Choose Love
Chapter 7
Rosemary had just kissed her husband Lee goodbye and sent him off to work. She was busying herself with some light household chores when she heard the knock on the door. She was expecting Elizabeth and hurriedly removed her apron before springing to the door. It was a rare treat to see Elizabeth this late in the morning on a weekday. Elizabeth had decided not to have school the Monday following the camping trip. She knew everyone would be far too tired to pay attention. It was a decision she did not regret.
"Good morning Elizabeth", Rosemary greeted her friend happily. "Are you ready for our little outing?"
"I sure am." Elizabeth returned with a warm smile.
"Well I tell you I have been on pins and needles since you all got back yesterday. I can't wait to hear all about it. This is going to be a great article for The Valley Voice, so I need all the details. Rosemary looped her arm under Elizabeth's and patted her on the arm. "Oh! I have a great idea," Rosemary exclaimed. "We need a picture to accompany the article. Wouldn't that be great?"
Elizabeth smiled and nodded in the affirmative, but wasn't sure what to say.
"Do you think we could come by tomorrow and take a picture of the group?" Rosemary asked. Maybe during their recess time?" Elizabeth looked at her friend, who's face had turned from a look of sheer excitement to one of concern. "Oh dear." Rosemary whispered. "What if Nathan can't be there? He has to be in the picture too. I hope he's around and not away on Mountie business.
"And don't forget about Laura and Robert. They were there too." It was the only thing Elizabeth could think to say."
"Yes, right Elizabeth, I will have to talk to all three of them as soon as possible. Just let me grab my things, I'm ready to go if you are."
Rosemary grabbed her coat and her baskets and they were off. The two had planned a simple afternoon gathering fall apples and the last of the loganberries.
As the two ladies strolled away from town their quiet conversation was interrupted by the clip clop sounds of approaching horses hooves. Rosemary quickly realized it was Nathan and began waving and calling out his name.
"What a stroke of good luck." Rosemary said and stepped forward as Newton drew closer. Elizabeth nodded her head in agreement and offered an insincere smile.
"Nathan, good morning. I'm so glad we ran into you. There is something that I really must talk to you about!"
"Is everything okay, Rosemary?" Nathan asked with concern as he looked down at Rosemary. He tried to catch Elizabeth's gaze, but it was quickly averted away from him.
"Oh yes, yes. Everything is fine, I'm sorry if I gave you a start. I just need to ask a favor of you." Rosemary explained as Nathan tried to give her his full and undivided attention. Rosemary went on to explain about her article and the picture she hoped to get to accompany it. Nathan promised to be there if nothing kept him from it. Rosemary clapped her hands and squealed with excitement, thanking Nathan for his time. She rushed back to Elizabeth's side as Nathan tipped his hat and smiled warmly in goodbye.
"Now I only have Laura and Robert I need to ask. I sure hope they can be there." Rosemary mused to no one in particular.
"I'm sure they will be able to Rosemary. You can let them know as soon as we get back to town. I will help you find them."
"Oh thank you Elizabeth. I'm really getting excited for this article now!"
Elizabeth made a face at Rosemary but couldn't hold it as the both of them broke out into a knowing chuckle.
"Just look at those baskets." Rosemary asked of Elizabeth. They are overflowing with bounty! I think we will get a lot of treats made up for the dance this weekend."
"We sure will." Elizabeth agreed with a happy smile.
Rosemary made her way over to the picnic basket she had packed for herself and Elizabeth. She pulled out a blanket and spread it out on the ground. Rosemary took a seat on the pretty blanket and began arranging their lunch. Rosemary called out to Elizabeth to join her for lunch. Elizabeth looked down at the basket full of berries hanging from her arm and smiled mischievously to herself as she popped the berry she held between her fingers into her mouth. Elizabeth made her way over to where Rosemary sat and lowered herself to the blanket.
"I don't know about you but I'm ready for lunch!" Rosemary announced. "I'm really pleasantly surprised on how many apples and berries we were able to gather this late in the season, aren't you Elizabeth?"
"Yes." Elizabeth agreed. "We filled every basket!" Elizabeth politely answered all of Rosemary's questions but she couldn't avoid the feeling of dread slowly creeping up on her. She didn't mind Rosemary asking questions about the trip. Everyone would want to know about it and Rosemary's article was a great way to let the town know how trip went. Elizabeth knew that the questions Rosemary asked as a journalist would be nothing to worry about. It was, however the questions that Rosemary would ask as a friend that were causing butterflies to take up residence in her stomach.
"I think this will be our final outing for awhile now." Rosemary stated. "It's almost too chilly today isn't it? "But pies and cobblers must be baked!" Rosemary smiled and handed Elizabeth half a sandwich.
Elizabeth smiled in agreement and looked around her. Shielding her eyes from the rays of the sun she looked up. It was a chilly day, but the sky was azure blue with big puffy white clouds. Elizabeth was thankful for this time with her friend. Rosemary picked up a small tablet of paper and a pencil.
"Elizabeth?" Elizabeth turned her gaze to Rosemary. "You look lost in thought. Are you ready for your interview.?" Rosemary asked.
"I'm sorry Rosemary. I was just taking in the beauty of this day. I am just so thankful we have this extra time to spend together."
Rosemary covered Elizabeth's hand with her own. "I am too Elizabeth, but I sense you have more on your mind."
Elizabeth gave her friend a sad little grin. Rosemary knew her so well now. Elizabeth knew she would unburden herself of the thoughts and feelings she'd been having since before the camping trip had even ended.
"My goodness Elizabeth." Rosemary responded, wiping tears from the sides of her eyes. What a beautiful scene to witness. Our Mountie truly is a hero."
The two women sat in silence for a moment. Elizabeth had once again been overcome with emotion as she recalled the events of the children's fishing trip to Rosemary.
Elizabeth lifted her gaze from her lap to look directly into her friends eyes. "Oh Rosemary, I'm so confused." Elizabeth confessed.
"Elizabeth." Rosemary answered in a sympathetic tone. "Is it Nathan? Do you have new feelings for him, or have old feelings resurfaced?"
Elizabeth began to sob. "At first I was so angry with him for coming along on the camping trip. I was sure he knew something before I did, and that he had taken advantage of the situation. But I was so wrong about him. I know that now. Nathan could never be that underhanded." Rosemary smiled in understanding, as Elizabeth continued. "When I saw him with Angela... Elizabeth trailed off, deep in thought. It changed everything Rosemary."
"What do you mean? It changed everything?" Rosemary asked with concern.
"What I mean to say is I think I am seeing a part of Nathan that I haven't seen before. I know how inherently good Nathan is. I always have, but what I saw of him on this trip, I don't think I allowed myself to see before. The way he treated Angela with such kindness, concern, and with such dignity...well it touched a part of my heart that's never been touched before.
"So what confuses you about that?" Rosemary asked.
" Why has it taken me this long to see him, Rosemary? I once told Nathan that I was using him to replace Jack in my heart. But now I know I used the Serge to keep from getting to know Nathan."
"The man behind the Serge?" Rosemary quietly suggested.
"Yes." Elizabeth whispered.
"So what does that mean Elizabeth? What are you going to do?"
"That's why I'm so confused. I'm not sure what these feelings are telling me."
"Do you think these feelings are about you and what you have realized about Nathan, or are you having romantic feelings for him too?
Elizabeth shot up from the blanket and walked over to one of the maple trees that stood close by and braced herself against the trunk. Dizzy, the word romantic still ringing in her ears. With concern Rosemary made her way over to where her friend stood. She took hold of both Elizabeth's hands and looked lovingly into Elizabeth's troubled face.
"I love Lucas. He changed my life. Sometimes I think back to the first time I read that letter Jack wrote to me, about how he wanted me to find love again if anything happened to him. I could not fathom it. How could I ever find love again. Not after him. How could he even suggest such a thing? But now I know how. It was his love for me. He loved me that much. And now here I am engaged to Lucas! I'm happy again, I truly am. You know Rosemary there was a time when I could never have imagined myself being married to Lucas." Elizabeth added with a chuckle making Rosemary smile. "He just sort of swept into my heart when I least expected it. I know he will make me very happy. Me and Jack both."
"And Nathan?"
"When I first laid eyes on Nathan he took my breath away. I knew someday we would get a new Mountie. But actually seeing him that first day...I didn't realize what a shock it would be to me. I could tell he was so much like Jack. So young and so...ALIVE. You could tell how eager he was to do his job. Thank goodness Clara was there for me to lean on. As I got to know Nathan I actually could picture a life with him, as his wife. Of course I could. But then I began to doubt myself after Nathan almost got shot. How could I not let the doubt sneak in? I began to tell myself that the life I was imagining with Nathan was the life I had hoped for with Jack. I knew that wasn't fair to Nathan. Then my feeling for Lucas began to deepen. But Rosemary what if that was just the fear of losing Nathan that made me push him away?"
"I think that is something you are going to have to figure out for yourself Elizabeth. I wish I had more advise to give you, but I believe only you can answer the questions in your heart."
"I kissed him!" Elizabeth blurted out.
"What?" Rosemary exclaimed. "Elizabeth! What happened? Why"
"I was trying to tell him that I saw him with Angela, and what it meant to me. But I couldn't find the words. So I just kissed him on the cheek and walked away." Elizabeth explained.
Elizabeth continued, telling Rosemary everything that had between herself and Nathan.
"I think my love is deepening for Nathan, but how can that be, Rosemary? You cannot be in love with two people at the same time." Elizabeth confessed with a heavy heart.
"Oh my dear Elizabeth I don't think love works that way. It's not that defined. Love can be messy and you can have feelings for more than one person. Love isn't always perfect. But you can strive for perfection once have it. And you will have it. But you still have some things to figure out for yourself first. You are not married to Lucas yet. If you need more time then you should post pone the wedding. If Lucas truly loves you he will understand. As far as Nathan is concerned you have a lot of thinking to do. But Elizabeth, please do not give him false hope! He has already been through enough, and he doesn't deserve to be hurt all over again. Nathan needs to continue to heal. If you're not in love with him then let him go. He needs to move forward with his life."
"Rosemary's words felt like a punch to Elizabeth's mid-section. Stealing her breath away. In that moment Elizabeth realized that she had never really thought about what Nathan needed. Not really. He deserved to be fully let go of. If that was what was in her heart. If that's what he needed. He deserved closure.