Chapter 5: Mega Mecha Turtle Iguana Mech

"So," Mr. Right was asking Ham in their car, "Where do we go next?"

"Well, we should go to the Koopa Kingdom. I mean, that's where the Koopa Troop is and where we can find out where the rest of the teeth are." Ham answered.

"Wow. Ham came up with a good idea. That's new." Mrs. Left joked.

"Hey!" Ham screamed.

"So let's go to the Koopa Kingdom! Yay!" Kapp screamed happily. "And maybe, just maybe, we can get King Bowser to eat Mr. Cape! That'd be great!"

"No it wouldn't!" Cape screamed back.

"Yes it would."

"No it wouldn't!"

"Yes it would!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Stop arguing!" Mrs. Left screamed. "The only thing we can argue about is best ice cream at Dairy Queen and anything else about Dairy Queen."

"Everybody shut up! I can't concentrate on the road!" Ham screamed angrily.

Everyone agreed and they drove for a few hours. A few more hours passed and they stopped at a gas station for gas.

"Why'd we stop?" Mr. Right asked.

"Why do you think? We need gas!" Ham answered.

So Ham put gas in the car and they all went inside.

"Ham." Kapp called. Ham ignored him. "Ham." Ham ignored Kapp again. "HAM!"

"What?" Ham asked angrily.

"Can I get some candy?" Kapp asked nicely.

"No!"

"Please."

"NO!"

"Pretty please with a pig on top!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Fine you don't have to yell." Kapp whined.

So they paid for the gas and walked outside. What they saw they couldn't believe.

"Hey! Wario is in our car!" Mr. Right yelled.

"You mean MY car." Wario said with an evil snare. "The one YOU stole. And now for that I will get my revenge! I stole a machine to fight you! Go Mega Mecha Turtle Iguana Mech!"

Just then a giant machine landed in front of Mario's equipment.

"It's half machine, half turtle, and half iguana!" Mr. Cape exclaimed in ear.

"That's too many halves!" Mr. Right yelled in fear.

"I want my mommy!" Ham screamed.

"Now you will fight a machine I stole from some dude named Professor E. Gadd!" Wario yelled.

"I'm scared." Kapp said cheerfully.

"Why do you seem so happy then?" Mrs. Left asked him.

"Because, I'm cool like that."

The machine held out his arm and slowly lowered it. It had hate in its mechanical eyes and an evil mechanical grin. Steam came from its mechanical mouth.

"Hi I'm Ernie." The machine said nicely. "Will you guys be my friends?"

Ham fainted.

"Get away you monster!" Cape said as he spit on the robot.

"Yeah! Please go away unless you want to get destroyed!" Kapp said as he jumped up and down cheerfully.

"You guys reject me! Everyone either rejects me or wants me to destroy something. And it makes me sad." Ernie cried mechanical tears.

"Shut up you stupid robot! You can't be sad because you got no emotions!" Cape screamed angrily.

"Stop being mean to me!" Ernie cried out.

"There, there, Ernie. I won't be mean to you." Mr. Right said nicely.

Ernie smiled. "You… you won't?"

"No, I won't be mean to you. I will just… be more than that! Die. Die! DIE! Die! DIE! DIE!" Mr. Right proceeded to jump up and down on his foot.

"Why is everyone mean to me? I never did anything to anybody." Ernie pouted.

Ham gained consciousness. Then he noticed something. Ernie had some of Mario's teeth in his eyes.

"Aw, it's okay, Ernie. Don't cry. They are just little meanies. I won't be a meanie as long as you… GIVE ME THE TEETH THAT ARE IN YOUR EYES!" Ham yelled.

"Oh, you mean these?" Ernie pulled the teeth out of his mechanical eyes. "Yeah some monkeys gave them to me and told me to guard them. Do you want them?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" ham screamed as jumped up and down and panted like a puppy.

"Well I'll give them to you if you do something for me. All you have to do is eat a bowling ball."

"Okay!" Kapp said. He grabbed a bowling ball and ate it. "Now give us the teeth you bug stupid robot!"

Kapp jumped up and bit Ernie's mechanical hand causing him to drop the teeth. Ham picked them up and put them in his pocket. Then Kapp flipped a switch on Ernie's back when shut him down.

"Now Wario, give us our car back!" Kapp screamed happily and also angrily.

"It is my car not yours!" Wario screamed.

"Then neither of us will have a car because I installed a remote detonator bomb on it. All I have to do it press this button and we all go boom." Kapp smirked.

"I don't wanna die!" Wario jumped out of the car and ran away.

"You installed a remote detonator bomb in his car while we were using it?" Cape asked Kapp.

"No. I was bluffing. Although I would like to put one of you and blow you up." Kapp said evilly but also happily.

Cape winced. So they all got back in the car and drove to Dairy Queen where they ate ice cream. Yay!