Chapter 3: The Evil Racecar Driver

So our heroes were leaving Dairy Queen with Mr. Cape hopping in front of everyone else when he got ran over by a racecar. The racecar turned around and stopped in front of the others on top of Mr. Cape. The driver, who was a short toad, got out and took off his helmet. He had blue spots.

"I am Larry P. Eagle." The driver said.

"What's the P stand for?" Mr. Right asked curiously.

"Pineapple." Larry responded like it was a big secret.

"Your name is Larry Pineapple Eagle? Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" Ham laughed.

"Shut up! It's not funny! Now my business is this. I know Mario's teeth got stolen and it was hilarious! But some of his teeth are on a trophy that you win in a racecar race. So I'm just here to tell you so you can try to get them back. And to add some competition. I'm entering and I will definitely win so don't even try to come but I know you will so you can do that." Larry said.

"Okay thanks for the information so get ready to lose in that race." Kapp said enthusiastically.

"Not likely." And with that, Larry got back into his car and took off.

"Hey Mr. Cape, I'm glad you got hurt. It was funny!" Kapp said happily.

"Shut up." Cape said angrily.

"Okay, okay. So let's go build a racecar and enter the race." Kapp said.

"But we got a problem. We don't know where it is." Mrs. Left said.

"Good point." Mr. Right said. "Well I'm stumped."

Just then a flyer fell to the ground. Kapp hopped over and looked at it.

It read "Enter the Super Duper Grand Race of Ultimate Awesomeness! All you need is a driver, a pit crew, a car, and most importantly 2,000 coins! If you have all that you too can join this race!

It is a 501 lap race and first prize is 100,000 coins and a golden trophy that has a few of the great Super Mario's teeth that were stolen by the Koopa Troop monkeys. So you can join now! Yeah!

Just come to Mushroom City Motor Speedway and join the race!"

"So let's go!" Mr. Right said.

They all hopped to the Mushroom City Motor Speedway.

"Now we need a car." Ham said. "Any ideas?"

"I got an idea." Kapp said. "How about we steal Wario's pink car. I mean, he hardly ever uses it and it can go up to over 200 mph!"

"That's pretty good but how do you suppose we steal it?" Mrs. Left asked.

"All he needs is coins so we can give him counterfeit coins to buy it! It's the perfect plan!" Kapp screamed.

"Perfect! But won't he want revenge when he finds out we cheated him?" Mr. Cape asked about the only flaw in the plan.

"Yeah but when he finds out we'll be long gone with the trophy!" Kapp explained.

"So let's do it!"

Our heroes then went to Wario's house after making counterfeit coins.

"So Wario can we buy your car? We have 100,000,000,000 coins." Ham said as he held out his tongue which had the pile of coins.

Wario then smelt the coins before answering him. He smelt them thoroughly and then finally said "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"Yes but that's beside the point." Ham said with a smirk.

"Hey! Never mind! But these coins are fake! I should know because I can smell coins and tell if they are real or fake. And these are fake." Wario said.

"But what if you think that we think that you are an idiot if we give you what we think that you think are fake coins but they are really what you think is what we think real." Mr. Cape said.

"I'm confused. So I'll just take these coins and you can take my ride. But JUST for the race." Wario told them.

So they took Wario's car and repainted it. They painted a black 27 on it for the number and changed its tires. They finally finished making it and they took it to the race.

"So who is gonna drive?" Kapp asked.

"I vote Ham." Ham said.

"You are Ham." Mr. Right said.

"I know."

So Ham was the driver and everyone else was the pit crew. The race started and Larry took a quick lead. 500 laps later Larry was still in the lead and Ham was in dead last. He was only on lap 2. His car wasn't going very fast if you didn't get that.

"Come on Ham, you can win!" Kapp screamed with joy.

"No I can't I'm down by 498 laps with one lap left. I can't win!" Ham told him.

But just then Ham's car went into hyper mode and flew through a wormhole that sent him onto lap 500 right in front of the finish line. He flew by everyone else and won the race.

"Wow I won!" Ham said.

Larry got out of his car and ran up to Ham. "Hey I was supposed to win!"

"But that's just too bad. I won so you suck!" Ham shouted.

"But since I didn't win I've got to beat you to death with a golf club."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a hammer."

"You are?" Larry asked like Ham was stupid. Ham just shook his head and started beating Larry senseless.

Ham and the others got the trophy and put it in there new car. They drove off to Dairy Queen to get some ice cream without returning Wario's car. They stole his car. Tee hee.

End of chapter.

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