first songfic ever…
I don't own anything
What did Kirk think about in his quarter after Spock's funeral service, before he got interrupted by David?
Ghost
He was finally own his own, away from the familar faces that only mirrored his pain. He tried to get away from it all, hide in his quarters until he had found a way to cope with his feelings. But he could not escape them. Spocks birthday present lay on the top of the table, unread, untouched. For a long moment, the past days and hours felt unreal, almost like a dream to Kirk. But life is not a dream and reality hit him again as he sat down on a chair and stared at the book in front of him. He couldn't open it, his hands were not reacting to his will. His mind started wandering. He thought of the time he first met Spock. The thought almost made him smile.
And the mississippis mighty
But it starts in minnesota
At a place that you could walk across
With five steps down
And I guess thats how you started
Like a pinprick to my heart
But at this point you rush right through me
And I start to drown
The smile vanished as the memory of those fatal moments, of these last moments with Spock shot through his head.
And theres not enough room
In this world for my pain
Signals cross and love gets lost
And time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits
I need you the most
Im in love with your ghost
Im in love with your ghost
And saddest thing of all – he never knew. He never told him just how much he cared. He failed to show him his love.
Now I see your face before me
I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island
As the sand beneath me slips
As I burn up in your presence
And I know now how it feels
To be weakened like achilles
With you always at my heels
This bitter pill I swallow
Is the silence that I keep
It poisons me I cant swim free
The river is too deep
Though Im baptized by your touch
I am no worse than most
In love with your ghost
Kirk knew, that his pain and his regret would never pass. Spock's ghost would be haunting him forever, because he would always remember him.
THE END
Lyrics by Indigo Girls