Ya know tha drill it's a Leo/Raph story so dun like dun read and NO flamers! It's my first story about them two.
Oh and the chars aint mine but we all knew that T.T
div align="center" bNecessary mistake /b /div
(Raph)
Ok. I have done a lot of stupid shit in ma life, usually cuz I defy orders an let ma I'temper'/I get tha better o me, say things I dun mean, aaaaan so on!
But this time it was supposed ta be different! I mean wasn't it natural ta ask fer help when ya have a problem? Ya know, confide in someone an stuff?
I mean, I was only askin Sensei for some advice cuz I've been livin with this I' 'feelin' /I fer a long time now an it's been gettin worse specially tha last few days an I just couldn't take it anymore! I needed ta get this off ma chest! Ta get some's advice, some pointers as ta what Imma supposed ta I'do!'./I And I knew there were a lot of reactions I coulda expect from this kinda confession, but… ta think my own fatha would go this far… did not even enter ma mind… I mean I expected em ta get mad or something like tha, but this? Nah, neva… so by tha time I told em, it had already been too late.
(Leo)
Today has been a fairly normal day, well as far as you can consider us normal.
We had our morning training, ate breakfast, did our chores, goofed around and had gone on our nightly patrol. So, with nothing left to do we just went about what was left of our day by doing whatever we felt like doing.
For me that meant siting under the tree in the dojo as I try to Meditate and rethink on the events of our day, or couple days actually… Raph has been acting rather odd lately, even more so than usual I mean. He has been spacing off more than Mikey does, he even tripped over his own two feet! Twice! And he managed to walk straight into an antenna while we were running across the rooftops today. Talk about being clumsy! That's, well, Aprils job!
"I've got ya now Donny!" A loud battle cry booms around the dojo as I hear Mike's Kusarigama zip through the air and slam against Don's staff with a Thunk. I had almost forgotten my two youngest brothers were sparring in here whilst I tried to meditate.
Well I can't really say sparring as in practice, but more like trying to win a bet. It's pretty well known the two of them hate training and avoid the dojo as much as they can. So, to have the two of them in here for a bet is pretty strange. Don and Mike apparently agreed that the loser would do the others chore for one day, I think? To be honest Though, I just think Mike is just trying to get out of dojo clean-up tomorrow.
"I don't think you will Mikey, I am pretty sure you will be the one to do my chore tomorrow!" There it is! Though I don't know why Don would make that bet. He only has kitchen clean up and believe me, that is NOT a lot of work, at all. Mike strongly believes that food may never go to waste and dishes must get cleaned up immediately after dinner and what happens if you forget? Well, let's just say Mikey does know how to be scary…
My eyes suddenly snap open and I manage to move my head just in time to feel Donny's staff staff zip past my face and slam against the tree trunk right besides my head. It bounces off my shoulder, clatters against the floor and gently rolls back against my knee, innocently resting there as if nothing happened.
All three of us blink, looking at the staff with wide eyes before two pair of eyes snap towards me. I blink dumbly and lift my gaze towards my brothers wondering how they managed to nearly hit me in the face with a bow staff. I am about to ask said question when mike snaps out of his stupor, shakes his head and looks at me in horror.
"Woah, Don you nearly killed him!" And before I know what's happening, Mikey is behind my shell, arms around my neck and his cheek nuzzling the back of my head as if am about to die. Don merely seems to look at him in irritation.
"I did not! That was entirely your fault! Besides, there was not enough force to do any actual damage, not to mention it is a blunt object and therefore cannot cause any lethal harm while merely flying through the air at such a low velocity." Don signs, mentally counting to ten, or a hundred, you never know.
He scratchs the back of his head and gives me a sheepish smile, quickly mumbling a small sorry while pointing his finger towards our youngest brother and mouthes I'His fault'/I.
Said accused turtle finally releases my neck and jumped back over to Don, poking a finger accusingly against his plastron and pouts.
"Yeah it can! Your staff totally has a knife thingy in there!" The orange turtle stops for a second to think his accusation over and turns to frown at said staff, before he blinks and turns back towards his purple brother. "…Right?"
A look of surprise crosses Don's expression before he slams his hand against his own forehead in clear amazement at his brother.
My eye twitches and I glare at the both of them. I mean seriously?! I was lucky enough to have been pulled out of my trance before that thing went flying or I could have actually hit me! I just want to meditate!
I let my hand fall from its position on my knee and gently wrap it around Don's forgotten staff, silently moving it around so I could get a better grip on it.
"A knife thingy? Really Mikey? It's a-"
BITWAK!/I/B
The staff zoomed across the room and managed to hit both turtles against the cheek before helplessly tumbling back towards the floor.
Two green heads snap towards me so fast I hardly saw them move, blinking as if trying to figure out exactly what I'd just done. I was still in my lotus position outside of my left arm that I had used to throw the staff across the dojo and was now aimlessly hanging in the air without said staff.
Frozen in shock, eyes as big as dinner plates, they blink and slowly shift their eyes down to look at the staff laying innocently on the floor.
"Looks like your right Donny, it really didn't do much damage I probably should have used more force." I shrug my shoulders and smirk at their bewildered expressions, it doesn't last long though. The two of them growl before charging at me, yelling: "LEO!"
Instantly I push myself up from the floor and into the tree in order to doge my bothers. I manage to look down just in time to see Mikey slam face first into the tree trunk and Donny coming to a stop mere inches from doing the same.
I can't help but laugh as I watch Mike sit down and rub his forehead, a big pout already pointed at Don who merely covers his mouth, trying to stifle his own laugh. Mike takes a moment to redirect his pout towards me before succumbing to his own laughter.
Once the three of us manage to finally stop laughing do I deem it safe to drop down from my perch. Offering my hand towards my baby brother I help him back up on his feet and quickly examine his forehead just in case he managed to injure himself after all. I smiled once I spot no damage outside of a small bruise.
Mike lightly punches my shoulder in revenge and sticks out his tongue before scanning the dojo in search of his Kusarigama. Don merely shrugs at me, muttering a small 'deserved that' and smiles as he turned around to fetch his abused staff.
I can't help but think of our missing brother for a moment. It is a shame Raphael missed this. He would have loved to have witnessed this.
Mike grins as he picks his kusarigama off the floor and retakes his stance. " C'mon Don! I didn't win the bet yet!" Said turtle only laughs, making his way over to Mikey. "Who said you were going to win? I definitely did not-"
Donny iscut short as our attention immediately snaps towards the entrance of the dojo. Sensei's voice booms through the lair like lightning.
"You are a BDisgrace/B to this family, Raphael!" The yell is followed by what sounds like someone getting hit. The three of us are out and into the living room just in time to see our brother fly through father's shoji and land in the pit with a loud smack.
I am about to run towards my injured brother when the broken shoji slams open and Splinter steps through. His piercing gaze lands on Raph before it snaps towards us with a glare, freezing us on the spot.
Never in my life have I seen master Splinter this angry, at least not towards any one of us, but seeing him glare at us like this, scares me. It's when I notice the rage and disgust aimed at my brother that I felt more confused than ever and I can't figure out why, what could Raphael have done to deserve this?
A gasp escaped Mike as he and Don stand besides me looking just as horrified as I am.
Raphael groans and lifts himself up on one arm, the other wraps itself protectively around his stomach where sensei had most likely kicked him. His form is shaking even as he lifts his head to turn wide green eyes towards out sensei, allowing us a good view of the bruise forming on his cheek. I flinch, realizing it must have been from the hit we heard earlier.
Splinter's breathing is forced, coming out in harsh exhales. His shoulders are shaking in repressed anger, hands balled so tightly the knuckles most likely turned white under all the fur, but what was worse was the fury aimed towards my brother.
I can't understand any of this, what is happening?!
"You have been nothing but trouble for years now and we have forgiven you too many times! This disgusting secret you have bestowed upon me is where I will draw the line once and for all!" There is no mercy as I see a flash of finality flash through his eyes and he lifs his paw in the direction of the lairs entrance. "Raphael, I will give you no more than 10 minutes to collect your belongings and leave this family, before I throw you out myself!"
I freeze, knowing full well what that means. I want to speak up, to my brother's rescue, but I can't seem to find my voice. I can merely watch as my red banded brother manags to push himself back up onto his feet, eyes wide with disbelief and terror. "W-What?! Y-Ya can't do that!" He takes a step towards our father, but flinches and steps back as our father's glare seems to intensify.
"Now, Raphael! Do not make me repeat myself!" Splinter expression is impassive as Raph stares at him in horror as realization sinks in, our father is serious. Raph wastes no time, He turns around and dashes towards his room, disappearing into the hallway before any of us could even utter a single word.
Behind me I could hear Mike and Don gasp in terror and I know the three of us are looking at sensei as if he just lost his mind and as far as we know, he has.
I growl loudly and step further into the pit, coming to a stop a couple foot away from him at what I hope would be a safe distance. I glare at the side of our father' s head, but he doesn't seem to notice me.
His gaze fixated on the hallway before him, the one leading towards our sleeping quarters, the one Raphael disappeared into. His arms cross before his chest and he seems to be counting while impatiently waiting for my brother to finish packing.
The thought of my brother leaving, thrown out like this... it's...
Infuriating.
I yelled at my father before I even realized it.
"What the hell is going on?!" My voice is harsh, just like sensei's had been and it's terrifying to know my voice could sound like that, but at the same time it's satisfying to watch his attention snap towards me with such shock.
I was never one to curse, not to mention question my father' s orders, but BNO ONE/B hurts my brothers! Not like this! And especially not without one hell of a good reason! I hardly doubt that whatever Raph has done or said deserves this treatment.
Splinter however is not happy about my outburst once the chock wears off, but seems to let it go in order to glance at his watch before returning his attention back to the hallway. "Do not interfere Leonardo. This is not your battle." His words are meant to be final, but I am absolutely not going to let this go!
"It definitely is when my brother is involved!" I was going to demand answers, but Mike seems to beat me to it. The youngest steps forward, obviously as angry as I am, but the underlying fear was unmistakable. A quick glance at Don shows the feeling is mutual.
"You can't throw him out! What does that even mean?!" Mike is doing the best he can to keep himself together, but flinches and unconsciously takes a step back as our father turns his glare towards my baby brother. Donny instinctively steps in front of him, placing a hand on his shaking shoulder and shielding him from our father.
"That, Michelangelo, means that your brother has been disowned from this family and has been banished from our home." It is incredible how he can make something so awful sound so casual, as if it happens every day and that scares me for some reason.
B"WHAT?!"/B The two of them all but scream their disapproval, but sensei doesn't seem to care at all, he merely glances at the clock and back towards the hallway again.
"You cannot just do something like that! He is our Brother! Do we not have a say in this?!" I have never seen Donnie lose his cool as badly as he did when he just screamed that. Fists clenched and eyes furious, glaring at our sensei's head. He looks as if Sensei has completely lost his mind, but then again, I think we all do.
Splinter looks back at us again, glaring sternly at Donatello. "I am the head of this clan Donatello. I decide what happens within this clan and my decisions are final." The glare does not waver, not even when Don flinches and takes a step back, forcing a trembling Mikey further behind him.
Seeing this, only fuels my own anger and I make my way forward, successfully drawing Splinters attention away from my brothers.
"That still doesn't give you the authority to kick him out like this!" Sensei's glare meets mine, but it doesn't matter. Glaring has not affected my for years now. Living with my hot headed brother makes me practically immune to them now, not to mention all the bad guys we've fought over the years, they all seem very fond of glaring.
I can see a flash of annoyance flash across his features and I know our defiance is not appreciated, I guess he didn't expect this to become such a hassle.
"W-What d-did he even d-do, for you t-to throw him out like th-is?!" I could practically hear the tears streaming down Mike's face, but I can't allow myself to break eye contact in fear of him refocusing on them. My job as leader is to protect them, no matter the threat.
"Michelangelo is right. If you are really going to make him leave then we have the right to know why!" Donatello's voice sounds tough, but the slight tremor in his voice was unmistakable. I can sense sensei's attention slip, but manage to hold his gaze long enough for him to give up trying to silently intimidate me. He glowers at my determination, but turns back towards the hallway either way.
"Your brother has asked me for guidance and permission to court another male! A sin I cannot and will not excuse." My eyes widen in complete surprise and I am pretty sure all three of us look towards the hallway in shock, I never even knew Raphael was interested in anyone, let alone a male! I sign in relief, I thought It was something terrible! But this? This wasn't bad at all. Raphael finding someone he really likes is a good thing, no matter the gender!
That made me happy for a moment. At least until reality dawned on me and I realized exactly what was happening.
"Are you KIDDING me?! You're kicking Raph out because he's gay? How dare you!" How can our father do this? Is he really going through with this because Raph prefers men?
I stand there, trying to gather my thoughts, to figure how I can fix this mess, but I can't. I don't know what to do.
"Y-You can't be serious…" Mike's voice is a mere whisper, but I hear it loud and clear.
"You cannot punish him for falling in love! Did you not once tell us that love is a blessing?" Don's voice sounds tough and determined as moves towards me, abandoning Mikey in favour of grabbing my shoulder and shaking it roughly. I snap out of my thoughts and look at my brother, but his attention isn't on me. It's on Splinter
It is strange and unnatural so watch him glare at our father like this, but it helps me get my head back together as I too, turn my attention on Splinter.
"Not to mention how it can happen in mysterious ways. Isn't that true, or have you just been lying to us?" Splinter scowls at me, eyes closed in frustration.
"I have never lied to you my sons and I will stand by what I had spoken at the time, but that does not stop the fact that homosexuality is unnatural, not to mention, very wrong. Therefor your brother must be punished." I can't believe it; our father is going to destroy our family over this?
I am not going to let this happen!
I close my eyes and made a B line to stand in front of our father. Letting out a deep sigh, I calm myself as best as I can and pull my 'fearless leader' mask in place before opening my eyes and leveling my father with a steady gaze.
"There is nothing wrong about Raphael's feelings. We are mutants that live in secret and hide within the sewers, we don't know a lot of people that trust and accept us for what we are. For any of us to find someone; anyone; who isn't scared by the mere sight of us is though. So, punishing him for finding and falling for someone is just plain wrong."
Splinter looks at me as if I've grown a second head and is about to lecture me about how wrong that statement must have been, but didn't. I takes me no more than a second to realize why as I hear the tell-tale footsteps of Raphael's feet running through the hallway. I turn my head to find him running towards the exit, his head down and a duffle bag flung across his shoulder.
I have never seen my hotheaded brother look this frightened and I don't like it, at all. I have to stop him! I'm not going to just let him leave!
Without thinking I turn my body to face him and, using the best leader voice I could muster, call out his name. He slows down and I steady my gaze as he lifts his head up enough to look me in the eye. "Don't you dare leave this lair. You are not going anywhere you hear me?"
After years of fighting together as the leader of this team, it has become second nature for them to follow orders given by me as their leader, even though they've disobeyed them enough in the past. And as panicked as Raphael's mind is at the moment, the order bypasses his brain and hi body instinctively comes to a stop.
His green eyes lock onto mine, full of surprise and terror. He opened his mouth and immediately closes it, his bottom lip trembles as he tries to force the words out and it takes him a few seconds and I can't help but growl when he does.
"L-Leo. I-I'm sorry. I g-gotta go." It pains me to see him this way, especially as he tries to sound reassuring even though he is falling apart in front of us. It's obvious how the thought of leaving us is destroying him from the inside, but he isn't fooling anyone.
I will not let Splinter Kick him out! He is part of this family, our lives, our team! Whatever sensei says doesn't matter, WE NEED HIM, II/I need him!
Although fear always wins over a panicked mind and with one glance at sensei's direction Raph's instincts tells him the only way to escape is to follow father's orders. So, with a pained expression, he turns and bolts for the door.
Panicked, I turn towards my two youngest brothers for some kind of idea and the second my eyes meet Mike's soft blue ones I knew and so had he. I only managed to get Mike's name past my lips before he was off. The orange banded ninja bolts forward, detaching his kusarigama and swinging the chain towards Raphael.
It easily tangles itself around the turtle's waist, pinning his arms against his sides. Though it successfully captured him, I did not keep him still.
Father's attention immediately snaps towards me and he growls low in his throat. "I told you not to interfere Leonardo! Do not make this any harder than it has to be." His furious eyes glare into mine, but quickly snap back towards Raphael, who was fighting against the chains in a futile attempt to free himself.
I don't know what Splinter is planning, but I have to stop him now before he makes things worse.
I stride in between him and Raph, successfully halting father's next attempt at removing my brother. I take a moment to calm my emotions, trying to keep the 'fearless leader' in place for a little longer. Thankfully, it only takes a few seconds and I once again catch Splinter's eyes with my steady gaze.
"Raphael is not leaving Splinter. He is staying right here, where he belongs. Raph is our brother and we love him,Inothing/I is going to change that." I can sense Don and Mike step up behind me as if to prove my point and support my decision. That's when the lair falls silent, Splinter looks at us in shock and anger, it is obvious he doesn't know how to react to this, but I'm sure it isn't going to last for long.
So, I take this moment of silence to look behind me and check in on my brothers. Mike and Don's focused and controlled gazes are on me, ready to react at a moment's notice should it be necessary and I feel a sense of pride run through me at their dedication to our team, our family.
I let my gaze slide past them and connect with the emerald green of my immediate younger brother. He finally stopped struggling and is silently watching me with wide and surprised eyes, no longer scared or terrified, but grateful and something else that I could not quite place.
He opens his mouth as to say something, but before he can the silence is already broken by an angry huff and I reluctantly tear my gaze from Raphael to turn back towards Splinter.
"You will not feel that way once you find out, Leonardo. Falling in love with a male is one thing, but to-" Splinters voice sounds rough and controlled, a last resort and he knows it, he is going to
expose all Raph's secrets in a last resort to change my mind, but I'm not having it.
I said goodbye to the sense of control I managed to maintain until now as the fury finally wins this battle and I snap.
"STOP! You do not have the RIGHT to call him out for something as stupid at this, let alone for you to expose whoever it is that he has fallen for! And to call him a Idisgrace/I on top of that?! How DARE you?! Raph is by no means a disgrace! The fact that he would even ask Ianyone/I for help; on his Iown/I; shows that he truly cares about this guy!" I Don't even care that I'm yelling, Splinter has gone too far and I will protect my brother even if it's the last thing I do! "And if anyone is going to tell us who he is, it'll be Raphael himself when he is damn good and ready to do so!"
Splinter's eyes flash, expression going manic and I feel a shiver run down my spine nearly forcing me to take a step back, but I manage not to show any discomfort and manage to stand my ground.
"How dare you defy your SENSEI! I should-" I take a set forward and growl in frustration, how many times do I have to repeat myself before he gets the message?
"You are not our sensei nor our father anymore, ISplinter/I. A true sensei wouldn't disrespect his students like this, nor would he care whether his students are gay or not. So, unless Raphael is planning to confess his undying love to the Shredder, I'd have to say that it's none of our concern what he does with his personal life!" The venom in my voice kept Splinter from replying and I turn my back to him so I can properly face my brothers, knowing full well Mike and Don will keep at least one eye on Splinter just in case.
As I expected, Only Raph's eyes are focused on me as both Don and Mike keep their main focus on Splinter, but the small tilt of their heads tell me they are most defiantly focused on me. They two had moved closer to Raphael, most likely due to Splinter's more manic reaction. I smile mentally, knowing full well it had been an unintentional move to protect the other should a fight break out and considering he's still wrapped up with Mike's chains it was a good precaution.
Making my final decision, I turned to Don first. "Donatello, get Raphael to the kitchen and help him calm down." Next, I turn towards Mickey. "Michelangelo please place his belongings back where they belong and join them in the kitchen when you're finished." And last but not least my eyes went to Raphael, I gave him a small smile and mouthed a small 'It's going to be okay' as Mike turns on his heels, pulling on his kusarigama to release Raph from the chains and taking the duffel bag from the turtle's shoulder and dashes off into the hallway.
Donny cautiously moves the last three steps backwards, eyes fixed on Splinter over my shoulder as he grabs Raph's wrist. However before he can do anything else Splinters voice thunders across the lair. "They will do no such thing!" He yells in a futile attempt to regain his lost control, eyes fixated on Raphael as he moved towards him. "Your 10 minutes are long since over Raphael, leave at once!" His outburst causes both Don and Raph to freeze up. And I did the only thing I could do at that moment.
I yell Don's name loudly as I unsheathe my katana. It was pure luck that Don jumped back into action as if jolted by electricity and quickly bolted towards the kitchen, Dragging a frozen Raphael along by the wrist.
The old rat cried out, dashing forward in order to follow them, but before I knew it my precious katana hit the ground at his feet with a deafening thud forcing him to stop in his tracks. His wide eyes focus on my katana in pure shock and to be honest… so were mine…
I stood there frozen, staring at my katana, now embedded into our floor a couple feet away. I could not believe I had just done that, for years I had scolded my brothers to not throw their weapons and here I am… I hadn't even thought about throwing it, wasn't even sure what I was supposed to do when it just... happened.
I was aware of Splinter's eyes leaving the blade and moving towards me, but I was too stunned at my own actions to move and do the same. Not that it mattered, the air in the pit had drastically shifted.
I did see Mike's stiletto shoot across the room from the corner of my eye and it forced me to shake my head.
Slowly I move myself upright and cautiously shift my gaze towards Splinter.
It seems he has been waiting for me to do so as he begins to speak almost immediately after my gaze meets his. "I cannot believe my greatest student has defied my orders, Leonardo-"
"But I can." I seem to have lost all my energy, voice devoid of emotion as I cut him off. My eyes leave his and fall onto my wayward katana once more, gaze unfocussed. It was all too much… "You were a great sensei, Splinter. However, my brother's wellbeing will always stand before your orders." With that I close my eyes and wait for the one response I know is coming, the one I have always feared would come from him.
"You have disappointed me greatly my son." I can't stop the heavy flinch even after I had tried to prepare myself for it, my biggest fear has always been to disappoint my father, but I had never imagined it to have been like this, it raises so many mixed emotions. The disappointment hurt, but after everything that had just happened, it felt more… surreal?
I am not quite sure what I'm feeling at this moment, but the moment the word son leaves his mouth... somehow, anger is the only thing I felt. The way he says feel as if he is trying make to me feel disappointed in myself for defying his orders and protecting my brother. Like he is trying to regain my loyalty…
"Do not call me your son!" My head snaps up, showing no emotion as I look him straight in the eye and unsheathe my second katana. "We have already showed you our answer regarding your decision and if you cannot accept us for who we are then it is you who has to leave."
And that is it… Just like that Splinter steps back and turns around. He doesn't even look over his shoulder as makes his was towards the lair's exit. "As you wish, Leonardo. Just remember, you will one day see this for what it truly is, Leonardo. A sin."
with that he disappears, leaving me standing there, horrified at his abrupt abandonment. I didn't expect him to just walk away like that, he didn't take anything with him, didn't even look back!
Dejected, I make my way towards my lone katana and pull it from the floor. My eyes examine it for any damage, but it seems to be perfectly fine. I catch a glimmer of my own conflicted expression and promptly sheathe the blade, staring aimlessly at the hole in the floor instead.
I feels like hours passed before I finally manage to lift my head and make the mistake of glancing at the lairs exit. So many emotions are running through my head, I mean I just KICKED our father out! How was I supposed to feel at this point?! Confused? Angry? Disappointed?
I shake my head and make my way towards the kitchen. Trying desperately to regain my composure before facing m brothers.
"Love is not and will never be a sin."