Disclaimer– Nope, don't own Star Trek, just a few books and a slight obsession...

Current music: The Jungle Book ('We are friends' especially), Depeche Mode's 'People are People', Porno for Pyro's 'Pets', & lots of Sinead O'Connor...

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Char flies down and hovers in the air by the soul, waving his wingtips to keep aloft.

"Char! In the name of the Seven Gods (Doc, Bashful, Sleepy, Grumpy...), why?" cries Laura.

"You stole this!" Kirk scolds, waving at the levitating Soul-ribbon, which is now blue. "You'll start a bloody crusade across the galaxy, why?"

"The Score were once a warrior race!" Char wails. "Now we are slaves to the illusion of peace! Now, we can't even reproduce!"

M3 turns even greener. "Didn't need to know that!"

Char resumes monologueing, waving his arms and hovering. Spock (fourth) looks around and realizes he's trapped from doing anything by Laura and M3green, who are on either side of him. "Most of your people will be killed," he tosses in.

"Yes!" Char rants. "A noble death, to win a great dream! We will live no longer as worms in the dirt!!"

While Char continues ranting, the assorted group members sigh, tap their feet, or check their watches, waiting for him to finish already!

Char pulls a wing over his face and says "Let's get dangerous!" then soars off and leaves everyone just standing there, staring after him. (Can't blame them, really, after that show of bizarre crossover material.) Until they start to float, that is.

"Look Spock, look!" Kirk shouts. "I'm thinking happy thoughts and it works!!"

"He turned off the gravity!" moans M3.

"Oh..." Kirk looks around quickly to see if anyone heard his mistake.

"Now you can fight me like a Score!" the berserk bird-man calls.

"No offense, little ones, but let me tackle him!" Sword cries.

"Use your phaser!" shouts M3, finally.

"Too risky!" growls Kirk. "Spock, when was the last time you worked out in null-gravity?"

"Last week, Captain, with you–"

KIRK/SPOCK SHIPPERS: –WOOT! SQUEE!!–

"Yes! I remember!" Kirk cuts in hurriedly. He pushes off the wall toward Char and, predictably, misses.

Spock catches Char's wing and Kirk grabs the other one on his next pass. "Call for retrieval!" he shouts to Laura, hooking his foot on the soul. (Bit rude, really). Laura pulls a little white box with an orange-and-red button from...somewhere, and presses the button.

"Let me DIE!" shouts Char as they start glowing yellow.

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They are back in Willy Wonka's woodland circle again. The Soul is glowing in the center, and Char sulks off to the side.

"We give you thanks," the White Wolf-lady says. "The Soul of Alar is returned to his people. Or it will be, once we get it off our planet."

Kirk looks at Char, who is sulking in a see-through box which keeps him sedated. Unfortunately for him, a side-effect of this is that he now has Ramones songs running through his head.

"How are you going to punish him?"

"He will be healed of his madness. Then he will be forced to watch Spongebob Squarepants for Eternity." She roars and Char disappears. "We cannot reward you. For the sake of the Score, this must be kept secret. You have, only, our thanks."

Sword shrugs. "But there will be questions."

"No. No questions. You'll see. And in time, even the memory will be gone."

Behind Kirk, Spock's jaw drops. He realizes that this means Doctor McCoy will never know about him being Fourth!! He does a little happy dance and jumps up and down in excitement.

Laura scoots over to Kirk while Spock is distracted. "Goodbye, James Kirk. Too bad."

Kirk absently checks to make sure he still has all his fingers as the Vadala raises her arms.

"Now if you'll excuse me," she says "I'm late for my chiropractic appointment. Goodbye!"

They all disappear, leaving the clearing with it's blue grass and multi-color mushrooms.

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Kirk and Spock are beamed back to the Enterprise, Spock in mid butt-wiggle.

SPOCK FANGIRLS/GUYS: –scream and faint with delight–

Sulu is so surprised, he ignores the various thuds of falling bodies around the ship and gets a close-up!

PRODUCERS: –muttering– Damn! Now we have to pay him extra!

"Sir, what happened? Did they call it off? I didn't even have time to exchange wagers with Uhura!"

"How long were we gone?" Spock asks, now merely twitching his eyebrow with delight.

"Well, about two minutes I guess. I don't understand!"

"The Vadala changed their minds," Kirk answers, looking into his close-up. "The danger is over."

It would seem Spock is still giddy with joy, because he takes time here to give Kirk's butt a good pinch. Kirk's eyes open very wide (we are still in close-up, you'll recall) and then gives his first officer a sidelong smirk.

"Back to your stations!" he calls to the others, "we've got a lot of other places to go!"

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A/N – I swear, Spock really must have pinched him, it looks just like it...what else could account for the wide eyes and the smirk like that? Sorry this is such a short last chapter, it kind of snuck up on me... I thought I had two more pages written down, but then I look and it's just notes for the rest of the parody...urg...

For some reason, Darkwing Duck popped into my head when I was writing this, so I figured I'd just stick it in there. And for those who don't know, the Ramones song Char gets stuck in his head is 'I want to be Sedated'... which is a really awful song to get stuck in your head, trust me. Not as bad as the Spongebob theme though, mwahaha! Gabba gabba hey!

So loves, this is the Last Chapter (duh duh duh dummm!) My dad has suggested that I parody one or two of the movies next, since I have run out of actual episodes and we just canceled our movie-store subscription... Tell me whatcha think?

Quote for the day:

"Brace yourself for a bit of a shock mister, but I just saw you die!"

"Wha??"

"Well, I did warn you to brace yourself."

"But ye didn't give me much of a chance!"

" I gave you ample bracing time!"

"Ye didn't! Ye didn't even pause!"

"Well I'm sorry, but I've just had a rather nasty experience! I have just seen someone I know die in the most Hideous, hideous way!"

"Yes, me!"

– Red Dwarf (this one always makes me laugh, even though I've never seen the show)