Necessary mistake ch3
(Raph POV.)
Well considerin tha fact that Leo twistin his ankle was ma fault an seein as he was bringin me breakfast, it was only nice ta help em get back into tha livin room, but that didn't mean It was easy fer me ta do! havin Leo so close ta me was plain torture! Tha feel of his muscled arm against ma neck an shoulder an tha closeness of it all was seriously gettin ta me, how tha hell does he feel so warm anyway?
Sides tha fact that Mike an Don were laughin at us didn't make it any easier, but It did give me a good reason ta drop Leo on tha chair so I could crack ma knuckles an glare at em, threatenin ta beat em! That got em ta shut up an I could finally clear ma head for a sec… Didn't help much though…
I sat down on tha couch next ta Leo an crossed ma arms, waitin for someone ta tell me what we were supposed ta be doin, cuz I aint gonna be sitting ere doin nuthin!
I did not have ta wait long though, as Mike flew up ta get some random board game April had gotten us a while back, set it out on tha floor and usher us from tha couch ta gather round next ta it. We played tha game for a little until we grew tired of it an switched to another one.
Tha four of us ended up playin a few board games for an hour or two, until April an Casey finally showed up. They didn't ask any unnecessary questions, as they'd promised Don, but that didn't keep Casey from glarin at me, hopin I'd spill. Thank god Leo noticed it an hit em! Ya shoulda seen his face! Hilarious!
Anyhow, they didn't seem ta mind Don an Mike's relationship much, just asked em a couple of simple questions an that was it. Kinda gave me a little hope bout ma own situation.
We had sorta gotten to tha agreement ta have a random movie marathon tonight so Don an Mike had stood up ta gather all tha movies we had an came back with a whole box of em, didn't know we had that many! I mean seriously how did we get all those?
Know what else I didn't know? That picking a random movie meant that Mike was gonna throw em all at me! I mean really?! They all clattered to tha ground an a couple of em hit me right on ma feet!
I growled an bent down tha grab one of em an threw it straight at the knucklehead, hittin em right in tha face! Ha! Serves em right!
Casey was laughin his ass off of course, Leo an April merely shook their heads an Don sighed as he bend down ta grab tha CD cover that had once again fallen to tha floor an flipped it over so he could read tha title. He smiled slightly as he turned it around so we could read it too. Looks like we'll be watchin 'fifth element' first.
So after deciding that, we all sat down round tha TV with Casey takin claim of tha beanbag an pullin April with em so she'd be sittin on his lap, Mike gathered a couple a pillows an threw em onta tha floor so he could pull Don down next ta him without tha guy complainin bout tha hard surfacce an that kinda left Leo an me on tha couch together, a little to close… Maybe I shoulda left a little more space… Seein as I sat down after em…
The movie wasn't too bad an tha side comments everyone threw in made tha whole thing a hell of a lot better! Even Leo had a couple a good ones! An we were just gettin ta his part where tha girl got in trouble when Mike jumped up all of a sudden, turned round ta look at Donny an got down onta one of his knees, stretched his arms out and dramatically quoted some dramatic line from one of his comics: "Don't worry princes! I'll save you!"
Don's face heated up like crazy! I swear he got as red as ma mask! He was lookin at us from tha corner of his eye, guess he's hopin we didn't pay em any attention. Tough luck Donny-boy! Cuz we all burst out laughing, well outside of Don of course, he just pulled Mike back down an hit em on tha back of his head. He is so easy ta embarrass!
It wasn't until everyone started ta quiet down that I looked at tha two couples an I felt kinda… envious… Tha four of em looked really happy together an I couldn't help but feel tha need ta have a relationship like that too. Of course I already knew who I wanted ta be with, but… he'd never feel tha same way though.
I glanced over ta Leo from tha corner of ma eye just in case anyone was lookin, he was laughin at some remark someone made. He looks really good when he laughs, makes em look more relaxed and happy, sounds nice too… I love it when he laughs, just makes me wanna kiss em…Why does ma head feel so hot?
I looked back over to tha others noticin how they were all cuddled up ta each other, it sure looks nice. Looking back at Leo, I started wonderin what it would feel like ta have em as ma mate, ta share tha same bed an wake up together every mornin, ta kiss em whenever I felt like it, ta cuddle up on tha couch like tha others…
I was snapped outta ma thoughts at Casey's loud cheerin, only ta realise I was mere inches away from grabbin Leo's hand! OH GOD! I quickly pulled ma hand back an looked back at tha TV. They were fightin, which explains Casey's perfect timin! An thank god for that! This coulda ended badly!
"Oh yeah! Go get em dude!"
Not wanting ta raise suspicion, I joined Casey in his loud cheerin an I think it was workin cuz Mike seemed ta join in, but tha others just kinda rolled their eyes at us. An no, I did not blush when Leo chuckled! But damn, did that sound cute! An then realisation bit me in tha ass… again… as much as I don't want Leo ta start hatin me I wasn't able ta keep this a secret much longer. I need ta tell em. Even if it's gonna make things awkward between us, but I dun think I can…
We had all sat back down tha watch tha last couple a minutes of tha movie an then Mike had jumped up to challenge Casey for a spar yelling somethin bout bein 'so much better then you!' an of course Casey wasn't goin ta let tha kid get away with that so they ended up chasin each other to tha dojo.
April decided it would be a good idea ta make some snacks for ta next movie, cuz she didn't trust Mikey's 'special' snacks, not that any of us did, an disappeared into tha kitchen. Don thought it best ta use our little break ta continue workin on god knows what an left for his lab, leavin me alone with Leo… this cannot end well.
"You alright Raph?" I actually jumped at tha sound of his voice! What tha hell?! I turned ma head round ta face em, he looked kinda concerned...Uh …What did he ask again?...
"Huh?" Realisin I had zoned out, leo chuckled an repeated tha question. damn… "OH! Yeah, I'm good." It was a lie… Can't really tell em I'm feelin lonely, nor can I tell em ma feelins are gettin harder ta control… An I think he's seein right through tha lie… Leos eyes narrowed a little before he seemed ta realise somethin. Shit…
"Must be hard to see them be a lovey-dovey, right?" He asked as he leaned back on tha couch, watchin me carefully as I signed an looked over at tha dojo door.
"Meh… S' not that bad. I'm glad for em." An I was, everyone should have someone right? just glad tha four of em aint alone anymore, to bad I aint that lucky. Though Leo's chuckle did make me somewhat happy an he might not be my mate, but I'm glad were at least friends… well kinda… with all tha fightin we do…
"Of course, it's nice to know they've found someone." He looked rather happy knowin tha four of em were happy, it's a nice sight.
"Yeah…" Damn! I really, really, REALLY just wanna kiss em! An I would've if I wasn't so damn sure he'd hit me.
"Don't worry Raph." Leo sat up straight again an tapped ma knee in encouragement. "I'm sure your crush will love you back." He gave me a reassurin smile, but it wasn't really workin an I couldn't help but look a little sceptical at em. He wouldn't say that if he knew it was him!
"Oh really? And how're ya so sure bout that?" Leo rolled his eyes at tha reply, guess he musta seen that one comin.
"Oh come on Raph! You're a great guy, anyone would be lucky to catch your eye." Aaaaand hello blush! That was… really…nice… Ah damn Raph! get it together man!
"PFFFF. As if! Freaked out s' more likely." I Shook ma head an crossed ma arms as I replied with tha only thin that's been goin through ma head bout me confessin, what I was totally sure was goin ta happen. Leo frowned at me as I said it though, guess he didn't like me thinkin like that.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. I mean yeah you might seem rough but we all know you can be very kind to the ones you care about." Oh for tha love of god! Stop bein so nice! I fuckin hate blushin! I quickly moved ma head away in embarrassment, hopin ta god Leo didn't see ma blush!
"Sides seeing as you were more than willing to ask for help is more than enough proof to know you really like him." Oh yeah an that went perfect! I coulda been kicked out inta tha sewer if it wasn't for tha three of em! Sides it's not like he's magically goin ta like me cuz I asked Splinter fer help, though that would be great!
"Just cuz I was askin fer help doesn't mean he'll like me back! Sides… knowing me I'll be more likely ta screw it up anyhow." Total truth… probably should not have said that… He 'tsked' as he shook his head.
"Oh please, now you are just looking for excuses." Excuses?! It's tha fuckin truth! He looked unimpressed as I glared at em, but then again when hasn't he?
"I'm pretty sure you'll be a great mate." I froze up for a sec there… Me? A great mate? Yeah right! tha only thin I do is fight an disappoint.
"Tsss. Didn't peg ya for a liar Leo." I had turned ma glare towards tha TV, cuz I dunno know why but that really pissed me off fer some reason even though he totally meant it as a good thing. unfortunately I'd totally missed tha glare Leo send me as he roughly punched ma shoulder, successfully knockin ma off tha couch. Well that's embarrassin! I could only blink at tha angry Leo. Oohps…
"I am not lying Raphael! I meant it! You being insecure about this just proves that! Besides, if you went as far as to ask for help then these feelings are getting harder for you to control." I jumped up from tha ground an glared at em an growlin angrily. How dare he call me insecure!
Leo signed heavily an rubbed a hand across his face. "Listen, If you ever feel like you want to talk about this then I'm sure Don won't mind helping you." Like I'm goin ta as ya fer help outta ma own free… huh? Did he just say Don? Whoa that's new!
"Donny? Not gonna offer yer own advise Mr. Perfect?" Seriously?! Here is Leo, doin his absolute best ta help me with somethin he aint very good with an I just have ta insult em… good goin Raph! Ah fuck, he looks hurt too!
"Oh come on Raph, we both know I suck at things like this, but I am trying my best!" I looked at tha ground… feelin disappointed at maself. I know he's right, he's never been good at givin advice when it came ta these kind of situations. He always tries ta avoid em or shove em towards someone else who does know what they're talkin bout.
"I know… I'm sorry Leo." I guess that kinda caught him off guard, seein as he's lookin at me with these wide an surprised eyes…
"Uh… It's alright, I understand. Just remember that Don is in a relationship with Mike so he won't be judging you no matter who it is." He stuttered a little as he gave me tha advice, guess ma apology really did throw em off guard…
Maybe I should talk ta Don… He might know what I'm supposed ta do at this point, though I kinda doubt he'd like me gunnin for our leader…
"Guess yer right… Uh… Thanks, Leo." I scratched tha back of ma neck as I serioulsy considered Leo's idea.
"No problem, just hope I could be of some help." Leo patted ma shoulder an smiled kindly before turnin his attention towards tha kitchen where April had gone.
"Well I should go help April with the snacks." He stood up, but didn't walk away yet. He just looked towards tha dojo fer a minute, mutterin ta emself.
"And it looks like those two won't be done for a while. I'll have to keep an eye on them." He might have been mutterin ta emself but I kinda got tha feelin he was hintin me ta visit Don before they'd finish…
I just watched Leo hobble off towards tha kitchen before lookin at tha lab, weightin ma options for a moment. I could give it a try… He can't judge me for likin Leo… that'd be hypocritical, right?! but then again… He's our leader…
I groaned as I got up an Stomped ma way to tha labs door, pokin ma head in just in case Don wasn't here an curse ma luck as I saw em behind his desk. I quickly knocked on tha door before I lost ma nerve an ran off.
I had ta keep maself from laughin as tha genius jumped an looked towards me, totally surprised. Oohps guess he'd been a little too focussed on whatever he's doin. He smiled an waved me over, so I closed tha door behind me an locked it before walkin towards em. Can't have any of tha others listenin in!
"Oh hey Raph! You okay? You look a little irritated." Oh great! Why does he have ta be so observant?
"S' cuz I am." He laughed at ma expression an pointed to tha chair on tha other side of his desk, hopin I'd sit down, which I did.
"Care to explain?" Not really… but that's kinda why I came in here right?
"S' just Leo pressin buttons an bein right, as usual." Not tha whole problem, but It's tha only thing he has ta know at tha moment.
"He is just trying to help, That is how he is." He frowned at me, we all knew how Leo is. He'd do anythin ta help us out even if that meant getting outta his comfort zone.
Donny blinked, lost in his thoughts I think… an then he seemed ta realise somethin… That can't be good…
"Is that why you are here? He tried talking to you about the mystery guy, which I am sure did not work out how he wanted. So he told you to talk to someone else and knowing Leo is right, you irritably decided to listen-"
Oh great, he just had ta try an predict what happened… though it sounds bout right.
"And here you are." I growled at em an crossed ma arms. Stupid Donny lookin all smug!
"Well it aint cuz I want ta, Leo made me!" Yeah I dun think that sounded very convincin if him rollin his eyes was anythin ta go by…
"…Of course he did…" There was a silence as Don typed somethin inta his computer before closin it an lookin back at me with that stupid 'how-can-I-help-you' expression.
"So what did you want to talk about exactly?" … Uh… how am I supposed ta explain somethin like this?... it's not like I can just tell em!
"I …Uh, don't … Know?" A lie obviously… but I have no idea how ta start…
"It's alright. Just take your time." I groaned an slammed ma head against his desk an instantly regretted it... Fuck! that hurt! Pickin ma head back up, I rubbed ma hand against ma forehead, trying ta soothe the pain… it wasn't workin…
"It's just that… This guy… He's just… I don't… How do I…" Oh for tha love of god! Just shoot me! If I can't even say it how am I supposed ta ask em fer help?!
"Know how he feels about you?" I blinked as I nodded at em. Well that works too…
"Well you cannot really know how someone feels about you and I doubt he is easy to read or else you would not be here, but the only way to know for sure is to ask him." I almost choked on ma salvia as I shook ma head 'no' so quickly I nearly fell outta ma chair.
"Well that is a no to that." Don was laughin at me… great…wait, hold on! Is he smirking?! He is makin fun of me! I was about ta warn em with whatever he was plannin, but I was to late.
"You could always just kiss him and get it over with." Alright… I hate ta admit it, but I did fall backwards this time… he expects me ta just walk over ta em an kiss em?! Oh hell no! not happenin! I picked myself off from tha ground an glared at em. Stupid Donny trying ta be funny! I'd kick his ass if I wasn't here fer his help!
"Just joking Raphael." I cracked my knuckles an smirked at his flinch.
"Good cuz yer insane if ya think imma kiss em! He'd kill me!" I wasn't really expectin him ta look at me with realisation… Uh oh…
"Aaah! Now I get it!" Alright.. now I'm terrified… "You are afraid of confessing because you think he will react badly which will result in you losing him altogether, right" Well that's a little blunt… but yeah… I hung ma head an nodded sadly.
"But you talk or see this guy every day and it is getting harder for you to keep your feelings bottled up." I just gave him another nod. We was spot on…
"Have you considered… Just being nice to him?"
Huh? I Picked ma head up an looked at Donny as if he'd just gone crazy.
"What do ya mean?" How tha hell am I supposed ta do that?!
"Well you know! Have a nice conversation, get a drink together, watch a movie, play a game, train with him, go for a run or patrol, You know! That kind of stuff." I frowned as I considered Don's advice. I could always ask Leo fer some new techniques or just talk bout normal stuff… a drink sounds nice, might help em loosen up… uh… Did Don just say… I frowned at Don's easy smile.
"Whoah, hold on there a sec Don… Training? Patrol?..." An that's when tha realisation sunk in.
"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! Ya already knew who it was?!" he looked a little awkward as he tried ta laugh it off.
"Mikey had a hunch." Mikey? Tha knucklehead?! You have got ta be kiddin me!
"Mikey?! Seriously?! How tha hell did he figure it out?...wait… ya knew?" Don nodded slowly.
"And ya were still willin ta give me advice knowin imma try an get together with em?!" Another nod. What…?
"Why?" I think ma mind just shut down right now… this is too confusin…
"Oh please Raph! I am currently in a relationship with Michelangelo, so it is not like I have much to say considering we are in the same situation. Besides you really seem to like him." How stupid is it that tha only thing I can do at tha moment is blink at em?
"And not for just a fling either, you have made that rather clear." I did? I dun remember that, but just ta make sure Don ain't lyin…
"So ya really dun care bout me gunnin fer Leo?" Don snorted at me as he rolled his eyes. Well sorry I just need ta be sure!
"No, not really. A relationship would benefit the both of you and in my own opinion I would like to admit that the two of you would make a good match." A good match? He really thinks that? I'd like ta believe him, but tha most Leo an I've been doin is fight lately, with the eception of today an last night.
"Uh… I'm not really sure bout that, we can't even go a day without fightin an-" A paper ball flew at ma face cuttin me off mid-sentence an I could only look at Don with wide eyes… Did he just throw that at me?!
"That is not true Raphael, the fact that you seem to have been pushing Leonardo away because of these feelings has made you rather tense around him, resulting in the many fights. However you sneaking out without notifying any of us and the many times you have been out drinking did not help that either, considering Leonardo is very protective over us and worries about us every day. He knows he cannot force you to stay in the lair with us so the only way to show you he cares is through his lectures, but in the end that only worsens the whole situation." Mostly yes, though me bein a hothead an Leo bein a worry wart doesn't help much either.
"So in other words I'm screwed!" I buried ma head in ma arms an wallowed in self-pity.
"Not really, just try and be more friendly towards him and spend some time together and I am sure it will work itself out." Frownin, I looked at Don from tha gap between ma arms an started wonderin… spend time together? How am I supposed ta do that? it's not like I can just ask em ta go out fer a drink, he'd never do that… with tha alcohol an all an tha bein topside for it… s not really his thing… watchin a movie would be good, les talkin involved... or we could go for a run or spar? S'just like practice an if we do it before headin ta bed he might be able ta sleep better… I did tell em ta do that, but I doubt he'd do that on his own, might as well make sure he'd at least gives it a shot.
"So what yer sayin is that I should start with his bad sleepin habbit?" I sat back up so I could look Don in tha eye now that we were finally gettin to tha part that could actually help me. Uh… why is he blushin? And shakin his head?
"W-Well I think that m-might be t-taking it a bit t-to far-" Oh for tha love of! Are you kidding me?! how tha hell did he jump ta that conclusion?!... oooh… N-Nevermind… Grabbed tha piece of paper Don trew at me, I chucked it back at em.
"Not that kind of helpin genius! Leo an I've been talkin about em goin fer a run or sparrin before he goes ta sleep, cuz it might help em fall asleep easier." Donny let out a deep sigh as he realised what I meant an thankfully calmed down. Mean seriously?! I'm not just gonna jump inta Leo's bed an make em sleep! I aint that bad!... though I really want to… who knows I might at some point… if everythin goes well that is…
"Ah! Of course! That is not a bad idea at all, his mind should be tired enough for him to fall asleep easier. You should probably start with that seeing as it is something the both of you might be more comfortable with." My thoughts exactly! We'd probably turn it inta a competition of some kind, which would make it more fun an I get ta spend some time alone with Leo. A good enough time ta mend our bond I guess, considerin that's kinda tha first step.
"Right I'll do that then…" It was silent for a while after that an I hope Don's ideas might work, cuz I dunno what else ta do. I just hope I've got enough guts ta confess to tha guy at some point… well not soon, might be better ta ta try after we stop fightin everyday… an after we've gotten a little closer… or a lot…just ta be sure…
Lookin at tha lab door, I wondered what tha others were up to. They're prolly still busy. Which reminds me! those two idiots are still sparrin! I hope…
"Well I should probably get to ta dojo an wipe tha floor with Case an Mike's asses before they start ta get all high 'n mighty." Don rolled his eyes, but laughed anyway an pointed his finger at me.
"Right, just be careful with Mikey. I do not want him whining about it later." Tha both of us laughed at that an knowin Mike it's prolly true. Tha kid whines about everythin! I swear he'd even whine about eatin ice-cream without some sort of candy!
Walkin over ta tho door an unlockin it, I stopped myself from openin it. I can't really walk away without thankin Don right? he's givin me some good advice an hasn't killed me for it either… Damn I shoulda just gone ta Don in tha first place! Mighta spared us all tha trouble!... nah who am I kiddin? Tha old rat was gonna find out at some pont…
Turin round so I could face Don, I scratched tha back of ma neck. Ah man! I dun usually do this… mostly because it means I'd be admittin that I needed help in tha first place, but…
"Thanks Donny." Don looked a little surprised, but smiled an saluted.
"No problem Raphael and good luck!" Yeah… I'll need a ton of that an then some…
"Yeah tnx I'll need it." I turned back to tha door an opened it, hopin no one was waitin at tha other side an walked through it ta meet ma fate…
Please let this end well…