So, here is chapter three, finally.. thanks to all of you who waited!
Disclaimer...nah, still don't own nothin'.

And thank you to everyone who read this chappie before I fixed it (oops!)

Now it is snowing. They have all resumed the exact same paper doll positions as before, only now there are white bits swirling through the air...Honestly, it just looks like Zeus had dandruff. Sword takes this time to switch into his shirt, perhaps feeling that orange was not his color, since Kirk wasn't paying any attention.

Char, having grown bored with pointing and laughing, is flying in big circles to make himself dizzy. (Those of you who have this tape will know what I mean when I say that this is freakin' hilarious to watch in rewind).

Suddenly, the ice M3green is standing on cracks, and he clings precariously to the edge of a cliff with his top two hands. Spock walks calmly over (sugar crash!) to him, lays down, and grabs M3's top two hands. Kirk, on the other hand, runs over, lays down, and grabs Spock's boots...Yeah. Uh, dude? The guy has six hands, wouldn't it make more sense to grab some of those and actually pull the guy up?

Laura smirks at this masculine idiocy and whistles for Char, who flies over and lifts M3 up.

M3 complains that he is so tired, he isn't even afraid anymore. At an order from Kirk, Sword lifts up the green alien, who seems to have shrunk from the cold. Sword of course changed back into his orange shirt while we weren't looking. Trying to distract our beloved Captain perchance? Dramatic flute music plays in the background while the others exchange tense looks.

There is a shot of Char flying, then a pretty forest scene and Sword is still holding M3, who has grown back to regular size.

"What is it?" Kirk asks, once more standing too close to the camera.

"Not sure," Sword grunts. "Thought I saw something move over there."

"There is no life on this planet," Spock mumbles through a mouthful of Romulan Special-brew Brownies.

"Guess you're right. This planet just gets on your nerves after a while."

--------------------------------------------------------

"I can sense...the SOUL!" Char shouts, flapping his wings. "I will fly ahead and scout the building!"

Kirk scowls. "No, you won't! I'm the leader! What you'll do is fly ahead and scout the building!"

Spock and Sword exchange looks. Spock shrugs.

"And Char," Kirk adds, his eyeball-less face 3 inches from the camera. "Be careful. We need you, too."

Char flies off sideways and Kirk turns to the others. Ignoring Spock's hurt-puppydog-eyes look, he somehow manages to talk by moving only his mouth and not his jaw. The authoress chooses not to speculate where and how he learned to do this. "I know we're tired, hungry and worn out, but I'm going to scout ahead."

Sword scratches his head, wondering if that was supposed to make sense.

"I'll go with you!" Laura bursts out, catching on. "Scoutin's my job anyway."

Kirk smirks. Yes, even in the cartoon he can pull off a lecherous look. They run off into the wild blue-icy-volcano-covered yonder.

KIRK FANGIRLS: – Heavy Sigh–

LAURA FANGIRLS: He so doesn't deserve her! –sigh–

Spock raises an eyebrow, but decides that it had to happen sooner or later and lets it go, because he knows if you really love someone, you should set them free...(ok, he really lets him go because he noticed the Rabid Spockgirls/guys waiting on the side with trays of cookies and Vulcan Tarts.–the pastry kind!–)

"Sword," he continues, once the bouncers have escorted all fans off set. "What did you think you saw back there?" He raises an eyebrow.

SNEAKY FANGIRLS:–Swoon!–

Sword has taken a leaf out of Kirk's book and stands right in front of the camera. "Don't know. Thought I saw a figure. Must have been seeing things."

Fourth–er–Spock replies wittily, "There should be no life on this planet."

"You keep saying that!" complains M3.

"Yes." Spock holds still for his Super-closeup with mega eyeliner. "The Vadala would have told us if there were any live being here we should know of."

"Well," growls Sword, swatting a Fangirl or two, "if they could scan for that, why couldn't they tell where the soul was?"

Spock is stymied by this and doesn't reply.

--------------------------------------------------

Kirk and Laura have finally reached the building that Char saw. It looks rather like an upside-down ringpop, sans ring.

"Well," Kirk pants. "Here we are, at the end of a long, hard journey."

"Don't forget, James," Laura quirks a scary eyebrow. "We still have to go back, if ya know what I mean."

MONTY PYTHON FANS: –gleefully–Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!

Laura turns and glares, pointing to her finger-bone necklace meaningfully. The Python fans shut up.

"As I was sayin'," she continues, "to tell the truth, I think you're an attractive man. Maybe the trip'd be easier if we were...together."

Any Kirkgirls/guys that would have reacted to this have now been cowed into silence, so we will continue.

Kirk eyes her nervously, wondering if she is going to expect long-term commitment now.

"And if anything happened, why...we'd have plenty of green memories."

"I already have...a lot of green memories." (Seriously, he really says this...and in a kid's cartoon! I ask you!)

"Oh."

"Maybe some other time, Laura." Kirk smirks at this smooth evasion of commitment.

Suddenly, they are all standing before the building, which is now amazingly huge. And purple. And sparkly.

"Is this not the shape of your people's primitive temples?" Spock asks Char, hands on hips.

Bird-man, annoyed that Spock called his people primitive, tosses his...feathers, and imitates him. "Yes. The entrance should be." For some reason, Char ends his sentence there and points. Everyone looks over and suddenly notices the big, obvious pink door in the wall. Which, coincidentally, is the exact same shape as a right-way-up ringpop, sans ring.

"There's no lock I can't pick," groans M3 and moves toward the door.

Sword blinks, wondering why they don't just ring the doorbell.

M3 stands in front of the lock and waggles all six arms to unlock it. Conveniently, the lock is exactly at arm-level for so short a being.

-------------------------------------------------------

There is a random shot of the starships orbiting the Vadala's planet. Which is odd, considering that Kirk & crew aren't even on that planet.

"What's happening?" growls Kirk after a few seconds.

"I'm opening the locks." M3 cowers as much as possible while waving all six arms.

"Wonderful!" Laura exclaims, causing several Fanguys to faint.

"No," he moans, "they're on a time trigger! If I don't unlock it fast enough, it'll explode!"

"Well, that'd suck," Kirk observes philosophically.

Spock (fourth) just sighs.

Then, purple torpedoes with bird's heads shriek out of the sky toward them.

Laura, who is looking more and more like the aliens in Mars Attacks as the episode goes on, raises her phaser. Sword leaps to defend M3, brandishing what looks like a staple gun. Char–who is now somehow flying –gets run into by one of the purple torpedoes. The impact makes him lose three feathers and a goldfish cracker. Don't ask where he was keeping it.

Kirk and Laura fire their phasers and explode a torpedo. "It's mechanical!"

"Of course," Spock agrees, holding up his hair-dryer. "The Vadala were right, there is no life on this planet." He says. Again. He pulls the trigger, revealing that there is a phaser hidden inside the hair-dryer. Sneaky Spock. He explodes another one.

Sword growls at M3, "Hurry up, small one!"

Char wrestles with the remaining torpedo, then gets carried off by it. Somehow.

"What happened?" Laura cries. While the others were busy not looking, she seems to have gotten into Spock's eyebrow extensions because her eyebrows have doubled in size, though they are still forked at the ends.

"There is no way to tell from here," Kirk answers. "The mechanical exploded. We can't reach the roof from the outside."

"Done!" calls M3. The door opens, effectively silencing Kirk's nonsensical words.

"We could rest for a while," Kirk offers. "Laura?"

"Hell no!" she snorts, rolling her eyes. "We've come this far."

"Let's finish it!" gravels Sword.

Inside the building, the 'Soul' floats. It looks like a giant, glowing yellow bow for a birthday present and sounds like it needs a tune-up.

"Pretty," grunts Sword, "how do we reach it?"

"The walls are not climbable," says Spock, in his confusion making up words.

"Either we find a way to reach it from here, or...we fail." Kirk smirks.

ALLY-P: Um, couldn't they just make a people pyramid, grab the soul, and beam out? Hello? –swiftly ducks head behind notebook to hide from Fangirls, who are searching around for the person making sarcastic comments.–

Quite all of a sudden, the door closes. "No lock on the inside, we're trapped!" moans M3.

"That's right!" Kirk agrees, smirking again.

"You're not surprised," Laura raises an eyebrow. Spock, finally seeing where his spare eyebrow extensions went, sneers at her and raises his eyebrow, to show that he's a natural and she's just faking.

"The first three expeditions to the planet failed. But that was not enough." Kirk opens his eyes wide for dramatic effect.

"You suspect sabotage, Captain?" Again with the eyebrow. It's a wonder he doesn't look like Frankenstein's monster by now!

"Yes. Remember Spock, you were the one who said there were no life forms here except ourselves."

"Yeah, he said it enough," M3 grumbles to Sword.

"But that doesn't matter, if we can reach the soul!" Kirk looks around and discovers that the wall is indeed 'climbable'. He heaves himself onto a ledge that runs around the room. Everyone except Sword joins him.

"I'm not built for that sort of thing!" he complains. "I'll wait down here."

Dramatic music plays as they inch sideways along the narrow ledge toward the soul.

ALLY-P: Now, wouldn't it have made more sense to walk over to the wall next to the soul, then climb up on the ledge, instead of inching along around the whole building? –Fangirls of all sorts whip around, glaring and throwing popcorn at said writer. Ally-p makes a mental note to borrow a phaser from Scotty next time she begins a parody.–

The Building shakes. "Earthquake," Spock sums up.

Laura produces a lasso from...somewhere. "Maybe I can lasso the soul!"

Kirk's jaw drops. "I didn't see that before!"

Spock raises an eyebrow.

A shot is fired, blowing a hole in the wall near them. "The last piece of sabotage," Kirk says triumphantly. "I know who you are! A thousand feet up, no method of reaching the soul except by air, by flight! CHAR !"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N--- Wow, this is a pretty long chapter... I did grammar check on this, and it came up with:

"'And sparkly' May not be a complete sentence"

...lol. And I must admit, 'climbable' is actually a word, it just sounded made up. Also, I want to thank my little sister, who at ten years old is already starting to parody. She spotted the goldfish that Char drops, Spock's hair-dryer-phaser, and the fact that Sword wields what appears to be a staple gun.

Soooo, review review review!

Quote for the day:

"But I had to freeze him! He had a mean look. I like happy looks."

-Charlie Evans, in 'Charlie X', Star Trek. But I expect you all knew that.