J.K. rowlings characters are hers not mine.
I would LOVE to have some feedback on my Stories.
It was Christmas break and most everyone was at home celebrating the fact that Lord Voldemort had finally been destroyed. But I was left behind in the castle's Astronomy tower looking out into the night sky. It was my 7th year and it had started off badly. I went home for the summer to pack before myself Harry and Ron ventured out to find the remaining Horcruxes I was only going to be home for a week but the night before I was to leave I had a bad feeling I went to my room and finished packing and sent my trunk to the Weasley's. I turned out my light and the doorbell rang looking out my window I saw a horrible thing Death Eaters on my front porch and no lights around, before I could stop him my father answered the door and was greeted with the killing curse. I couldn't get to my mother she was in the hallway when my father was killed and I knew she was next I ran to my brothers room and grabbed my 10 year old brother and told him to be quiet, I had my wand and we hid in his closet's secret doorway they searched the house and didn't find us and I heard one say " her stuff is gone she must have already left." the other said "burn the house then." they set fire to the front of the house and I knew I couldn't get out that way. We quickly put some of my brothers things in a bag and we crawled through the secret passageway and went to the basement, I went to the only other way out of the house and underground tunnel and when I opened it up I was met with a face, a face I knew wasn't his own but I knew he was there to help. He held up his hand for me to be quiet and he pulled me into the tunnel. Once in and the door was shut he placed a silencing charm and said " I knew they were coming for you and I knew you had to be saved I'm an outcast we have to get you somewhere safe you have to survive." we went through the tunnel and came out 4 blocks away in a dark alley he wrapped his cloak around me and my brother and led me away from my house, I looked back and saw the smoke in the night sky along with the dark mark, and I knew the face of my father when he died would remain with me always.
When we got to a deserted area it was safe to apparate he pulled us to him and we were gone. When I opened my eyes we were outside a small house, he took us in and led us to a room to sleep. "in the morning I will be gone but you can apparate to the Weasley's house they are expecting you, keep safe and I know I will see you again." as he turned to leave I said "Wait" he stopped and turned around "who are you your glamour charm is weak" ' if I told you Hermionie you wouldn't believe me, all you need to know for now is I'm a friend not an enemy and I am on your side I always was I will be in touch." as he left I saw sadness in his eyes, but whether it was for me or for himself I wouldn't know….not yet."
The next morning I woke up still wrapped in his cloak that he left. I woke my brother and together we apparated to the Weasley's. I walked to the door and was met by Molly, she gave me the biggest hug and led me to the Kitchen table where I saw a newspaper the Daily Prophet its headline was "Hermionie Granger Presumed Dead" in the article it said the house was burned down and they found two bodies. I looked up at Molly and said they found my parents I escaped with some help." "Dear I am so sorry, but who helped you the Order had no idea." "A Kind stranger that's all I know." she fixed myself and my brother breakfast and soon I heard the footsteps of the others waking up. When Ron and Harry saw me they hugged me and then asked about the boy sitting next to me I gave them the Daily prophet and said "he is my brother." I told them how I escaped my house and they all wondered who it was that helped me.
Harry, Ron and I took a lot of time planning out our search, we had received from McGonagal some information that Dumbledor had left us. We finished our planning and knew it was time to leave but first was the wedding. Bill and Fleur looked so in love and the wedding was Beautiful and sad, everyone knew that as soon as the wedding was over the golden Trio was to be leaving. I held my brother Alexander close, he knew something was wrong. When the wedding ended there was a small reception and Alexander asked me "Sophey, where are you going?" I looked at him and answered "I am going to find a way to bring down the defense of the man who killed our Parents." "Sophey, you know when they told us we were both adopted." "Yes" "well I snuck into fathers study and found the papers we have the same mother." "I know I did the same but it didn't list our father's names." "I don't think we have the same father though." "I know, but why did she give us both up I know she's still alive." "She couldn't take care of us without risking loosing one of us." "You sound like you've heard from her." he looked into my eyes and I knew he had. "she approached me one day at school, I knew who she was without her telling me we look like her but not how we are right now we have concealment charms on us she said yours would come off on your next birthday and mine will be linked to yours. Your father is alive but mine is not. We are both pureblooded and I know you already knew I'm a wizard. She will be at Hogwarts this year." I looked at him and didn't say anything I knew Ali knew more than he was saying, he had called me Sophey since he could talk and I had always wondered why, I knew that we both had different powers and sometimes I knew he was reading my mind, Ali knew more about me than anyone and I had always thought that he was a seer. "Sophey, this year is going to be a bad one." I laughed "I had a feeling, Ali you would tell me if there was something else I needed to know right now right? We are fixing to leave and I need to know if there is anything else I don't know." "You are on the right track, the things you haven't told Harry yet I wouldn't tell him he needs to figure those out. This summer is only going to be the start of things, and some things have two different outcomes it all depends on choices." "Thank you. Ali the guy who helped us…." "what he said is true he is on our side and always has been he can be trusted and you do know him its not the first time he's helped you and it wont be the last." Harry came over and said "its time you need to go change and we are only bringing a small backpack and nothing heavy unless its charmed we need to move fast." "Ok Ali ill be right back." I left to go change and get my bag and I knew it was going to be hard to leave Ali but I knew he would be safe here. When I came back in my Jeans and tank top and bag I met everyone the boys were already saying goodbye. I started my goodbyes and when I finally reached Ali I knew that after this trip there was going to be one big fall.
Ya know its funny i never used to like to write at all and making up things was hard basically because i never think good of myself but now for some reason i keep getting ideas for stories. but im sure you dont care about all that! so if you would be so kind Please give me any kind of feedback. i have a couple more chapters forthis story as well as my other one but i want to hear something before i post more!
Thankx! KJ