Chapter VIII: A Human Connection
Dr. Deidre Lundy sits patiently as she looks out into the prisoner visiting booths. Several inmates chat animatedly to their incoming loved ones, the two parties separated by a partition of thick glass, their only means of communicating being a specially designed telephone. But Lundy's attention is on one particular booth, which seats an attractive young woman, who looks to be in her late teens or early twenties. Long, straight black hair, tanned skin, with beautiful hazel eyes. The young woman sits alone as the other side of the booth is unoccupied.
"Why do psychopaths always have some of the best looking kids?" Lundy whispers to herself.
A few minutes later, two guards escort Marcos into the enclosure of which the doctor is sitting. He stands silent, giving her a brooding and cold gaze.
"Happy birthday Colonel." Lundy says with all the somber cheer she can muster, but Marcos remains silent "Look before we address the elephant in the room, I just have to say this. A call from county came in just yesterday. In the next forty eight hours, you'll be transferred up north to Whatley Island Max."
Marcos hardly moves as he just shrugs "…and?"
"Look, I know your upset with me and honestly, you have every right to be. I just want to apologize for not keeping your confidence. Father Emmett has been a friend of my family's for a very long time and I just thought…"
"You just thought what doctor? That bringing in some whacked out religious nut job who sits there talking about eldritch prophets and whatever other weird esoteric shit was gonna brighten my day? What was that motherfucker even talking about anyway?" says Marcos as he cuts Lundy off.
"I realize that Father Emmett can be quite eccentric at times, but he always has the best intentions in mind. I promise you Colonel, I was only trying to help."
Marcos continues to stare directly into Lundy's eyes, not flinching for a second "You know there was a reason why it took almost twenty five years to catch me. It's because I'm not fucking stupid or easily fooled. You think for a moment that I buy any of the horse shit that just came out of your mouth? You got some other angle here Lundy, and you can be damn sure it's got nothing to do with my mental health."
"Alright, I suppose I deserved that." Lundy says as she slightly glances downward "But as a gesture of good faith on my part and as a birthday present of sorts, I've arranged for someone to come see you."
Marcos smirks in disbelief "Are you fucking kidding me? You have to just about be the densest cunt I've ever…"
"Your youngest daughter Colonel, Adrianna." says Lundy in a swift rebuttal.
Marcos pauses for a good long while, trying to process what he's just been told "Anna's here?" he says as a wave of relief seems to wash over his face.
"That's right, I thought between my screw up and your transfer coming, I owed you at least that much."
Marcos breathes hard but doesn't say anything further, he turns to exit as the two guards prepare to escort him out. Just before he leaves, he turns around to once again face the doctor "Your not fooling anyone doctor, and I when I figure out just what exactly is going on with you, Father Fruit Loops and the rest of this fucked up Establishment…it's not going to be pretty. Sleep tight." he says as he his immediately ushered out by the guards.
Once Marcos is escorted into the visitor's room, he is led to an empty chair, directly across from the young woman. The convicted murderer looks at his daughter, his eyes beaming with contentment as the guard carefully uncuffs both his wrists and ankles. Adrianna Morales forces a small smile on her face in acknowledgment as her father sits down as the guard leaves. The two just take a moment to look at one another, exchanging a silent greeting before they both simultaneously lift the receiver on the telephones in order to hear each other's voice.
"Hi daddy, happy fiftieth." says Adrianna, trying to edge out some enthusiasm.
Marcos smiles as his entire demeanor changes "Thank you baby. It's good to see you."
"Look I debated whether or not I should've even come to be honest with you." she says, her voice laced with resentment.
Marcos looks down and swallows "I understand…"
"I don't think you do!" she says as her composure breaks as tears of frustration and sadness well up in her eyes "I've given myself every reason in the world for why I should hate you! For all the people that you've hurt, that you've fucking killed for God's sake! What you've done to me, Mom and Ali! You're a soulless monster, you know that?"
For anyone else in the world, this kind of rhetoric wouldn't have phased Marcos in the slightest. Throughout his entire life, he approached others with a kind of cold, and calculating logic. Other people's emotions, frailties and well being meant absolutely nothing to him. But to hear these words come from his own daughter, seem to get to him in a way nothing else could. For the first time, this serial killer felt a degree of what can only be described as shame "Your right, and I'm…"
"Don't interrupt me! I've waited an entire year, ever since you first got locked up, to tell you how I feel, and I'm gonna speak my peace!" she says, tears now freely flowing from her eyes "But no matter how much I've tried to see you as some kind of bloodthirsty animal and despite all the despicable and terrible things you've done…your still my father, and I will always have love for you." she says as a moment later she lets out a loud sigh as she rubs her forehead "That's a huge load off, I can't tell you."
With some of the tension lessened, Marcos nods "Kinda reminds me of the time you exploded on me when I told you, you had to wait for your thirteenth birthday for an I-Phone."
This elicits a stifled chuckle from Adrianna, which Marcos seizes upon "…and we've done it ladies and gentlemen, the first giggle."
"I honestly don't know what to say after that." she says, trying to steer the conversation back to a serious note.
"How's your mother and sister holding up?" asks Marcos.
"I don't know, how does one react to being told that their father and husband is a serial bomber that's killed over two hundred people over the span of two decades? Truthfully daddy, they're not doing so hot as you can imagine." she says as more tears drip down her face.
Marcos places his finger on the glass as if to stroke her cheek "Tell me little Osita."
"Osita, you haven't called me that in years." she says wiping her nose "Um, Allison went on some kind of extended tour of Europe. Haven't heard from her in over three months."
"…and your mother?"
"Mom has totally broken. She's been admitted to the psyche hospital three times in the last year. Now all she does is drink herself into a stupor." she stops and breaks down again, sobbing "I don't know if I can make it daddy."
Marcos leans back watching his daughter cry, with a somber expression "Baby I don't know what I can do, if anything. Financially, you three inherit all my savings, so in that regard you'll be taken care of. But emotionally, I know what you need from me and quite frankly, I just don't know what I'm capable of giving. You know what I am."
After a few more moments of sobbing, Adrianna composes herself enough to speak "I've done a lot of research and intellectually I know what a clinical psychopath is. But I guess everyone's different. So tell me, do me, mom and Ali mean anything to you at all? Would you ever hurt us, like you did all those other people?"
"No, of course I wouldn't. But in terms of if I feel anything towards you, I suppose I do. Just not in the same way a normal person would. Love, anger, sadness, on a superficial level, I think I know what they mean, but they register much differently for me. As far my crimes go, I'm not sorry for the actual acts themselves. I don't feel bad for what I've done, I've never lost any sleep because of it."
"But all those people. Old ladies, young children…" she says.
"Means nothing to me. I suppose killing from a distance has different effects. But they were just blank faces to me. Drabs of walking puppets with no future and no past. Just moving targets."
"So that's it?" asks Adrianna with deep sadness in her voice.
"The only thing I can tell you is that when it came to you, your sister and your mother it was different. I needed you, some of it was practical, maybe some of it was sentimentality, I don't know."
"I can't deal with this right now, I have to go." she says, starting to get up from the chair.
"Wait Anna…wait!" he says as his daughter slowly sits back down.
"I've lied to you for the entire nineteen years you've been alive. If it's one thing I can offer you now, it's honesty. Now yes it's true, I feel no remorse for the things that I've done in regards to me being a serial killer. But the harm that's it's caused my family, I feel uncomfortable. It makes me angry at myself, because as a normal person, you didn't deserve to be dragged into this. I used my wife and my two daughters as nothing more than camouflage and logically I know that was wrong. But I will tell you this much, for whatever it's worth, the three of you were the only true human connection that I've ever had and it was important to me."
"Well at least that's something. More than those people you killed ever got." Adrianna says with malice "Goodbye daddy, gotta get home before mom finishes off the last of the Jack Daniels."
"Will I see you again?" asks Marcos with hope.
Adrianna sighs "I don't know dad, but I hope so. Love you." She says as she hangs up the receiver and leaves the visitor's room.
Marcos shakes his head, feeling defeated as he slowly places the receiver back on the hook.