Saph's PoV

"Who are you?" The older gentleman asked while his bespectacled wife peered over his shoulder. His tone held not a cautious note, but one filled more with surprise than fear. With my swollen belly and bedraggled appearance, I probably looked quite helplessly lost more than any potential danger. Lost I did feel. No matter where I go, that emotion had crept into my heart the night I left, and only continued to grow as each day passed. A weary mixture of dread and excitement soon accompanied it as my stomach continued to extend. My shirt had become so tight that in a fit of frustration, I cut it in half so it wouldn't rip with the stretching.

Straightening up slightly from my hunched position, I gave a tired smile. "Hello. May I rest here for a bit? My name is Silia, and I'm a stable girl from Mitras. This child is a nobleman's son, but his family was stripped of their home and lands in the militant uprising. Even if they wanted something to do with me, they don't have the resources to care for me and my baby anymore." Cupping the stretched skin with the palms of my hands, I rubbed my belly in slow circles. "I'm looking for work so I can support both of us. That's why I'm heading to Wall Maria, but I found myself completely unsure of where I was after I entered Wall Rose. I've been wandering around for the past few days in these woods. Figured I'd find someone if I headed back towards the Wall."

"You poor thing! That's horrible. You don't have any family members that'll help?"

"They were killed when Wall Maria fell or in the retake efforts afterward. That's why I want to go back there. See if the home I grew up in is still standing."

His wife startled both of us as she pushed her husband to the side. "Don't just stand there berating her with questions! Please, come in, Silia."

I approached the couple with an approachable hand out to shake. "What are your names?" I asked as if I didn't know exactly who they were.

Edmond and Honey. Their two boys peeked around the corner of the house, drawn in by the commotion at the front door. Freud and Nolan. Watching them for the past two months had revealed a kind small family living on this farm nestled against the towering Wall that contained the city of Krolva. Surrounded by a field for cattle, sheep, and horses, the animals roamed more freely on the property than I'd seen before. Crops were what was contained in fences. Everything was protected by three dogs that guarded the place. After seeing how generously they treated all the animals and the two little ones, I felt like they'd be the perfect family for my baby to grow up in. I tried to pick the safest location as well. Situated near the capital but not within. If any nation tried to take over, it'd be at the core of our power. I'd need to be able to grab my child and leave if necessary. On the other hand, if we're attacked at the docks first, the family should have access to Wall Sina for protection.

They hadn't been the first family I considered. Hidden within the woods, I plundered from hastily abandoned houses for food and other resources in the first few months before I started my search. While I peeked in on some towns, I found it to be easier to watch the outlying farms and homes since there's less of a chance of me being spotted. Then a couple containing a pregnant woman, I'd been observing, rushed over to Honey and Edmond's. The way she huffed and groaned could only mean that she'd gone into labor. They left as a happy couple with a healthy baby in their arms. It seemed almost a sign. This might be the perfect place for me to give birth and be able to leave knowing my kid would have a happy and safe life. after giving birth. I'd also be able to return to my duties and be next to the man I love. It'd already felt too close to eternity since I'd seen Levi's face. Traced the tips of my fingers along the warm curves of his skin as we fell asleep in each other's arms. I need to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Have things been chaotic since Queen Historia took charge? We haven't gone into town for a bit to let it all calm down." Honey added. A sugary name for a sweet lady. Someone named after one of my favorite candies? That made me trust her only more after I'd learned of it.

"Yes, but a lot of great changes have come in as well. Us servants are just part of the collateral damage since most are from Wall Maria. Previous politicians had been so kind in offering us safety in their homes for the small price of absolute obedience and inhumane treatment. While the new government is much better, they are on a tighter budget," I shrugged my shoulders, trying to remain mostly neutral. "They want a lot of money to go towards military operations. If they hadn't recaptured Wall Maria, there would've been a serious problem." It's times like these I could only appreciate my knowledge of the inner workings of politics I'd gleaned during my time with Bells. "Not to overthrow Queen Historia because everyone loves her, but the nobles would've been incensed towards removing the Survey Corps from the helm and to the sidelines again."

She opened the door to a small but comfortable bedroom. "We never would've learned about the outside world and their intentions towards us. That's still difficult to process, but there's a lot more hope than previously seen in my lifetime. "Wall Maria would still be lost as well if it all hadn't been shaken up."" Honey grinned at me with warmth as she straightened the covers. "We've been getting quite a few guests since people have been allowed to move back," she said in a much lighter tone. "Less has trickled by as time has passed, so I'm glad you popped up." After taking a moment to fluff the two pillows perched below the headboard, Honey glanced at my belly. "What's your plan for the birth and your baby?"

This. "With the last of my savings, I hoped to check into a hospital for a doctor to help me or in a hotel for a midwife. Then I got lost." Part of the reason I grabbed the money I'd stockpiled over the years is so I could give most of it to whoever I gave my child to. I wanted to ensure that there'd be money for food and whatever else they'd need.

"Well, dear, you look like you're about to burst any moment. I'm worried you'll leave here and go into labor in the middle of the road or alone in the forest. I've delivered hundreds of animals and dozens of babes. That's why I want you to help you myself."

"You're very generous! Please accept some of my savings as payment." Less of my concern simmered on myself and if I'd be okay throughout the birthing process, at least physically, but I didn't know how me being a Titan Shifter might play out. If it would affect the baby negatively or not. That's what continued to bounce around inside my skull.

"That's not necessary. I want you to use what you have in a new life you're starting with your child. Make sure you're both eating and have a roof over your heads. Can't be sleeping on the cold ground with a newborn," she tutted at me while she pulled out a nightgown from the bottom drawer of the dresser. "Gotta take care of yourself so you're able to care for the baby. Now, please get some sleep in an actual bed. These should fit you. I'm going to find the dresses I wore when pregnant with Nolan's and Freud's mom and alter them to fit your frame a little better. So skinny and dainty for someone so far along."

Struggling to fathom why she'd go so far to help me, I grabbed the pjs in a daze. "Why?" I simply asked.

Her hustle and bustle finally paused as Honey glanced at me. "We've always accepted people who have nowhere else to go. Refugees from Wall Maria. People escaping persecution from the old government. I grew up very poor because my family almost became extinct on orders of the King. A grandparent had started tinkering around and came up with some neat gadgets." Sorrow swept over her features. "The nobles thought they were too powerful for peasants to have. Wanted to kill him and everyone else to erase every possible trace of the inventions. My parents paid another family to take a 6-year-old me in. They died soon after. Brutally murdered, but I grew up being used as a servant as my adopted family fell into destitution from the alcoholic gambling father." She grabbed my hands, squeezing them reassuringly. "I never got to know my family or the creations that led to their deaths. Nobody deserves to feel alone in their hardest moments."

Guilt rushed through my veins as I felt like a fraud standing before Honey. A small part of me felt reassured that I'd chosen the right person. I almost wanted her to be my mom. I grew up sleeping on hard dirty floors, feeling utterly isolated. "Thank you. Do let me know if I can help or assist in any way, however small."

"You're adorable. I'm sure the boys will enjoy having someone new to talk to. They can get quite bored with Edmond and I's company. They'll be eager to meet you tomorrow, but I'll let you get to it. I'm sure you're quite tired. Let me know if you need anything! Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"What are you going to name it?" Nolan bluntly asked with his wide eyes glued to my stomach.

I wrapped my arms around my midsection protectively. "Don't use it."

"Well, what should I say?"

"Them, and I don't know." It seemed like a dangerous idea so I tried not to let my mind linger on the subject. Might get too attached. "Thought it'd come to me when I see them for the first time."

Freud stopped playing with his wooden horse to proudly announce, "Them name would be Killer!"

"What would you name yours?" I asked Nolan as I leaned back further into the sofa. Edmond had gone to chop wood after Honey left for town in the morning, leaving me in charge of their grandboys. At 4 and 8 they didn't need to be heavily watched, just entertained. Something I quickly learned I enjoyed doing tremendously. I'd always gotten along with small kids more so than my own peers. Even when I'd finally reached the age of recruits, there always seemed to be a disconnect. One that never appeared with children.

I gave Nolan a minute to think. Realizing after a few interactions that he's quiet but also smart and honest. Just needs some space to sort out the uniquely sensitive thoughts spinning in his head.

"And Freud! I want two to play with," Freud interjected, frustrated that I hadn't responded to him.

"Some people think of different names depending on if they're a boy or a girl," I said. "Would you still name them Freud? Freud the ll?"

"Irene or Dutch. After my mother or father," Nolan finally answered, his tone somber.

The mood dropped as grief swept over all of us, in its various convoluted yet strangulatory ways. Falling into silence we independently felt a similar surge of emotions and memories bury us into the past. Loss tends to do that. Drag you back into the past. It'd been a while since I recalled any details about my own dear parents. The edges so fuzzy and distorted, I struggled to perceive what might be inserted figments of falsehoods from the gleans of truth I'd known for so long. Even their names only existed as a whisper now. Maybe it's something I'd have done at their age, but now Suzu would be more meaningful. They'd always been slightly absent in our lives, but his playful presence meant I never felt alone. Not since his birth. That is until he disappeared.

"What are you young ones talking about?"

"Baby names!" I said with a smile. "Nolan said he's thinking of Irene or Dutch. How'd you come up with Irene and her brother's name?" I asked, figuring the boys would like to hear it as well.

A wistful smile revealed his teeth. "Irene and Dar. Honey heard your mother's name in the singing of the birds around us in the trees. She said it was such a pretty sound, and that it meant she'd be a girl with one of the prettiest voices. Spot on like usual. My little lady sure knows her shit." He paused to scratch his chin for a moment. "We wanted one more little baby. I said to name them Darling. Honey, Darling, and sweet Irene. It sounded like music to me. When your uncle joined the military, he shortened it." Chuckling, Edmond seemed lost in the past for a moment before returning to us to continue. He turned his full attention to me. "What are you thinking? Some people have no idea until they see the babe's face."

"That might be me," I said with a slightly strained chuckle. I'm a little lost, but they've been coming up with some great suggestions."

A dog barked in the distance, causing them to leap up in delight. "Skotty smells a rabbit!" They shouted in unison before running off.

After watching the boys leave to hunt dinner, I shuffled over to the elderly gentleman. "Thank you for sharing."

"Ah, Silia, it's always a pleasure to speak of them. Those two were our treasures. Now these boys are the most precious gifts we have. They're the reason I always feel so rich no matter anything else." Edmond offered me his arms. "However, I don't get to speak of their beloved mother or uncle as much." Warm and assuring, his tone held so much fondness for his late children, I felt immense anger at the world for hurting such a compassionate and loving individual so deeply. "Nolan asks a few questions about his parents once in a while, but he's more occupied with being a big brother to Freud than to properly mourn. When Freud cries at night, he crawls into bed with him."

Flashes of moments when I held Suzu close in the pit of the Underground during the first few months came to the forefront of my mind. "Siblings can stick together no matter the harshest of circumstances."

"Yes, that is very true." Edmond glanced at my bloated stomach that seemed to be on the brim of breaking my lean frame in half. What an odd sight I must be. With my tummy being the only visual indicator of pregnancy. A symptom of being a shifter, I'd surmised. "Well, I'll stop rambling and let you get some rest. Goodnight Salia."

"Goodnight Edmond." With a heavy mind and heart, I returned to my bedroom.

Flour and sugar-dusted my fingers, tempting me to lick them clean, despite knowing Honey and I had more work to do.

"You're quite the baker for someone who has never done it."

I tilted my head to look at her as I rolled out the pie crust. "I don't quite recall my parents making sweets either." Recalling both my life in the Underground and the lie I'd told her, I tried to offer an explanation without giving much away. "After we were left homeless by the fall of Wall Maria, a nobleman liked me and my brother. Said if we worked for him, he'd keep us fed, clothed, and housed. Our parents knew we had a much higher chance of living with him than them. They got sent out to reclaim Wall Maria a few weeks later and like most, never came back." Glancing at her, a moment of guilt made me pause before I decided to end with a nugget of truth. "My brother and I worked in the stables for a few years together until he fell ill and passed away," I finished with a trembling gasp. Even in falsehood, I could never ignore the chasm of truth that's my brother's death and the resulting impact, but it'd be impossible to go into the details even if I wanted to confess my sin.

Honey gave me a moment to compose my emotions so they didn't overwhelm my entire being. She never pushed for explanations. Something I greatly appreciated, but also found myself bordering on too sensitive topics because of. Sentences that came out because of her silence and lack of judgment and questions. I just needed to keep my mouth shut, and within this peace, work quietly together, side by side. I started to gently press the crust into the corners of the dish as she stirred the chocolate filling. Watching her confident moves and decisions, I wanted to learn more from her in this pursuit. Maybe I'd be able to craft Levi a sweet treat someday. Not too sugary of course. A treat that'd pair perfectly with tea.

My heart winced in pain as I let images of past moments together rush over me, both comforting and causing an ache in my soul. All I wanted was to go home to him. Levi's my family. I'd never been away from him for so long, and I hated knowing the pain I must be causing because of my actions. Would it have been better to tell him? At least we'd faced the situation together, but this felt like a problem of my own. Naturally maybe, since it's my body that's been transformed into a nearly unrecognizable figure. I'm the vessel, now growing life.

"Here's the pudding," Honey said, a distant voice, barely in my sphere as I remained consumed in my thoughts of the past.

Concern remained in the back of my mind every day as I forged in the forest to fill both my time and belly because I didn't know how my being a Titan Shifter might affect the pregnancy. At the same time I was thankful for my abilities due to the ease it allowed me to stay alive, I constantly worried it's negatively impacting the little one. While I never experienced morning sickness or other symptoms, I'd slowly grown wearier over the months. Not a debilitating extent, just enough that I started to notice when I paused to catch my breath after climbing in the trees for fruit. That's the moment I knew I needed to search out the people to love the child.

"Saph?" Honey suppressed my continued repetitive motions of rolling back and forth.

Startled, I glanced at her and then looked down at my creation, thinking that's why Honey's talking to me. Oh no! I stretched the dough out too much. "Shoot. I'm so sorry."

"That's not it. Your water broke."

I glanced further down, past the obstruction and to my crotch. A good bit of liquid had begun to coat the inside of my right thigh and leg. "Huh?" Tilting my head up, I felt a sour feeling in my stomach at the sight of Honey frowning. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing! I'm just startled that you didn't notice any contractions."

"Is that a bad sign?" I asked as she began to guide me towards a guest bedroom.

She opened the door to a spacious room with a few items of clutter about. "Not at all. Just let me clean up these items off of the floor before you step in."

Sweat began to trickle down my shoulder blades as the reality of the situation began to cave in on me. Should I even look at the baby? Freud and Nolan will want to know their name as soon as they see me. I'd become complacent within this cozy environment. I'd started to relax and now this is it. This peace might be something I've never experienced before, but my heart still exists elsewhere. If my love for Levi didn't devour everything else, I might've left the Survey Corps since I'd developed such a fondness for this tiny being growing within.

"It's all ready for you now," Honey said as she situated the pillows for me to lean back against. "Please take your clothes off while I go grab you something to wear."

As soon as she left, I began undressing in a slow and methodical manner. My body foreign to not just the touch, but the inhabitation of it. I'd never felt so far apart from my physical being before. Even when I became conscious of my Titan self or my pregnancy, I still had a grounded sense of occupying a certain space. Now, I just felt like a bridge for another life to come forward. Not in a way where I'm being walked over, but I'm connected to something other than myself. That cord is what's bringing them to me now. A place I can now not just feel them within, but see my baby for the first time as well. A desperate craving that now possessed me. It wouldn't hurt to just see if they were alright? used, but Pulling my pants down is when I noticed the pink discharge in my underwear.

A gentle knocking yanked my attention to Honey as she peeked within to check on the state of my nudity. "May I come in?" Seeing my undergarments in the palm of my hand, she peered over my shoulder. "That's totally normal, Saph."

"Okay," I hesitantly murmured under my breath, knowing I'd have to trust her knowledge and experience within this. After grabbing the garment, I quickly slipped it on. The soft cotton tickled my arms, but almost no sensation seemed to be occurring beneath my waist. I stood at the foot of the bed, not knowing if I should confess to the numbness in my legs.

I gasped as Honey placed her hands on my cheeks to turn my face in her direction. "Saph. I know you're scared, but you got this! You're going to do great, and no matter what, I'm here to help you." She gave me a pat. "Now get in bed, and let's do this."

Crawling on top of the blankets, I felt my own consciousness begin to drift away from all my physical senses. Once my head hit the top of the pillow, I tenuously held onto a slight focus of my environment by deep breathing. Eyes half-lidded, few glimpses of Honey passed by in a haze, but it was the continual expansion and then decline of my ribs that my attention grasped onto.

"Have you felt any contractions yet?"

"No," I weakly whispered. A weariness continued to sap at my strength making it difficult to want to answer. "Is that a bad sign?"

A flicker of action caused me to widen my eyes slightly to watch Honey pat my ankle to comfort me. "Not at all, Sweetie. You don't need to start pushing hard right now, but it's going to need to happen soon."

I figured she saw my nod once she began to brush my hair with a few fingers. The slight attention felt incredibly nice at this moment. For a second, I worried she might pull away or start prompting me to talk, but she didn't pause nor ask anything of me. Scrunching up the blanket in my fists, I took the opportunity to find the most relaxing position. Once I settled into a nesting posture, I finally felt the desire to push. The excitement began to flicker but so did the anxiety. My anticipation to see my baby is only dampened by the knowledge they won't be with me completely anymore. I'd not feel the kicks and bumps as they swam in my depths. This little one obviously was ready to see the world, and I didn't want to stop them, but it'd be much harder to protect them. "I'm feeling the urge," I told Honey.

She beamed at me. "That's great! Let's start doing that then. Wait until I tell you to go," Honey assured me as she left my side to grab a stool in the corner. "Still not feeling any pain? In any part of your body?"

"No. A sensation of pressure once in a while, but mostly nothing." Pushing felt oddly natural. I'd worried that nothing would be simple, complicated by the fact I'm a Shifter, but it seemed to be helping me instead. Healing to prevent any pain. As long as nothing hurt the baby, I'd appreciate all the help I could get.

"You're doing wonderful, Saph. Just keep going."

"Okay," I groaned in concentration.

While ripples of agony didn't consume me during the long and arduous ordeal, I certainly felt exhausted. A state of being I hadn't encountered nearly as much since I became a Shifter, but it felt as if all my energy started slowly draining out of me since the beginning of my pregnancy. Fatigue suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Now, I would've collapsed if I hadn't already been lying down. All I could do was try and follow Honey's instructions. Edmond did appear at one point, with a bowl of water, a towel, and a few other items I didn't pay attention to. He left pretty quickly afterward, saying that Honey has all the experience when it comes to helping the birthing process.

Time stretched out as little occurred. The window to the room began to grow dark, and I wondered if Honey might need to take a break to get some sleep. "Do you need to take a nap?"

Her hand stretched out to pat my knee. I saw it more than felt the action due to my absolute ragged listlessness. My initial excitement had worn down to a threadbare desire to get the ordeal over with. "Look at you! Worrying about someone else when you're in the middle of birth." Leaning back to see my face, Honey gave a content smile. "You're not wailing in pain, so that makes this easier. Besides, we're approaching the last stage. The head is beginning to poke out, so the rest of the body will soon follow. Everything is looking great. You don't need to push as hard anymore."

"They'll be here soon?" I gasped as my nerves quivered in short bursts.

"Any minute now!"

A small cry split the air, and my heart stopped in an immediate response. "Are they okay?"

Honey seemed quite occupied with the little whimpering bundle for longer than I'd like. At least sounds were being emitted from their mouth, but I was still worried. Pure silence might've driven me insane. "Yep! Just getting the umbilical cord. You have a healthy boy," she confirmed as she approached my side. "Are you ready to hold him?"

I'd planned on saying no. Ask if she could give me a brief respite by leaving me alone in the room, so I could gather my energy and dip out before I faltered in my pursuit. But now, a worry started to itch in the back of my mind. One that prevented me from following through on my original plan. Creating a circle with my arms, I tried to emulate what I'd seen in my few experiences with infants. "Is this okay?" I asked, drenched in fear I'd somehow hurt the baby.

"You're a natural. Would you like to try breastfeeding him? We could partially unbutton the gown."

"Yes. I'd like that. Will you help me?"

Honey set the child in my arms before opening my nightgown to expose my chest. The plushness of the blanket she tucked him into felt nice against my bare skin. "Don't worry if it's not easy. I have to go back down to make sure the placenta comes next." She dashed back down to settle herself between my legs again.

Turning my attention to the warm weight in my hold, I lost my breath at the sight of the pink baby in front of me. Silence descended as my vision was consumed by each detail of the delicate bundle. His little fingers curled into a tight fist. A wrinkled button for a nose. Studying the characteristics of my son, I felt a wave of protectiveness settle into the marrow of my bones. I'd thought that my whole heart had been filled by having Levi in my life, but now it's like I'd grown a whole new one to adore this baby boy. My baby boy.

Then I noticed something that caused a bubble to form in my throat. I'd expected him to be hairless, but a tuft of black hair sat perched on top of his little head. Just like his father. As I raised him to my lips to kiss his cheek, a shock of the light caught the strands of hair better, revealing it to be slightly lighter than I originally thought at first. More dark chocolate than a moonless night. "Chaco," I tasted it out loud.

"That's a very cute name," Honey said as she entered back into the room.

I hadn't realized that she'd even left. Closing my legs, I now felt comfortable regarding her with slight suspicion. With my baby in my arms and wits about me, I could turn my attention to something that'd been nagging at me. "Thank you, but may I ask, how do you know the name Saph?"