she is… but I still can't help admitting though how nice it would be if she just happened to show up on my windowsill some evening."

"So you could kiss her."

"Ugh, fine! Yes, Alya, so I could kiss her. There, that's my fantasy. Can someone else go now?"

Alya and Nino agreed that Adrien had suffered enough and that it was someone else's turn. As the evening continued, things went back to normal and Adrien's embarrassment quickly faded. He enjoyed the rest of the evening before his driver pulled up in the limo to take him home. And as for the fact that Marinette was fairly quiet with a pensive look for the remaining time following the game, well, Adrien didn't even notice.

So here Marinette was, standing on a rooftop opposite Adrien's house. Now that she was so close to going through with her crazy plan all of the doubts and questions began to fill her mind again. A voice in her head began to whisper thoughts to her: This is irresponsible behavior for a guardian. What if he finds out your identity? What if despite having this fantasy he thinks Ladybug is a pervert and a creep for showing up uninvited and he tells everyone and then all of Paris will hate Ladybug and you'll have to make Chat Noir the Guardian and you'll forget that any of this ever happened and…

This voice of exaggerated reason was silenced as she suddenly caught sight of Adrien in his room. The only word Marinette could think of to describe how her crush looked was exhausted. She had long been able to recognize the phony smiles and the model expressions he put on in public, but she had never seen him let down the walls this much. The boy looked like he hadn't slept well in days. And just like that, the voice in her head was replaced by recent memories that she had been too exhausted to add up before now.

Like when she overheard Adrien tell Nino how he hadn't seen his dad for over two weeks.

Or when Adrien confessed to the three of them how terrible he felt calling things off with Kagami.

Or how he had started bringing extra large coffees to school in the morning because of all the extra photoshoots he had been scheduled to work.

And adding all of these memories up made Marinette realize that Adrien was in need of a break almost as much as she was. Risks be damned, she could not stand by when she could give the poor boy one night of happiness while he was dealing with so much stress and disappointment. And maybe her motives weren't purely selfless, but she could allow herself to be greedy if it would help him as well. Steeling her resolve, she launched her yoyo and secured it on the roof of the Agreste mansion.

Here goes nothing, she thought to herself as she swung across to one of Adrien's windows. As she landed on the windowsill she looked in to see if Adrien had noticed her yet. He had not. Instead he was looking confused around the room as if he had just misplaced something. Taking a deep breath, Marinette lifted up her hand and knocked.